[Evie]

Hi. I’ve dealt with insomnia on and off for almost my whole life.
I’ve been listening to some of the podcasts here and I can so relate to the description of the problem.
But what I can’t relate to is the following: Most of the people interviewed come to the realization that it’s not so bad when they don’t get sleep.
The problem is I hate the way I feel during the day when I don’t get sleep and this is a big driver of my insomnia. Even if I manage to get through the day doing all the things I would normally do, I feel horrible and when I look back at those days, it almost seems like a trauma.
My level of tolerance to everything is very low. My clothes feel tight, my skin feels dry, I have digestion problems, I can’t tolerate being around people etc etc.
The funny thing is that I don’t even have bad nights so often compared to a lot of the other people here. But when I do, the next day I become convinced that I will never a good night again (and then I usually do until the next time).
I pretty much dread every important event in my life because I’m convinced I won’t sleep the night before and I won’t be able to function. Funny thing is it usually doesn’t happen.
So the main question is, how can I convince myself it will be ok if I don’t sleep when experience proves me otherwise?

[sleep]

I cant relate to having insomnia my whole life, 2 years was definitely rough enough. I know it is a terrible feeling the next day when you cant sleep. I was so upset thinking something bad will happen if I dont sleep and then I would not sleep, one time for 3 days.

When i listened to the videos Martin Reed puts out he says I will sleep again and finding out so many had this problem. Now I know I will sleep eventually. If I have a bad night which I have not had in a long time I know I will sleep. The sleep drives builds up and I sleep. I went on with my life sleep or no sleep even if I felt bad and it just straightened itself out. I do feel fortunate after the 2 weeks of emails I started sleeping and living my life. I had to let go and what will be will be. I certainly could not control it. If I am not sleeping I lay there and relax and drift off and sleep. I do know not sleeping sucks and makes you feel like a zombie the next day. I go to bed at 12 and sleep til 6 or 7 am, I am so glad I found this website and Martin Reed. It just clicked so fast with me. I guess just knowing I will sleep eventually, doing nothing and my sleep comes back. It does seem weird but not fighting it is what worked.

[Maxine]

I’m exactly the same as you,the fatigue the next day is awful..I can’t be bothered to talk, socialise and feel really down some days but i just somehow get through them and hold onto the thought that this will get better..you’re not alone but I feel so alone sometimes, everyone us going about their normal life, laughing, joking, refreshed and I feel like my life is on hold. We just have to hang in there till it gets better

[Martin Reed]

Hello Evie and welcome to the forum!

It’s OK to not like certain thoughts and feelings and it’s OK to want them gone. That desire is totally valid, understandable, and human!

So, there’s no need to try to convince yourself of anything you don’t believe. As you shared, thoughts and feelings can be accurate and helpful. And sometimes they can be inaccurate and unhelpful.

What many people describe on the podcast is that the weight — the power, influence, and difficulty — of all those thoughts and feelings can become a bit lighter when they move away from trying to fight or avoid them. When they gain skill in making space for them to come and go (even if they’d rather not experience them at all).

As your experience tells you, you cannot control what thoughts and feelings show up (or how long they stick around for). You can control how you respond to them. And your response might determine the amount of power and influence they have over your life.

With that being said, these are just my thoughts — you are the expert on you. I hope there’s something useful here.

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The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Author]

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