[sjchris408]

Hello, I’m 34 yo male living in California and developed some significant sleep challenges in the past 3-4 months. It’s hard to say where they started, but I think that over the last couple of years I might have over-indexed on sleep hygiene (think melatonin every night, earplugs, eye mask, noise machine, etc.) and as a byproduct perhaps put too much concern into sleep. I believe that I also have higher levels of anxiety than the norm. I sometimes would have a poor night of sleep but rarely multiple nights in a row. I was also getting the occasional bad migraine and a doctor asked about my sleep. I admitted it might be a factor.

The first time I remember the poor sleep lasting multiple nights in a row was last November. My fiance, who I almost always slept in bed with, was visiting her parents for the holidays. I couldn’t sleep and my heart was racing, chest pains. I went to a doctor to run an EKG and he said everything was normal. I slept pretty well after that. Then the sleeplessness became more frequent this year – perhaps a couple of times a week, where it would often be triggered by a hotel stay (unfamiliar mattress, excessive noise, etc.)

And then in the last month or so it’s gotten really bad. Sleeping through the night (more than a couple of hours) less than half the days. As a result, my thinking is clouded, my neck has been super sore, anxiety levels have soared, heartburn and indigestion, etc.

I’ve listened to the podcast and signed up for the email course and tried to implement sleep restriction (go to sleep at 12:30am and up at 6:30pm) and stimulus control for close to a week, but I haven’t seen immediate results. I do get sleepy and nod off for a few minutes at a time around 9-11 pm while my fiance and I watch a movie, but as it gets closer to bedtime, often anxiety kicks in – even subtly – and I might try to meditate or listen to relaxing music, etc. but I struggle to go to sleep. It’s like the sleepiness evaporates, I can’t relax, and every sleeping position doesn’t quite feel comfortable.

Any thoughts on what I can try differently?

[Slock]

Same story here!!!!
I am in the first week of SR and its worse than ever, anxiety level so high, and amount of time sleeping POOR.

[Martin Reed]

I wonder if the “missing piece” might be the struggle with anxiety? For as long as we try to fight or avoid anxiety, we’ll continue to get tangled up in an endless (and exhausting!) battle with it.

The more we try to sleep, the more we try to avoid wakefulness, the more we try to control our thoughts and feelings, the more challenging all these things become — because we cannot control them!

I wonder if making space for anxiety to exist, to acknowledge its presence and allow it to hang out for as long as it likes, might be a huge weight off your shoulders?

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[sjchris408]

Hi Martin, I implemented your advice (and what they similarly suggest in the DARE book) to let the anxiety exist, make peace with it, etc. and now that I’m in week 2 of sleep restriction, it seems to be working much better. I’m at least getting to sleep every night. Thank you.

[Martin Reed]

I really appreciate the update — thanks for that! I’m a big fan of the DARE book!

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[onsetsleepgirl]

sjchris408 – You are describing exactly how I feel.
I am sleepy and go to bed when sleepy but as soon as I lay down, the sleep goes away. It is the fight and flight response, the anxiety that kicks in and doesn’t let me fall asleep. My onset insomnia issue has been going on for about 6 weeks now.
I’m not sure if you still get notifications for these posts but I would love to hear how are you doing these days and any advice you may want to share. I’m applying some CBT-I techniques and will take a look at the book you mentioned. I recently found this Forum/group/Martin Reed site.
I’m a healthy woman in my late 30s also from California.

[Author]

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