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Day 20 of ACT Was super-exhausted yesterday, the worst I’ve ever been. Had planned to visit a friend and take a walk but couldn’t imagine driving. Probably wasn’t safe to either. Was a beautiful day too. Hate to waste these days like this. Tried to nap a couple times but couldn’t relax enough to fall asleep. By the evening, felt like I weighed a ton. Was so exhausted to the point of tears. When going to bed I couldn’t stand the thought of lying awake in bed. Knew I was too tired to practice any of the skills. Felt as if I got even an iota more tired, I would burst from the seams. So I had a drink and fell asleep right away. Unfortunately, again did not have a restful night of sleep. Woke up tired. Not sure if it was due to the drink, the over-exhaustion, the cumulative days of little sleep, or the underlying anxiety of struggling with this for over 5 months now. Maybe all of the above.
Sorry to hear it Deb. When you say you had a drink, I presume you mean an alcoholic drink? Did regular CBT-i help you out any? I don’t mind lying in bed if I can’t sleep because I can usually practice meditation exercises and then drift off to sleep, even if it take 30 minutes to an hour to do so. But last night was bad for me as well as I am trying to get off of melatonin. I laid there doing meditation exercises for 2 hours. I finally took the melatonin and fell asleep within 30 minutes. But still, that only gave me about 4 to 4 and a half hours sleep so I am tired today as well. Good luck to you.
CBI worked immediately for me. But for all 7 weeks I had 2 bad nights out of 7. So I slept well 5 nights and then bad 2. This did not change the whole 7 weeks. So my sleep was much better than it was before starting CBT, but from week 1 to 7 it didn’t change much. The whole time I felt like I was running away from my fears. Every night I had my white Russian, hoping I would fall asleep soon. Because I knew if I didn’t, then I would be up till 3:00 or so on the other 2 nights, which was horrible. The week after I finished CBT with Martin, I tried giving up my white Russians. Then I had 4 bad nights in a row. So I went back to having a drink every night. I know that my drink is like a sleeping pill, or your melatonin. I never depended on anything to sleep before the insomnia.
Anyway, a couple weeks before I finished the program with Martin I started reading The Sleep Book and became interested in trying this method instead because it deals directly with the anxiety that I was running away from. I hate being controlled by fear.
You might do well on CBT since you’ve found a way to help yourself get to sleep. Maybe I will try what you’re doing.
Deb, first, I commend you on how strong you’ve seemed to be through this awful world of Insomnia you’ve fallen into. However at this point I have to say I feel like I’m talking in circles when it comes to the drinking factor. You already know all my thoughts so I won’t repeat myself. It’s documented anywhere you look on the internet that alcohol before bedtime is a HUGE no no for sleep quality. I’ve experienced this personally many times throughout my 20’s after a night out partying. You need to stop. I guess that might be easier said than done at this point, but it’s one of many steps you need to take.
On another note, maybe it’s time to ween off or cut down on the whole ACT thing just a tad. Like SRT, don’t you feel like it’s making sleep more like a “Job”. You need to put your mind at east as much as possible. Even documenting each single day here might be a contributor to your mind and overall anxiety. So you put some ACT thoughts together around bedtime, and that’s that. No need to make a spectacle out of things. I learned that a while ago myself. The more we can try and act like normal sleepers, the better off we are IMHO. For example I used to have this rule where if I wasn’t falling asleep within 20 minutes I would get upset and get out of bed. Now days I go to bed (when exhausted of course) and just relax. I know sleep will come eventually. And guess what, 95% of the time I’m out within 30 minutes. It’s helped.
With regards to my night last night… Just another interesting note to continue to back up the fact that all this has to do with anxiety. So last night I had a legit migraine headache for the first time in years. It was frightening at some points. Couldn’t move my head in certain ways. Felt nauseous too. I went in my bed at 9:00pm as I felt like I could have died if I didn’t lay down. There was simply no alternative. Insomnia was the LAST thing on my mind as I laid comfortably on my pillow. Long story short, I slept 7.5 hours.
Deb and Mac. I am curious. What are your symptoms you feel after a bad night of sleep? I am weak all over, hard for me to concentrate and I tend to shake as well. I am trying to determine if the shakiness is due to lack of sleep or anxiety? I don’t want to go on pills for anxiety and I really believe the shakiness is due to the lack of sleep. Sometimes I get anxious at the thought of bed but a lot of times I look forward to getting into the warm bed in the dark of night. I just need more sleep.
Really no point in comparing this, Steve. So many people are different. I’ve had bad nights where I end up just completely shot unable to focus well, and I’ve had bad nights that had left me legitimately dizzy at some points throughout the next day which is the most horrific for me. All depends really.
Mac, do you take any pills or anything to help you sleep? Prescription or OTC? I take melatonin and magnesium. Other than those, I am at the mercy of whatever my body allows me to sleep that night.
I don’t take anything at all.
Whats your situation exactly Steve? How long has this been going on/what caused it, etc?
I had several stress issues starting back in October of last year. The wonder of it is, I never felt any stress. Not the shaking, panic attack kind anyway. I just woke up after only getting 4 hours sleep one night and it started to get worse as time went on until late January when I went four days on one hour’s sleep. I was really stressing about the insomnia at that point and my doctor tried to put me on anxiety medication. However, I had reactions to the drugs and couldn’t stay on them. Then they tried sleeping pills and benzos and they weren’t really effective either. I finally got off them and now only take the melatonin and magnesium. I am now back up to getting 4.5 to 5.5 hours of sleep a night, and I have kind of plateaued there. I am starting CBT-i with a counselor this Tuesday and I also ordered the ACT book written by Dr. Meadows as I was curious as to how it compared to CBT-i. That should be coming Wednesday. I am really not sure how good this counselor is but I will give him a try. If it isn’t working, I am considering Martin’s course.
I know I will have to start SRT soon but not looking forward to it as a lot of times, I can practice meditation in bed if I don’t fall asleep right away so I don’t see a need to get out of bed after 20 minutes if I can’t fall asleep. My problem right now is even if I do get to sleep in 15 to 60 minutes, I usually wake up several times during the night. I try not to watch the clock but when I do wake up, I tend to look at it because I am trying to accurately gauge how much sleep I am getting. My other problem is I will wake up an hour before the alarm goes off and then I become the clock watcher as I continually try to see how much time remains before I get up. I can’t remember the last time the alarm actually got me up.
There is so much you are doing wrong that I wouldn’t even know where to begin. Though I’m sure if you have been following this thread you already probably have a good idea.
Steve – Martin is very approachable. I’m sure that if after you meet with your counselor you would like to compare perspectives/approaches of your counselor with Martin’s you could email him and ask him. You do NOT want to waste your time with someone who doesn’t help you get better!
One other thought, Steve. When meeting with your counselor, find out what their methods are on dealing with your anxious thoughts and feelings and compare it to Guy Meadow’s methods and see what makes more sense to you. A lot of cognitive behavioral therapists emphasize replacing negative or fearful thoughts with more positive thoughts. I think this is not really helpful because although part of us wants to believe those positive thoughts, another part of us doesn’t really buy it. Guy Meadow’s approach is to accept all our thoughts and feelings, good and bad, and then uses techniques that help you let go of them or result in them going away on their own. I personally think that Guy’s approach makes a lot more sense. Just my 2 cents!
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