[carolineh]

Hi,

My problems with sleep have been fairly recent and sudden. I’ve always been a good sleeper and made sure I prioritised getting good sleep.

During lockdown in April & May time I started having nights when I couldn’t sleep. I don’t just mean I had trouble dropping off, I mean that I didn’t sleep at all. I would not shut my eyes all night. It was miserable. I would get so upset by it and catastrophise in mind thinking that I’d never sleep again!

I did research: I tried not to nap; I made sure my room was a good environment; I started taking magnesium supplements; I even bought some melatonin online (I’m in the UK). Things got better. I’d still have the odd night where I struggled to sleep, but it was maybe once a month or so.

Now the sleeplessness has come back with a vengeance. In the last week, I’ve had 4 nights when I haven’t closed my eyes at all. I don’t know what is happening to me but it’s tuned me into an anxious zombie.

I dread night times. I’m almost afraid to go to bed because of how distressed I get when I can’t sleep.

I feel like an utter baby but I’m really struggling to cope. I think a huge part of my problem is my reaction to not sleeping. I go into full on panic mode. I’m obsessed with how many hours I’ve managed. If I don’t sleep well it feels like I’ve failed. I tell myself the day will be awful, I won’t cope at work, I won’t be able to drive safely etc as I lie there so anxious for sleep. I’m surprised at my reaction really. It’s been a short time and I know people have dealt with similar for years! I’ve always had a fear of not sleeping and appreciated that I’ve been a good sleeper so I’m really afraid that this is a pattern that will now stick and it really scares me.

I’m 42 and a secondary school teacher so stressed out of my mind right now anyway.

After a night of no sleeping, I spend the day miserable and anxious, dreading nighttime. My reaction is almost worse than the sleeplessness.

I’ve tried mindfulness and sleep apps and they haven’t really worked. I just can’t get out of the panicked mindset as I lie there with time ticking away until morning.

Please help!
Sorry this was so long.

[Frima]

I also used to teach and worried about the effect of insomnia on my teaching. I always prepared lessons so even if I was super tired , I was able to give over the lesson. ( I taught HS Math). As far as driving, my Dr didnt allow me to drive to work after an almost sleepless night. I opted for public transportation or took a car service to work when I felt extremely tired.

[Scott]

Hi @carolineh!

Welcome to the forum and for sharing your story. I can relate to your story as if it was mine when I experienced insomnia. I’ve always considered myself a sound sleeper but after listening to a podcast about the alleged health consequences of not getting a certain amount of sleep, I became anxious about a perceived problem. There were weeks where I didn’t sleep for 4 straight days and tried every tactic on the Internet to resolve my sleep problem. My days were consumed by anxious thoughts about sleeping at night which persisted for 10 months. The good news is prior to April you slept great so that’s proof you CAN sleep but when we experiment with methods to fix our sleep disruption it actually makes us more aroused, especially as bedtime approaches. Sleep doesn’t respond to our attempts and those efforts to fix it usually perpetuates the issue. A common trait when we experience a poor night’s sleep is to change our daily behaviors such as skipping social events, introduce nighttime routines, etc. Since we can control the quality of day we have and not sleep, I’d encourage you to avoid changing your daily habits to accommodate for lack of sleep. The better you make your day, the less pressure you’ll likely put on yourself to sleep. When I changed my thoughts about poor sleep, I began to see a lot of traction to what I’ve known to be normal sleep for me. More importantly, I began to have my days back instead of being consumed by “how do I fix this problem?”.

Hope that helps!

Scott J

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Clarity program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Manfred]

@carolineh Welcome to the club! Your story could be written by me. How are u doing? Since we seem to have the same issue with sleep anxiety, we should exchange if u like.

Right now, I am in this hole again. Constant obsessions, anticpatory anxiety during the day and at night…. Intrusive thoughts coming along also. Ths all leads to exitentials threads.

@scottctj: You say that “When I changed my thoughts…”- my problem is “HOW”. I have tried a lot but this damm anxiety is very persistend and creative. I even fear going back to CBT-I although I know it is my best chance.

All the best to everyone – stay healthy

Manfred

[Scott]

@Manfred,

When I experienced insomnia, my thoughts about getting good sleep consumed my day and night. I spent hours every day thinking and researching of ways to correct my problem. After all my failed attempts in implementing all the sleep tactics on the Internet, I finally decided to acknowledge my thoughts as what they were – just thoughts. Instead of canceling my social events due to fatigue, discontinued exercising, not having wine with dinner, etc – I resisted the urge to change my lifestyle because of lack of sleep. I made sure I participated in enjoyable activities during the day which lessoned the added pressure I put on myself to sleep that night. When I realized that I could still perform at work and in social gatherings, it reinforced the idea that everything will be ok.

Have you changed your daytime and bedtime routines to accommodate for your sleep disruption?

Hope that helps,
Scott J

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Clarity program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Martin Reed]

Welcome to the forum, @carolineh!

If you don’t sleep well, you have not failed — because you have no control over sleep! There is nothing you can do to make yourself fall asleep or fall back to sleep (other than being awake for long enough). There is certainly nothing you can do to make yourself sleep for a certain amount of time!

As you pointed out, it’s often our reaction to sleep (or wakefulness!) that can perpetuate sleep disruption. If we worry or even panic about sleep, we increase arousal and our body then needs to generate more sleep drive (spend more time awake) to overpower that arousal.

However, sleep always happens in the end, because sleep drive always wins in the end.

Ultimately, we want to lower arousal so we don’t need to generate quite so much sleep drive in order to sleep! It’s helpful, too, to use sleep drive to our advantage (by not going to bed too early, for example) and to get the body clock on our side by ensuring we’re always out of bed by the same time each day and we are active and engaged in daytime activities.

On a separate note, you might find it helpful to explore what it is about the idea of not sleeping that seems to generate such worry and anxiety — very often the thoughts we have that generate the most anxiety and worry are rarely as accurate as they first seem. Recognizing this can strip those thoughts of their power, lower arousal, and make sleep a bit easier.

I hope this helps.

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Clarity program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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