[Michaelc]

Hi everyone,
About 6 months ago, I took Martin’s free email course and found it succinct and very useful.
I have had to be honest dehabilitating insomnia for 40 years (am 64) all began with emigrating to Oz from South Africa at 25 yrs old when I began to have absolutely sleepless nights)) and still struggling more so as I get older.
In short my problem is this”
I sleep from about 10 to 2/3 am.4 to 5 hours.
I feel fine with that.Most times I relax for a bit,sometimes try sleep a little more and get out of bed around 3.45 or 4.
I’ve improved a lot in my thinking re going to bed at exactly 10.If i am a little late or early or come home late,I dont let it worry me like it used to.And other small things or disturbances like a small argument, or a light left on in the passage,etc etc I’ve worked hard to just ignore them.
However ONE bad night where for whatever reason,where perhaps I let one of the above things upset me, or something else happenned at work and I cant fall asleep while trying to stay calm becomes sleepless night no 1.After all my wake up time is about 2 and it is not that long befire it gets to 2.
After sleepless night no.1, I’m okay the next day, but from my history, and also I feel ” something “has changed in my brain,I believe that I won’t fall asleep the second night,and true enough,my sleep urge has dissappeared and although I try stay calm I just cant fall asleep night no 2.Totally awake the whole night.
Ditto night no 3 and ditto no.4. now only 3 or 4 days in say 3 months of success has destroyed me.
By now my muscles in my arms and legs are “hollowing”,I can barely go to work or talk to people.
NOW what to do.Desperate for help.
Either to my supply of Ambien ,take 10mg for a few nights,try drop to 5 and try transition to nought.Firstly I feel terrible even with the Ambien, but I can function,but worse ,
from experience I know that that transition often does not work out and I will be sleepless again after stopping.
Or I have an homeopathic doctor and her little pills have to my surprise helped,but not always.
And I risk a fifth or 6th sleepless night.But when they do work, its a natural sleep, I get my confidence back and I invariably start a new good cycle.
So basically my problem is this terrible sleepless cycle of 3 to 6 days,so destructive ,dehabilitating and demoralising and I dont know how to keep it at only one night rather,because it seems my brain HAS changed after the one first night, and secondly getting out of it with pills is not turning me back to normal sleep.

[Martin Reed]

That sounds really difficult. It sounds as though your experience is telling you that sleep is, ultimately, out of your control. You can set the stage for sleep but, beyond that, there’s nothing you can do to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen.

Fortunately, you always get to choose how you approach each night, how you respond to insomnia, how you respond to any difficult thoughts and feelings that often show up with insomnia, and what you do each day.

And, how you respond can often determine your level of struggle and/or how much power and influence all this difficult stuff has over your life.

What, specifically, are you looking to achieve here? What specific advice are you looking for? What is your primary goal?

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Michaelc]

I would like to avoid having that first totally sleepless night .
If I do have one, then I would like to stop the cycle in its tracks
and not repeat itself the next night, and escalate into 3,4,5 etc .(After one sleepless night, my sleepiness seems to dissappear like it has been “dislocated”(like a shoulder gets dislocated), my mind also feels different, and I become convinced and resigned that I am going into a new cycle).
I would like to undo these feelings, the anxiety , the “new” state of mind and just be confident the next night)(however ,factually,historically ,that first bad night has invariably precipitated a new cycle ).
After having 2 or 3 or 4 sleepless nights in a row, I feel terrible and hopeless. There does not seem any logical reason why the following night can be any different.

I guess I am still not answering your question satisfactorily, but in a nutshell I need a new strategy somehow not let that first sleepless night turn into two and three and four, the next time it happens.

[Martin Reed]

It makes complete sense that you want to avoid having that first totally sleepless night (and your experience tells you that you cannot make sleep happen through effort).

It makes complete sense that you want to get rid of anxiety (and your experience tells you that the more you try to fight or avoid anxiety the more powerful and influential it becomes).

Thanks to your superpowers of self-awareness and self-reflection, you’ve identified that you need a new strategy. What might that look like, based on what you’ve learned on your journey so far?

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

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