[Sleepwhenimdead]

hi everyone

this is my first post and I’m here because I’m desperate.

I’ve struggled with insomnia for as long as I can remember (I’m 30 and literally have always been this way, throughout my childhood as well). It goes through phases, a week or so awful nights of bad sleep followed by 1 or 2 ‘good’ nights because my body is exhausted, then back to another period of no sleep, etc.  Rinse and repeat.

Except right now I’m in week 3 of no sleep and I’m on the edge. I’m breaking down, I have daily headaches that painkillers won’t touch and I have to literally spend my afternoons in a dark room as the only relief. I’m walking into things, dropping things, spilling things. I feel so depressed and awful all the time. I’m not productive and I can’t get things done at work. I’m a business owner so it directly affects my income and I can’t get sick pay or anything.

I’ve tried the Calm app (sleep stories, music, daily calm…the works), chamomile tea, limited caffeine (I only ever have 1 coffee first thing, that’s it and the only other thing I drink all day is water). I’ve cut out sugar and my diet is definitely on the healthy side. I exercise regularly – I walk an average of 20-30kms 5 days a week for my job.

I went to the doctor on Friday because it had been 2 full weeks and although I don’t love to take prescribed drugs I needed SOMETHING. She prescribed my 5 zopiclone and a months supply melatonin. I didn’t get the melatonin because it’s not funded in this country and would have cost me $100+ for a months supply, which I can’t afford. My friend instead gave me some (she’d brought back from the states) of a slightly higher dosage which gave me 1 decent night (6 solid hours) over the weekend but didn’t touch the sides the second night. Now I’m back to square one! I’m going to try the zopiclone tonight, but I know that’s not a long term solution.

What frustrates me more is the doctor said ‘some people are just prone to this and it’s something you have to live with’. I know it’s dramatic but I can’t face the thought of living like this.

So anyway, I’m not expecting anything to come out of this post. Just needed somewhere to get it out I guess.

[jillyrunpee]

I am really angry at your Doctor for you. Can you try another dr?

Mine won’t even prescribe sleeping meds. I have to smuggle them in from Mexico. Good thing I live near the border.

[Martin Reed]

Sorry to hear about the trouble you have with sleep. Periods of catchup sleep demonstrate that your capability to sleep has not gone away. What is likely happening is your natural urge and propensity to sleep is being negatively affected by your arousal system (also known as the ‘fight or flight’ response).

This is a survival mechanism that helps us delay sleep in times of danger. However, the arousal system is easily triggered. As soon as we ‘try’ to sleep, we activate the arousal system. As soon as we worry about sleep, we activate the arousal system.

Although the arousal system is effective at keeping us awake, sleep pressure eventually wins and forces us to sleep for a few days — exactly as you have described.

Once this sleep pressure has been relieved, the arousal system recovers its ability to suspend sleep. So, you get the familiar cycle of nights of poor sleep followed by nights of good sleep, and on and on.

It sounds as though your arousal system is extremely strong and you have a strong association between sleep (maybe even the bed, too) and wakefulness, worry, and stress. This makes these periods of poor sleep increasingly long as the arousal system becomes stronger while the other systems that control sleep (sleep pressure and the sleep/wake cycle) become weaker.

Did your doctor mention cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I)? This treatment option doesn’t require drugs and studies have proved that it is just as effective as sleeping pills over the short-term, and more effective than sleeping pills over the long-term.

CBT-I works because it helps address the thoughts and behaviors that usually interfere with sleep. In particular, it helps weaken the arousal system while strengthening sleep pressure and the sleep/wake cycle. Over time, the bed becomes a strong trigger for sleep rather than wakefulness.

You do NOT have to live with insomnia. Do not give up!

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Clarity program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Chris]

Hello to desperate,(sleepwhenI?)  this is Chris-

Just wanted to see how things have been

going? It looks like you came into the forum

at the beginning of the month? I came because

I was desperate as well. Since I have been here

I have felt better. This will be the 5th night in a

row of sleep. Some of the last attempts I have

tried was/is rain sounds, boring stories and meditation.

I am still listening to constant sounds or rain, it is calming

but not sleep.  I cut sugar as well.  I don’t think I could

walk as far as you said. Granted I have not worked in

almost 13 years.  Sorry=Jillrunpee my doctor seems to

hand out SP but eventually tolerance catches up and they

don’t work.  I have avoided watching time & clocks for

over 6 months now.

And now after 5 days and 9 whole hours, I don’t care

if it was the Valarien drops, or the Melatonin drops?

Or the new exercise I am doing that I found here.

Or simply as your doctor said some of us are just prone.

I have had Epilepsy for 25 years and now the past 5

years the side effects (insomnia)  are reflecting what

your doctor said. I am tired of trying to get there.

If you are still out there, hang in there.

 

 

[SergioRenato7]

Hey Chris,

What caused the epilepsy?

[Chris]

Hello Sergio,

Nice to hear from somebody out there!

If my math is correct; 24 years ago I was
in an car accident and hit my head. The
type I have is not so bad. Save the lack of
sleep. Seizures are possible what is happening
when I should be going to sleep.

What is causing your insomnia?

[SergioRenato7]

Mine was also caused by external factors. 2.5 years ago I had some bad drug experiences and was regularly depriving myself of sleep to the point of hallucination. Then one night my sleep suddenly became fragmented and I was having anxiety attacks. I also always wake up out of a vivid dream as well. I kind of understand the cause, but don’t know the problem and what I need to do to fix it.

Despite all this, I realise just how much better off I am when I read through this forum. I just often forget this though.

Is it just the drugs causing insomnia or the seizures as well?

 

[Chris]

As far as I am being lead to believe what is causing the insomnia is

the side effects of my anti-seizure med Dilantin.  And as far as the

anxiety attacks/vivid dreams, I have not had experience. When I was

working 12 years ago, I never had them then. I was getting between

4.5 – 5.5 hours. This was as close to normal I think I have ever been.

Work might have been stressful but it was something to think about

before I went to sleep to get up for.

AS you said and can see there are a few other suffering in there own way

to whatever degree. I guess it is hard to compare all of it to the next persons

situation.

This last month twice I was close to seeing things that were not there. BUT-

mine has been more Hearing things that were not there.  Like people talking.

After 111 hours and 168 hours without sleep it did not seem to hard to believe.

 

I did not have to come to this site to find somebody having a worse day then

I am; the news needs no help. I came here because I ran out of ideas, and I was

not looking forward to the next time. This site is like everything else in the sense

it is inspiring but we look through it on are devices that are no-no’s. Then I want

to make somebody else feel better. And it is tough trying to feel for so many.

I need to stop!

[jillyrunpee]

Question: why am i waking up after every dream? Anyone else have this?

This is a good conversation. I’ll add more soon.

[SergioRenato7]

So you wake up out of dreams too, Jilly? That’s interesting. Before my insomnia I never used to ever remember dreams. I only ever remember having one. So maybe my bad drug experiences leading up to the insomnia triggered some PTSD symptoms. Except my dreams don’t relate to anything traumatic. But it could be a sign of something. Perhaps my brain is dreaming more because it feels in danger. I know some biologists claim that we dream as practice for survival situations. So my brain could just be intensifying this process as some sort of hyper vigilance.

[Hols]

This is an older post but in case you see this, I really relate to your experience. I am currently trying the advice from Martin (which seems to be helping somewhat so far, but I’m only a couple weeks in). I’m also reading a book called Say Goodnight to Insomnia, which has helped to reduce some of my insomnia-related anxieties. It also also goes into CBT techniques, but I haven’t made it that far into the book yet. I REALLY hope you can find something that helps you. I know how debilitating insomnia can be and how it makes life feel not worth living anymore, but don’t give up on trying to find a solution! You are not alone.

Also, don’t worry about what your dr said, it sounds like he’s not very familiar with insomnia and potential solutions . Maybe get a new one if you can!

[Author]

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