[Kira]

I’m seeking help for lifelong sleeplessness that has recently turned into severe insomnia and anxiety. For most of my life I’ve slept 5-6 hours a night. Last year I began getting 2-4 with an occasional night of 5 hrs. I’ve tried everything – melatonin, magnesium, sleeping pills, early bedtime, good sleep hygiene, etc., but nothing helped. Earlier this year I began seeing a wellness doctor hoping to get help. After taking supplements and prescriptions and doing things like brain neurofeedback, hyperbaric chambers, red light and IV-oxone treatments and radically changing my diet, I am now sleeping 1-2 hours a night. It totally backfired on me. Typically I go to bed at 10 p.m., fall asleep within a half hour but I wake up within 2 hrs and cannot get back to sleep for the rest of the night. Even though I’m exhausted, I can’t turn my brain off so I can fall asleep. I have much more anxiety than I have ever had and I work myself into a high emotional state. I’m exhausted, I can’t focus on tasks and I feel as if my brain is going to explode. Minor disruptions in my life turn into major events.

I appreciate the videos with Martin’s past clients because it makes me realize I’m not alone. I worry that since I’ve had trouble sleeping all my life that I am beyond help – has anyone else felt that? I keep reading and re-reading the free program emails hoping the information sticks to me. I’m hoping for a miracle.

[Bronte]

Hi Kira. I have also had insomnia most of my life, certainly 40 years. I’ve always had to take something to help me sleep, usually antihistamine, not sleeping pills as they made me feel worse.
Last August I decided I was going to stop taking anything as the antihistamine was causing me other problems. I literally tried everything, like you, but to no avail. I was sleeping no more than 3 hours for 5 nights and 2 nights a week I would be awake all night.
It was around this time I found Martin. He helped me a lot by removing all rituals and habits to help you sleep and I realised that I was trying way too hard to sleep (I wonder if you are too?) I was doing meditation, cognitive exercises, audio books, none of it worked. I was going to bed thinking what can I try tonight? I was feeling desperate.
Then I decided to do nothing. Like you, I was exhausted and every task was an effort and I had lost all enthusiasm for doing normal tasks. It was such a relief to stop focussing on it and worrying about it. I found the most effective thing was to tell myself ‘it doesn’t matter if I don’t sleep’ ‘I’m resting and I don’t care if I feel rough the next day’
This worked quite well for a while and I was sleeping maybe 5-6 hours a night and that’s enough for me to be able function. I started to feel better and get my life back but then I started to feel scared that it might come back and the anxiety started to build up again.
I have to say the biggest help for me came from the mind/body authors. I suffer with chronic pain as well, which is also related to the anxiety. Insomnia is a mind/body condition and Martin does follow a lot of the same principles. I can point you to some good authors if you are interested.
It’s all about removing the fear and calming your nervous system. Like you, because I’ve had it for so long I wonder if I can ever really resolve it – I don’t know? I hope so 🤞
So currently I’m better but still waking up a lot and not getting back to sleep. I’m following the following principles and hoping I will get back to where I was soon as I know I can do it….
*Only go to bed when you are very sleepy
*Get up at 6am every morning
*Avoid any bedtime rituals or habits
*Take the fear out of it, stay calm and don’t struggle with sleep (stop caring about it)
*Get on with life and don’t think about it during the day
*Get busy, see friends, go out, stop talking about it and tell yourself you are getting on with your life regardless.
It’s hard to maintain, especially when you are tired but I believe it’s the only thing that works. Eventually your brain gets the hang of it and goes to sleep when you give it the opportunity to.
Sorry this has been a long winded ramble and I hope maybe some of it resonates with you. I’m mainly saying you are not alone and mine has been long lasting like yours has. I believe we can resolve it but you have to work on unraveling suppressed emotions (often from childhood) and change your mindset about sleep. You can do this by using mind/body techniques. Good luck!!

[Kira]

Thanks for your reply, Brontë. I would absolutely like to know the names of the mind/body authors. I am certain I am trying too hard to sleep but it is kind of a mystery to me (at this point) how you achieve not to doing that. A few days ago I watched a now deleted interview with a client and his story mirrored mine to a “T”. After watching it, I used some of the ideas he and Martin talked about and I slept 3 hours which was big for me. Also, after awakening I was actually able to go back to sleep. But…now that video is gone so I can’t watch it again. (Heavy sigh.)

[Bronte]

Oh that’s a shame about the video being deleted. Could you not contact Martin so you could access it again? I did find those videos helpful too.

So mind/body authors Howard Schubiner, Unlearn your Pain ; Alan Gordon, The Way Out ; John Sarno, The Mindbody Prescription ; Nicole Sachs, Mind Your Body. There are many more. The theories are predominantly targeting chronic pain but there are numerous mind/body conditions that can all be helped with the principles and techniques. Insomnia is one. You will find many of the authors have podcasts on YouTube. The other great resource is the Curable app. It’s free for 2 weeks and not very expensive if you decide to proceed. It provides everything, education, brain training, meditation, podcasts from experts and recovery stories. Just look it up under Curable.com

Hope that helps. Let me know how you get on.
As I said, the principles are mainly about reducing fear and calming the nervous system.

[Kira]

Thanks for the info, Brontë. I found the podcast of the video I had listened to so all is well.

[Martin Reed]

You’re definitely not alone, Kira — as you’ve discovered thanks to the wonderfully supportive @Bronte (and those podcast episodes)!

Your experience seems to be telling you that the more you try to control sleep, the more difficult it becomes.

Based on what you’ve learned (from your experience, from Bronte, from the podcast, from elsewhere), what do you feel is the best way for you to move forward?

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Kira]

It seems I need to stop trying so hard to sleep. That seems like a gigantic task given the number of years I’ve spent trying to do that.

[Bronte]

Yes we need to stop trying so hard 😩 I know it’s not easy!

I have found changing my mindset to ‘I can’t control or manipulate my sleep so I’m going to stop trying’ is helping me a lot. Every time something pops into my head about sleep I tell myself there’s no need for that thought as there’s nothing I can do to change my sleep. It’s out of my control. It will happen when it’s ready. Accept it.

You are not alone.

[Author]

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