Martin Reed

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  • in reply to: A “dip” while on work travel #80021
    Martin Reed
    ★ Admin

    Good on you for attending all the events and meetings on your trip, independently of sleep. I am sure that was not easy! Your strengths of determination, tenacity, persistence, and commitment all shined through and supported you with that committed action.

    Travel can make sleep more difficult, as can perhaps billions of other things that come with living a rich and meaningful life. And, concern about sleep is easily identified as the source of struggle (and sometimes perhaps it is).

    Often, the true source of struggle is our intervention or involvement in the process of sleep — the pressure we might put on ourselves to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen, the effort we might put into sleep, the attempts to fight or avoid certain thoughts and feelings that might show up with (or after) nighttime wakefulness.

    It’s great to hear the you used some of the tools from the course — practice is what matters. Taking action.

    You said they came with limited success. Just so we are clear, when you practiced the AWAKE exercise, what was your goal or intent? If it was more successful, what would have been different?

    When you practiced acting in alignment with your values, what was your goal or intent? If it was more successful, what would have been different?

    If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Clarity program.

    The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

    in reply to: I feel sad #80018
    Martin Reed
    ★ Admin

    Ups and downs are natural and normal and are part of progress (and being a human being). What matters is how you respond to difficult nights. What do you think is the most workable way to respond, based on your experience and based on what you’ve explored (and practiced) in the course so far?

    If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Clarity program.

    The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

    in reply to: Chest Anxiety #80016
    Martin Reed
    ★ Admin

    Hello edlung — and thank you for chiming in Packer Fan 🙂

    It can be very frustrating how the mind and body seems to want to work against us so much of the time! And yet, the mind and body is never intentionally working against us. It’s working for us. Looking out for us. Trying its best to keep us alive, safe, and doing what matters.

    It sounds as though your mind is firing up all systems in an effort to protect you from what the night might bring. That makes sense since it’s something that has created a struggle for so long — so your mind sees it as a threat and is doing its job of looking out for you and preparing you for battle.

    Just as your brain learned that night is a threat and it needs to activate action stations to protect you as night approaches, it can also learn that night is not a threat and that it doesn’t need to activate action stations to keep you safe.

    How might you practice that retraining, do you think?

    If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Clarity program.

    The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

    in reply to: Overcoming Fear #80012
    Martin Reed
    ★ Admin

    At times like this it can be helpful to reflect on (and remind ourselves of) what we can control.

    If our experience tells us that we cannot control our thoughts and feelings — if it’s impossible to permanently delete them through effort, then perhaps we need to focus our efforts on what we can control. Actions. How we respond to our thoughts and feelings.

    And, when it comes to measuring progress, perhaps it’s helpful to do that based on what we can control, too.

    So, instead of measuring progress based on what we are thinking and feeling, perhaps we measure progress based on the action-based practice we are getting in. The times we are doing what matters, even in the presence of difficult thoughts and feelings. The times we are practicing and building skill in acknowledging thoughts and feelings and observing them instead of battling and struggle with them. The times we are being kind to ourselves, rather than hard on ourselves.

    In other words, for as long as we practice, we make progress. Practice is progress.

    If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Clarity program.

    The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

    in reply to: Discouraged #80008
    Martin Reed
    ★ Admin

    Hello Rozey — thank you for sharing and it is so good to see all the support being offered by others here 🙂

    First of all: Good on you for continuing to live by your values — that’s a reflection of your strengths of tenacity, determination, and resilience.

    Difficult nights and ups and downs are natural and normal. They come with being a human being and they should be expected. Of course, that doesn’t mean they aren’t going to feel discouraging when they happen and your problem-solving brain is going to respond by generating all kinds of thoughts and feelings and stories (it’s usually a big fan of “what if” stories). Thanks, brain!

    Since your brain is only doing its job there’s not a lot you can do about that. However, you always get to choose how you respond. And, by continuing to live by your values you are responding in a workable way.

    Make sure you are also being kind to yourself when things feel difficult. Acknowledge what you are thinking and feeling, and continue to act in ways that keep you moving toward the life you want to live.

    For as long as you continue to do that, all this stuff will lose its power and influence over your life. And, as it loses its power and influence it will consume less of your energy and attention and it’ll often become less noticeable and might even show up less often.

    If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Clarity program.

    The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

    in reply to: Body sensations #80006
    Martin Reed
    ★ Admin

    Good on you for continuing to practice the AWAKE exercise when uncomfortable body sensations show up. What is your goal or intent when you get that practice in?

    As you have experienced, difficult thoughts and feelings are going to show up. You don’t need to be “OK” with that — you simply have a choice of what to do when they show up.

    You can battle with them as you try to get rid of them (and that just makes them stronger and more difficult, as you shared) or you can acknowledge them, allow them to come and go as they choose (even though you might rather they weren’t present at all), be more of an observer of them, be kind to yourself, and practice experiencing them with less struggle.

    Which approach feels most workable to you? Is there an alternative to these two options (and if so, what is it)?

    If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Clarity program.

    The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

    in reply to: Sleep window, conditioned arousal question #80004
    Martin Reed
    ★ Admin

    Thanks for sharing that awareness — it’s interesting how our mindset and intention can change as soon as bedtime approaches and how that change can set us up for a struggle. Thanks to the awareness you shared, you now have a greater opportunity to respond differently.

    I think you shared a big insight that all your attempts to fight or avoid thoughts and feelings don’t permanently eliminate those thoughts and feelings. So, an approach of “fight or avoid” might be a bit of a waste of your energy and attention — and might also pull you away from meaningful actions that reflect who you are and the life you want to live.

    Thanks to your own willingness to explore this with a curious mind and to experiment with making some changes, you have noticed that acceptance can lead to less struggle since you are no longer responding by going to war with your mind or with being awake. As a bonus side-effect, this often creates better conditions for sleep to happen, too 🙂

    If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Clarity program.

    The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

    in reply to: AWAKE process #80002
    Martin Reed
    ★ Admin

    Thanks for sharing, @Bsue — and good on you for getting some practice in with the AWAKE exercise and the 3 Good Things exercise! You are making change happen by taking action!

    Many people find the AWAKE exercise difficult and clunky at first — there’s a lot there and a lot to remember (and play around with)! As with any skill, it tends to get a bit easier with ongoing practice. As you shared, the AWAKE exercise is aligned in many ways with meditation — acknowledging and observing rather than controlling and battling.

    In what ways is the 3 Good Things exercise proving to be positive for you?

    If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Clarity program.

    The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

    in reply to: New #80000
    Martin Reed
    ★ Admin

    It sounds as though sleep meds don’t make you feel good, come with side-effects, and the action of taking them isn’t aligned with who you are or who you want to be. It also sounds as though they generate more anxiety and worry.

    What’s good about continuing to take medication? What would be bad about moving away from medication? Upon reflection, what do you feel you’d like to do with the medication and how will you make that happen?

    If sleep is a concern, your problem-solving mind is going to generate thoughts about it. That’s its job. And, with difficult thoughts often come difficult feelings and bodily sensations (although if you are concerned about chest tightness I would encourage you to get that checked out by a doctor).

    Since this stuff doesn’t feel good, we are naturally inclined to try to get rid of these thoughts and feelings — which makes complete sense. And yet, that often draws us into a struggle that makes things more difficult and consumes more of our energy and attention. What might things be like if thoughts and feelings could come and go as they pleased, without them creating such a struggle?

    We’ll be exploring this in more detail in Week 2 — but, in the meantime, have you tried responding to these thoughts with an acknowledgement (rather than starting a battle) and perhaps even thanking your brain for looking out for you (thanks, brain!)?

    If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Clarity program.

    The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

    in reply to: Hoping to get off medications #79998
    Martin Reed
    ★ Admin

    You are definitely not a failure — you are clearly a great self-advocate for yourself and you demonstrate great awareness of who you are and who you want to be.

    You are taking medication and supplements because you feel that’s right for you — and you are the expert on you.

    Many people who are taking medication or supplements (but don’t want to be) find that working through this course and committing to behavioral change gives them alternative options and more confidence to start moving away from medication and supplements when they are ready to do so.

    As suggested by @hiker, it’s important not to make any changes to your medication without talking to your doctor first (as I am sure you are very aware off, as a retired nurse)!

    If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Clarity program.

    The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

    in reply to: Set an alarm? #79996
    Martin Reed
    ★ Admin

    Setting an alarm clock can be helpful — otherwise, how will you be sure to get out of bed by the end of your sleep window while also not checking the time during your sleep window?

    If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Clarity program.

    The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

    in reply to: Sleep window calculation #79994
    Martin Reed
    ★ Admin

    Great question! I would suggest calculating a sleep window based on how you are currently sleeping, regardless of whether you are taking medication or not. And, starting with the time you want to be getting out of bed to start your day can be helpful.

    Remember that you don’t calculate a sleep window based on the sleep you want to be getting — it’s based on the sleep you are currently getting.

    Does this help?

    If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Clarity program.

    The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

    in reply to: Sleeping on the Couch #79992
    Martin Reed
    ★ Admin

    Where you sleep is completely up to you! You might ask yourself this — is sleeping on the couch an action that reflects who you are, who you want to be, and is it an action that moves you closer to the life you want to live? If yes — great! If not, why continue to pursue such an action?

    Bonus question: Is avoidance of wakefulness a workable long-term strategy?

    PS: If you can sleep on the couch then you can sleep anywhere else, if that’s what you choose to do!

    If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Clarity program.

    The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

    in reply to: Multiple nights no sleep #79762
    Martin Reed
    ★ Admin

    Your honest introspection, awareness, and desire and willingness to learn are all strengths that will serve you well as you continue to work through the course and practice what you’ll be exploring here 🙂

    If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Clarity program.

    The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

    in reply to: Nap or no? #79760
    Martin Reed
    ★ Admin

    It seems that naps might influence your sleep at night and they might not. Of course, daytime sleep can reduce sleep drive and that will be less of an issue the earlier a nap is taken and the shorter it is in length. So, with all this in mind, perhaps in connection to sleep at night, daytime naps might be “neutral”.

    What about when it comes to living the life you want to live? Do you have to say “no” to things that move you toward the life you want to live in order to say “yes” to a nap? In other words, does napping move you closer to the life you want to live or further away from the life you want to live?

    As you might be realizing, there’s no clear and universal answer to whether naps are “good” or “bad” here. What matters most is your intent — what you are trying to achieve and how workable that is as a goal.

    If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Clarity program.

    The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 5,218 total)