[Kapleas2]

Hi! My name is Kaci, and I have been struggling with sleep onset insomnia for about 3 months now. It was triggered by a bad night of sleep after my 15mo daughter got sick in January/February (she is ALL better now). I am a control freak about my health and when I tried to control falling to sleep after that bad night, my insomnia became worse and worse. AND along with that, my anxiety went through the roof. Martin and his emails have helped me to understand that sleep is one thing you can’t control (as much as I want to), which has alleviated a bit of the anxiety related to sleep. I now do not obsess about sleep all day and wait until I am sleepy to go to bed. However, I am still working on things because my insomnia has not fully improved (still takes me awhile some nights to fall asleep). I would love any advice on how to redirect your mind when you get into bed to not think about sleep or falling asleep!

[Martin Reed]

Welcome to the forum, Kaci! I am glad to hear your daughter is better now. I think that you have recognized how “normal” your insomnia is — it started with a memorable event and has been perpetuated by your completely understandable reaction to that sleep disruption!

Putting effort into sleep and trying to control sleep actually makes sleep more difficult and this can lead to a lot of sleep-related worry and anxiety, which — in turn — can make sleep more difficult.

I’m so encouraged that you are no longer obsessing about sleep all day and that you are waiting until you are sleepy before going to bed!

When it comes to redirecting the mind when you get into bed, I don’t think it’s helpful to try suppressing thoughts or worries that might enter your mind. The very act of trying not to think about something makes it almost impossible not to think about that very thing! Trying to do this also takes a lot of mental energy and effort at a time when you want to be relaxing your mind to create the best conditions for sleep!

Sometimes it can be helpful to simply recognize thoughts for what they are — thoughts! Thoughts are just thoughts. Thoughts aren’t facts. And, ultimately, you get to decide how you respond to those thoughts. Will you simply recognize them as thoughts and allow them to enter your mind and leave your mind, or will you try to fight them, try to suppress them, and worry about what they might mean?

It can also be helpful to “shift” this worry/thinking time to the day by allotting 10 to 15 minutes during the day to allow yourself to worry and think all you want about whatever you want! With practice, your mind might learn to get most of its worrying and thinking done during that daytime period and this could lead to fewer thoughts and worries at night when you want to be sleeping!

Finally, sometimes thinking about something else can be helpful. Thinking about a TV show you are watching or a book you are reading and then imagining what might happen next might be something relaxing for your mind to focus on. Visualizations might be helpful, too — imagining yourself on a beach or in a forest and really exploring everything around you.

Whenever being in bed doesn’t feel good, that can be a good cue to get out of bed.

I hope this helps!

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The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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