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Hello guys
Fear is driving all this. Fear of something. And these can be real or fake, your brain is confused between the two and is in constant hyperalert state over it. In many cases, certainly in insomnia, that fear is completely false and unwarranted. Everyone knows how to sleep just like they know how to eat or breathe. So why bother worrying over something that takes care of itself? Now, there can be two ways to tackle this, either through a cocktail of drugs that alter brain chemistry or through repeated exposure to that very thing that causes you so much fear until you just get used to it, this is sometimes called the Claire Weekes’ method. Apparently, your brain is capable of rewiring itself neurally. Tackle the fear head-on and be brave about it! What is it so bad that inspires so much fear and resentment about it? Is this fear even rational? Get to the root of your fears and be willing to see if they are really true. This route will often lead to long lasting success without drugs. Good luck guys!Oh no, try not to stop the panic. It never works and just comes back stronger! Allow it to come and it will pass. Welcome all thoughts no matter how unpleasant they seem. Thoughts are just thoughts, they can’t harm you and they aren’t always true. But they are almost always false! Read up Claire Weekes’ method of dealing with anxiety and general unpleasantness. Basically, she said allow the unpleasant feelings to overwhelm you until they don’t matter anymore. In time, they just become less important and you get desensitized to them. Don’t shut them out or avoid them in any way but you can do other things to distract yourself but try not to escape them actively, because they will keep coming back and bother you more! Your brain has got confused between real threats such as escaping a tiger or a burning building to something completely harmless like not getting enough sleep or getting poor sleep, you need to show your brain these threats aren’t real and that everything is a false alarm because it is! But in general, you are trying to protect your sleep which doesn’t need protecting at all because your body is extremely good at it, it’s what you’re born to do! Good luck!
Hi Edgar
Yes I do feel sorry for you. But I don’t think feeling sorry or you endlessly ranting about it is going to help you much. Your life still goes on despite the lack of sleep and so does everyone else’s. Perhaps you should think about what is it really that frightens you so much about sleeping poorly. Must you have a perfect sleep every night? Nobody gets that, not even the best sleepers! So how many times have you gone through this when you slogged on with your day despite sleeping poorly the night before? Considering your long history, it must be a hell lot of times! But to still not let it go by now is pretty astonishing to me, it’s super human!I would take any nap if I have the opportunity and time for it. What’s wrong with that? I stopped trying to protect my nocturnal sleep, I couldn’t care less if I can’t sleep the whole night due to a damn nap. Recovering isn’t so much about getting that perfect that 6-8 hours of sleep every single night, it is really about not being afraid anymore. Terrified of taking naps or whatever it is you are making a connection to your sleep. You really need to work on your relationship with poor sleep to get ahead! Stop focusing on the sleep part, this is really something else, it’s about being in that state of terror for god knows how long over something completely harmless and normal, which is the occasional bad night that everyone gets. Stop catastrophizing and start living your life! And besides none of this is new, we’ve all heard about your insomniac stories and your alcoholism for god knows how long already.
What time do you get up to start your day? And what was your normal bedtime before you lost your pet? Was it much earlier than 10pm? Don’t make up lost sleep by going to bed earlier! You can go to sleep later but not earlier. The reason behind this is because you need to build up a healthy sleep drive, and this works by amount of continuous time spent awake not what the clock is saying. The healthy amount of wakefulness for a healthy sleep drive is between 16-18 hours, work out yours and then figure out what time you should be in bed. Be prepared to experiment with this because everyone is different but start with 18 hours and slowly decrease that to 17 or 16 depending on your need, you should do fine! Stop overthinking and overdoing it, sleep is quite easy once you understand it well enough. It’s not this black box that’s mysterious and hard to understand, sleep is just sleep, your body is born to do it without much effort, just like eating and breathing.
Great insight! Thanks for sharing. Learning to develop a good working relationship with poor sleep is key to recovery.
Greetings!
Entertain those very thoughts that are keeping your awake. So your baby will be up in a few hours, and you’ll be knackered from lack of sleep but so what?? Endeavour to find out if it’s really that bad. Everyone knows parenting isn’t easy so allow yourself to feel pressured and stressed. It’s normal! Nobody is judging you or saying this shouldn’t be happening. Because human brains work like this: Brain: There’s a danger here, you need to take care of it. You: Oh no, I need to get away from this. It’s horrible. I’m gonna shut all these horrible thoughts out because they’re unpleasant. Brain: You try to make me go away??! Nice try! Here’s more.. good luck with that! Then before you know it, you’ve got terrible sleep and find it harder to shut down to rest. Don’t shut things out from your brain or try to make them go away, it doesn’t work. Accept them with grace and courage, and you might succeed beyond your wildest dreams. Look beyond the insomnia and learn the lessons that this episode in life provides: patience, perseverance and courage. Good luck and congratulations on being a parent!Greetings
Sleep is perhaps the only thing that backfires the more effort you make. It works like this: the longer you go without it, the sleepier you’ll get and therefore the more likely you will fall asleep. So stop overthinking and overdoing it, have a regular bedtime schedule and let the dust settle down. Then you will slowly ease back into your slumber like before. Easy does it and best wishes to you!Hello!
There is no good or bad sleep as far as your body is concerned, sleep is just sleep, and there’s almost no way your body can do it wrong. Haven’t you already noticed this by now when you said you slept better after a stretch of poor sleep?The problem, like everyone else’s, is not about the bad sleep itself, it is how you feel and think about it and ultimately, your relationship with poor sleep or a perceived lack of it. Sleep in some shape, form or size will still happen no matter how you feel about it, you can either worry (which would be over nothing) or be completely carefree, because nothing can stop nor control sleep, including cbti or the so called sleep hygiene, this thing is hardwired into your body and cannot be altered or modified in any way. Therefore, worrying about it will be a complete and needless waste of time and effort, it will be like worrying about breathing or eating, your body knows how to do it if you just let it! Just go to bed at regular times and let your body take do all the work for you. If you keep doing this and slowly overcome the fear of poor sleep, you will do very well, maybe exceed your wildest imaginations because you have, so far, completely way underestimated your body’s innate ability and need to sleep.
Hello!
So what time do you get out of bed to start your day?
And any particular reason why you go to bed at 10pm other than struggling to stay awake? It might be a bit early for some people. The reason I’m saying this is because some people are night owls and they naturally stay up until midnight. How much sleep do you estimate you are getting on a average night, including all that light, broken sleep that you said you are getting?Hello frozensun
Have you considered the idea that nothing is wrong?? Waking up few times during the night is common and even normal for everyone! You are trying to find a problem when there isn’t one. Therefore you are endlessly trying to solve an inexistent problem and chasing a ghost for 6 years! And all that efforts led to poor sleep because you are trying so hard, you didn’t find the solution and you become so frustrated and angry that your body gets into a heightened state all the time, possibly affecting your sleep.Of course, this is just an idea. You should talk to your doctor if you have other health concerns. Nobody here is qualified to give any medical advice for psychosis or other severe mental issues. I wish you the best and hope you find relief soon.
Greetings to you!
This is a very common problem for everyone who is recovering! And it is also a sure sign everything is working perfectly well so far, because if your sleep drive is reduced after sleeping well, this naturally means your sleep gets a bit worse and you wake up more often and earlier.The solution to this? Do nothing. Just stay faithful to your sleep window. It’s ironic and even paradoxical because if you attempt to do too many things at this stage, you risk making it worse and end up back in the hole of insomnia! Stop trying so hard to sleep. Be okay with waking up and maybe sleeping a bit less. In other words, get comfortable with the frequent early wakenings. Just go back to bed if it’s still too early and I suspect you will fall back asleep faster as time goes on or you can get up and start your day a bit early if it’s already close to your scheduled wake up time.
For everyone who has recovered including myself, this problem is not about trying to sleep better or longer anymore. It is more about how you feel about waking up and being okay with that or continue struggling with it! The decision you make at this juncture will decide your success or failure. If you constantly overstrive and overdo, you will fail very badly. Because you are showing your brain waking up is bad and must be avoided at all costs. But nobody can control sleep or waking up! Or if you choose the path of least resistance, least work, being accepting and friendly with wakefulness and staying faithful to your sleep window, you will succeed beyond your wildest imaginations! At the end of all this, the ultimate lesson for your brain is to stop fearing poor sleep again. Good luck and best wishes to you.
Hello
Try not to avoid it but welcome it instead. So instead of going “oh no, that old witch hyperarousal is here again”, you can go “oh hi old friend, it’s you again, howdy”. You must be open to welcoming bad thoughts in order to get the handle on this. Avoidance magnifies the threat to your brain and presents it as a much bigger danger than it really is. Then the warnings become more pronounced and alarm bells start going off inside you, your heart races, you break into a cold sweat and etc. Ultimately, thoughts are just thoughts, they can’t hurt you but your brain has become conditioned to think that they can. The only way to get out of this is show your brain bad thoughts and poor sleep are not dangers, but are otherwise harmless and insignificant. Stop fearing and start accepting! After a while, these thoughts just become fleeting and they don’t bother you anymore. Best wishes!Hello!
Good luck to you. And please don’t think poor sleep is something bad and needs to be avoided at all costs! Because it’s normal and everyone gets them occasionally. It’s your response and overreaction to it that continues the struggle, try not to fall into this trap! It can get difficult sometimes, but in general, adopt an accepting, open mind, welcome both good and bad nights as well as both good and bad thoughts, but try not to do anything or overthink about them and just let them pass, you will be very successful. Ultimately you will reach a stage where you don’t think your sleep is broken and poor sleep doesn’t terrify you anymore. Best wishes.Hello soxfan,
There is no “good” or “bad”, because sleep is just sleep, and there isn’t really a lot of ways your body can do it wrong, kinda similar to eating or breathing. As long as you keep to a regular bedtime schedule and trust your own body, you should do very well and you’ll be on your way to leaving insomnialand. Best wishes to you, try not to stress over the occasional bad nights or the waking up too early, the important thing is try not to struggle, accept and be friends with wakefulness as much as you can, you will pass with flying colors.
