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Cindy also shared a lot of good stuff in our podcast discussion: How Cindy tackled the insomnia that appeared after her baby was born by accepting nighttime wakefulness and eliminating safety behaviors (#31)
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Hello may I ask if you managed to get our of this postpartum insomnia crisis?
I am currently having the exact same problem as you and Cindy.Hi Yzzjoanna,
Not sure if your post was to me or not, but figured I’d check in anyway
I am now 17 months postpartum, and most nights I’m sleeping great. I don’t even have to think about falling asleep, I just do. It was a long road, and for the first year the only thing that helped me was ambien (doctor approved with breastfeeding as it was already out of my system by the time I needed to nurse in the morning). As soon as I weaned off breastfeeding at 11 months, and my hormones started to get back to normal, things started to improve. Cindy’s video/interview was so helpful to me in those early days!! I recommend watching if you haven’t already! You are totally normal!! Even though it’s not talked about, a lot of moms deal with this. Thank you for checking in!!
It’s really comforting to know that one day I don’t have to think about sleep or have any sleep related anxiety. Its really annoying and always ping-ing in the background. It’s like i think of sleep worries all day long…. God…to an extent I think I’m crazy. I kept telling myself to live in the present but to be honest it is really hard. I’m still 11 weeks postpartum, such a long way to go…
Hello and best wishes. It was very promising. Thanks for sharing the ideas and methods provided
Aw I totally understand Yzzjoanna! I was the exact same and could focus on nothing else. I felt crazy too. I spent so much time searching the internet to try and find other moms like me! And don’t feel like it will take a year like it did with me! I saw other moms who were back to sleeping normally much much sooner than that! I think I was a special case
One thing I loved that Cindy said she did was scrolling on her phone before bed. It actually makes me sleepy if I have the phone light all the way on low. Anyways, best wishes to you!! It will come back again I promise!! aww thanks for comforting me. I was also searching high and low over the internet to find mummies suffering from the same as me. All my other “real life” mummy friends didn’t have this problem and they could sleep so well. The sentence “Nap when your baby nap” didn’t annoy me so much until now. With my first baby i could really sleep whenever and wherever. I feel like for me its going to be a long road ahead too as my fear response towards not sleeping is very strong and i think with a fear like this it will take sometime to desensitize myself and to retrain my brain to think differently. YES I used to scroll phone so much before I sleep prior to having this sleep issues! I have went back to doing this now! It makes me relax abit more before bedtime! Thank you so much! I will hold on to the hope that it will get better and i will be back to normal!
Hello,
I know it’s an old post but wanted to check how you are doing now ? I am going through the phase now. I am 5 months postpartum and I started sleep problems around 3.5 months. It spiraled so bad that I had to start the sleep aid . I am getting consistent sleep but have lot of sleep anxiety and hyping jerks . Trying to get some confidence reading through this postHey @bantu!
From my encounters with fellow insomniacs and my own experience, people who no longer ask endless questions about their sleep or of others and no longer talk relentlessly about it are invariably the ones who do extremely well. Once you understand sleep and what it’s all about, these people eventually just realise, what more is there to ask? Sleep just is what it is. Your body knows how to do it entirely on its own and your intervention is not only unhelpful but also unnecessary. When you were a baby, did you worry about sleep? No. It just happened on its own. Did you worry like this when you slept less or when you just couldn’t sleep for long stretches? No either. So what happened? Nothing. Your body ability to sleep didn’t change. Only your thoughts about it have. And thoughts are what you are really afraid of at this moment. It’s essentially your brain fear-mongering itself. To us recovered insomniacs, we just recognise this as our brains pinging us with useless crap and we have conditioned ourselves to ignore them when they’re no longer useful.
On the other hand, those who keep going around asking about sleep and endlessly go on forums like these, reading about other people comments and their experiences, in a desperate effort to find that elusive “elixir” that they think will somehow magically solve their “dilemmas” are also always the ones who struggle the most. There is no magic elixir. Personal obsession with sleep is what keeps insomnia firmly entrenched.
Recovered insomniacs invariably always start by letting go bit by bit. It is not hard but not easy either, but you have to start somewhere. I hope this helps. Good luck to you and I hope you find your relief soon.
Congratulations on your new baby Bantu!! I know some people struggle with insomnia from the time they are young, but for those of us who experience insomnia right after a new baby or during menopause, I think it’s safe to say that hormones and all of the changes our body goes through during these periods plays a huge roll in the quality of our sleep. You did nothing wrong and your body is not failing you. You will eventually sleep well again. Every mother who deals with this will have a different experience. I am now over two years PP and only struggle with sleep two days before my period. It happens every month, like clockwork. All the other nights I sleep great. You are your own best health advocate and I’m glad you have a sleep aid to help. You will eventually sleep without it again. I believe this is super common among new moms and just not talked about enough. Good luck!!! ♥️
Thank you very much for lifting up my confidence . I know sleep can’t be controlled , its body’s core biological mechanism . If we have a bad night or two, subsequent night ll be a night with better sleep . I understand all the logic behind it but somehow I am not having the courage to move away from meds.
When you say you saw things improve, did you see any cues ? Or just trusted your system and came off meds ?Hello @bantu!
I assume you are a young mother probably in your twenties or early thirties? If you hadn’t needed any kinds of meds to sleep all these years ago, there is absolutely no reason why you need them now all of sudden either, imho. The human body (and mums are tough some more) just doesn’t fail catastrophically suddenly like that, if it did, then you are probably in a lot worse shape, maybe even lying unconscious in the hospital by now. The fact you are not, and even have the desire to come here, read all these posts and write legibly and rationally about your dilemma suggests you are in way better shape than you think or even what your doctors are telling you.
I suggest just get off the forum for now. Try it for a week or two. Stop researching sleep or doing anything about it or at least resist the temptation. Set a timeline to reduce your meds (expect disruptions at first but these will eventually settle down). Also set your bed schedule, get into at X and out at Y and stick with it. Of course, as a young mother, you will probably need to wake up more than you’ll want, tending to your baby. Expect this to happen, as do all mothers, so always be kind and compassionate to yourself. Focus on your daily tasks, I’m sure you have a ton as a mum. Whenever sleep thoughts bothers you, take a deep breath, and acknowledge them instead of trying to escape them and just tell yourself, “Yes I know, but let me finish this task first, I’ll sleep when
the time comes. I trust my body will give me the rest I need.” Then return your attention to the tasks you were doing. Over time, people just become better at handling their emotions and the ups and downs. I don’t expect you to be different either.Remember that whatever you are going through now, there are plenty of people who have gone through it all and emerge from the other side, tougher and stronger. So you are not really alone in all this, if these people could do it, then why couldn’t you? People are often stronger than they think, and you are no different.
Remember you are really only afraid of a set of your own thoughts. And thoughts are just that. Just thoughts, they can’t really do anything unless you act on them and wind up doing something drastic. And because of that, you can often adjust your level of response to them. People eventually get over their biggest fears over time. They just do and that’s what makes us humans. As a recovered insomniac, I’m telling you sleep is not worth even spending one milligram of your effort on it. It is something that fixes itself. Good luck and focus on being a great mum instead!
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