Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
I highly doubt anyone here can help you with your problem because I believe nobody is an “expert” on sleep except Martin, well he’s got some certs or something under his belt. Speaking about your “light sleep” problem, there’s another person too who purportedly has the same problem as you: Jess84. Maybe you both are the same person so why are you flooding this forum with the questions, asking endlessly about the same stuffs for years. If you aren’t her, then go to that thread and see if you can find anything helpful, though I highly doubt it.
Hello!
Angeli is right. You only take something if you think there’s a problem to be solved and then you become stuck in the false belief that your sleep is broken for god knows how long. Sleep isn’t the problem, but thinking there’s a problem becomes the problem, makes any sense?
Thanks for sharing. But I am not going to write a long post anymore because it is not going to help you or me or anyone else by making big issues out of it. All I can say is setbacks are very common, even for recovered persons like myself, I couldn’t care less about how I sleep, all I know is my body takes care of it all by itself. And nobody is saying you will miraculously sleep well suddenly after doing cbt-i for only days or even weeks! Cbt-i isn’t a sleep generator but it does help make your nights more consistent. True recovery isn’t about sleeping well, it’s really about how you respond to difficult nights in the end.
You went to the experts who gave you all sorts of advice and medications, none worked so what makes you think anyone here can help you without even seeing you in person? The only thing I can say is you are spending too much time in bed (1 am – 830 am) plus naps, the longer it is, the lighter the sleep tends to get. Also, what is your definition of light sleep? How do you know you have it? Have you done a sleep study (polysomnography)?
Hi @illiniwek9!
“I worry that lack of sleep is going to give me Alzheimer’s or lead to premature death.”
You already mentioned the root cause of your sleep problem. It’s always the fear of getting poor sleep that keeps it going indefinitely. As a recovered person, I am telling you this fear is completely irrational and way overblown but do you really believe me? Most likely not otherwise you wouldn’t be making such a fuss about it here. Yes, so you haven’t slept well for 4 nights but so what? Just get on with your days regardless. It is pretty common to experience hiccups along the way. Give yourself permission to have bad nights, this isn’t a contest about who’s sleeping the best or the most for the longest because nobody is judging it except yourself. Accept any sleep on any day and just move on. Don’t dwell on the past. Begin each night on a fresh page. By sticking to a regular bedtime schedule, your sleep should get pretty consistent and your emotions will settle down eventually. I get some bad nights too occasionally but it never crosses my mind to come here and ask about it or seek advice. Because I know there’s nothing I can do except accepting and moving on. Like I said, it’s all about your relationship with poor sleep and how you think about it. If you don’t think there’s a problem, then there’s none. Good luck and best wishes!
I cannot help but laugh at your statements about sleep ?. Sorry you don’t control sleep nor waking up! The faster you quit trying to control it, the faster you leave the struggle with insomnia behind. And this usually leads to a place of inner peace where you become okay with anything and everything about sleep, those awakenings and often falling back asleep with relative ease.
@daveka
Yes your future nights will be full of cycles of like these, stretch of good nights, followed by not so good, then back to good again and the cycles keep repeating. I got so used to them so they don’t bother me anymore. And I couldn’t be bothered to do any strict SR like what you are doing because they don’t keep the bad nights from happening anyway nor guarantee a good night either. I frequently take naps during the day whenever I get sleepy and/or go to bed at night whenever I’m not that sleepy also, I couldn’t be bothered to be obessesed over what kind of sleep I get on any night, it simply doesn’t matter! If I sleep badly on any night, I know it’s just a matter of time I’ll get the good nights back so why fret or get unnecessarily anxious over it.Hi DK!
Are you avoiding your bed until bedtime? In this instance, I would recommend you spend more enjoyable time in bed instead, doing things you like such as watching movies on your phone, play games or anything you like, try to reestablish that loving connection with your bed. Don’t try to use cbti as a tool to generate sleep, because nothing can generate sleep except sufficient wakefulness so it doesn’t really matter how and where you spend that wakefulness. Dont obesess over what time it is because cbti says so. Go by what your body is telling you. If you lose focus repeatedly then it’s time for bed. Your ability to sleep is independent of cbti or anything else you use to try to achieve this end. What did you like to do before bedtime prior to your insomnia? Then continue doing that! Restoring your personality will help regain your confidence and find that joy again. Best wishes to you.Hi DK!
I can only say some differences are to be expected from night to night. They are also much more likely to happen at the beginning of the recovery. But at the end of the day, sleep is just sleep, and there’s no way your body can do it wrong.I can understand where you are coming from, it is very human to want to do something to achieve some form of control, but therein is where your issues will stick. The more you do, the more attention you pay to it, the more struggle you will get. Try to be neutral and non judgmental about any kind of sleep you get. Be friendly to wakefulness as much as you can. Only then will your mind settle down to rest. Are you a bible person? It says God rested after 6 days of work. It didn’t say sleep. So as long as you allow yourself sufficient rest in bed, and not worry about sleep, you should be well rested. Sleep becomes a by-product of resting quietly in a comfortable place and you don’t actively strive or force it to happen.
You are only truly recovered when you stop seeking answers or asking questions after a perceived poor sleeping experience anymore. It comes from a realization that any sleep, good or poor, long or short, no longer has any hold over you.
Hello @daveka!
The solution to this is paradoxically not seeking to improve anymore. Sounds twisted but so true! Your body has already shown you it can sleep, is capable of improvement so what more do you ask of it? That it gives you 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep every single night? You know that is impossible so when will the lesson ever be learnt that nobody controls sleep and nobody controls waking up either.Everybody will have bouts of poorer sleep after a stretch of good nights. Think of it as reduced sleep drive after getting so much good sleep so naturally your sleep will get poorer, there’s nothing wrong there and no troubleshooting is required. This is critical! The faster you realise that you can’t control sleep or waking up, and the less you do to try to control it, the faster you leave the struggle with insomnia. True recovery isn’t necessary about getting good sleep at all, it is really about your relationship with poor nights and how you feel or think about them.
Hello @jake5517!
The true recovery isn’t truly about the sleep anymore. It is really about your relationship with poor sleep, and how “immune” you are to it, if you
reach a stage when you think nothing about it, go on your day as usual and never crossed your mind to seek any kind of help or remedy, then that is the real recovery. Because you are no longer in that state of fear, when everything just seems to spiral out of control.Hello!
Here is the thing about sleep: Nobody has the ability to control it, ever. And nobody can control when they awake either! But getting overstressed over it can probably make it worse or make you waken more often. If you are willing to accept that you cant control sleep, that you will go to bed at X and get out at Y, disregard whatever happens in between and leave everything up to your body to decide and be willing to accept any outcome, including the awakenings, you will do quite well indeed. Sleep is just sleep, there’s nothing mysterious about it, and there’s no way your body can do it wrong either!Hello @Angeli
Thank you for your excellent answer. I too surrender completely to my body about sleep, I am also always sleepy almost all the time, especially during 2-4 pm, that’s why I like to take naps and sometimes they affect my nightly sleep but I’m not bothered at all. I find joy in both sleeping or not sleeping! That’s the meaning of being recovered because I am not trying to achieve anything anymore.
Hi @HENRY22
I am lucky because I discovered very early in my insomnia journey that ambien didnt work for me. Looking back the reason ambien didnt work was because I was going to bed way too early! Back then I was a late night owl, usually sleeping at 2am, so when insomnia hit after one whole sleepless night, of course I went to the doctor, horribly stressed over it and was prescribed ambien like everyone else. It kinda worked first night, I went to bed much earlier at 9pm versus the usual 2am, did manage to fall asleep after 1.5 hours but that was because I had backup sleep deprivation from the previous night. So second night, I took the pill again and went to bed at 9pm and guess what? Another sleepless night! Then I went back to the doctor who told me to stop taking the Ambien. Long story short, I only realised after finishing this course, that my circadian rhythm and the amount of time I spent awake continuously was the biggest determinant of how sleepy I’d get by a certain time in the evening. So now, I have been regularly going to bed at 11pm and out by 730am. So far so good, I am able to sleep a minimum of 6 hours on my worst nights, or the entire 8.5 on my best. I don’t stress about sleep anymore, I sometimes do wonder when an entire sleepless night would visit me again, and I do kinda anticipate it to happen because I have been taking afternoon naps, but so far, it hasn’t. I hope you find your relief soon. Best wishes.
Here’s the thing: Nobody ever conquered insomnia. Because sleeping is completely effortless and requires no action on your part, it is just happens naturally after being awake long enough. Insomnia really has two components to it: the first is the actual difficulty in sleeping and the other part is being frightened and stressed over it, which is completely psychological.
The first part is very easy to tackle. Just getting in and out of bed at regular times will fix it. The other part is more insidious and requires reverse psychology. You get over it by not wanting to get rid of insomnia, no longer seeing it as a problem and therefore, becoming desensitized by it over time. Sounds twisted but it works for many people!
