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Thanks for sharing those insights! Other than being new concepts, what made those ideas really resonate with you?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
@Burger: You’ve taken a lot of action over the past month or so. You’ve dismantled your sleep rituals. You’ve weaned yourself of those sleep aids. You are acting in ways that better reflect who you are and the life you want to live. You are getting your life back from insomnia.
And, you are learning a lot. Your experience tells you that you haven’t lost the ability to sleep. And, if your experience tells you that, why does it matter what any thoughts might say to the contrary?
My experience tells me that I can’t guess the winning lottery numbers. Sometimes my brain claims to tell me the winning lottery numbers. And yet, it’s never right — so I choose to acknowledge what it’s telling me, thank it for doing its best to look out for me, and spend my money on something else
If sleeping on the sofa right now is the best thing for you to do, then that’s the best thing for you to do. You get to decide if or when you’ll stop doing that because you have control over your actions.
@stellas: You want to sleep in bed beside your husband and, because you want to avoid being awake at night, you are sleeping in your guest room instead. You get to decide when (or if) that will change — because you are in control of your actions and you are the expert on you!—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you for sharing your uncertainty!
No part of the AWAKE exercise is intended to control thoughts — in fact, the AWAKE exercise is intended to help you build skill in doing the exact opposite.
It’s about Acknowledging what you are thinking and feeling, noticing Where in your body those thoughts and feelings might be showing up, Allowing it all to exist, being Kind to yourself, and allowing yourself to Experience being awake with less struggle.
So, the intention is to help you practice building skill in experiencing wakefulness and all the difficult thoughts and feelings that can come with it with less struggle. Giving you the opportunity to be more of a curious observer of what’s showing up, rather than an opponent who is trying to fight and resist what’s showing up.
As you pointed out, trying to distract your mind, trying to control your thoughts, trying to make sleep happen, are all exercises in futility! You have noticed less struggle as you’ve practiced allowing your mind to think what it wants to think (which is part of the AWAKE exercise).
As you guessed, if you practice the AWAKE exercise thinking it’s supposed to distract your mind, control your thoughts, or make sleep happen, it’s not going to do anything for you
You might want to revisit the lessons on the AWAKE exercise again so you are clear on the intent and purpose of the exercise. Many people find it really helpful to revisit those lessons more than once — there’s a lot to take in!
With all this being said, no exercise is going to be universally useful for everyone — you are the expert on you!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
@sipkova: Nights can always get worse. Nights can always get better. Days can always get worse. Days can always get better. Nothing unusual with any of those things
What is your goal when you practice the AWAKE exercise? If you don’t practice the AWAKE exercise when you find yourself struggling, what’s your alternative response going to be?
@DWard51: Good on you for getting some practice in with the AWAKE exercise. Not everyone will find it helpful (everyone is different) — and you are the expert on you! What I would say here is that the AWAKE exercise isn’t supposed to get rid of anxiety, make calmness happen, or make sleep happen — and if that’s your goal when you practice, it’s unlikely to do much for you.—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You aren’t alone, Davina — and you are also only a couple of weeks into a six week course (which also comes with six months of access to all the materials and this client forum).
If you reflect on something you are skilled at today, how long did it take you to develop those skills? If it was longer than a couple of weeks, perhaps it might be worth being a little kinder and more accommodating to yourself if you find yourself struggling?
You seem to be (completely understandably!) measuring progress based on how you sleep from night to night. If sleep is out of your control, how might that way of measuring progress set you up for some ongoing struggle? What might some other, more controllable, measures of progress be?
What matters now is that you are continuing to take action. You know from experience that your old approach (and response) to all this difficult stuff didn’t work. You are committed to a new approach. You are practicing and building skill with the AWAKE exercise — and, it’s important to remember, that the AWAKE exercise is not intended to make sleep happen.
As you know, sleep is out of your control. The more you try to make it happen, the more difficult it becomes. The AWAKE exercise is intended to help you build skill in responding to being awake (and all the thoughts and feelings that can come with it) with less struggle.
And, like with any skills, it requires ongoing practice — and there will always be ups and downs on your journey forward.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
The AWAKE exercise can sometimes come with the bonus side-effect of sleep — and that’s not the intention
The intention is to practice building skill in experiencing wakefulness (and any thoughts and feelings that might show up with it) with less struggle — just as you described, @louismerlin!
Of course, when there’s less struggle then conditions for sleep tend to be better but there’s never any guarantees here because sleep is out of our direct control.
@louismerlin: Your practice of the AWAKE exercise has given you more awareness of where difficult thoughts and feelings show up in your body — and, with that awareness, you are finding that you are better able to accept those thoughts and feelings with an attitude of kindness and perhaps even some curiosity.
@Janie: You plan to remind yourself that being awake at night is normal and practice allowing yourself to do whatever you want to do in response. You are giving yourself flexibility. You are not making yourself yo-yo in and out of bed.Perhaps the theme here is this: when we relinquish control over sleep, we give sleep the best opportunity to take care of itself.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Some fantastic insights here — thank you both for sharing!
Insight 1: When we are less resistant to certain thoughts, they tend to show up less often (and can be less distracting, powerful, and influential when they do show up),
Insight 2: Refocusing your attention on where you are, what you are doing (and what you want to be doing) when difficult or distracting thoughts show up helps you strip them of their power and influence,
Insight 3: Thanking your brain for looking out for you is a reminder that your brain is never an enemy or an adversary. It’s providing you with information (that might or might not be helpful, accurate, or useful) and it’s doing that because it’s looking out for you! You are also telling your brain that you are listening so it doesn’t have to keep yelling even louder
Insight 4: Giving up the resistance, the attempts to control, and the battling can be a HUGE relief and a weight off your shoulders. It also frees up energy and attention so you are better able to do more of what matters.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It sounds as though you are noticing a change happening and that’s down to your own commitment to action.
Acknowledgement is the first step to experiencing stuff you might prefer not to experience (yet is out of your control) with less struggle and more acceptance.
As you’ve refocused on actions that reflect your values and keep you moving toward the life you want to live (independently of sleep) you’ve noticed that all those sleep-related thoughts become more like occasional background noise rather than massive concert speakers!
There will, of course, be ups and downs as you continue to move forward — and every up and every down is an opportunity to learn and an opportunity to continue responding in a way that feels workable to you!
I wish you all the best!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing your main “takeaways” from the course, Raju!
You recognize that sleep cannot be controlled, you have found it helpful to practice being present and to live in the moment, and you are mindful not to chase after sleep at night.
I am curious — which parts of the course do you feel suggested that you should try to control your thoughts and feelings? How have you been doing that, and how successful have you been with that strategy?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Molly! You’ve clearly got a human brain that’s doing its job of generating thoughts. Since it’s doing this 24/7, it’s going to throw out a good number of thoughts that you don’t like!
As you pointed out, something you always have control of are your actions. How you choose to respond when thoughts you don’t want to experience show up. How you choose to respond when sleep isn’t happening as you want it to. This means you are the one in control. Always. You are the one who has the power. Always.
Getting pulled back into the struggle is so easy, I’d suggest it’s actually quite normal! You’ve demonstrated just how far you’ve come simply by being aware of what’s going on. With that awareness, you get to choose how to respond. What advice does your experience have to offer?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You are finding that, even when you commit to actions that reflect who you are, thoughts about sleep still show up. And, even in their presence you are still doing things that matter. With this in mind, what makes those thoughts a problem?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
There seems to be a common theme here, which is perhaps not too surprising since we are all hard-wired to resist discomfort!
The theme seems to be that the more we try (or even focus on trying) to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen, the more difficult and elusive it seems to become.
Since each of you are the experts on yourselves, what do you feel is the most workable way to respond when you are awake when you’d rather be asleep, and/or if you are noticing arousal or difficult thoughts and feelings show up when you’d rather they weren’t present at all?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Abandoning all the effort and reducing all the pressure you might put on yourself to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen is a huge weight off your shoulders. You are letting go.
You are freeing up your focus, energy, and attention for other areas of your life. You are giving sleep the opportunity to take care of itself while you focus on living the life you want to live.
The appearance of this insight is all thanks to your superpowers of self-reflection, self-awareness, and your evident growth mindset.
Thanks for sharing
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You’ve committed to practicing the AWAKE exercise as a way to build skill in experiencing wakefulness and all the difficult thoughts and feelings that might come with it, with less struggle.
As a result, you are finding that being awake has far less power and influence over you. By giving yourself permission to stay in bed when you are awake because that feels comfortable, you are also reducing any pressure you might otherwise put on yourself to make sleep happen. You are demonstrating self-compassion.
Your reflections here are evidence of your growth mindset. Thanks for sharing!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You have a superpower of self-awareness, being able to identify how you are most likely to find yourself struggling, @Janie.
A lot of your difficult thoughts and feelings relate to past experiences. You shared that one way to deal with this is to practice being aware of that and to allow them to move on. How might you do that?
You also asked for advice on a better approach. What might a better approach look like — and what would make that a better approach?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
