[Christine]

I’m afraid due to my behavior of avoidance that I am going to lose some friendships. Because of the lack of motivation and tiredness, I cancel meetings and things. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

Should I be open and honest with people and let them know what I’m going through?

 

[Steve]

Absolutely Christine. Don’t try to carry this burden alone. Your true friends will understand and be supportive. Give them some credit. Everyone I told was completely understanding and have tried to support me in this. Try not to lose friendships over this. Even if you can’t get together as often as you used to, at least they will understand why.

[delv-x]

True friends will be compassionate and understanding. Often times they will offer support which can be quite comforting.

 

[Edgar]

In my experience – losing friends, real ones, of course not,  but gaining new friends – very hard. Who will give you a chance, talk to you when you’re barely capable of talking, and you look gloomy and depressed all the time. I’m afraid to even think what I would see if I could look at myself from another perspective, like someone else’s point of view.

I’ve lost plenty of acquaintances , potential friends, who lost interest after a drink or two where the conversation dragged on my part.

[Christine]

I hear you, Edgar. Sometimes, I feel the same way. Usually, when I’m overtired I will avoid socializing because it’s just too draining. But the experts say you should not avoid these scenarios.

I’m almost 50 with a family. Friendships are important, but not as important as they would be if I were a bit younger. I have my trusty dog and cat by my side. What more do I need??

[Martin Reed]

Hello Christine. Although it is completely understandable why you would want to cancel meetings and rearrange your life around sleep, this is one of the worst things you can do if you want your sleep to improve.

That’s because when we rearrange our lives around sleep, we put far more importance on sleep than sleep deserves, and this also implies that we can somehow control sleep or compensate for poor sleep when we can’t.

In fact, the body does a great job of compensating for lost sleep by itself (more on that here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rhcwXPWEgw) and sleep usually only becomes a problem when we try to intervene.

In addition, when we cancel plans and stay home after a bad night of sleep, we only ever give our insomnia a bad outcome. We don’t give ourselves the opportunity to have a good day and recognize that the quality of our day isn’t always entirely dependent on the quality of our sleep.

Finally, when we stay home we are more likely to think (and worry) about sleep, be inactive (which actually increases fatigue), and even nap or try going to bed earlier — all things that make sleep more difficult.

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The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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