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Chee2308✓ Client
These are personal choices you need to make. It’s like asking what dress you should wear to an event, what jewellery you should wear, what you should eat, etc. Because none of all that really matters. Nothing of what you are asking should be done (like whether to use an alarm clock etc) has any connection to your ability to sleep. Do whatever you like. If sleep is not the main consideration, how will you choose? Then just go along with that. Always remove sleep from any decision you make and you remove anything your mind tries to associate with sleep. Be independent and brave. DO NOT FEAR POOR SLEEP ANYMORE AND STOP TRYING TO AVOID IT! FACE IT WITH COURAGE AND HUMILITY. THIS IS THE KEY TO A COMPLETE RECOVERY AND REGAINING YOUR IDENTITY AND PERSONALITY.
Chee2308✓ ClientHello!
Whenever the event causes a temporary sleep disruption is over, then try to move on with your life. Don’t change your sleeping habits like going to bed earlier, sleeping in, trying to sleep more, taking pills, researching sleep, asking endless questions about sleep and so on. Just continue to get up at the same time and get on with your day. It’s helpful to accept that sleep can be affected for a while and it takes time to settle down. This is normal and happens to everyone.Whenever you have bad nights, try not to think too much about it. It’s just a bad night and means absolutely nothing to anyone including yourself. You can tell yourself to try again on other nights and that you can do better next time. Don’t stress over it because it’s pointless and the night is already gone. Focus more on your present moment and the future will take care of itself. Ultimately, re-evaluate your relationship with bad sleep, why must you take sleeping badly so seriously? What’s so important you must sleep well every night? Is there a prize to be won for being the best sleeper? Be okay with poor sleep by slowly desensitizing yourself to it. Good luck!
Chee2308✓ ClientIf sleep wasn’t the main consideration, how would you choose?
Chee2308✓ ClientCultivate yourself as such:
Let the seen remains seen, the heard remains heard and the thought remains thought.Meaning: Whatever you see, hear or feel does not translate into further action or hopefully further feelings. There is no sense of wanting to change or improve anything. You are happy with things the way they are.
As @Jeff_Nero pointed out, you can sort of be that independent person looking at your yourself from outside in. You just observe everything from a distance yet remain unattached and unbiased at the same time. Not being judgmental about anything because this “drama” goes on without requiring any input from you. You just follow the script whichever way it takes you.
Chee2308✓ ClientI’m not sure if you mean 2 hours every complete 24 hours. Maybe you mean you only get 2 hours during the night in a specific time interval (eg 1-6am) but you are also sleeping on other times during the day as well or sleeping in and over your sleep window, taking naps or whatever. Of course if you engage in any of these, it will kill your sleep drive when your sleep window arrives.
I also went over your past posts on this forum and note that you have had insomnia for over what, 15 years??? Maybe your thoughts about sleep and insomnia are so entrenched that it’s almost impossible to overcome or you are just not convinced you can recover at all. The human mind is a powerful machine. It can make you believe anything, even blatant falsehoods, outright lies and hoaxes. Especially if you have had this for so long. For me, I am no longer afraid of poor sleep, and sleep takes up less and less of my mind that it’s almost gone completely and along with it, my sleepless nights. I don’t lose sleep over sleep anymore and from where I am now, it’s just not worth it. There are many other things more deserving of my attention. Sleep has become a chore and a waste of time in a sense. It exists only out of convenience and not necessity and I just do the least that I can get away with. Nonetheless, I wish the best. You are probably never going to get far if you continue to fear poor sleep and the role it allegedly plays in your life.
Chee2308✓ ClientHello
Firstly, a SW of only 5 hours is too short. It increases the pressure to sleep in such a short window and could worsen your sleep anxiety. An ideal starting point is at least 5.5 hours. But 6 hours is preferable and is more suitable for most people.In regards to your question about stimulus control, revert back to those times before your insomnia started when you couldn’t sleep and what did you do then? Then use this as a guide. If you didn’t get up from bed, then you don’t need to now. Your ability to sleep never changed. It’s your thoughts towards sleep that has. You are therefore reacting to a set of thoughts inside your head, or over-reacting in this instance. You are taking your mere thoughts way more seriously than you need to.
Most people recover when they start to take their insomnia less seriously and stopped chasing sleep. Getting more sleep just isn’t the cure. The real cure is being okay with any amount of sleep you get. It is no longer living with the phobia of poor sleep or letting this control every aspect of your life. Best wishes and good luck to you.
Chee2308✓ ClientCan your body let go of the ability to breathe or eat? What makes sleep special that this ability needs to be protected??
Chee2308✓ ClientWell why do you meditate? Is it only to sleep better or because you truly enjoy it? If it’s solely to sleep better, how does meditation help in that sense? If you meditate but don’t really enjoy it, that’s just torture. Might as well do anything else that you truly enjoy which really helps to get sleep off your mind for a bit. Then you have a better chance of practicing real mindfulness, where you are wholly engaged at the task at hand and can’t think of anything else including sleep. Of course sleep thoughts will always creep back and that’s okay (always allow this to happen), then gently refocus your attention back on the task. Ultimately, you want to be at a place where you enjoy what you are doing and truly live the life you want. Sleep doesn’t need any kind of assistance or intervention from you at all. It just happens when you’ve been up long enough, regardless of what you have been thinking or doing. Good luck.
- This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Chee2308.
Chee2308✓ ClientHow do you self-sabotage your sleep?
- This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Chee2308.
Chee2308✓ ClientUnfortunately, your question doesn’t make a lot of sense. It’s like asking how can you eat 10000 calories a day and still not get fat. These things are just beyond your control!
Chee2308✓ ClientHello Dani!
Welcome to this forum. I recommend you read Cindy’s success story and how she overcame her postpartum insomnia, very similar to your situation. Her story is very insightful and full of wonderful advice on how to tackle sleep issues for new mums:Please don’t make how you sleep the main focus and determinant of how you feel or perform the next day. Because sleep really doesn’t define that. The suffering you go through because you feel you don’t sleep well is unfortunately, self-imposed. The key to sleeping well is actually being okay and no longer afraid of not sleeping well. It’s really a paradox. Focus more on other things like being a better mum, indulging in your hobbies and making a wonderful experience out of life. Accept that life isn’t always a bed of roses, and you won’t always get what you want but that’s okay, and there’s no reason to beat yourself up over it. Good luck to you and congratulations on being a parent.
Chee2308✓ ClientYou won’t die from unintentional lack of sleep in the same way you won’t die from unintentional food starvation or lack of oxygen
Chee2308✓ ClientHello!
You seem to confuse “should” with “must”. There is no strict requirement to leave the bed if conditions for sleep are right, ie, not overly stressed, no unpleasant wakefulness and you feel comfortable in bed. If still confused, always go back to your past habits before you had insomnia, you must have had occasions when you can’t sleep. What did you do then? Then go back to doing that. In overcoming insomnia, regaining your personality plays a big part.
If you didn’t have to restrict your time to falling asleep in just 15mins, would you be more relaxed in your approach to cbti? Don’t beat yourself up because you are not doing it perfectly. Because having done it myself and sleeping well now, I can tell you it doesn’t make much difference. Or at all. Now I pretty much break almost all of the rules of cbti, like napping, not getting out of bed when not asleep, fidgeting with my phone in bed and I still sleep pretty well! I guess it’s because I’m super relaxed about my bedtime routine. There is no pressure to sleep and that’s why I sleep. When you finish your cbti, this is what everyone should be doing. When there are no rigid rules or pressure, sleep comes easier. Don’t chase sleep, let it chase you. Good luck!
Chee2308✓ ClientIsn’t it a bit weird to define total recovery that way? Because isn’t sleeping the main objective here? So why wouldn’t it be normal for people to think about the very act that they are going to be engaging in?
If suppose you allow yourself to think about sleep before bed, how that journey had been for you, with its ups and downs, and not try to penalize, judge or blame yourself for doing something that’s completely normal for someone who’s been through a traumatic experience, wouldn’t that be more liberating? Good luck!
Chee2308✓ ClientHello! What does 100% full recovery mean to you? And how many % recovered do you think you are now? What would do you differently in your daily life if you are fully recovered? Will there be much difference from your present life, if at all?
If the difference is miniscule, is achieving total recovery really that important now? Have a deep thought about this. Good luck!
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