[Tim]

My sleep issues began in January 2023. I was 61 years old and in great health. As with many, what seemed like a rather benign event turned into the insomnia bully which consumed all my waking thoughts for a period of time. Basically, all the event was is I began work a half hour earlier than normal. I usually got up at 4:30 but would have to start getting up a bit earlier. Was also experiencing marital issues which eventually led to divorce. I had always been very rigid about sleep believing I had to get 7 hours every night. I had also just listened to a pod cast where the guest essentially said if you were getting 6 hours or less a night you were going to die.

Things escalated quickly and I was waking up to panic attacks. My thoughts in bed led to some pretty dark stuff, thoughts which the bully insomnia would love to whisper in my ear at 1:00 a.m. Just like everyone, in order to cope and compensate, I started going to bed earlier, taking all kinds of medications and eventually ended up in the ER early one morning. I eventually saw my Doctor and he did what medical professionals do through no fault of his own. He put me on anti-anxiety meds prescribed sleep medication but also suggested counseling. I was hyper vigilant for things which would cure me. For example, I ate a banana with peanut butter one night, slept well then of course that was the cure, until it wasn’t.

Eventually, through my endless sleep research, came across Martin’s program and some videos on You Tube. The education I received through the You Tube vids was eye opening and a real-life saver. I eventually enrolled in the free course. Things progressed nicely, sleep got back on track and after a couple months came off of all medications. May-Nov seemed to go well.

As I mentioned earlier I was going through a divorce as well and eventually all of the life changes caught up with me and I experienced a difficult night. One turned into several and the cycle began to repeat. Anxiety rose, thinking about sleep consumed my thoughts.

Finally, in January of this year (2024) I enrolled/purchased the online self-paced course.

The course was amazing. However, there was a part in my brain that thought it might not work for me. Implementing the sleep window (sleep restriction) was very helpful. I had a window from 10:30-4:30. I had also started up on the Trazadone for sleep again prior to enrolling in the course and made the decision to end its use the first week of the course. Each lesson built on the next. Even though I am a mental health professional I learned so many new and incredibly ways to look at life events which used to cause so many issues. I could get tangles up in difficult thoughts, try to suppress them, tell myself I just needed to toughen up etc.

Being kind to myself was huge. Learning how to deal with difficult thoughts and feelings was also life changing. Not just for sleep but just a general improvement in the quality of my life. I also really like the pod casts and listening to testimonials. To be honest I did not like them at first because they would really ramp up my anxiety listening to people’s stories. Eventually though I became more comfortable with them and keyed in on how things got better and their lives improved. What really helped me too was hearing how this is not a linear journey. There are ups and downs sometimes, you feel like you take two steps forward and one back but just do not quit. On nights where I struggled with wakefulness I began using the AWAKE exercise and likewise the NOW exercise when thoughts took me away from things I was doing during the day.

My relationship with sleep is much different now. I know a crappy night does not mean a crappy day. Every night is different. I stay up late if I am interested in a show or am doing something enjoyable not thinking I have to run to bed to get my 7 hours of sleep. Difficult thoughts and feelings are a part of living a rich and fulfilling life. I can still wake up at night and think, “Am I going to fall back to sleep or am I up?” Typically, I just think “so what if I am up, my day will still be just fine” and the next thing I know my alarm is waking me up.

This program works if you work it. I wish you all the best on your journey!

[Eggink]

Thanks for this post, Tim. It’s a nice reminder to revisit the tools we’ve learned when the old panicky thoughts arise around chasing sleep. I’ve found that I can have a great day, even when I’ve had a less than stellar night. Thank you again for your message; it makes one feel better to know that mental health professionals like yourself can struggle with sleep issues just like us “regular folks.” 😊

[MontanaJo]

tim, I’m on this journey, sleep issues for about 4 months…”On nights where I struggled with wakefulness I began using the AWAKE exercise and likewise the NOW exercise when thoughts took me away from things I was doing during the day.” What does this mean?

[Tim]

Hi MJ-The AWAKE and NOW are acronyms for exercises which are a part of Martin’s program, specifically techniques to deal with nighttime wakefulness or NOW for daytime intrusive thoughts. Being awake at night isn’t an issue unless I think it is. What happens is my mind views being awake at night as a threat which puts me into fight or flight mode. The AWAKE exercise helps a person make friends with being awake at night or at least not view it as a threat.
The NOW exercise is similar except it is for during the day when my mind was being consumed by sleep related thoughts which kept me from living in the here and now.
I found them to be applicable for other problematic thoughts.
Best wishes on your journey!

[Author]

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