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Hi everyone. I’ve been struggling for a couple years and am doing very poorly in terms of sleep and general health at this point. I’ve done CBT-i in the past successfully but cannot seem to experience success this time around. Looking forward to support.
I should add, my sleep window is 11:00-4:30. I cannot stay asleep until 4:30. I moved my window from 5:00 to 4:30 about a week ago to try to accommodate the early wakenings. I still wake up anywhere from 3-4 and cannot get back to sleep. I fall asleep just fine, very sleepy by 11:00. I’m so frustrated and I have hopeless thoughts during the day because I feel so tired and life has become joyless for me.
Hello AnnMarie and welcome to the forum. If CBT-I techniques worked for you in the past, they can work for you again!
If and when you wake sometime between 3:00 AM and 4:00 AM, why do you think you find it hard to fall asleep? Are you consistently getting out of bed to start your day by the end of your sleep window and avoiding sleep before the start of your sleep window?
What kind of activities do you pursue during the day? Are you keeping active?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I do wake up every night. I have not been consistent about getting up at the same time. However, I recently (5 days now), tightened my sleeping window by 30 minutes and still waking up at that same time. I do get out of bed if it feels like more than 15 minutes have passed. I have been strict about getting out of bed at 4:30 for these last 5 days. I do not go to bed before 11:00, at which time I have been sleepy enough to go to sleep pretty quickly.
I am so exhausted that I have not been very active during the day. I walk the dogs, do house chores, run errands. I have not been doing my workouts.
I think it is anxiety that is keeping me from falling back to sleep. I try to use strategies Ive been taught in my CBT-i sessions but I am not having much success. I’m so impacting by my lack of sleep that it’s really throwing me off. Thanks for responding.
How are you getting on, AnnMarie? Are you still observing that consistent sleep window and getting out of bed when you are struggling to fall back to sleep?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hi Martin. I am REALLY struggling to maintain my sleep window due to such high anxiety about my sleep. I do mostly observe my 11-5 sleep time. Sometimes I am laying on the couch once I get up because I feel so drained and tired. I know I am blocking my progress but truly feel at a loss to get my anxiety under control. It’s just awful.
There’s nothing wrong with lying on the couch when your sleep window ends, as long as you aren’t sleeping on the couch! Sometimes it can take a few weeks of consistent implementation before you notice improvements — the key to success is to stick with it!
You mentioned that you have high anxiety about sleep — what are the thoughts you have that generate this anxiety? When you feel anxious, what is going through your mind?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I think about things like, it’s not working; I’m never going to sleep well; why am I not seeing improvements; i can’t keep functioning on this small amount of sleep; frustration about being awake for so long…. I know I work myself up, and the struggle is in Trying not to do that to myself.
I try to practice breathing, imagery; positive self-talk…I’m struggling so much with it. I know sleep should not be taking up so much space in my head (even during the day) but I feel powerless to stop it. Not seeing any success with the sleep restriction is hard for me. The first time I went through this I was successful almost immediately so I know I expected that To be the case this time around as well.
Lots of great insight here! So it seems that a couple of the thoughts you have that generate anxiety include:
“I’m never going to sleep well”
“I can’t function on this little sleep”These thoughts can seem 100% correct when we think them, and that’s why they generate anxiety and worry. If either of these statements were facts, they would be very concerning indeed!
However, if we take a step back and evaluate them we can see that they aren’t all that accurate. When we can recognize this, we strip these thoughts of all their negative power.
So, what evidence is there to support the idea that you are never going to sleep well? How likely is it that you are never going to sleep well? Do you think that there might be a chance (even a small one) that, since others have gone through years — even decades of insomnia — and now sleep well, that perhaps you might be able to, as well?
For the second thought, again ask yourself what evidence is there to support the idea that you can’t function on such little sleep? Is there any evidence to refute that thought? You have lived with this little sleep for two years and are still functioning — so perhaps you can function on this little sleep. Can you think of any good days that followed a bad night of sleep? Maybe some OK days? Maybe even just some OK moments during the day? I suspect that, on reflection, you will know from experience that you can function on little sleep (although it is, of course, sometimes more difficult).
Remember that we are not trying to refute the thoughts you are having, we are just trying to evaluate them to see how accurate they actually are. Thoughts are just thoughts. They aren’t facts. It is our reaction to these thoughts that leads to worry and anxiety. When we take a step back and recognize the flaws in these thoughts, it often reduces the power of the worry and anxiety they can otherwise create.
Finally, it’s important to recognize that five days of sleep restriction is unlikely to immediately correct a problem that you have lived with for two years! Try to stay committed and give the techniques you are implementing more time to work. Most people will notice results within a few weeks. I have no reason to believe that you will not reach that point, too.
I hope this helps.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you so much for this important insight. I know everything you have said is true. My challenge is believing that in the moment when I’m awake at night. I am very grateful for your responses and suggestions. I’ll keep at it.
Martin, I also wanted to ask about dealing with the physical “symptoms” of insomnia. I feel sort of hungover every day. Headache, foggy head, pressure, nausea…. Generally feel sick all the time.
If you’re concerned about such physical symptoms, you should talk to your doctor. With that being said, we often do a lot more self-monitoring for the effects of a bad night and might notice or focus more on things we might otherwise have never noticed after a more satisfying night of sleep. More on that in this video, “If insomnia doesn’t cause any health problems why do you feel aches and pains after a bad night?”
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
What do you do for people like me who are ready to give up? I can’t get any more sleep than I am Currently getting in my sleep window. Less than 5 hours every night and it does not improve. I can’t function at work, can’t think straight, am depressed and sad all the time. I think about dying because I don’t want to live like this. Every single day and evenly act is a struggle. I’m tired of acting and pretending I’m okay when I am very much not okay and desperate for sleep. I have spoken with my doctor, tried all kinds of meds, and cannot take antidepressants. All pills have a negative effect on my sleep. I feel completely hopeless. I can’t even use positive self talk because I don’t believe it. I don’t see a way to get better sleep. I’ve never been so desperate for anything in my life.
AnnMarie I am going to give you something that I think will help you. I think it will help you because you have to change how to think to fix your issue IMHO. I will tell you what it is but you need to do the research and learn it and practice it. There is Tao·ism
/ˈtouˌizəm,ˈdouˌizəm/ a Chinese philosophy based on the writings of Lao-tzu ( fl. 6th century BC), advocating humility and religious piety. You need to not resist. Ask yourself, what would water do? Flowing like water is a metaphor for not minding what happens in the course of your day. Not minding when things don’t go right. Not minding when people are rude. Just being OK with what comes your way. When you study this enough and truly understand and can practice being like water, I think you will have won.Have you tried listening to any of the Insomnia Coach Podcast episodes AnnMarie?
I think that you will identify with many of the stories on there from people who had insomnia but are now sleeping better. If you recognize their struggle with insomnia as similar to yours and hear how they got their sleep back on track, it should hopefully give you some additional confidence that you can do the same.
Don’t give up!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
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