[frozensun]

I must go to hospital in the next few days,where neurologists will try to see what can be done for me.

I don’t expect anything at all,since I see you guys struggling with this evil.

My life has become horrible and agony.I sleep 3 hours per night on mirtazapine,last night barely 2 hours.

I’m tired,exhausted,having dissociative simptoms and cognitive difficulties.

Yesterday I just fell on the concrete while waiting for a friend to come,then I started to tremble and shake and cry.There is no help,I visited many doctors no one could help me.

Insomnia is tough than it was ever before.Seems to me like shift work did the damage so as constant stress in last few weeks.

I became terrified of reading everything about sleep deprivation,posts of others,afraid of night coming and even going to bed since I know what waits for me at that night.

The worse thing is exhaustion,sleepiness over day,but when I lay on bed my brain simply won’t shut off no matter how tired I am,I can not fall asleep,and that makes me thinking about suicide.

 

[frozensun]

Well I sleep less and less few days ago back at hospital 10 mg of valium i.m. knocked me down for 7 hours.

Then I came home continued taking remeron+1mg of klonopin and it gave me like 5 h of sleep.

But in past few days I slept less and less and last night only 2.5 hours.

What is happening to me?

I’m so affraid I will loose sleep forever or get a total sleep deprivation!!

The only thing what is new is I started taking Zoloft in the morning,but please please don’t tell me he gives me insomnia.Because I’m so depressed when not taking a.d. with this horrible insomnia that I can’t stand it anymore.I started reading book The Effortless Sleep…but I don’t know some things in that book makes me hard to believe that so easily sleep got to that guy so I quit.Seems so unreal that he got he sleep back.

I think this will end up in total sleep deprivation,but please God don’t make me so.

I had problems before with Escitalopram 20 mg for 2 years I was waking up at 2:30 for no reason,and when I quit escitalopram I could sleep until 5 a.m.

Now in few days back I was waking up around 3:30 always,then at 2:30 and last night at around 1 a.m.

Even 10 mg of valium plus 1 mog of klonopin couldn’t knock me back to sleep.

What should I do.I’mm off work for 3 weeks.Should I maybe stop taking all meds and pray to God to get at least 4 h of normal sleep without meds?

[frozensun]

I’m reading a book effortless sleep  method and I’m in the middle of it.

I really haven’t found that much in this book,I mean it is not helping me at all.

My problem is completly different from his,but I will accept advices which he was writting in the book.

I can’t fall asleep at all.This is very concerning to me,and I am affrraid a lot that I will get total sleep deprivation.Then suicide thoughts come to my mind because of huge depression and lack of sleep probably.

I’m so scared,I will go crazy,if I will suffer from the rest of my life.I’m off work and that is even a huge punch to me,because I feel worthless every day of my life.

I try to get any activity during day,but no matter what I still can’t fall asleep.

Pills so far work but only for 3-4 hours and I take them late because I am trying to sleep without them but I can’t.

Doctors ain’t helping me and I know they can’t.I expected maybe too much from them,but from last doctor I’ve been told that nobody can help me with this disease and that punched me like a sledgehammer.

I cry a lot these days,I lost job,lost friends,lost sleep most importantly.

Don’t know what else is left for me to try.

I forget things,my concentration is very low,and I make mistakes in everyday,like want to print a paper but didn’t put it in the machine and that stuff.I can’t recognize my self anymore,and that hurts me a lot,I became other person since this disease took me,and that hurts me a lot.

I downloaded I found other books,and tell me,how do I live with this thing,please?

[frozensun]

Someone wrote that the main cause of my insomnia is shiftwork disorder.

Well I am off work for over a month and still can’t can’t fall asleep.

So,what now?

If the shiftwork is the cause,I don’t work now.

[frozensun]

I completely lost a will to live,nothing makes me happy not interesting anymore.

I am thinking to take a cocktail of meds and never wake up.

Insomnia made living hell of my life…

I don’t work for almost 2 months and still can’t fall asleep naturally (with meds only 3-4 h).

[Martin Reed]

Suicide is NEVER the solution. If you have suicidal thoughts, please talk to someone right away or call the emergency services immediately.

I cannot recall exactly where in the world you are. This website seems like it may be targeted at your geographical area: https://www.centarsrce.org/

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[frozensun]

so they gave me clozapine 50 mg in the evening.

I told them I won’t take drugs for schizo and psychosis but then they told me they can’t help me and that I am avoiding any help,like it’s better to sleep with clozapine then don’t sleep at all.

Last night I slept 1.5 h and I fell on the floor today.

I had chest pain,problems with breathing and like some kind of itches in lower part of arms and legs.

Because I tried a lots of drugs,and like my doctor told me to trust him,and that I am avoding any kind of help last option would be clozapine,and he told me I need rest and sleep,and I told him clozapine is not solution you can’t drug me forever,but then he asked me do you want help or not?And it ended in that way.

Now I don’t know should I take this dangerous drug or not?

[frozensun]

Back in 2016 I was diagnosed with BPD,so I really don’t know what came first BPD or sleep disorder.

Is there any correlation between those 2?

BPD is not cureable,and seems my insomnia too,so I am in a lot of pain,agony and suffer still…

[frozensun]

So shrink gave me clozapine.

I wanted to avoid that med whole time but seems to me I couldn’t.

well only 50 mg can put me to sleep,but I feel very groggy and quite sedated over whole day.

He then changed the dosage to 12.5 mg with mirtazapine 15 mg and same thing,the sedation starts to wear off around 6 p.m.

Is there something to overcome sedation from clozapine,cuz I don’t want to live the rest of my life like this?

[gsdmom]

About 15 years ago I had a terrible bout of insomnia due to an SSRI drug, Celexa. When you are on these drugs its difficult to have a clear perspective of what’s going on sometimes, depending on your body chemistry. I ending up reading this book by Peter Breggin, Medication Madness who discusses over use of SSRIs and other drugs. It may be very insightful to you because its related to some of the medication you’ve been on. You sound so desperate I had to respond. I wish there was a safe drug for me to just knock me out, but I know there is not. I don’t even respond well to the natural remedies. My sleep doc recommended tryptophan, I took it 2 days ago, gave me the worst hangover and mental numbness for 20 hours after taking it and had no improvement of my sleep. Even on only 2 hours of sleep today I am feeling OK so far because I’ve had no drugs or herbal products  in my system for a few days. Has anyone looked into you trying gabapentin? It is used off label for sleep issues sometimes. It is primarily a drug for seizures, my daughter took it as a child and my husband takes it now for peripheral neuropathy. It has many off-label uses and I think is fairly safe.

[frozensun]

what dosage of gabapentin is for sleep?

I really can’t function like this on clozapine.

I’m in a brain fog,loss of concentration,sleepy,tired as hell and drowsiness is huge issue to me.

The only thing what is left for me is not to take any drugs anymore for sleep.

Can I risk my chances,to try?

I know I won’t sleep maybe for 48 h and it is very risky.

What do you guys think?

[gsdmom]

I think you will have to have a lot of patience you solve your medication dilemma. Make sure you are eating a healthy diet and getting good exercise. Getting off your medications will take some time to do it safely, under your doctor’s supervision. I cannot answer the dosage question about gabapentin, hopefully your doctor can give this some thought .

[obribri]

Frozensun,

I can relate 100% to what you’re talking about and can tell you about my story. I started having insomnia issues in March of 2018. I couldn’t fall asleep at all! I would go 3 days without any sleep and then the 4th night will knock out for 4 hours and that’s all I could get. I’ve tried medication (Trazodone, Seroquel, Ambien), herbal teas, exercise, meditation, and bedtime routines. Nothing worked! The only medication that even knocked me out was Ambien and that only lasted 4 hours. None of them gave me restful sleep though so I felt like I didn’t sleep at all. I even contemplated suicide with overdosing because I had all those drugs in my cabinet.

Then I heard about CBTI, got some help, and was “cured” for 7 months. Then in March of 2019, I was experiencing insomnia again. This time, it wasn’t as bad because I’d only go 2 days without sleep before my body was too exhausted and I’d sleep for 4-5 hours and the cycle continues. I enrolled in Martin’s course even though I knew what to expect because I’ve been through it before, but I needed to know I could email/text someone if I have further questions and for the accountability. The first 3 weeks sucked. Even if I was getting a bit better, I still had the majority of the week where I had insomnia. Then for some reason starting week 5, I was sleeping better even if I wasn’t following Martin’s rules 100%. My current sleep diary has 0 days of insomnia and I’ve been falling asleep between 5-20 minutes each night and without any medication. I’m not saying you will not have to use medication because you do have bipolar disorder, but I’m saying you shouldn’t need a medication specifically for sleep in the long term. Short term uses are to get over the anxiety of not sleeping.

I felt those chest pains, the oncoming colds, the racing heart all during my time with insomnia. While it’s true that sleep deprivation increases your likelihood of getting sick because your body can’t fight the infections as well when it’s not rested, there is no way to tell if you being sick is related to not being able to sleep. Also, Martin is right in that everyone sleeps unless you have fatal familial insomnia. You may not think you’re sleeping but you are even if that happens on the 4th or 5th night. The sleep may not be deep sleep so you don’t realize it but you are still getting stage 1 or stage 2.

I think you are suffering from shift work disorder and even if you have been off work for sometime, your anxiety levels are way too high to see any progress. I know I would suffer from this, so when I graduate nursing school, I will be trying my hardest to find a job with a set shift because of my history. What you need is to enroll in a CBTI course or take action and believe those books you’ve been reading and follow their advice. What helped me is to just believe, let my mind wander for a bit if it wants to at night, and then make it go blank when I’ve worked through what my brain wanted. I still have sleepless nights if I’m up thinking about something such as a conversation I just had or if I’m anticipating something nerve-wracking. If I even think about sleeping at night, you can be sure I’ll be up for a while. I’d also like to add I don’t think I’m “cured” because it can happen again at any time, but I just wanted to let you know there is hope and that there are people who have gone days without sleep but are sleeping better for now!

[frozensun]

Me deicied to stop taking all the meds.4 years I’m taking all possible sedatives.

This will me tough.

I know once ended up in hallucinations not sleeping for 4 nights/days and was given thorazine.

Someone here said it’s impossible for human not to fell asleep for more then 2 days.

This is really risky,since I know my body now can’t handle even one night without sleep.

I don’t expect miracle,so guys tell me,if I don’t fall asleep at least for 2 hours in 48 hours could I risk not to take any drugs third night?

[frozensun]

Where can I practice CBT-I and mention to my therapist?Any link?

I mean I did all what you could say to a guy,avoid caffeine,excercise,laptop,dinner late etc etc nothing so far helped.I think that’s a since I see people taking coffe around 8:30 p.m and running/doing excercise around 7 p.m. and probably sleep normally.

I want a link to book or something about CBT-I,my therapist doesn’t know about that.

I suffer from borderline personality disorder and I think I got that with insomnia and somatoform disorder but I never had issues with this until insomnia hit me.Now looks like I’m in circle insomnia-bpd-som.dis-insomnia any each feeds other.

[Author]

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