[hiker]

Hi Wayne, I can’t speak to any alcohol withdrawal issues, but I am still confident alcohol is not a factor at this point. As you probably know, intoxication gets in the way of good sleep, but you have been sober for months.

Re natural sleep aids, I did not find any OTC meds which worked. I think some might for short-term insomnia, but that is about it. As for Rx level, the best bet for finding a knowledgeable doc is a sleep medicine specialist. Pharmacists get more specific training on the effects of various meds. And a number of meds do have side effects. Many are antidepressants, and a particular form of insomnia–chronic early morning awakening–is a classic symptom of depression.

Over the long term, though, there is unfortunately no sleep med. which is a guarantee. If there were, you would see blocks-long lines at doc’s offices to get it. Check out Martin’s discussions about the emotional blocks we put up when it comes to sleep, e.g. trying too hard to sleep—in fact, trying at all.

Take care, and know you are not alone in this.

[hiker]

Hi markhollis, it sounds like you have been checking in with Martin, and you might want to consult with him further on sleep hygiene and CBT-1 (no, I am not getting a commission!)

I have had insomnia issues for 40+ years. Lots of complicated reasons, which do not mean, at all, that you will go 40 years, too. I mention it only because I have been where it sounds like you are. Unfortunately it took me a long time to learn.

Anyway, I just want to address your concerns about neurological damage and people’s uncaring attitude.

I am not medically trained. However, over the years I have consulted with neurologists, sleep docs, had MRIs etc. I have learned that you can develop neural pathways which can lead to your brain sending weird messages. The most extreme is phantom limb syndrome, i.e. amputees who feel pain in a limb which is no longer there. The pain (including the psychological pain of insomnia) is real; you’re not making it up. But actual neurological damage? No. If you are interested further, check out unlearnyourpain.com by Howard Schubiner, M.D.

As for uncaring attitudes, I think two things come into play. I have found that even with all I know, a string of poor sleep nights, or even a single night, can really mess with my head. I can feel sort of paranoid or uncertain, wishing I were dead, irritable over anything, etc. And it can seem like nobody cares. Invariably I have concluded afterwards that it’s the insomnia talking.

And sometimes people indeed are uncaring. All you can do is choose how you are going to react to it. And usually after a while, I find it’s no so much that they don’t care. Rather, they just don’t understand—although they might think they do, because everybody sleeps poorly sometime. As you know, chronic insomnia is a whole different ballgame. Maybe it’s the equivalent of yours truly, being a man, can never fully comprehend what it’s like to be pregnant.

It might feel like you are resigned to a lifetime of chronic insomnia and misery. You’re not.

[hiker]

Hi SkibearCO: About having a relapse into insomnia, I have found I can do better if I can not make a big deal about it. It is natural to get into a mindset that I am improving, therefore I will continue to improve every night, and I will sleep well from now on.

Unfortunately our brains do get swirled with stuff like the chaos in our country. And sometimes I sleep poorly and can’t put my finger on why for that particular night. Just happens.

I understand this can sound passive, that there must be something you can do to solve this once and for all. But I have found sleep is one of those things you don’t get better at by trying harder. Instead, I think it is more like….”I didn’t sleep well last night, that’s disappointing, (maybe spend a little time wondering if there is a specific reason, e.g. watched the late news and it had an especially disturbing story). Maybe I will sleep better tonight, we’ll see.” (rather than I WILL or I HAVE GOT TO sleep better tonight.

[hiker]

I have found that laying awake in bed almost guarantees I will not get back to sleep. And trying to relax hasn’t worked all that well, either.

Can you think of a time when you have felt relaxed? Not because I tried, you just felt relaxed. How about a time when you treated yourself well, or when you gave yourself a break, when you stopped demanding so much of yourself? Here is one that has been challenging for me: can you think of a time when you just stopped trying to figure everything out?

I have gone back and forth with insomnia for a lot of years (for a lot of reasons not important right now–it doesn’t mean you will, too). And I have tried to think my way to solutions, e.g. as a lawyer. But all that thinking and analyzing really hasn’t helped me when it comes to sleep. Maybe it sounds like I am giving up, but I seem to sleep better when I realize there is only so much I can do about it. That if I don’t sleep well tonight, well, I’d like to but I have made it through many days on poor sleep…..and then not infrequently I sleep better.

I know a lot more about insomnia than I wish I knew! I can say that I have found Martin’s videos to be a concise summary of the main issues most of us deal with.

[hiker]

Does your schedule allow you to go to bed earlier, so that you will get enough sleep by 3:30 am when you wake up? Another tip could be not to check the clock to confirm, which might in turn reaffirm that this is what you do, leading to a mindset of this is the way it has been, the way it is, the way it will always be……I think that would be part of the “sleep hygiene” answer.

But I have had early morning awakening for a long time, and the above has not been enough for me. An additional help some of the time has been when I can go to bed and acknowledge that OK, it seems that I wake up in the middle of the night. So if it happens tonight, I do not have to be automatically disappointed or anxious about it. It could be that if I get up and stretch a bit or read something which is sort of interesting but not a page-turner, that I will go back to bed and back to sleep. Or maybe I won’t and I’ll just get up. And I’ll get tired later and acknowledge that ideally I would have gotten back to sleep.

And the next night, the same thing. And if I did not sleep well the previous night, well, maybe I will sleep better tonight. Or maybe I won’t.

If this sounds fatalistic, well, I guess it could sound that way. But it is rather an approach to something which ultimately just happens, where trying harder or worrying about it does not help. I haven’t always remembered all this when I have had a bad run of poor sleep–and it can get harder to remember when your mind is scrambled from fatigue. But it is true.

[hiker]

Hi Jennifer, I can definitely relate to your story. I have been dealing with insomnia on a consistent basis for 40+ years. Tried, let’s see….sleep studies, CPAP, 20+ Rx antidepressants /sleep meds, psychotherapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, sleep restriction, continued good sleep hygiene, etc etc. And I do best when I just accept it: “Okay, I’m tired, I’ll just do the best I can.”

So it is encouraging that someone like you, who has travelled a similar long road, got help from Martin’s course.
——————————–
Hi Martin, I am sure you can understand why I am skeptical that your course will help me, though I must say Jennifer’s account is impressive. My wife is very sympathetic but understandably not enthusiastic about my spending yet more money to find a cure which has seemed non-existent.

Many people offer a “money back guarantee” if a product doesn’t work. But maybe you mean it. You do offer a free seminar and work hard to respond on the forum. I do want to believe your course can help.

[hiker]

I believe that what you are describing is referred to as “early morning awakening” and is considered a classic symptom of depression. At least in a physiological sense, even if you are not feeling bummed out.

Looks like Martin responds to a lot of posts, and you’d want to get his take on this.

btw, I take an antidepressant which does help keep me from getting depressed about insomnia. I wish I could say it relieves the insomnia itself, but no. Like Martin says (I think I am paraphrasing accurately here?), there is no pill you can take which will cure insomnia forever.

But maybe in your case, an antidepressant would help relieve an underlying depression, which in turn might resolve early morning awakening? Best to consult with Martin et al on this. I have a long anecdotal history about insomnia, but I am not a professional.

[hiker]

Hi Martin, I wrote the above (“Accepting that you can’t sleep right now”) before checking out your site in more detail. It certainly looks like you have helped a lot of people. Maybe me, too.

[Author]

Posts