stimulus control

[turtlestamp✘ Not a client]

Anytime ! Even though it was 2+ years ago for me, I still remember the feeling of desperation, I’m sure I’ll never forget. Rest assured, you will get past this, just accept it’s going to take some time.

In terms of those resources, here’s another attempt to include those links:
– Search for “The Sleep Coach School” on youtube – you will see a channel with that name
– Search for “Insomnia Coach” on youtube – you will see a channel with that name

I mentioned books, you can just search insomnia online but I found the following to be the best by far for me personally (it has a more ACT slant, but it touches on everything):
– The Sleep Book: How to Sleep Well Every Night: Written by Dr Guy Meadows
– Both the youtube channels authors (one being the host of this forum), and the author of the book above provide paid “coaching” services and/or paid apps. For many people this has worked wonders so always consider that an option as well

Just to complete the train of thought –
– You need to progress through the steps, if you feel you’re at an earlier step, I’d start consuming whatever education you can about insomnia and CBT and ACT (there is tons above and on this forum).

The ironic / sad part about those aforementioned steps, you can see for me (and I see this in most) the eventual step is to stop spending as much time thinking / researching about sleep regardless of how well you’re sleeping. So you may ask, can I just jump to that step ? 🙂 You can try.

But, this did not work for me, at the time I was in the thick of it I had read similar things (and folks telling me to just try to ignore it), essentially everything you read, be it CBT/ACT/… has the same end goal, remove the built up anxiety in your mind about sleep. But until you go through the process of educating yourself you cannot simply “switch” off that anxiety.

So a few more quick tips
– If your lying in bed, not sleeping, and you start to panic and/or have severe anxiety, do change things up (whether it’s leaving the bedroom, or staying in the bedroom and doing something else … what this is will be personal e.g. read if you like, watch tv, go for a walk, whatever, … but it needs to be something that you enjoy … don’t force yourself to do something others suggest that you don’t enjoy {e.g. for me I started by forcing my self to read in low light} …)
— Just a little continuation, people will suggest reading because it’s not very active and can be done in low light … sure I get that … but we have so much anxiety built up in our minds … we should do whatever brings comfort, even if that’s in full light 🙂 … most importantly … the goal of whatever you are doing is NOT to sleep, or build sleep drive, it’s to bring comfort. A term you’ll hear a lot is “befriending wakefulness”, this really resonated with me …
– Read / watch the insomnia success, they are very comforting and you’ll take things from them
– Try to do your best to get on with the day even if you got no sleep (i.e. if you like to exercise, still do this, even if you can’t do things 100% as you would typically)
– Extreme anxiety (which is what we have) can manifest physically, if you feel off physically it is very likely due to anxiety it self (I feel the need to insert the typica “this is not medical advice” verbiage here, if you feel really off, do go to your doctor, but I can say personally, I felt really off physically in many different ways, and it was all 100% due to the anxiety)

Last thing, I’ve said this a few times but it’s worth repeating. This is going to take time to fix/heal – too the point that you will eventually start sleeping better, you may think you’re past this, but you’ll have relapses, you’ll still feel off … all of this is completely ok … accepting this will help accelerate this process.

If you have any questions just ask !

[Robb✘ Not a client]

Thank you for the insight, I understand about feeling off and finally figured out that it was due to the anxiety. Never had any of the issues before until the anxiety kicked in because of not getting any sleep. It’s kind of funny, that before this I just went to sleep, when and where I wanted and now I have this ritual that I do before I go to bed, I watch the clock thinking that I have to do this or that before it time to go to bed. Thinking about this as I type, I know this adds to my bedtime anxiety so I need to stop and try the things that you have outlined so well!! I really like the part about researching sleep because that is exactly what I am doing, looking for that fix/cure.

[cat_ncsu✘ Not a client]

These stories, especially the “steps” from turtlestamp are super helpful!! I too have shifted more to ACT than CBTi. The latter ultimately triggers my anxiety. I’d love to hear more, turtlestamp! I am familiar (A LOT!) with the youtube channels. But Befriending wakefulness seems impossible for me right now. I am REALLY struggling with acceptance. Maybe that will come…and I guess it has once in a while. I can listen, read, watch, etc., but always in the back of my mind or coming frequently is the worry, the self monitoring, the desperation to be asleep again.

[Robb✘ Not a client]

Hi TurtleStamp,
Hope you are doing well; I have been trying to befriend wakefulness. as I have had a few rough nights. I took your advice and watch a lot of those YouTube videos of people that are sleeping a lot better, and it does give you hope as I tend to think that mine is the worst case. I think it’s about time I start making some progress and maybe get a little assistance like you suggested, just wanted to say thanks again for reaching out when you really didn’t have to. I have read your replies a few times just to make sure there was nothing a missed.

Thank You !!!

[xbi✘ Not a client]

Hi, I was going thru menopause last yr with interrupted sleep, and somewhere developed into insomnia.
my problem is now entirely mental, as I can go days sleep reasonable well w/o doing any thing ie no sleep restriction and stimulus control.
But then there are days i couldnt sleep well.

Now my problem is falling into sleep – i can go hrs w/o able to fall into sleep, or fall into sleep very lightly then wake up in 30mins.

I tried a bit of sleep restriction, but it just sends my anxiety even higher – i go to bed very sleepy day 1am, but still cant fall into sleep.

Any advice? thanks.

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