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Thank you for sharing your honest experience and insights!
There’s so much value in what you shared. It’s so easy to be hard on ourselves when things are difficult — and that doesn’t usually help us a whole lot!
By being kind to yourself, continuing to do things that matter, and identifying every step of your journey as learning opportunities (rather than successes or failures) you have moved away from an ongoing struggle.
You practiced expanding the focus of your attention to help you be more present and to notice more of the good stuff around you, even when things were difficult. You moved forward with patience.
You’ve clearly learned a lot, and you’ve grown and taken a lot from your experience. I wish you all the best as you continue to move forward!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Marina!
It’s so easy to get pulled back into a struggle. Your awareness of when that might be happening is a strength since it gives you the opportunity to respond differently.
When your brain goes into overdrive it can feel as though you need to solve and fix. And you get to decide whether or not you try to solve and fix (and how you try to solve and fix).
You know from experience what a workable response looks like and what an unworkable response looks like. You have the experience, wisdom, and expertise within you!
Acceptance isn’t something that’s required for sleep to happen. It’s something to work toward. And, ultimately, acceptance is about recognizing what’s in your control and what’s not in your control — because when you try to control what’s out of your control (sleep, thoughts, feelings) you only end up stuck in the quicksand!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Great question!
My six-week course actually focuses on how to move away from trying to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen and how to build skill in experiencing whatever sleep shows up (and whatever thoughts and feelings show up — day or night) in a way that doesn’t create more difficulty and struggle.
So, there is still energy and effort required — but it’s not being directed toward sleep. It’s being directed toward workable action.
The idea is this — the less we try to control sleep, the best opportunity it has to take care of itself. The less we try to control our minds, the best opportunity we have to live the life we want to live, no matter what thoughts and feelings show up.
In effect, all this stuff becomes more like water off a duck’s back. It no longer consumes our focus and attention. We get to live the life we want to live and sleep gets to take care of itself.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It looks like you’ve enrolled in the paid six-week course since posting, but for the benefits of others who may be reading this:
Many people, like @sleep, have found the free sleep training course for insomnia helpful and it was all they needed.
And, some clients shared their experience with the different options of the six-week Insomnia Coach course in this thread.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Your experience seems to tell you that sleep and difficult thoughts and feelings are out of your direct control and that actions that matter and are important to you (such as attending a wedding) are in your direct control.
As you shared, you can stop running or doing other things that really matter to you in an attempt to sleep better — and what kind of life would that be?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I don’t have personal experience with that medication but what I can say is this — I am yet to meet someone with chronic insomnia who identified any specific medication as the long-term solution to their struggle with sleep. And, quite often, medication can come with virtually the same side-effects associated with insomnia that we are trying to avoid!
That’s not to say that medication is the “enemy” or even a problem — just that it doesn’t seem to be the long-term solution that many people are looking for.
You shared that you’ve tried alternatives to medication — and sometimes CBT techniques can trip us up as they can easily become a whole new set of sleep efforts (and sleep doesn’t usually respond well to effort).
An alternative approach could involve something more aligned with ACT for insomnia — what shows up for you when you consider that kind of approach?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum!
Your experience seems to be telling you that anxiety is out of your direct control. The more you try to fight or avoid it, the more difficult it becomes. The more power and influence it has over your life. The more you get pulled away from doing things that matter. The more you struggle. The more stuck you feel.
That’s a hard situation to be in.
What might things be like if you could experience anxiety with less resistance? So it showed up and became more like water off a duck’s back rather than something that drew you into an exhausting and endless battle?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum!
Stress triggered some sleep disruption and you’ve identified that ongoing analysis of sleep (and perhaps effort to make it happen) created a struggle and kept the difficulty going — although you feel you are on the mend now, and feeling a lot better.
You want to get an extra hour of sleep. What would you be doing differently with your life if you got that extra hour of sleep?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I get the impression that moving away from mirtazapine is an action that is important to you. And, as an action, it’s within your control.
Withdrawing from medication (or experiencing any kind of change) can affect sleep. And, sleep seems to be something that’s out of your control.
It seems that what this comes down to now is how you want to respond to sleep not happening as you want it to happen — whether that’s caused by the medication withdrawal or not (and whether that’s caused by Cyclothymia or Bipolar II or not).
What I would like to do is reassure you of something important. The human body doesn’t require any kind of medication for sleep to happen. That doesn’t mean that medication is never appropriate — just that sleep can still happen, medication or not.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum!
You’ve done a lot to make sleep the best it can be. And, it makes complete sense that you want to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen!
When sleep doesn’t happen as you want it to, you are running at 70% of your potential. What do you do differently (not think and feel — but do) when you are running at 70% of your potential versus 100% of your potential?
From reading your post, it sounds like the more you try to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen, the more complicated it can become and the more likely you are to get pulled away from the life you want to live.
You want an active social life. You want to travel more. You don’t want to live like a zombie. You want a rich, full, and meaningful life.
To answer your question — you might sleep longer and you might not. You might feel better on more days and you might not (I am not sure any human being feels great every single day!).
It seems that those things are out of your direct control although your actions — how you choose to live your life in response — is in your direct control.
As the expert on yourself, what do you feel is the most workable way forward?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You have started implementing a sleep window, thanks to your commitment to action and willingness to make change happen.
You are noticing the reappearance of sleepiness, which is a reminder that your sleep system is working just as it should be working.
You have also noticed that when there is no pressure, effort, or “requirement” to sleep you are more likely to experience a strong sense of sleepiness (and maybe sleep, too!).
When you go to bed, something changes — maybe there’s more pressure and more effort. Perhaps your brain might also be firing up to prepare you for the struggle it predicts is about to happen, and protect you from the “threat” it believes that being awake at night has become.
As you shared, you have the option to get out of bed in response. And, you can stay in bed, too. What might matter most here is exploring how you might be able to reduce that pressure and that effort — and how, through your choice of actions, you might help train your brain that wakefulness isn’t a threat it needs to be alert to protect you from.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum! You’ve been through a lot over the past fifteen years — and that means you’ve also learned a lot. It sounds like you have decided you need to do something different, and CBT is one option. What makes it feel like that’s the direction you need to go?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
When you put pressure on yourself to make sleep happen, it becomes more difficult. When you try to get rid of anxiety, it seems to become more powerful, difficult, and influential.
You don’t want to be the person who stops working because of how you might or might not sleep. You are good at your job!
You can’t stick to a consistent sleep schedule while working shifts and the more you chase after sleep the more elusive it seems to become.
Based on what you’ve shared, what opportunities are there to approach things differently?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Setbacks and ups and downs are a normal part of any journey.
Sometimes they can show up for clear and obvious reasons, and sometimes not. What matters is how you respond because your response is what determines whether you get pulled back into a struggle or continue to move in the direction you want to be heading.
You have been reminded of your ability to continue doing things that matter, even when anxiety and panic show up — and even when sleep doesn’t happen as you might want it to happen.
You don’t like being awake, and you are responding to it by choosing not to battle it (something you know only makes it more difficult). You also notice frustration, which is a normal human emotion.
A change in routine can have a short-term impact on sleep. And, I suspect you have found the right answer on how to deal with this — keep on keeping on! Keep on responding in a workable way. Keep on experiencing all the difficult stuff that’s out of your control by making space for it rather than going to war with it because that only creates a struggle and makes everything more difficult.
It sounds like you are on the right track to me! You’ve learned a lot and you are putting what you’ve learned into action!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You are seeing things in a new light because of the actions you’ve taken as you worked through the course.
You are living a values-based life, independently of sleep. You are closer to the life you want to live because of your commitment to values-based action.
As you continue to do that, fatigue and sleep is less likely to be labeled as a problem that your problem-solving brain needs to focus on and try to “fix”. That gives those things the opportunity to take care of themselves.
You’ve reclaimed your life, Shelley — and that’s all down to you!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
