Sleep at last! – and a plug for doing mindfulness stuff.

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  • #30395
    goldenbayboy
    ✘ Not a client

      Wow, what a difference getting enough sleep makes to life. Thanks very much Martin for this website and for the course. I am getting to sleep even with hypo-jerks now. Still having the odd “bad” night but these are 5 hours sleep instead 0-2 and getting rarer. Reflecting back on what worked for me:

      • Understanding that I had a conditioned response to events that engaged the arousal system instead of going to sleep.
        Using the CBT approaches to deal with negative responses and replace them with different perspectives.
      • I should say that I used everything else except SR and trying to stay awake. I stick to good sleep hygiene because it reinforces the changed relationship with going to bed.

      Something that I ignored when Martin first talked about it was mindfulness training. Why? well firstly, I am a very absent-minded person which occasionally has hilarious/embarassing consequences of the take-rubbish-to-work:umbrella-by-post kind and I am tired of being got at by people who think I should be more mindfully present when I prefer the thinking time. Secondly, mindfulness exercises seemed to be aimed at “winding-down”, stop-worrying issues which are seldom my problem. However, a well-meaning friend (of the meditation and the right cup of tea will fix anything type) gave us a family Headspace subscription. I hadnt even looked at it, but after re-reading Martin’s advice, I gave it a try.

      I found it very helpful. Never mind the wind-down etc; the key skill being taught is noticing thinking and detaching from it. This is exactly what helps with suppressing the arousal system and helps to reinforce alternative perspectives.  It is no instant cure, but I think the exercises complement everything else and I would recommend trying it. The VA have a free CBT-I app with key exercises on it, but I found Headspace (even just the free beginners course) more helpful in guiding me on the skill the exercises were trying to teach. Your mileage may vary and I suspect any mindfulness exercises will help.

      I would note that I don’t do the mindfulness exercises in bed. I do them a chair before picking up my bedtime reading. Headspace does have an exercise for getting back to sleep if you wake up but I haven’t tried it.

      #30397
      Steve
      ✓ Client

        Congratulations goldenbayboy. I do have a question for you for clarification. You say the only thing you didn’t do is Sleep Restriction? How about Stimulus Control, where you get out of bed if you can’t fall asleep in 30 minutes after waking up?

        #30431
        goldenbayboy
        ✘ Not a client

          Short answer is yes. If I am in bed for while, then I start feeling pressure points and if I ask the dread question “what is comfortable position for my arms”, then discomfort wins. Getting out of bed to an armchair, wrapping in blanket and reading a few chapters of non-fiction in low light acts as reset – for the discomfort anyway.

          At first, getting in and out of bed several times at start of night seemed well, lame, but things did improve quickly. Just as well my wife sleeps deeply.

          Long answer is more complicated. I still have some nights where early sleep is very poor. I have got past worrying that I wont get to sleep, but it seems that I do sometimes enter a state between wake and sleep that doesnt feel like sleep. I must actually be sleeping because I realize I have been dreaming (though it seemed real) and time passes too fast. I seldom get up when this is happening. Typically I need a trip to loo after a few hours and when I came back, I go straight to proper restful sleep.

          I used to read in bed before settling down to sleep but now I read in a chair. That means I am not feeling any pressure points from already being in bed before settling to sleep. You dont want to being the night by tossing and turning. I think the “pressure point” stuff is largely a perception issue rather than a “you need a new bed”. I wake from sleep perfectly comfortable and relaxed.

          #30434
          Steve
          ✓ Client

            Okay. Thanks for the clarification. I’m glad you are sleeping better.

            #30464
            Martin Reed
            ★ Admin

              This is so good to hear — I really appreciate you taking the time to share this with us!

              If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Clarity program.

              The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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