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Things are really difficult for you right now.
It makes sense that you can’t stop thinking about sleep. I am yet to meet anyone who can permanently delete certain thoughts and feelings from their brains. Quite often, the more we try to do that (which is totally understandable) the more difficult those things become (and the more we struggle).
You understand that trying to control or chase after sleep isn’t a workable strategy. What are you doing — or what do you need to do — to put that understanding into practice?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You are not alone. You are dealing with the insomnia struggle and that is hard. The Insomnia Coach podcast contains the stories of many others who were once in the same situation you find yourself in.
It sounds as though what you are doing right now isn’t working for you. What do you want to do differently?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I wish you all the best with it!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
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—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for the great question!
Let’s say your sleep window begins at 10:00 PM. From 10:00 PM you aren’t check the time until your sleep window ends. You might still have an awareness of the time, but you aren’t deliberately engaging in clock-watching during your sleep window.
Does that answer your question?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks to your willingness to experiment and play around with what’s shared in the course, you’ve been practicing the AWAKE exercise and found it helpful.
You’ve also found it beneficial to focus on trying to rest (an action that’s in your control) versus trying to sleep (something you cannot make happen through effort).
Paradoxical intention is another tool that can help you move away from putting effort into sleep and is something you are thinking about playing around with and seeing what you learn from it.
As you pointed out, the logic of what is shared in the course makes sense — and the brain can be stubborn to change! The only way to train your brain is to get in the reps. Get in the practice. Over and over again 🙂
With that in mind, it’s encouraging to know you are practicing patience and being kind to yourself as you make change happen!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello @Johnb 🙂
I’d suggest basing a sleep window on how an average night has been over the past couple of weeks or so. Then, you can adjust it each week or two — if appropriate — based on how that week or two went.
Does this help bring some clarity to implementing a sleep window when sleep feels a bit erratic?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You have a powerful self-awareness and a real strength in honesty and self-reflection. By reflecting on your experience, you noticed that going to bed earlier than usual only seemed to set you up for more struggle — and it sounds like you have decided to make a change in response to that awareness.
Practicing a sleep window can be harder when you travel — in that situation it can be helpful to be mindful of why you are going to bed when you go to bed (are you chasing after sleep or are you going to bed because you are sleepy) and to be mindful of when you start your day (are you staying in bed later to chase after sleep or are you getting out of bed because it’s time to live your life and do what matters).
There are advantages to being flexible. Ultimately you know that chasing after sleep only makes it more difficult. The sleep window is simply a tool that’s intended to help you move away from chasing after sleep — it’s not the required, the best, or the only tool, though. Your own awareness of the intent behind your actions can be just as powerful!
I’ll also add that perhaps all the stuff you do when awake and traveling has far more influence over whether or not you live a rich and meaningful life compared to how you sleep when you travel!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You are an action-taker and decided to experiment with making a change after acknowledging that your sleep window was too long.
It sounds like you feel your new sleep window is more appropriate compared to before — and that insight wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t make change happen, Bobbi!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you for sharing your honest experience and insights!
There’s so much value in what you shared. It’s so easy to be hard on ourselves when things are difficult — and that doesn’t usually help us a whole lot!
By being kind to yourself, continuing to do things that matter, and identifying every step of your journey as learning opportunities (rather than successes or failures) you have moved away from an ongoing struggle.
You practiced expanding the focus of your attention to help you be more present and to notice more of the good stuff around you, even when things were difficult. You moved forward with patience.
You’ve clearly learned a lot, and you’ve grown and taken a lot from your experience. I wish you all the best as you continue to move forward!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Marina!
It’s so easy to get pulled back into a struggle. Your awareness of when that might be happening is a strength since it gives you the opportunity to respond differently.
When your brain goes into overdrive it can feel as though you need to solve and fix. And you get to decide whether or not you try to solve and fix (and how you try to solve and fix).
You know from experience what a workable response looks like and what an unworkable response looks like. You have the experience, wisdom, and expertise within you!
Acceptance isn’t something that’s required for sleep to happen. It’s something to work toward. And, ultimately, acceptance is about recognizing what’s in your control and what’s not in your control — because when you try to control what’s out of your control (sleep, thoughts, feelings) you only end up stuck in the quicksand!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Great question!
My six-week course actually focuses on how to move away from trying to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen and how to build skill in experiencing whatever sleep shows up (and whatever thoughts and feelings show up — day or night) in a way that doesn’t create more difficulty and struggle.
So, there is still energy and effort required — but it’s not being directed toward sleep. It’s being directed toward workable action.
The idea is this — the less we try to control sleep, the best opportunity it has to take care of itself. The less we try to control our minds, the best opportunity we have to live the life we want to live, no matter what thoughts and feelings show up.
In effect, all this stuff becomes more like water off a duck’s back. It no longer consumes our focus and attention. We get to live the life we want to live and sleep gets to take care of itself.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It looks like you’ve enrolled in the paid six-week course since posting, but for the benefits of others who may be reading this:
Many people, like @sleep, have found the free sleep training course for insomnia helpful and it was all they needed.
And, some clients shared their experience with the different options of the six-week Insomnia Coach course in this thread.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Your experience seems to tell you that sleep and difficult thoughts and feelings are out of your direct control and that actions that matter and are important to you (such as attending a wedding) are in your direct control.
As you shared, you can stop running or doing other things that really matter to you in an attempt to sleep better — and what kind of life would that be?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I don’t have personal experience with that medication but what I can say is this — I am yet to meet someone with chronic insomnia who identified any specific medication as the long-term solution to their struggle with sleep. And, quite often, medication can come with virtually the same side-effects associated with insomnia that we are trying to avoid!
That’s not to say that medication is the “enemy” or even a problem — just that it doesn’t seem to be the long-term solution that many people are looking for.
You shared that you’ve tried alternatives to medication — and sometimes CBT techniques can trip us up as they can easily become a whole new set of sleep efforts (and sleep doesn’t usually respond well to effort).
An alternative approach could involve something more aligned with ACT for insomnia — what shows up for you when you consider that kind of approach?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
