Struggling And Could Use Advice!

Insomnia Forum Insomnia Help Struggling And Could Use Advice!

Want some expert advice to improve your sleep? Get the free insomnia sleep training course!

This topic contains 9 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by sleepygirl 3 months, 2 weeks ago.

Viewing 10 posts - 1 through 10 (of 10 total)
  • Author
  • #50053

    ✘ Not a client

    Hi There. I have been struggling with insomnia for 9 months with periods of improvement and then things getting worse. My biggest problem is my thoughts. I do not struggle usually to fall asleep but then wake up early and have difficulty falling back asleep. I have been trying getting out of bed, reading, meditating but I’m still unable to calm my anxiety down and fall back to sleep. I try telling myself it’s okay, let sleep come to you, you will fall back asleep but it just doesn’t happen. Would SO APPRECIATE any specific advice for how to calm myself down and fall back asleep. Thank you!!


    ✘ Not a client

    Well the simple advice is do nothing because when you obsess you just give anxiety the fuel it needs to survive. I know that’s a frustrating answer so I’m going to recommend CBT-I with Martin or seeking a counselor to talk to. I had another bout over the Christmas break but once I got back to work it kept me focusd on other things. Try to go to bed thinking about other things that bring you joy. Visualization can help. Picture yourself somewhere relaxing, like a beach or beautiful waterfall. Think of each night as a fun adventure; let yourself want to have dreams where you can go anywhere. Don’t go to bed with the intention of sleeping but to rest. This helped me. Once you stop trying to control sleep it’ll come. No one has ever died from insomnia. It will always sort itself out. I’ve used the Calm and Headspace apps, but they do cost money. CBT-I all the way because it will give you techniques so you will eventually stop caring about sleep.


    ✘ Not a client

    Thanks Mel. Last night I woke up at 5 after being asleep for only 4 hours. I got out of bed and read on the couch, tried visualizations, told myself that it’s OK and to let sleep come to me, but I STILL couldn’t get my anxiety to calm down. Anyone have any advice? I know logically what I need to do but I can’t get my brain to get on board 🙁



    To elaborate some on @melh89 response. Thoughts are simply that – just thoughts, words in our head. They come and go all day and night and most of them are very unhelpful. Since we’re not able to really control our thoughts, have you considered changing your relationship you have with them or how you approach them when they arrive? For example, when you experience a “what if” thought – “what if I don’t sleep tonight?” – instead of implementing tactics to avoid or chase off the thought, how about embrace it with “Oh, there’s that thought about my sleep again” and then re-engage in the activity you in when it arrived. Thoughts don’t hurt us, but our actions towards them can. Modify how you manage them when they arrive and I think you’ll see they begin to lessen their sting.

    Hope that helps,
    Scott J

    The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

    ✘ Not a client

    Hello! Our brain works in reverse. When you tell him “it’s okay ” “let’s go back to sleep” and “let sleep come to you” he will do the exact opposite and keep you more awake. It’s called paradoxical intention. I leave here two links for your research.

    The main problem with insomnia is our thoughts. Here on the forum there is a topic about ACT for insomnia. It helped me a lot to see other approaches to anxiety and the uncontrollable thoughts that so damage life and sleep. Good luck!


    ✘ Not a client

    thank you! I will try all of this. I have barely slept in 2 days and I’m just exhausted and upset and scared I will never overcome this. It’s so hard to not be scared of not sleeping when you’re so tired and want to feel well rested so badly! I struggle with how to just “not care if you sleep” when I feel so awful during the day.


    ✘ Not a client

    I would suggest doing an experiment where you do a lot of physical activity during the day. Fairly strenuous and several times throughout the day. Could be gardening. Going for a several hour strenous hike. Anything that’s both aerobic and also works your muscles.

    This will almost certainly put you in a good night’s sleep the first night or two after you do it. The question is whether or not it will last. In other words if you keep doing the activity every day will you continue to have good night’s sleep every night.

    In my case, it doesn’t last for whatever reason. It only lasts for a few nights and then I’m back to a pattern of poor sleep. But everyone is different, so a regular regime of physical activity for you would be worth testing out.

    And if that doesn’t work, then there’s other things to test.


    ✘ Not a client

    I’m really upset. Yesterday I woke up super early but was able to calm down and fall back asleep. I felt so much more optimistic and well rested and thought things would be ok. Then last night I woke up early and was totally panicked and couldn’t sleep at all and now I feel so pessimistic and that this will never go away. I have been trying so hard and nothing is working. I just feel so tired all day and it’s so hard. 🙁


    ✘ Not a client

    Have you tried the physical activity/exercise suggestion that I made, or any other suggestions you might have received from people?


    ✘ Not a client

    yes, I did a long workout yesterday and have been trying the thoughts approaches but it’s so hard to implement when you wake up and it’s total darkness and you just stay awake 🙁 the workout helps me go to sleep but not stay asleep

Viewing 10 posts - 1 through 10 (of 10 total)

Get involved in this discussion! Log in or register now to have your say!

Want help from an expert sleep coach?

My name is Martin Reed and I am the founder of Insomnia Coach®. Enroll in my free sleep training course and get better sleep.

  • * Get one email every day for two weeks.
  • * Follow my advice and your sleep will improve.
  • * Learn the mistakes you’re making that are ruining your sleep.
  • * 97% of subscribers say they would recommend the course to a friend.
  • * Your email address will not be shared or sold. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Learn more about my free sleep training for insomnia or get started right now:

Certified Health Education Specialist logo Certification in Clinical Sleep Health logo ACE-certified Health Coach logo BBB Accredited Business