Lost Friendships due to Insomnia

This topic contains 5 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by Martin Reed 2 months ago.

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    ✘ Not a client

    I’m afraid due to my behavior of avoidance that I am going to lose some friendships. Because of the lack of motivation and tiredness, I cancel meetings and things. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

    Should I be open and honest with people and let them know what I’m going through?



    ✓ Client

    Absolutely Christine. Don’t try to carry this burden alone. Your true friends will understand and be supportive. Give them some credit. Everyone I told was completely understanding and have tried to support me in this. Try not to lose friendships over this. Even if you can’t get together as often as you used to, at least they will understand why.


    ✘ Not a client

    True friends will be compassionate and understanding. Often times they will offer support which can be quite comforting.



    ✘ Not a client

    In my experience – losing friends, real ones, of course not,  but gaining new friends – very hard. Who will give you a chance, talk to you when you’re barely capable of talking, and you look gloomy and depressed all the time. I’m afraid to even think what I would see if I could look at myself from another perspective, like someone else’s point of view.

    I’ve lost plenty of acquaintances , potential friends, who lost interest after a drink or two where the conversation dragged on my part.


    ✘ Not a client

    I hear you, Edgar. Sometimes, I feel the same way. Usually, when I’m overtired I will avoid socializing because it’s just too draining. But the experts say you should not avoid these scenarios.

    I’m almost 50 with a family. Friendships are important, but not as important as they would be if I were a bit younger. I have my trusty dog and cat by my side. What more do I need?🌼


    Martin Reed
    ★ Admin

    Hello Christine. Although it is completely understandable why you would want to cancel meetings and rearrange your life around sleep, this is one of the worst things you can do if you want your sleep to improve.

    That’s because when we rearrange our lives around sleep, we put far more importance on sleep than sleep deserves, and this also implies that we can somehow control sleep or compensate for poor sleep when we can’t.

    In fact, the body does a great job of compensating for lost sleep by itself (more on that here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rhcwXPWEgw) and sleep usually only becomes a problem when we try to intervene.

    In addition, when we cancel plans and stay home after a bad night of sleep, we only ever give our insomnia a bad outcome. We don’t give ourselves the opportunity to have a good day and recognize that the quality of our day isn’t always entirely dependent on the quality of our sleep.

    Finally, when we stay home we are more likely to think (and worry) about sleep, be inactive (which actually increases fatigue), and even nap or try going to bed earlier — all things that make sleep more difficult.

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