[Daf]

I can be fine for 5 weeks or so and think “Ah, I’ve cracked this insomnia lark”.

Then it starts up again – and it usually runs from 1 weeks to 3 weeks, in which every second night, maybe every third night (if I am lucky) is a totally sleepless night. Drives me mad.

There is never any obvious stress cause. It just starts on its own. Anyone else in same boat?

Now I know what I am supposed to do – Sleep restriction, sleep hygiene get out of bed, just accept it and lie there… all that great stuff.  I do all that!

My challenge is how to halt that anxiety I get when I have been awake a few hours. Because when that starts, the whole night I will be awake. It’s easy to say get up and do something else – and I do, but still the anxiety is there at the fact I am being awake. I’ve tried meditation, acceptance, reading books etc…. but if there was a way to halt the feelings of anxiety… if only!

[madmax]

Similar problem here; what I do is listen to an audiobook. I do it before going to bed and I really begin falling asleep while listening, my head dropping, really difficult to stay awake. Then when I wake up in the middle of the night, I try to do the same but I’m not sleepy anymore. Eventually I give up and go back to bed to see what happens; most of the times I just stay awake, terribly tired but not sleepy. I’m not completely conscious but I think there’s some background anxiety in my head causing that. I guess going back to bed when I’m not sleepy is an error, probably it’s better to stay in the other room and try again the next night.

[Daf]

Hi Mad Max,

I just don’t buy this guff that you have to be in your own bed. …and not watch TV

Yes. its the ideal, but not essential.

When my insomnia episodes are raging, the night after a night of no sleep, I will just lie on couch and watch TV from 9pm and I will fall asleep. My wife then puts a duvet on me and it’s fine. I will sleep till my first awakening, usually 2 hrs later, then I will fall asleep again, on couch. I will stay there all night, until I’ve had 5 to 6 hrs sleep, then I will get up.

Often, during these episodes, if I had gone up to bed. Ping! I will be awake. And awake all night. It’s mad.

Eventually, the sleeping on couch gets my sleep confidence back and I can go up to bed and sleep like a normal person. It will then be all OK for a bit until the next episode of insomnia nights comes again.

Sleeping on couch and dropping off in front of TV can be a real aid at these times.

In my view if it works for someone then do it!

 

 

 

[Mac0908]

This happens because obviously your own bed is what you associate most with your insomnia. It’s where it started, it’s where most of your fears began, and it’s where you’ve had all the bad nights. I have had the same problem. It started hitting me more and more when I’d sleep better in a hotel or while at my parents house one night. That’s interesting, I thought. I also slept on my couch for 2 nights after painting my room bc of the smell, and while it wasn’t the most comfortable sleep, guess what, I still slept better. I remember feeling so much less anxiety when lying down on the couch too.

So I hear you about the couch thing you experience. How long have you been suffering in general?

• This reply was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by Mac0908.
• This reply was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by Mac0908.

[Daf]

It started in September 2016.

[Mac0908]

Care to elaborate ?

[Daf]

Sure, no problem.

Started 2 and a half years ago with asthma issue – could not breathe right. Scary and hence sleepless nights.

The asthma problem went away (seems it was caused by me breathing in some dust). But the insomnia remained. It is episodic. I can be fine for periods up to 7 weeks. Then a night of nil sleep will come and nil sleep nights then follow maybe two or three nights a week for two to five weeks. Then it goes. No obvious stresses cause the episodes to start – seems to have a life of its own.

On any night, whether sleeping well or not, I awaken a lot in the night, but once I’ve got to sleep for first time, I can always roll over and get back to sleep again. So the problem for me is sleep onset – if it does not come, it does not come for whole night!

Over last 6 months though, the episodes of good sleep have been getting longer and the episodes of poor sleep getting shorter, so things seem to be slowly looking up.

[Carter72]

Hi Daf,

I know that it’s a delayed response to this post but was wondering the time it took you from poor periods of bad sleep to now five months of continuous good sleep? I find this encouraging. Presently have had two weeks of good sleep (which after 15 years of this stuff is real progress) but now in the run of poor sleep without any rhyme or reason. Did CBTI get you to this enviable place? I was a client of Martin, (who was an excellent sleep specialist) and graduated recently. Am sticking with the SC and SR but just find it maddening that I’m back to where I was. Any tips?

[Daf]

Hi Carter,

It took a while. From start of nil sleep nights insomnia to the start of my 4 and a half months of no more nil sleep nights took 2 and a half years. But it needn’t be that long.
All is explained in the 50 or so minute podcast in the Success Stories where Martin interviewed me.
Plus I have answered lots of Qs in the ACT for insomnia thread, within the last 2 to 3 weeks.
Hopefully these answer all your questions.
God bless

[Daf]

The podcast interview with me is called…. Success with cbti and act/mindfulness… Would paste it but my pc is playing up.

[Martin Reed]

I think it’s important to recognize that sleep disruption can sometimes happen without any identifiable cause. Put simply, our body might simply decide one night that we only need a few hours of sleep.

Unfortunately, when we have experienced insomnia in the past our sleep confidence can still be quite fragile — so our (quite understandable!) reaction to the difficult night can actually lead to further sleep disruption. As soon as we worry, we activate the arousal system and this immediately makes sleep more difficult.

I think the key here is to recognize that bad nights will still happen (they affect everyone, from time to time) and that it is our reaction to these bad nights that determine whether or not they’ll stick around.

If we don’t think about them, if we go about our day as normal, if we avoid compensating for a hard night (for example, by staying in bed longer, going to bed earlier, canceling plans, calling in sick to work, researching sleep, napping, trying to conserve energy, etc, etc, etc) then our sleep will almost certainly get back on track all by itself.

Here’s a link to the podcast episode with Daf: How David overcame three years of insomnia by addressing his obsession with sleep using CBT-I, acceptance, and mindfulness techniques (#8).

—

If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.

The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.

[Carter72]

Thanks for the response Daf (and Martin),

Reading your previous posts Daf (very verbose, amusing and insightful – ever thought about being a sleep coach? Sorry, Irony there). I’ve read your posts backwards from desperation to recovery and it’s very heartening to find your recovery as wayward and random as mine seems to be, the fact that you got there in the end is encouraging. At one point though it was like reading a thriller backwards. The consistent thing for insomniacs is how similar our stories are. We think that our condition is more virulent and vicious than others, only to realize we are all predictably the same – and here was me thinking I was ‘special’ – pah!
Anyway, onward and upwards. I think the keys is ‘acceptance’ (how can something seemingly so obvious be so bloody hard? P.S. And you’re right about ‘controlling’ ‘driven’ personalities) Also continual SC and SR which has been working for me. And… AND, stop bloody obsessing about it. Which clearly is working writing this response. Oh well, humour still here even if the ‘Z’zzzz’s’ aren’t.

[Daf]

Ha! Happy to help.
Remember, when you get sleep, just think, “Well I did it on that night, so I can do it again tonight!”
And yeah, try to stop obsessing. Hard to do, I know, but try anyway. Try to get busy with other things.

[Author]

Posts