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Measuring progress by what you do each day and all the good things you notice and experience sounds like a more workable way forward compared to measuring progress based on how much sleep you might get from night to night!
It sounds like you also want to make a conscious effort to get up in the morning and get on with your day rather than choosing to sit there adding up how much sleep you got.
It’s natural and normal to want sleep to happen, even though the AWAKE exercise isn’t intended to make sleep happen. And, it’s OK to have thoughts about hoping sleep will happen!
As you suggested, a workable way of dealing with those thoughts might be acknowledging them and making space for them to come and go — rather than trying to resist them!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Molly!
There’s a possibility that diving back into the course temporarily increased your attention toward sleep and that, in turn, can lead to more monitoring for sleep and might make sleep more difficult in the short-term. There’s also a possibility that a warm evening might have made sleep more difficult.
Ultimately, there’s no way to know for sure what was behind a night (or nights) when sleep doesn’t happen as you might want it to. And, trying to figure that out when it’s not clear and obvious is a potential source of struggle — since sleep is out of your direct control anyway.
All human beings will experience nights when sleep doesn’t happen as they want it to happen — just as all human beings will experience days that don’t happen as they want them to.
You shared that you tried to practice the AWAKE exercise when you found yourself struggling. There is no need to get your mind still to get the practice in. It can be harder to focus, for sure, and when you notice your focus drifting you have the opportunity to kindly notice that and bring your focus back to the exercise, over and over.
The AWAKE exercise cannot make sleep happen. Your brain might tell you that it is supposed to — and that’s a thought you can acknowledge and allow to be present since it’s a thought. Nothing more, nothing less.
It sounds as though you might believe acceptance = no fear or difficult thoughts and feelings. That’s not the case.
Acceptance is about accepting you cannot control those things and that for as long as you try to resist, fight, or avoid them, they only gain more power and influence, get more difficult, and keep you struggling and feeling stuck.
Acceptance is also far easier said than done. It requires ongoing practice!
It’s good to know you are still able to acknowledge and give yourself credit for the progress you are making. You are noticing more resilience, your ability to continue doing things that matter, and your awareness of the good stuff that is still around you even when things are difficult.
It’s impossible to “undo” progress because progress is based on action and is supported by your experience. The only way you can move backwards is to permanently forget everything you’ve learned up to now and to deliberately commit to actions that you know only make things more difficult and keep you stuck.
You’re going through a difficult patch, Molly — and those patches can be really difficult. You’ve got through them before and you can get through them again.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You’ve noticed that even when good nights happen, anxiety still shows up — and that perhaps serves as a reminder than anxiety is a natural and normal human emotion that shows up independently of sleep.
As you continue to practice what you’re learning in the course and thanks to your supplementary reading, you are noticing that anxiety can show up without it consuming your energy and attention and without it having a huge amount of power and influence over you.
And that is the benefit that can come with acknowledgment, acceptance, opening up, and making space for anxiety — rather than resisting, battling, fighting, avoiding, and struggling with it!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the course 🙂
Your experience has taught you a lot and you are ready to move forward in a different way. I get the sense that you are committed to action and that you’ll get a lot out of the course.
I wish you all the best with it!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for the great question about whether or not you should go to bed before your sleep window begins if you fall asleep before 9:00 PM.
What guidance does your experience offer on this? When you go to bed before your sleep window, how does the night tend to go?
Is going to bed/falling asleep before 9:00 PM something that reflects the life you want to live and moves you closer to where you want to be?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Sorry to hear that Doris — and thank you for raising this in the forum.
What, specifically, are you finding hard to understand about the sleep window? If you could share some specific questions, I’ll see what I can do to help!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I don’t know if falling asleep on the couch before your sleep window begins is a bad thing or not — you are the expert on you and so only you know whether or not an action is problematic. What does your experience tell you about that?
Regardless of when you fall asleep at night, what opportunities are there to practice the three good things exercise at another point in the day or evening?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That jittery feeling and neck tension sounds difficult and it’s something I’ve heard described by others, too. How do you currently respond to those issues and what have you learned from your response?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Erik! I believe that Lu shared what she felt comfortable sharing in the podcast episode — I didn’t take anything out.
I think what made the voice memo so helpful for Lu was that she came up with it herself. That made it an appropriate, relevant, and useful practice for her.
It can, of course, be helpful to use what others have found helpful as a guide — but I’d encourage you to play around, to modify, and to come up with something that comes from within you!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Helene!
You are practicing what you are learning from the course and that is what counts and that is what provides the learning opportunities!
First of all, remember that a sleep window can’t make a certain amount or type of sleep happen. It’s simply a tool intended to help with moving away from chasing after sleep.
The second A in AWAKE (allow) is often the most difficult part of the exercise. And, if you want to build skill in experiencing difficult thoughts and feelings without them jerking you around and pulling you into a struggle, it might be worth the additional effort to practice that part.
Insomnia typically gets better when we are no longer engaged in a battle with it. When we are no longer actively resisting it. When we are doing what matters each day, whether it shows up or not.
The more we try to get rid of insomnia, the more fuel we offer it. When we remove ourselves from the process of sleep, sleep has the best opportunity to take care of itself!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
This is a common question, so I am going to post what I usually share about this below:
Melatonin does not trigger sleep. Melatonin is more of a signal for sleep. The body releases a pulse of melatonin at a certain point in the evening and a few hours later we become ready for sleep.
This pulse of melatonin usually happens around two or three hours before our usual bedtime but it’s impossible to know exactly when this happens without lab testing. Any supplemental melatonin you might take after this pulse happens is ignored by the body.
“But what if I get lucky and manage to take a melatonin supplement before my body triggers this melatonin signal?” I hear you ask.
Well, nothing really happens because people with chronic insomnia do not have a problem with melatonin production or melatonin regulation!
Another problem with melatonin is that, in the United States, it is not regulated by the FDA. As a result, what you get in the tub may not be the same as what is described on the label.
A 2017 study investigated the content of 30 commercial melatonin supplements. It found that melatonin content was between 83% less and 478% more than the labeled content! Furthermore, eight contained serotonin — a controlled substance used in the treatment of several neurological disorders.
As for sleep medication, none can generate sleep (and sedation is not the same as sleep) — a lot of the benefit of sleep medication or any other supplement might be attributed to delegation. We take the pill and all the effort we might have put into sleep and/or all the pressure there might have been to make sleep happen is now given to the pill.
And, the absence of effort and pressure is what creates significantly better conditions for sleep to happen!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Cata!
Everyone’s experience with the sleep window is different and that can make more sense when we consider that a sleep window isn’t intended to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen.
Ultimately, the sleep window is just one tool that is intended to help us move away from chasing after sleep — something that only makes it more elusive and more difficult (and gives it more power and influence over our lives).
You are noticing that you feel sleepy until you get in bed, when your brain fires up to protect you from the battle and the struggle it predicts is about to happen. It’s doing its job of looking out for you.
At this point, you get to decide how to respond. Do you fight and battle, trying to make sleep happen, trying to get rid of thoughts and feelings? Or, do you practice acknowledging whatever is happening, making space for it to exist, being more of an observer rather than an opponent?
(And which of those two options might help train your brain that wakefulness isn’t a threat it needs to fire up to protect you from?)
When your alarm goes off, it’s hard to get out of bed. The pressure to perform sleep is off. The brain is no longer preparing you for battle!
Your description of feeling asleep but awake at the same time sounds similar to how sleep is often described — especially the lighter stages of sleep. Nothing particularly unusual there.
Is there anything useful here, Cata?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome back — you put things on hold because that felt right at the time. Now you’re back and ready to continue moving forward! I wish you all the best!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I am not sure how to offer more clarification on this, Wendy — and I can only apologize for any ongoing confusion.
The Week 3 action plan says:
Continue with a sleep window if you feel that’s useful — give yourself an earliest possible bedtime, stop checking the time when it begins, only go to bed when sleepy enough for sleep, and get out of bed by the end of your sleep window each day.
The earliest possible bedtime is the start of your sleep window.
When your sleep window begins, you no longer check the time and you refrain from checking the time until your sleep window ends.
If this is still unclear, please let me know. If this still feels confusing, please share a step-by-step example of what you’re doing and I might be able to offer some further guidance.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Good on you for playing around with this!
Not everyone notices thoughts or feelings showing up in their physical body. What matters is simply giving yourself the opportunity to notice. You might find something, you might not.
The goal isn’t to find or notice anything. It’s simply to look. To be open to looking, finding, noticing, and acknowledging.
It shouldn’t be thought of as a distraction — distraction doesn’t work because thoughts and feelings come and go as they choose. We can temporarily distract but all the stuff we distract ourselves from only comes back.
Instead, it’s an opportunity to build skill in openness, curiosity, acknowledgement, and being present.
I’d also add that you don’t need to connect a physical sensation such as tension in your hamstrings to a specific thought or feeling. You can simply notice the physical sensation and acknowledge its presence.
Finally, sleep can be a bonus side-effect that comes from less resistance and being more comfortable with being awake and experiencing all the thoughts and feelings that might be showing up.
If that happens, by all means enjoy — and remember that it’s not the goal or the intention of the AWAKE exercise.
The intention is to practice building skill in experiencing wakefulness, the thoughts, the feelings, with less struggle. Being more of an observer rather than an opponent.
I hope there’s something useful here!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
