[Mac0908]

I know I sound like a broken record these days but just some interesting stuff… last night I made it to 11pm, didn’t crash until around 11:45pm though I’d say. A bit longer than usual for me.

Woke at 5:15am

Laid in bed and tried to relax/fall back asleep until 6amalarm

Total time in bed: 7 hours

Total time slept: 5.5 hours

 

Now, on Wednesday night I went to my bed at 10:15pmand didn’t leave it until around 6:15am

Slept 11:15pm to 4:30am or so

Total time in bed: 8 hours

Total time slept: 5.25 hours

 

Now you would think based on just time ASLEEP that I’d feel about the same today as I did yesterday, right?

 

Wrong.

 

While still shot today, I call tell you I do not feel as brutally shot and zombie like as I did yesterday.

Point of the story? The obvious: As Sasha Stephens said, he LESS time you spend in bed, the better quality of sleep you get.

So last night while I slept about the same amount as I did Wednesday night, the quality was better. The earlier I go to bed I’ve realized the more prone I am (not always, but more often than not) to waking up WAYYY too early, or simply not getting deeper sleep in general.

Here’s to going back to the basics a bit and keeping my time in bed to 7 hours maximum.

[delv-x]

Hi Mac,

Good observation. I’ve been limiting myself 7 hours each night and it works much better than giving me 8 or 9. Adding more to the beginning or end doesn’t make me sleep any longer and my day performance seems to be worse that way. Right now I have decent nights and some not so decent nights but give it a tough love approach. If I am not making the most out of 7 hours then why should I give it any more? My body will make it up the next night if it really needs it. If I feel tired and sleeping 90% of the time for a few weeks then sure Ill add more time but until then I am sticking with this because it’s consistent. I am sure Ill have rebound which I’ve had many times and expect to happen again soon but I believe what I am doing is the best and fastest way to slip back into a decent groove when it happens. My day time performance actually isn’t that bad lately most of the time. I do get waves of tiredness but it passes and in the evenings now I am not that tired and watching the clock every minute for bedtime.

 

[Deb]

<b></b>Day 19 of ACT Yesterday was a zombie all day after sleeping maybe 2-3 hours the night before. Had to take a late afternoon nap to make it through the evening. But I had no anxiety at all about going to bed. I’m getting used to accepting whatever happens and not worrying. Couldn’t fall asleep for quite a while though – maybe a couple hours – but just laid there until I finally did fall asleep. Didn’t struggle with the fact that I couldn’t sleep. My guess is maybe I got 5 hours of sleep. Not well rested today, but decent. Much better than being a zombie like yesterday.

[Mac0908]

Deb, as always please don’t take this the wrong way, especially since any negativity can be detrimental to these forums, but, I’m just curious, and I’m just trying to help.. Reading your updates day after day (sadly the same can probably be said about mine too though) it just seems like you are going in circles to me. Bad night here, good night there, ok night here, etc etc etc. At this point now some 3 months(?) into your version of sleep therapies, do you honestly feel like you are making any LEGITIMATE progress, most notable with ACT? I’ve said it before and I’ll said it one more time, while ACT can be a good “tool” to use on the side, my thoughts are that SRT is the only thing that can truly kickstart healing chronic insomnia.

[Deb]

Yes I do feel like I’m making progress with ACT. It’s been 3 months since I started any therapy but just under 3 weeks of ACT. So that’s where I’m measuring my progress. My anxiety has gone way down. It only shot up the other day when thinking about doing SR. Otherwise, for the most part, the fear of going to bed is gone.

[dragon]

I think really that’s the first step.  If that fear/anxiety is gone or reduced that is the starting point.

[Deb]

Yes, that’s right, Dragon. The idea is that the anxiety is reduced first and then over time better sleep will emerge naturally. I already feel more natural in bed like I used to. Before it felt like I had forgotten how to fall asleep. Now I’ve remembered and it feels more normal/natural even if I have to lay there in bed for awhile before I fall asleep.

[dragon]

Yeah honestly I would love to be able to get to that point again.  But yeah maybe Mac is right in that I have to do the SRT first.

[Mac0908]

I reached that point too Deb where once I used to be all anxious if I didn’t fall asleep within 20 minutes but now I can lay there for 30-40 minutes rather calm. The harsh reality is though imo (and I’ve learned this through much trial and error), is that that the longer we lay in bed not asleep I feel like the overall quality of the sleep will go down.

Like the very basic method in all of this goes… if you simply can’t fall asleep, get out of bed. While I lay there not very anxious at all anymore and still very tired, I know in the back of my mind that the more I DO lay there each night not able to sleep for lets say up to 40 minutes, the more it will impact the brain/bed sleep connection overall.

[Deb]

Maybe yes, maybe no. I did SR for 8 weeks and always felt like I was keeping the anxiety/fear at bay. On average I would sleep well 5 days a week and have 2 bad nights. On the 5 good nights I felt I was keeping the fear at bay and through exhaustion (and a white Russian) I would fall asleep fairly quickly. But the fear was always there lurking in the corner of my mind and I would hope that I’d fall asleep before the fear crept in to ruin my night. The other 2 days it managed to get in and take over. I hated being controlled by fear so that’s why I became so interested in ACT.

[Mac0908]

Yeah I hear that. SRT can definitely be a good “reminder” of your problem. Even last night when I pushed my bedtime to 11 for the first time in a while. What do you think happened? All the thoughts of me still being a chronic insomniac came back. Not as hard as they used to be, but they definitely flooded my head a bit as I continued to look at the clock before I got closer to 11.

while I know SRT can help me again at least in the short term, as far as the long term goes I’m feeling lost

[Deb]

ACT requires a huge leap of faith. We have to completely surrender in order for it to work. Actually that’s what regular sleeper do every night, but we take it for granted because that’s how it always was. But to get back to that place requires placing total trust in “letting go.”

[Deb]

Day 20 of ACT Had a rough night, not falling asleep until sometime after 4:00 and only getting 2-3 hours of sleep. I’m a zombie today. To be brutally honest, I did this to myself. I haven’t been able to let go of my crutch of my white Russian before going to bed. But two nights ago when I offered one to my husband, he said no and when I asked him why, he said that he doesn’t sleep deeply when he has something to drink before bed. I never noticed any problem with this for myself. When I did SR before, most of the time I had one and slept fine. But lately with this batch of shallow sleep, I figured if there’s any possibility that this is contributing to it, I better give it up. Also, I really don’t like the idea of being dependent on something to help me sleep. I want to fall to sleep naturally like I alway did before.

Anyway, it’s been hard to give up my security blanket. But I finally did it the night before last. That night I couldn’t fall asleep for at least for a couple hours. And last night it was over 4 hours. This is especially hard after recently having days of falling asleep within 15 minutes. But I knew this would probably happen. Hopefully it’s just a blip and things will get better soon as I get used to going without it. And I really hope that when I do sleep, it will be deep and refreshing sleep instead of waking up after 8 hours and feeling like a dog.

[Steve]

Good luck to you Deb. I really can’t wait for my ACT book to come. I figure I can read it while I am waiting for my bedtime to come. Right now, I haven’t been getting out of bed if I can’t fall asleep in 20 minutes. If I can’t fall asleep right away, I just keep doing my meditation exercises. (Mostly breathing and focusing on that.) Slowly, I will start to relax under the warm blankets and I will drift off to sleep. Sometimes this is 15 to 20 minutes and sometimes it seems to be an hour. Hard to really say as I try not to clockwatch. My real problem right now is the waking up. I feel if I can stop that, I’ll be in good shape. I guess I am getting better in some ways as in January, I couldn’t fall asleep hardly at all. Now I am falling asleep (eventually), but continue to keep waking up.

[Deb]

Sounds like you’re off to a good start, Steve. I have no problem with waking up too early, just going to sleep.

[Author]

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