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Thanks for the great question! We’ll be exploring how to respond to being awake at night in a lot more detail from Week 2 onward.
In the meantime, I would suggest that it’s OK to do anything when you are awake at night as long as what you are doing isn’t creating a struggle (and struggle often shows up when we try to control what is out of our control).
So, if reading in bed or watching TV in bed helps you experience wakefulness with less struggle, why deny yourself those activities?
As suggested by @Sposs1, the typical advice is to avoid blue light at night. However, in my experience, this is not really an issue (especially among people struggling with insomnia). If blue light was the cause of ongoing sleep disruption, the “cure” for insomnia would be very straightforward indeed!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That sounds really difficult — and it seems that your experience has an important insight to share here.
The more you try to control sleep (understandable) and the more you try to fight or avoid certain thoughts and feelings like anxiety (understandable, too!) the more powerful and influential and difficult all those things can become.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I probably wouldn’t go so far as to say that all such claims are false since that might imply deliberate deception.
Instead, I’d suggest that these claims/findings are often misleading or misinterpreted (for all the reasons outlined in the video lesson that explored this subject).
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for the additional detail, Mary!
It might be worth emphasizing that the goal of the sleep window isn’t to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen. The goal is to help you move away from chasing after sleep — something that often makes it more difficult and elusive.
Our body clocks can get used to a regular wake-up time in the morning. So, if you start with one out of bed time and then change it again, you might find things a bit more difficult as your body clock tried to adjust.
This is why I usually suggest choosing your preferred out of bed time right from the start and sticking with that — however you are the expert on yourself!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
A big change is happening, so your problem-solving brain is working harder as it does its job of looking out for you.
You are more aware of waking at night and this can be accompanied by the feeling of a racing heart. You are continuing to practice the AWAKE exercise but it doesn’t seem to have helped.
If the AWAKE exercise was helping, what would be different?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Anxiety can be a difficult feeling to experience — and it’s often something that becomes more powerful, influential, and difficult to experience the more we try to resist, fight, or avoid it.
It sounds like when you notice the feeling of anxiety, it doesn’t always turn into an anxiety attack.
What are you doing in that period between anxiety showing up and an anxiety attack happening? What — if anything — are you doing differently when anxiety shows up and doesn’t develop into an anxiety attack?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You are finding it hard to shift focus away from sleep at night.
It sounds like you might be trying to “not think” about sleep and/or trying to resist what might be out of your control. If that’s the case, it makes sense you’re finding that hard (and that your attempts have been largely unsuccessful).
When it comes to monitoring of sleep, there’s monitoring that’s in your control — constantly choosing to engage in the action of checking the time, writing down how much time you spend awake or asleep, etc. You can choose to stop that monitoring at any time.
There’s also monitoring that’s not in control — what your mind chooses to focus on, without your direction. In that case, trying to control your mind only sets the stage for a struggle with your problem-solving brain. Therefore, perhaps in that situation, letting go is about letting your mind do whatever it’s going to do anyway?
Sleep can still happen, no matter what your mind focuses on, no matter what thoughts it is generating, and no matter what feelings are present. Trying to control those things is what can often make things more difficult.
Is there anything useful here?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Mary! If your goal is to be out of bed at 7:00 AM, what is making you consider starting with an out of bed time other than 7:00 AM?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello @Haruto and thanks for sharing what you’ve been learning!
When it comes to practicing the AWAKE exercise, you might not notice any thoughts showing up — and, if that happens, there are no thoughts to acknowledge. That’s OK!
You might just acknowledge that you are awake and you might also acknowledge that, at the current time, you are not noticing any specific thoughts being present.
You can then move onto the W of the exercise and see if you notice any thoughts or feelings showing up as sensations in your body. If at any time you do notice a thought showing up, you can then acknowledge it and continue with the exercise.
Thanks to your strengths of self-reflection and self-awareness, you have made a connection between monitoring sleep and difficulty falling asleep. I am curious to know what you mean by “monitoring sleep”? If I saw you monitoring sleep, what would I see you doing?
You shared that you try to focus on your breathing when you notice that you are monitoring sleep. When you bring your attention to your breathing, what are you trying to achieve, and what are you learning from that action?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello @Bobbie21 and thanks for the update!
I am not sure anyone really knows how much sleep their body needs from day to day — just as I am not sure anyone really hows how many breaths their body needs from day to day!
And, trying to come up with an answer might be little more than a distraction since the body figures this out by itself.
Over the past week or two you have been reminded that your body knows how to generate what you’d consider to be “good” seep all by itself. You’ve also been reminded that sleep might be different from week to week and day to day.
Since your experience suggests that sleep is out of your direct control, I invite you to refocus attention toward what you can control — your actions.
When you wake at 4:00 AM, how are you responding? And, what are you learning from your chosen response?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Your brain is a thought generating machine ⚙️💭⚙️💭⚙️💭⚙️💭⚙️💭!
As it goes about its job of looking out for you, it’s going to produce a lot of thoughts and feelings. Some useful and relevant, some not useful and not relevant!
It sounds as though you are starting to lower your resistance to what your brain chooses to do. As a result, things are feeling better.
Your mind is still busy (it has an important job to do, after all) and every time you notice that happening you have the opportunity to choose how to respond.
You can try to fight, resist, control (and where does that get you?). Or, you can choose to acknowledge and make space for all those thoughts and feelings to flow.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you for sharing your experience.
You took your time working through the course. You stayed committed even when that commitment was hard. And, thanks to your efforts and your practice of what you learned, you are noticing that insomnia is losing its hold over you and your life.
Now, you are less likely to battle when you are awake. You are less likely to get pulled into a struggle with your mind when it generates difficult or uncomfortable thoughts and feelings.
As you loosen your grip, there’s a sense of release. A weight is being lifted. Your future seems to be filled with more opportunity.
I wish you all the best as you continue on your journey!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you so much for sharing!
You have been reminded that sleep doesn’t always happen as you might want it to! And, the more you are able to practice experiencing whatever happens without a battle and a struggle, the less power and influence sleep has over your life. As a bonus, the more you remove yourself from the process of sleep, the better able sleep is to take care of itself.
You have a strong awareness of the thoughts and feelings that your brain generates as it does its job of looking out for you. With that awareness, you are better able to make a conscious choice on how to respond.
Since your experience tells you that trying to fight or avoid certain feelings (like anxiety) only pulls you back into the quicksand, you’ve been practicing making space for feelings to come and go as they choose. As you shared, their presence doesn’t mean that sleep will not (or cannot) happen.
This new approach is resonating with you because you are putting it into practice and you are learning from what you are doing!
You are practicing skills, and skills develop with repeated and ongoing practice, over time.
Thanks again for sharing and I wish you all the best as you continue to move forward!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
As you shared, living a full and meaningful life comes with hard stuff. And not living a full and meaningful life can come with even “harder” stuff!
As for that button — imagine if we did have a controllable “on/off” switch for thoughts and feelings. What if we accidentally left the switch in the wrong position one day or we turned the switch one way and then couldn’t respond to an immediate threat or danger? 😬
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello @AnthonyE and thanks for sharing that you are noticing that nights when sleep doesn’t happen as you might want it to are starting to feel less difficult.
As you pointed out, having expectations (especially when it comes to things you can’t control — like sleep) can set the stage for some struggle. And, the thing about expectations is the best possible outcome from having them is neutral — because you expected them to happen!
With that being said, expectations don’t stop sleep from happening — just as thoughts and feelings don’t stop sleep from happening. What stops sleep from happening is trying to make sleep happen 😜
Your experience tells you that trying to make sleep happen only makes it more difficult. Your desire to resist that wakefulness is understandable and it isn’t serving you. You get to choose how to respond to that desire.
Reading can be an alternative to trying to make sleep happen (as long as your goal with reading isn’t to make sleep happen)! The AWAKE exercise might offer an alternative, too.
As pointed out by @ccummins — resistance can be subtle. And, just because you are awake that doesn’t mean there is resistance. It just means you are awake. And, being awake is a normal part of sleep.
There’s no obligation to practice the AWAKE exercise just because you are awake at night (you can simply rest and experience that wakefulness without doing anything with it). The AWAKE exercise is just a tool that’s available to you as an alternative way of responding when you notice a struggle happening.
That struggle might be your awareness that you are putting effort into sleep, putting pressure on yourself to sleep, trying to make sleep happen, and/or trying to fight or avoid whatever thoughts and feelings are showing up.
Is there anything useful here?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
