[eviancenita]

I have been experiencing insomnia for two years. I was able to get through 2020 with professional help with medications but I stopped it because of the fear of being drug dependent. Then I stumbled upon Insomnia Coach, enrolled in the free sleep training course and it helped me a lot. I experienced great sleep after it. Sure, there are still imperfect nights that I stay up late, but I was able to manage them. However, this new year, I was caught off guard and experienced one of the toughest and roughest nights of my life. Luckily, I was able to fell asleep past 4:00 AM. Then it was followed by another rough and tough night. I fell asleep past 3:00 AM. Now, my subconscious starting to build up frustration and anxiety in the back of my head that I will be able to experience it again, each day. And I can feel that my body starts to feel unwell because of a string of those rough and tough nights. This makes me unconsciously worry about it. Despite being equipped with Insomnia Coach resources, it feels like I’m not doing enough to get back to normal sleeping patterns (which I did for a couple of months already) 🙁

[Scott]

Hi @eviancenita –

Welcome to the forum and enrolling in the sleep course. What you’re experiencing isn’t uncommon! It can take time for a new sleep window to lead to consistent and noticeable improvements in your sleep and it’s not unusual for sleep to temporarily get worse at first. The beauty of these evidence-based techniques is that you can always use them even after your sleep issues are resolved. If you’re experiencing nights where you’re unable to fall asleep, are you utilizing stimulus control and getting out of bed to do something you enjoy? What time are you going to bed and what time are you getting out of bed to start your day? Keep in mind, the sleep you experienced while implementing these techniques is proof that you can sleep. Try to remain committed to the techniques from the course and I think you’ll continue to see results and benefits from it.

Hope that helps,
Scott J

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If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Clarity program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Chee2308]

Hello there
Temporary sleep disruption is very common, it can happen for many reasons such as being on holiday, being sick, getting excited over a new event in life like becoming a parent for the first time and everyone gets them. What’s different is your response to them that can perpetuate insomnia. Why is sleeping poorly temporarily causing such distress? Think back to the times you first experienced sleep problems and you got through it fine, didn’t you? So why is it such an issue now? Keep in mind you will be spending a third of your lifetime sleeping so having a temporary patch of sleep disruption is nothing compared to a lifetime of sleeping. There will be plenty for opportunities for sleeping later so why does it bother how you sleep now? Think about those times you slept badly and did they bother you as much as they did when you started sleeping great again ? Answer is no, because who cares what happened in the past, in a few weeks or months from now, when you sleep well again which most likely you will, because you did it before and no reason why sleeping well can’t happen again, these episodes won’t matter that much anymore. Keep praticising good sleep hygiene like sleeping and waking at regular times and having a positive, accepting attitude will ensure you are well on the way to sleeping well again. Human beings are meant to enjoy things in life not constantly worry about sleep so keep doing things you love and enjoy while sleep will take care of itself, just like breathing, eating and other biological processes which normal human beings pay no attention to.

[eviancenita]

Hello there, Scott! @scottctj

Thank you for your response to my post here in the forum. I really appreciate it. Yes, I’m implementing stimulus control whenever I can’t fall asleep. I get out of bed when I can’t sleep and spend time somewhere either reading articles or relaxing outside my room then go back once I get at least five (5) yawns, which is a signal for me that I’m sleepy enough to go back to bed. Then, if I still can’t sleep. I repeat the process until I can sleep. Also, I don’t use my bed for anything other than sleep and I try my best not to sleep anywhere other than my bed, especially on nights that I struggle with sleeping.

Would like to ask for a piece of advice, on these selective nights, what else I can do to stop my mind from racing? Because sometimes, even if I implement these techniques, my mind doesn’t stop racing endless thoughts. Thus, making it harder for me to fall asleep. This makes me unconsciously worry about it, especially if it happens often.

[eviancenita]

Hello there, Chee! @Chee Hiung Yong

Thank you for your response to my post here in the forum. I really appreciate it. Thank you for reassuring me that sleep will most likely happen, whatever the circumstance is and my body didn’t forget it totally because it’s a biological process that my system will never forget.

Yes, I’m committed to continuing to practice good sleep hygiene such as the things you mentioned above. I’d like to ask, what are other sleep hygienes you think I can implement to get better sleep and fast? Thank you.

[Chee2308]

Hello Evian!
I am a graduate of Martin’s course a few months back and I am back to sleeping normally again now. For me, I find not worrying about not sleeping is key to overcoming any anxious thoughts about not sleeping. I still get difficult nights and it just doesn’t bother me as much anymore. I just know if I take longer to fall asleep, then it must mean I am sleeping well and I am not being sleep deprived, which is a good sign. If I was sleep deprived, I would dive right into deep sleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Basically what is sleep? It is just a core biological process that happens after a person has been awake long enough, for normal human beings, that’s 16-18 hours then that person will naturally feel sleepy and goes to sleep for 6-8 hours. Think of it like breathing which is another core biological process. Will you feel suffocated if you didn’t breathe a certain way? Or do you obsess over how many inhalations or exhalations you make in a minute or in a day and make this your entire obsession for the entire day that you are awake? Well, no because you just let your body do all the work without any intervention from you at all. Sleep is like that exactly. It is effortless and self-regulating, because if you slept poorly one night, you will most likely make up for it the next night by being extremely sleepy earlier and this is your body’s way of prompting you to go to bed earlier because it wants to rest. This is the common problem for people with sleep problems and they are constantly obsessed about sleeping for all of their wakeful hours. You can have sleep thoughts and it is just that. Just a thought. Treat them like any other non sleep-related thoughts and thoughts have no bearing over your sleep ability or your sleep drive. I found also yawning is not a good indicator of sleepiness. People yawn all the time when they get bored but are not necessarily sleepy. True sleepiness is a struggle to stay awake, difficulty in focusing what you are reading or watching and difficulty in keeping your eyes open.

Why do you perceive not sleeping when in bed a threat? Is your life in immediate danger if you don’t sleep for one night? Well no. Not sleeping for one or two nights is not dangerous at all and normal people get it all the time. So be rational about it and you don’t have to believe
everything your mind is telling you. Accept these thoughts and acknowledge them but you don’t have to believe them. Tell yourself you will deal with any sleepless nights WHEN they happen and not before. Just know that you can sleep naturally and it will eventually come. And if you find yourself awake in bed, then be okay with lying awake in bed. Get comfy between the sheets and be thankful you still have a comfy bed to rest in and that you are well and alive and accept that you might not sleep and that’s okay because there will be endless opportunities to sleep again in future. Your quality of life is not determined by how you sleep in one single night. I found this useful phrase from Daniel Erichsen’s podcasts in youtube “When you no longer fear X , then X has no control over you”. X in this case is sleeplessness. Be friends with sleeplessness. Be kind and gentle to yourself during difficult nights. Practise self compassion to yourself, if a friend comes to you and tells you he can’t sleep, what would you say to him? Of course you would console him and tell him everything’s gonna be okay and not to be too hard on himself. So do exactly just that to yourself. You need just 2 things to sleeping well again, 1. Stay awake long enough. This usually means having regular sleep and wake times. 2. Have a positive and accepting attitude and being NATO (not attached to the outcome) , i.e., being okay with sleeping or not sleeping, either way is okay, it doesn’t matter anymore. And that’s it. Sleep is easy and simple, the easier you make it without doing a ton of sleep efforts in an attempt to sleep, the better you sleep!

[Martin Reed]

Welcome to the forum!

You asked about what you can do to stop your mind from racing — to be honest, I don’t think it’s usually helpful to try to suppress thinking or thoughts since that takes a lot of effort and just makes sleep more difficult.

Instead, it can be helpful to explore the thoughts you have. What kind of thoughts are you having that lead to that racing mind?

Thoughts are just thoughts! It’s our reaction to those thoughts — our relationship with those thoughts — that determines whether they lead to more arousal or not.

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Clarity program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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