When it all comes crashing down……

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This topic contains 16 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by kerrivw 8 years, 5 months ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 17 total)
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  • #8387

    aimee
    ✘ Not a client

    I was going to name this “The highs and lows of Insomnia”, but there was already a similar post called the ups and downs of insomnia.

    When I am sleeping normally, it seems like I am on top of the world. I am sharp, energetic, social, etc… Even though I have had countless bouts of insomnia and battles with sleeping pills, everytime my sleeping seems to get back to normal I have hope. I hope that it stays this way forever. I start to believe that maybe my sleeping troubles could all be in the past. Lack of sleep is no longer a part of my daily life. I feel like a normal person who goes to sleep at night and wakes up in the morning.

    Than all of a sudden..it all comes crashing down. One night of tossing and turning, and I am reminded of the frustration that I have faced on so many nights. A day after one sleepless night isn't too bad. Then bedtime approaches and I think of last night. Doubt. Anxiety. Hoping I can sleep. Night 2, awake. Day 2, a little drowsy. Night 3, awake. Day 3, tired. Night 4, awake. Day 4, more tired, lack of concentration. Night 5, awake. Tomorrow's obligations: work, concentration, attention to detail, thinking, reading, writing.

    For a while I thought I was dealing with sleepless nights better. I thought I was spending them more relaxed. I tried different strategies for sleep. Nyquil, Benadryl, OTC sleeping pills, Ambien, Zoloft, Trazadone, more I can't remember, mealtonin, natural pills, sleeping tea, breathing excercises, meditation (attempts), muscle relaxation, some CBT, reading, relaxing as much as possible to get the X% effect of sleep they say you can get with laying down and relaxing. It doesn't get easier for me. Its always devastating. Nothing beats sleep. How is it that such a natural biological function can become so difficult?

    This is how I feel when I am on top of the world and it all comes crashing down.

    How about you?

    #12160

    Dozydame
    ✘ Not a client

    Hi Aimee. I so relate to everything you've said here. One of the best things about this forum for me, is the opportunity to vent your frustration and distress to people who actually understand how you feel.

    Over the past 40 years of trying to cope with “the highs and lows of insomnia” I really believe the lows have probably been exacerbated by other peoples' complete lack of understanding and sensitivity. Most of us have discussed how annoying it is having to contend with well intentioned people suggesting simplistic cures like herbal teas, hot milk etc. (when you've tried everything known to man including every sleeping pill ever made) but I have some friends who seem to think it's some kind of joke. If I'm foolish enough to mention feeling tired, or not having slept much last night I get comments like “Oh well, you haven't slept for 40 years anyway, have you? Hahaha……” 😡

    Oh to just be a normal person who goes to bed and wakes up 8 hours later feeling refreshed…….I honestly can't remember what that feels like! 🙁

    #12161

    Dozydame
    ✘ Not a client

    Aimee did you ever try “Sleep Tracks“?

    #12162

    Martin Reed
    ★ Admin

    Hi Aimee

    Have you noticed a pattern forming between the times you're able to sleep and your periods of insomnia? Are there any lifestyle or emotional changes that you think may trigger your insomnia?

    'Dozydame' wrote on '25:

    Hi Aimee. I so relate to everything you've said here. One of the best things about this forum for me, is the opportunity to vent your frustration and distress to people who actually understand how you feel.

    That's exactly why we started this community.

    #12163

    aimee
    ✘ Not a client
    'Dozydame' wrote on '25:

    Aimee did you ever try “Sleep Tracks”?

    I haven't tried sleep tracks, but I am interested. Have you tried it Dozydame?

    #12164

    aimee
    ✘ Not a client

    If I'm foolish enough to mention feeling tired, or not having slept much last night I get comments like “Oh well, you haven't slept for 40 years anyway, have you? Hahaha……” 😡

    I know what you mean!

    #12165

    aimee
    ✘ Not a client
    'Martin' wrote on '25:

    Hi Aimee

    Have you noticed a pattern forming between the times you're able to sleep and your periods of insomnia? Are there any lifestyle or emotional changes that you think may trigger your insomnia?

    That's exactly why we started this community.

    I haven't really noticed a pattern, but there have been a lot of life changes (good and not so good) in the past couple years. I tend to have problems sleeping when I am upset, excited, have a lot on my mind, etc… Now, once I start having sleepless nights I get anxiety about it and it snowballs. So I guess it's both lifestyle and emotional changes that trigger it. Do you still have sleeping problems?

    #12166

    ptalwar
    ✘ Not a client

    Aimee, I can completely relate to your situation. I am currently going through a good period but I know that I am merely one sleepless night away from startign my next bad cycle. Hang in there and do not ever give up hope. I truly believe that staying positive will not only help you out while going through a bad cycle, it may keep the good cycle going longer. May you get those zzzzzzzzzzzzz's 🙄

    #12167

    aimee
    ✘ Not a client
    'ptalwar' wrote on '25:

    Aimee, I can completely relate to your situation. I am currently going through a good period but I know that I am merely one sleepless night away from startign my next bad cycle. Hang in there and do not ever give up hope. I truly believe that staying positive will not only help you out while going through a bad cycle, it may keep the good cycle going longer. May you get those zzzzzzzzzzzzz's 🙄

    Thank you for your support. I do need to be more positive about the sleeping, especially since it is largely mental with me. I think tonight will be better:-)

    #12168

    aimee
    ✘ Not a client

    I was realy frustrated when I wrote that last night. Funny, I would never have written anything like that to anyone had it not been for this site!

    #12169

    kerrivw
    ✘ Not a client
    'aimee' wrote on '25:

    I was realy frustrated when I wrote that last night. Funny, I would never have written anything like that to anyone had it not been for this site!

    I was just about to post a new topic and wondering what to call it when I read yours. I was going to say almost the same thing! Recently, I have about 1 1/2 weeks of good sleeps and I was so excited, thinking that the new meditation audio, starting yoga again and my new membership at Insomnialand had totally worked. I always feel so awesome when I sleep, even my boyfriend notices and is happy too. Then this past week I only slept well 2 out of 5 work nights (approx 4 hours per night). It's so depressing! It just kills my energy and optimism about things in my life. I just want it to stop! It just kills me when I'm so exhausted and have sore muscles then I can't fall asleep AGAIN! I wasn't always like this (only occasional before and this past year has become more consistent). It was so comforting to read your post (and everyones replies) because sometimes I feel like I'm going to lose my mind! I think it is emotional but I'm not really stressed out anymore. I'm going to try rearranging my bedroom. I'm also hoping that summer will help things since it has been a long cold winter where I am. I have been debating whether I should just take sick leave from work but I know it looks bad if future employers somehow find out. Also, since I'm trying to get pregnant, I'm not sure if it's a good idea. (Has anyone else taken time off work to try and deal with sleep problems?) Sorry, I'm totally rambling! I hope we will both be in a good sleep cycle again soon!

    K

    #12170

    Dozydame
    ✘ Not a client
    'Dozydame' wrote on '25:

    Aimee did you ever try “Sleep Tracks”?

    Hi again Aimee. I did respond the last time you asked me about Sleep Tracks, but I'm not sure you read it. Anyway, here it is again. BTW Yan (from Sleep Tracks) has recently come out with some improved versions of some of the tracks, but I haven't tried them yet. They are now also on Facebook if you want to ask any questions before purchasing.

    http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=hpskip#!/SleepTracks

    Well one of the reasons I haven't done a review of Sleep Tracks is because I stopped using it as soon as my sleep improved – which is not really the reccommended way to use it. The reason I stopped using it is because I didn't want to be trying to stay awake until the end of the track so that I could take my earphones out and turn my mp3 player off and risk waking myself up again in the process. I figured that since I'd started falling asleep more easily I'd just see how it went. I am thinking of buying a product called SleepPhones which is like a headband with built in headphones which you just plug your iPod into but leave on all night and blocks noise also. They are out of stock at the moment though.

    Anyway, I did use the Fall Asleep track, the Whole Night track and the Insomnia Buster track. I found I preferred the Fall Asleep track because it was shorter – about 20 minutes. I also did use the Whole Night track on loop, but am not sure it made much difference. All I can tell you is that I was just not able to get to sleep at all without drugs for quite a while (but I'm really leery of using drugs much because I've been hooked on them before and don't want to go there again – so only every 3rd night) anyway within about 6 days of starting Sleep Tracks I found that I began to at least fall asleep again. I wish I could tell you that I'm now sleeping like a baby, but sadly not. However, I am getting some sleep most nights and am feeling more rested AND I've stopped taking drugs again. Most importantly, I'm now going to bed expecting to get some sleep instead of dreading another night of NO sleep. It seemed like it just broke the cycle I was on and allowed a better cycle to begin. After 40 years of insomnia I'm well acquainted with the fact that I go through cycles with it, but I still can't work out what the triggers are. Before I tried Sleep Tracks I tried hypnotherapy again but it made no difference at all. That last bad patch was the worst I've ever had and I was feeling absolutely desperate.

    When I read about Sleep Tracks, like you I thought I really had nothing to lose and in fact they offer a money back guarantee if after 60 days you're not happy with it. I don't know how easy it is to actually get a refund, but the guy does come across as pretty genuine and you do get follow up info once you start the program.

    Hope this helps Aimee and if you do try it I'll be really interested to see how it worked for you. Maybe you'll be a little more disciplined than me and use it correctly. Best of luck!

    #12171

    MarinaFournier
    ✘ Not a client
    'aimee' wrote on '25:

    If I'm foolish enough to mention feeling tired, or not having slept much last night I get comments like “Oh well, you haven't slept for 40 years anyway, have you?

    I know what you mean!

    “And your point would be?”

    At one point, in the late 90's, my husband asked me in frustration, “Don't you ever wake up rested after a night's sleep?”. My response was, “No, not really. I might be a little less tired, but that's as good as it gets, presuming I actually GET a night's sleep”.

    Labor Day weekend 2001 was the first really restful sleep I'd had in over 20 years, and it was due to a mood stabilizer that makes many folks downright dopey: Topomax, aka by some of its users, Dopomax. My son takes it for migraine prevention, and it helps him sleep a bit, but not as much as had Seroquel, which resulted in massive weight gain and blood glucose increase. Topomax only worked for me for two years before it quit, though.

    The interesting paradox I see in your situation is that bipolar I's have manias where they can do whatever BUT they don't sleep much nor feel the need for sleep. Then they come crashing down to depression and unusual amounts of sleep, not having the energy to get out of bed, etc. Yours is the same pattern, without the mania or depression parts (which is good. let me tell you!). I wish it meant I'd have a great suggestion to help you even things out.

    Marina

    #12172

    aimee
    ✘ Not a client
    'kerrivw' wrote on '26:

    I was just about to post a new topic and wondering what to call it when I read yours. I was going to say almost the same thing! Recently, I have about 1 1/2 weeks of good sleeps and I was so excited, thinking that the new meditation audio, starting yoga again and my new membership at Insomnialand had totally worked. I always feel so awesome when I sleep, even my boyfriend notices and is happy too. Then this past week I only slept well 2 out of 5 work nights (approx 4 hours per night). It's so depressing! It just kills my energy and optimism about things in my life. I just want it to stop! It just kills me when I'm so exhausted and have sore muscles then I can't fall asleep AGAIN! I wasn't always like this (only occasional before and this past year has become more consistent). It was so comforting to read your post (and everyones replies) because sometimes I feel like I'm going to lose my mind! I think it is emotional but I'm not really stressed out anymore. I'm going to try rearranging my bedroom. I'm also hoping that summer will help things since it has been a long cold winter where I am. I have been debating whether I should just take sick leave from work but I know it looks bad if future employers somehow find out. Also, since I'm trying to get pregnant, I'm not sure if it's a good idea. (Has anyone else taken time off work to try and deal with sleep problems?) Sorry, I'm totally rambling! I hope we will both be in a good sleep cycle again soon!

    It's nice that we can all relate so much to what people are going through here, even though I would prefer that no one had to be on this website! (no offense, Martin:-)) Same with me, I am like a different person when I am sleeping than when I am not. It still has not gotten better this week. I don't know what happened, all of a sudden I just couldn't sleep. Although I have had a decent weekend because I read this wonderful book! You might like it because it focuses a lot on meditation and yoga. I was surprised because I didn't know this person was into this type of topic. Its Rusell Simmon's book Super Rich. Its not just about being rich financially. I really go a lot out of it and am trying to be positive that i will sleep better tonight. I think that rearranging the bedroom is a good idea…i'm going to try that!!! Maybe right now! Where are you from? I have missed many school and work days because of sleeping problems. Its really difficult to explain to people so I just say i have a “health issue”. Don't worry about rambling..we all need to ramble about our sleep sometimes.

    #12173

    aimee
    ✘ Not a client

    Hi Dozy. I'm sorry, I still haven't figured out a good way on here to make sure I am getting all the responses. I would really love to try sleep tracks. I am a full time student and am short on money at this point in the year so I am not sure when I will be able to get it. When I get some money I definitely will! Thanks for the advice. I am also trying to not take drugs. This week I have been taking Benadryl. I didn't want to take that either because it seems like it always starts with that. Then I feel like I ned to get some more Ambiem, then that stops working and they percribe me antidepressants. By then I'm so desperate I take whatever thy give me. Then I stop everything and have horrible rebound insomnia. I DO NOT want to go through that even one more time. oh, you tried hypnotherapy? I was curious about that. I have also been curious about acupuncture. Too bad I am just a broke college student now! Its so wierd how it just comes and goes..I wish I knew exactly what it was. I hope your sleeping is getting better:-) Thanks for all the advice

    'Dozydame' wrote on '26:

    Hi again Aimee. I did respond the last time you asked me about Sleep Tracks, but I'm not sure you read it. Anyway, here it is again. BTW Yan (from Sleep Tracks) has recently come out with some improved versions of some of the tracks, but I haven't tried them yet. They are now also on Facebook if you want to ask any questions before purchasing.

    http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=hpskip#!/SleepTracks

    Well one of the reasons I haven't done a review of Sleep Tracks is because I stopped using it as soon as my sleep improved – which is not really the reccommended way to use it. The reason I stopped using it is because I didn't want to be trying to stay awake until the end of the track so that I could take my earphones out and turn my mp3 player off and risk waking myself up again in the process. I figured that since I'd started falling asleep more easily I'd just see how it went. I am thinking of buying a product called SleepPhones which is like a headband with built in headphones which you just plug your iPod into but leave on all night and blocks noise also. They are out of stock at the moment though.

    Anyway, I did use the Fall Asleep track, the Whole Night track and the Insomnia Buster track. I found I preferred the Fall Asleep track because it was shorter – about 20 minutes. I also did use the Whole Night track on loop, but am not sure it made much difference. All I can tell you is that I was just not able to get to sleep at all without drugs for quite a while (but I'm really leery of using drugs much because I've been hooked on them before and don't want to go there again – so only every 3rd night) anyway within about 6 days of starting Sleep Tracks I found that I began to at least fall asleep again. I wish I could tell you that I'm now sleeping like a baby, but sadly not. However, I am getting some sleep most nights and am feeling more rested AND I've stopped taking drugs again. Most importantly, I'm now going to bed expecting to get some sleep instead of dreading another night of NO sleep. It seemed like it just broke the cycle I was on and allowed a better cycle to begin. After 40 years of insomnia I'm well acquainted with the fact that I go through cycles with it, but I still can't work out what the triggers are. Before I tried Sleep Tracks I tried hypnotherapy again but it made no difference at all. That last bad patch was the worst I've ever had and I was feeling absolutely desperate.

    When I read about Sleep Tracks, like you I thought I really had nothing to lose and in fact they offer a money back guarantee if after 60 days you're not happy with it. I don't know how easy it is to actually get a refund, but the guy does come across as pretty genuine and you do get follow up info once you start the program.

    Hope this helps Aimee and if you do try it I'll be really interested to see how it worked for you. Maybe you'll be a little more disciplined than me and use it correctly. Best of luck!

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 17 total)

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