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It sounds as though your experience is telling you that you haven’t lost the ability to sleep — you can sleep on that uncomfortable sofa, after all!
It also sounds as though sleeping in your own bed is more aligned with the life you want to live. If that’s the case, how are you going to move toward that goal?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Some people find it useful to reflect on this question: What does my experience tell me about my ability to make calmness happen, to make relaxation happen, or to delete anxiety from my mind?
If your experience suggests this is out of your control, how are ongoing (yet understandable!) attempts to control what cannot be controlled going to help you?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
This is a great question!
To me, “I will move away from efforts or rituals” to make sleep happen means being aware of, and making the choice on whether (or not) to do something with the intent/goal of making sleep happen.
As an example, reading a book because you enjoy reading and find that pleasant would not be an effort or a ritual to make sleep happen. Reading a book in an attempt to make sleep happen might be.
Only you know the true intent or goal behind your actions, since you are the expert on you!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
When you wake during the night and try to relax and listen to a podcast, what is your goal? When those things work, what happens?
If you have no intention to fall back to sleep when you get out of bed at 2:00 AM and drink some coffee, what makes that an issue?
You are recognizing that you are on a journey — and with any journey there will be ups and downs and there is always something to learn!
PS: You have access to the client area (including all course content and this forum) for six months, starting from the day you enrolled.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Your problem-solving brain is generating thoughts like, “Will I sleep again?” and “How will I progress from here?” as it does its job of looking out for you (thanks, brain!).
Thoughts themselves don’t usually require a lot of energy to produce. Trying to fight, avoid, or control them probably does require a lot of energy.
As you shared, an alternative to engaging in an exhausting and endless battle with these thoughts is to acknowledge them and to make space for them. To allow them to be present.
An understandable concern is that if you make space for them, maybe they’ll stay longer. When you don’t make space for them, do they quickly disappear and never return?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
This is a powerful insight. For change to happen, change needs to happen! It’s easy to get trapped in the struggle because change can be scary and change can be really hard.
You are responding to this insight with a growth mindset. Thanks to your strengths of self-reflection, honesty, and curiosity, you are learning and you are making progress. You’ve recognized and acknowledged the opportunity that now lies in front of you!
I wish you all the best as you continue to move forward
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
The support on offer here is wonderful
The more we chase after sleep the more elusive it can become. And, there’s no such thing as being back to square one because you are always learning and you are always growing.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Great question, @seana — and it was answered well by @Baukje
After a difficult night, sleep pressure will be higher because sleep pressure builds with every minute of wakefulness. So, if you continue to observe your sleep window, sleep becomes more likely on subsequent nights — but there’s never any certainty about what sleep will be like from night to night.
The fundamental thing is this — your body will always generate, at the very least, the minimum amount of sleep it needs. All you need to do is give sleep the opportunity to happen
What have you learned from your own experience since you originally posted your question?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You’re allowing yourself to go to bed within an hour of the start of your sleep window, which gives your body the opportunity to generate more sleep if conditions feel right for that to happen. You are also building skill in expanding the focus of your attention by acknowledging the good stuff that can be present (even when things are difficult) by practicing the three good things exercise.
Two full nights of sleep in a row is evidence that you are capable of generating full nights of sleep. It doesn’t mean there won’t be ups and downs in the future, but it proves that your sleep system is capable and functional!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Difficult nights can definitely make the days more difficult. If only there was a magic switch we could flip to make the exact amount and type of sleep that we want to get happen! Unfortunately, there isn’t — and any ongoing (and understandable!) attempts to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen tends to make everything more difficult.
As @hapsong offered, practicing refocusing on where you are and what you are doing when you find yourself getting distracted can be useful, as can being kind to yourself. This feels difficult because it is difficult. Remember: You have come this far thanks to your superpower of resilience. You can draw from it.
For as long as you are alive, your brain is always working. And, for as long as you are giving your body the opportunity to sleep, your body will always generate — at the very least — the minimum amount of sleep it needs.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It sounds as though your experience is telling you that the more you try to control and troubleshoot sleep, the more complicated and difficult it seems to become.
Since you are the expert on you, what do you think you should do, @hapsong?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
As you’ve discovered, you aren’t alone here @Pooochiny!
It sounds as though your experience is telling you that trying to make yourself feel calm and trying to get rid of certain thoughts and feelings can make them even more difficult and give them more power and influence over your life.
What might an alternative way of responding to these difficult thoughts and feelings look like?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
There’s so much great support and empathy on show here. A reminder that nobody struggling with insomnia is alone.
@Baukje: From your opening post, it sounds as though your brain is reminding you that what you have planned matters to you. It’s reminding you how much you love and care for the people around you. What might be the best way to respond to that information?—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You are committing to action and you are also giving yourself some flexibility, too.
There’s nothing unusual in finding it hard to stay awake for the start of the sleep window. Some people have found it helpful to make the hour before their sleep window begins the last time they check the time and then they simply go to bed whenever they feel ready to go to bed.
That might be a potential experiment to consider
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
This feels difficult because it is difficult.
Thanks to your superpowers of problem-solving and self-advocacy you reached out to your psychiatrist and now have a plan in place.
It’s totally possible to continue to practice what you’re learning in the course regardless of whether you are taking medication or not. And, the more practice you get, the more skilled you become.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
