[turtlestamp]

While I’m still fairly early in my journey I wanted to share a recent revelation I’ve had in hopes it would be helpful to others (as so many posts on this forum have been to me).

I know what it’s like, you’ve likely read the majority of this forum, watched countless videos on youtube about cbti and act-i, likely purchased and thoroughly read various books (e.g. say good night to insomnia, the sleep book, …). At some point, you know all you need to know, but do you stop ? If you’re like me you probably don’t, you keep researching, I can honestly say, a good 60-90% of my day was spent on insomnia in some form or another.

There were days I slept decently (for me, at this stage, if I get 4-5 hours, I’m happy) and feel decently the day after, yet I repeat this pattern of research. I tell myself, it’s ok, I’m not anxious, I’m just learning about insomnia.

Recently I came to a conclusion even if I’m calm and doing this from a seemingly good place, there is a fairly direct correlation to my nights sleep and how much time I spent researching. So for the last few days I’ve all but stopped (with a few exceptions below) and my sleep is improving.

I wanted to shared some tips/advice:

1) The initial research you do is crucial, while this may sound counterintuitive to everything I stated above, if you’re not armed with the tools, and have the mindset to handle the difficult nights you will not succeed. As a concrete example, prior to starting my journey here, I was on medicine (low dose trazadone), I haven’t been taking it for long but didn’t want to take it anymore so I stopped. I had a few great days, I slept fairly decently, everything felt normal, I figured I was Ok. Then, you can guess what happened, a terrible night (for me it’s a sleep onset problem and I do frequently get nil nights, and that’s what happened), I was devastated the day after, emotionally that is, I thought all was lost, and I would never be able to move past my sleeping issues. It’s only at this point I started down the research path with CBT and ACT.

You need this background and education to handle these nights, they will happen, the road to recovery is not a straight, far from it. If you’re not equipped to handle this, both physically (e.g. be it sleep restriction or stimulus control) and mentally (e.g. cbti / acti techniques) you’ll struggle.

2) Once you’ve done this research, make it a goal to reduce the amount of time you spend a day on insomnia, this is in itself a journey. If you’re like me you find this research comforting, it becomes part of you, but I strongly feel insomnia feeds off the amount of time you spend on it (whether you feel relaxed doing so or not).

2A) If you’re going to research, do it in the morning, the worst time to do it is before bed. The only exception to this is, consider having a success story or the like prepared for when you’re practicing stimulus control and are getting out of bed at night and feeling anxious, I find these stories (e.g. on these forums or in youtube videos) greatly reassuring.

3) Practice mindfulness or other techniques anytime but make them about anything other then sleep. I struggled with a lot of mindfulness initially as it wasn’t anything I really believed in, I still do, but have concluded it does indeed help (a lot of ACT practices in particular), as long as you make them not about sleep directly. Feel free to use them to help with sleep anxiousness if you’re suffering that, but only when you are.

4) While this will be ironic, be careful with forums (this one or the many others). While they are immensely helpful I suspect for many, certain posts/threads/topics can be hugely proking of sleep anxiety. Personally, I found that initially it was very helpful to see many others are going through the same thing (you are not alone), particularly when you find a story that’s very similar to yours, but after that point, it’s a slippery slope, there have been particular topics I’ve read that vastly increased my anxiety for several days at a time and sent me down a rabbit hole and yet more research.

What is amazing about this forum though is there is a dedicated “Insomnia Success Stories” section, if I were doing things again I would attempt to force myself to stick to these posts initially. I’m intentionally not posting this there as 1) I don’t consider my story a success yet, I’m still on the journey and 2) more importantly I hope this helps others just starting their journey.

[Jaran]

Turtlestamp, I loved this post. I too am a “researcher.” (I had not heard of ACT-I, so of course immediately I had to go read-up on it!) But I have been thinking about your very topic.

When I first decided I had to do *something* different, like you, I spent a good deal of my days researching. The most helpful thing at first was a 90 minute round-table discussion on youtube with Martin Reed and two other sleep therapists. From there, I was off and running. I did the free two-week emails from Martin, kept a fairly detailed sleep diary, and spent a lot of time reading online and watching videos online.

What I haven’t done yet is read a good book on insomnia, rather surprising since I’m a reader. But, I tend to read mostly at night, and I’ve been thinking that reading on insomnia at the same time I’m trying to free myself from insomnia may not be helpful. If I do decide to read books, are the two you mentioned both worthwhile?

I’ve only been on this forum for a few days, but having spent some time at night on the forum, I quickly realized that’s a bad idea. Someone here compared insomnia to a bully. The less attention paid to it the more likely it is to leave you alone.

[turtlestamp]

Hey @Jaran ! Great to hear from you. Your initial journey was uncanningly similar to mine, including the exact youtube video you cited (which I agree is great) and the 2 week program 😉 But then again, I suspect many go down this very path.

Let me answer your question on those books first; I’ve read them both fairly thoroughly and more books/articles/videos I didn’t mention. Honestly, given the amount of research I suspect you put into the subject you probably don’t need the books at all but let me make a few generic comments on the majority of the books on the subject, as they all go something like this (though not all in this order):

1) Introduction to the authors history with the subject

2) Background on sleep (to varying degrees of technicality), for example, the different stages, why it’s important, why the amount of sleep is not as important as often cited, history of sleeping pills, academic research in the area (or lack thereof) so on …

3) Some content (again to varying degrees) on sleep hygiene, to name a few examples; bedroom temperature, light, diet, …
– A note on this, everything you will read you will have heard before, there will be nothing new or interesting here … but that’s harmless …

4) Some content on the mental side of the equation, this is where the approach varies (though, at least in my opinion, to a lesser degree than most make out) depending on whether the book leans toward cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT).

5) Some content on the physical side of the equation, for example sleep restriction and stimulus control, tracking sleep (e.g. sleep diaries) often books that tend to promote ACT put a smaller emphasis on this.

So you can see after you’ve read one, there is a very large element of diminishing returns as you read more. I’m not going to recommend one book over the other as they both have there place and are interesting reads; What I’ll say is “say good night to insomnia” leans toward the CBT approach whereas the “the sleep book” is heavily ACT based. Also, be careful picking up a book with the mindset “this one will solve all my problems”, particularly given the amount of research you’ve done, there will only be so much new content.

The one thing I’ll say though is if you feel the need to research (which I completely get given my first post : – ), in many ways I’d strongly recommend reading a book (any of them, and multiple of them if need be) over reading forums or the like. Like you, I often did just this late at night and while many posts and stories are greatly helpful others are very much the opposite (at no fault of the author at all, we’re all just trying to get help and help others). I wonder if this story will be familiar; I’ll start reading posts / topics on the many message forums on the topic and at first they will be very reassuring and in fact help me relax, but then I’ll come across a post (someone’s situation, something someone fears, something someone is trying) that starts to cause immense anxiety.

You’ll probably be told if you’re practicing stimulus control (i.e. getting out of bed due to a lack of sleep and anxiety) do something you find fun/relaxing, but I know this is so much easier said than done, so this is where a book / success story is much more appropriate.

My personal story on ACT/CBT; I found the concepts of ACT fascinating and was drawn to them, and I tried initially, but I don’t think I was ready 🙂 … the “physical” elements of CBTi (i.e. sleep restriction and stimulus control) are easy to understand and follow (not to say they are easy to implement ), even the mental element (i.e. challenging, altering thoughts) as well.

I feel people who start with CBTi and manage to increase their sleep confidence (which is the key at the end of the day) unknowingly start incorporating elements of ACTi whether they’ve heard of them or not naturally 🙂 … to be clear this is my very uneducated take on the matter but what I’ve seen through endless forum posts and success stories.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by turtlestamp.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by turtlestamp.

[Hbhigg]

Hi turtlestamp
This is a great post, I too read too many forum posts not only on insomnia but also anxiety.
I am definitely going to stop this, as I also see it as counterproductive.
Congratulations on your success so far.

[turtlestamp]

Thanks a lot @Hbhigg ! Exactly, once you’ve done your research you know what to do 🙂 I still enjoy and take comfort in the success stories though on the bad days and find they help with anxiety.

Wishing you all the best.

[Author]

Posts