Mood shift

Feeling stuck in the insomnia struggle? Get the free insomnia sleep training course!

Viewing 10 posts - 1 through 10 (of 10 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #43846
    flight11
    ✘ Not a client

      Has anyone experienced what I have after a night of poor quality and quantity of sleep. The next day I am not only very tired but my MOOD is so filled with
      negative thoughts and emotions that I don’t even recognize myself.I stumble through the day trying to engage with life as much as possible (I am 70 years of age) as Martin often suggests should be done, but come night, I am so filled with despair that this often leads to another poor night. My anxiety from the day leads to poor sleep. Poor sleep leads to a poor day and so on..I tried to consolidate my poor sleep maintenance by carefully following Martin’s 8 week CBT I course . Unfortunately, my wake ups at 3 am continued and I found that the tight rules and small window increased my anxiety.
      I try to just let sleep happen since I know I can’t control it (as Chee often mentions), but these mood shifts during the day are so pronounced that it’s impossible to ignore what’s happening.Before insomnia (it’s been a year now) I was a fairly normal, balanced person.
      Does anyone have any suggestions?

      #43860
      Martin Reed
      ★ Admin

        I don’t believe you took my eight-week online insomnia coaching course — perhaps you are thinking of the free two-week insomnia sleep training course I offer?

        I think it’s normal to experience a low mood and uncomfortable thoughts and feelings after a difficult night — because the brain is hard-wired to do just that. Sometimes it’s our attempts to fight or avoid those thoughts and feelings that get us trapped in a struggle with them.

        You mentioned that poor sleep leads to a poor day. Does that mean you have absolutely no control over the quality of your day, and that 100% of how you feel during the day is completely connected to how you sleep at night, 100% of the time?

        I wonder if there might still be some things you can do, even when feeling low and filled with unpleasant thoughts and emotions, that might help you live your life in a way you want to live your life, and bring some positive or at least some OK moments to your days?

        If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Clarity program.

        The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

        #43885
        Chee2308
        ✓ Client

          Hello flight11
          Unfortunately the only way to not be bothered or intimidated by sleep thoughts anymore is ironically, having more of these thoughts! Ask yourself in another way: How does one get over the fear of anything? Well the most effective and recommmended treatment adopted by most psychologists is getting their patients accustomed to them through repeated exposures. And the normal human response in these cases is eventually becoming bored and fed up by it over time that they don’t seem scary anymore. And that’s how you recover! By not doing anything to escape or avoid it, you just get desensitized over time. The mindset will start shifting “oh no I need do x,y,z to escape this” to “you know what, I just can’t be bothered anymore” or “fine whatever, I just don’t care anymore, there’s nothing i can do!”.

          #44180
          whitelori
          ✘ Not a client

            Chee2308, it is very hard to desensitize when you feel so bad physically day in and out. I understand what flight11 is saying. I personally have done all the things to let it go, not care, just let it be what it will be, I can’t be bothered, acceptance that you look tired and people notice, etc., but when sleep quality still does not improve despite that mindset and doing healthy things as far as getting up the same time every day, how do you accept it then? I live life normally and am still here 30 years later, but the days are hard. Like having chronic pain. And a low mood and depression are difficult to ward off.

            #44182
            Chee2308
            ✓ Client

              I’m not belittling the pain or suffering but it CAN be done. Thousands if not millions of people have gotten over insomnia adopting a carefree attitude and the spirit of letting things be. If insomnia was so impossibly hard to overcome, everybody would still be insomniacs today and if insomnia had adverse health consequences, then people would die by the millions everyday since it’s “incurable”. And you said you’ve got it for over 30 years? Haven’t you already gotten used to it? Besides sleep is something that nobody ever has any control over so it is pointless and futile to be worrying over such things, it would be like worrying over your own breathing, whether you are getting enough oxygen, worrying about hunger, and whether you are getting enough nutrients to the exact proportions. Is there any point to be so obessesive about such things to the point of paranoia? What about just shrugging your shoulders and saying “I just can’t control sleep, nobody ever has” and completely giving up control whenever the worry or anxiety about sleep arises. Of course, I am talking about sleep related anxiety and the uncomfortable sensations that you may feel is somehow connected to bad nights. This means accepting the discomforts too because it is the only way to get out of it! Be accepting and optimistic instead of controlling, pessimistic, always doom and gloom. Of course, if your insomnia has other causes such as chronic pain, it makes sense to seek medical attention to address the underlying cause. Otherwise, insomnia is mainly just a mental issue developed as a result of a learned response to difficult nights that connects them to bad outcomes, which are often wrong and misconcepted, that keeps the insomnia ongoing.

              #44194
              whitelori
              ✘ Not a client

                Thank you. You’re right and I will try to do this way of thinking consistently. I am not used to it after 30 years, I just expect it will be this way as I’ve struggled so long. A racing mind is also an obstacle, not just the learned response. I find it very hard to calm it down even with all the techniques out there. The only thing that works very well is a benzodiazepine which of course are not a long term solution.

                #44196
                Chee2308
                ✓ Client

                  Hi whitelori
                  Don’t be so hard on yourself. Accept that bad nights happens even to normal sleepers so it’s not a big deal. It’s often the frustration with the process and impatience with how long it’s taking that makes it hard to see much progress. Deploy self kindness to yourself, accept that you are trying to control something that’s virtually impossible so it’s okay to be frustrated when you don’t see results immediately. Be patient, disciplined and love yourself for the things that you have often overlooked, like your resilence at how long you have struggled with insomnia but somehow still managed to get through the days, year after year! That wasn’t an easy feat! Other than that, try to keep your bedtimes consistent so your body knows its routine. Try to enjoy your wakeful hours the best you can. Instead of worrying and obessesing over sleep, make a list of things you really want to do but haven’t got the opportunity nor time to do so yet. Make your mornings enjoyable and something you look forward to. Accept that you are only human and it’s only natural to do what is humanly possible whilst enjoying yourself in your own meaningful way. I hope you find your joy and happiness in life. Best wishes!

                  #44213
                  whitelori
                  ✘ Not a client

                    Thank you Chee2308. This is very encouraging and kind. I will try! I wish the same to you as well.

                    #54213
                    cat_ncsu
                    ✘ Not a client

                      Chee2308, I just want to say I love your encouraging spirit! May we all find the joy and happiness that you exude!

                      #54232
                      Chee2308
                      ✓ Client

                        Thank you @cat_ncsu. I appreciate your kind comment.

                      Viewing 10 posts - 1 through 10 (of 10 total)

                      Get involved in this discussion! Log in or register now to have your say!


                      Want help from a caring sleep coach?

                      My name is Martin Reed and I am the founder of Insomnia Coach®. Enroll in my free sleep training course and start improving your sleep today.

                      • * Get 1 email every day for 2 weeks.
                      • * Learn how to improve your sleep.
                      • * Pay nothing (it's free).

                      Over 10,000 people have taken the course and 98% would recommend it to a friend. Your email address will not be shared or sold. You can unsubscribe at any time. Privacy policy.

                      Certified Health Education Specialist logo Certification in Clinical Sleep Health logo ACE-certified Health Coach logo