[Deb]

Slarus – Yay for you! I think we might be similar in that we both have sleep onset insomnia and our bodies seem to love SR. So glad you’re sleeping well after a difficult start. I imagine it would be more difficult in some ways to have the other type of insomnia where you wake up too early. At least if we can’t fall asleep right away and have to get up and do SC, we’re just getting more and more tired, making it more likely that we can fall asleep. But to have slept for 3 or 4 hours and then wake up and have to get up – that would be difficult!

Gdsmom – Yes! –  you can have sex in bed (or in the living room, kitchen table, whatever your fancy is) but then you need to get dressed (or not) and go somewhere besides the bedroom to stay awake until your sleep window starts. And NO – you do not start out trying to fall asleep outside of your sleep window. You stay awake until your sleep window starts and then go to bed for the first time.

 

[Deb]

A note about strictness – I think the “Experts” like Martin and Sasha have to set strict guidelines or else everyone would bend them and want to relax, because CBT-I is not easy as we all know. I believe it’s best to adhere strictly to the guidelines as much as possible. You don’t want to sabotage yourself, especially when you’re just starting out and have no history of success behind you. So please don’t take my relaxed attitude as the model to follow, especially you newbies. I did 8 weeks of this back in January & February and am now on my 7th week the second time around. I’m getting more and more experienced in what works and doesn’t work for me. It might not work for you.

[Pam1129]

Deb

I agree with what someone else said earlier about you being a positive role model.. THANKYOU !!

Your posts are so encouraging and I’m learning quite a bit from you and all the others!

I am so GRATEFUL to have stumbled on this site !! I for the first time in  many many  years, have hope that this will , ‘ I will’ get some quality sleep!! Im still trying to figure all the SR and SC out, I’m a newbie..but I’m sticking to it. I had my 8th night of SR last night ,and could barely make it (without crashing several times haha) to my ‘bedtime’

my family has always known, of moms sleeping don’t wake her, now I tell them ‘wake me!’ Haha

Thankyou to all of you for your input , your information has given me a new excitement for Hope again!!!

[Slarus]

Well, good morning all!  I was so tired I could hardly wait for my sleep window bedtime but when it came and the lights went out I popped wide awake. It’s 1:00 in the morning. I have a pounding headache from pure exhaustion.  I’m having a cup of chamomile tea and have accepted the fact that I will be getting no sleep tonight. This is so crazy. How could I  be fighting microsleeps for hours and then be wide awake when it is finally time to sleep. I was beginning to think this was starting to work but this is a real set back.  I’m a little discouraged. My eyes feel like they have sand in them. I had three good nights of SR and thought I was on my way to a normal life again and now this. Are these set backs to be expected?  I’m really strict about sticking to my sleep window and getting out of bed if I don’t fall asleep in a reasonable amount of time. My cats are not happy with me. They were asleep in the family room and I just woke them up.  However, unlike me, they will go right back to sleep. 🙂

[Steve]

Mac – Sorry to hear of your sleep difficulties. I know how depressing it can get when things go south. Just remember that you had this beat once and so you know you can do it again.

Deb – Thanks again for all of your encouraging support.

Slarius – Hang in. These down nights happen and you therefore shouldn’t worry about it. You are probably going to have a down night or two every week before your sleep improves overall. Just keep with your SR and SC and you will snap out of it and have good nights again.

[Mac0908]

Of course I can beat it again Steve. That’s not the issue anymore and hasn’t been for a long time. It’s beating it and KEEPING it beat. I know it’s near impossible for you to relate to me fully seeing as how you’ve only been dealing with this for 6 months or so, but when you reach over 2.5 years, a certain sick feeling in one’s stomach starts to set in. A feeling that regardless of how many good nights or good phases I go through, it becomes harder and harder to envision a complete escape. Would really like a few thoughts from Martin at this point if he’s out there. Feeling down these days.

[Steve]

I had two relatively good nights to end the week last week of about 4 and three quarters hours of sleep each night. And then came last night. I got no sleep whatsoever. Maybe some stage 1 sleep but it was a very,very disappointing night. I was tired all day Sunday and I took a nice hot bath in the evening to get ready for bed. I even made sure I was out of the tub an hour and a half before my SW began so my body temperature wasn’t too warm to sleep. About 45 minutes before my SW began, I started nodding off in the chair and it happened several times. I just couldn’t stay awake. And when I tried to read, my eyes were so blurry I couldn’t. I was even re-reading paragraphs because I couldn’t understand them on the first run. But when I got in bed, I just couldn’t fall asleep. Maybe I was excited because I thought I was going to have my first 5 hour sleep in a long time. Anyway, the worst part is I never even practiced SC. I was so exhausted, I just couldn’t get out of bed. I think I did go to the living room once but it didn’t last long as I was just too tired to do anything there. And I tried sitting up in bed once also but I couldn’t even manage that. Yet, I could not get to sleep.

The oddest thing is that I am not too tired today. My body probably realized I didn’t sleep and released a ton of adrenaline and cortisol into my system. It’s funny how when I do get to sleep, sometimes I am more tired the next day then when I didn’t get any sleep. Does anyone else have this happen to them?

I am trying not to worry about it as I know if I do, it could lead to more sleepless nights. Evey night is a new night not dependent on the last night. But I do have to try harder at SC. It’s just over the last 5 days, I hardly had to do any SC because I woke up so near my alarm time that I didn’t need to get out of bed to do it. But Mac, I know how you feel thinking that you are going to spend the rest of your life like this. But you beat it once. You can do it again. I am just so depressed today after getting absolutely no sleep last night. Martin suggested I stay away from the forums for awhile as some of the posts might discourage me and make my arousal system even more sensitive. I agree for a lot of the other posts but I need the support from this thread.

[Mac0908]

Martin is right IMO in the sense that if you are in the early stages of sleep anxiety that you have little control over, you should stay away from these forums at least on the days where you are doing very bad. Feeling down and then reading a thread about how someone has suffered with Insomnia for 10 years isn’t exactly a recipe for relaxing your already fragile nervous system. I remember it would effect me. I would keep it in this forum only and I would suggest skimming over anything you don’t think is good for you to read right now.

On a positive note for you Steve, and I’m not the greatest person to talk to as I can’t say for certain there is a 100% success story coming from me yet, but I can say things will get better. I was in the absolute depths of hell insomnia wise, more than you could ever imagine. Today I’m leaps and bounds better. I go through these rough phases that get me terribly down sometimes as you saw this past weekend and today, but I’m still better than where I was, even if its only by 30%. Will I one day reach 100%? Maybe. I hope so. I’m trying to stay optimistic. Part of me thinks I’ll blink and it will be December talking to you and Deb about my struggles still. But there’s another part of me that knows I have improved, albeit very very slowly. You will be ok Steve, you just need to understand this is not easy and nobody ever said it was.

If there is ONE thing I’ve learned in my 2.5+ years now of dealing with this, it’s that this is ANYTHING but an overnight fix. You have a completely traumatized nervous system that needs much care and discipline to begin helping, and you’ve already done that a bit in just a few weeks IMO.

[Steve]

Thanks for the encouraging words Mac. I know you have suffered with this a long time and that you are getting better. So you know how disappointing it can be to have a really, really bad night after having several relatively good ones. I thought two hours sleep was a bad night but getting none is devastating. I know that every night is a new night and none is dependent on the previous night so I will just keep going as I actually look forward to going to bed at night now. I just have to start doing two things. Make sure I stay up to my sleep window without nodding off for even a couple minutes. And two, find things to do again in case I have to get up for an unexpected SC. Nothing much else I can do as I also know you can’t control your sleep and so there are going to be some bad nights out there.

[Pam1129]

Hey Steve ,

First off, I’m so sorry for what you’re going through … since I’m so new to this forum, and have just started implementing the SR , I’m def not Qualified to give a response.. I can however relate to the , ‘feeling better’ sometimes  after a ‘No sleep’night ‘ Its crazzzy, and yet I’ve had to, for me, accept that I didn’t get ‘any’ and yet  be so grateful that I ‘could ‘ still function without sleep. I’m also really working on, trying to accept that this ‘is’ my life right now, AND, that it’s GOING to get better!!  This forum is wonderful, with SO many others that truly understand Insomnia, and are A great source of encouragement !!!

Most days I am pretty positive , but mannnn I do have times where I’m very emotional and when asked ‘how are you’ by my hubby the waterfall starts and I just fall apart for awhile ?  and that’s ok!

Then I pull myself together and start yet another day , and hope for a good night!!!

I’m going to continue with this on my own for awhile because Financially , I’m unable to do Martins course at this time, but ‘He’ will def be next for me !!’

[Deb]

Slarus – having a bad night or two after some good ones is normal. I know it’s discouraging, but that’s just how it goes. I had 5 good nights in a row and then last night was tough, not falling asleep until 3:00. So this happens to all of us and it is normal.

Steve – sounds like your sleep is gradually increasing, so you’re going in the right direction.

[Steve]

Deb – Yes. Two steps forward one step back. I am taking the long view on this and while it’s upsetting, it also means my sleep drive should be high tonight. So I am going in with no expectations except that I will have a high sleep drive. Let whatever comes from that happen. I still think I’m not as anxious as I used to be. I look forward going to bed now. Some nights are just better than others.

[Steve]

Thanks for the encouraging words Pam. Have you taken Martin’s free course yet? I can’t remember if you said you did or not.

[delv-x]

I am on day 13 in a row of poor sleep. I am getting 3-4 hours a night. From 3-30-4:30am on, if I am in bed I am either not sleeping or possibly light sleep and feeling frustrated. I do get out of bed for SC for a bit. I just have NO clue what is going on. I really miss the 6+ hours of sleep and not needing to get out of bed and just dosing off until my wake up time. Sometimes I feel like it’s a “chemical imbalance” and other times I think it’s conditioned arousal that can be behaviorally addressed. My mind and body is too aroused and overpowering my sleepiness and drive. I just wish I knew what steps to take that would address this the best.

[Pam1129]

Yes , I’m doing it now , and although I  had heard about SR , I never stuck with it long enough, I just didn’t fully ( i still don’t haha) understand the process and the process , I’m gathering is ..::that it’s NOT easy!, it takes time , and to KEEP going lol!!! So I’m committed, because from what I can tell and read on here is , that it WORKS!

[Author]

Posts