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Your experience suggests that your sleep system is working just as it should be — after nights of less (or no) sleep you are more likely to experience more (or some) sleep on subsequent nights.
Your experience also seems to be telling you that sleep is out of your direct control and the more you (completely understandably) try to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen, the more difficult it can become.
Thoughts and feelings (such as fear) can be uncomfortable and they come from your brain doing its job of looking out for you. Your experience might also suggest they are out of your direct control and cannot be permanently deleted or switched off upon command!
Medication changes (including withdrawal) can certainly make things more challenging and it can be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when things are difficult. And, as your experience tells you, that light exists — you have experience in getting through difficult challenges and adversity. You are resilient!
As you reflect on your experience, what opportunities are there to deal with all this difficult stuff in a different way (if you feel your current approach isn’t really working for you)?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Waking is a normal part of sleep, so there’s nothing unusual with noticing yourself waking before you want to be getting out of bed to start your day.
Your experience seems to tell you that you cannot make yourself fall back to sleep through effort.
And, it feels as though you can’t break the habitual response of researching supplements and meds over and over again. Since that response is action-based, it’s always within your control even when it feels it’s not.
If you don’t want to be responding by researching supplements and meds, what might you do instead and how might that alternative response serve you better?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Sleep duration might increase and it might not. Sleep takes care of itself!
Let’s say that you were getting the exact amount and type of sleep you wanted to get every single night — what would you then be doing differently with your life?
That kind of question could help expand the focus of your attention away from sleep (something you can’t control) and toward actions (something you can always control) and the real reason(s) why you want sleep to be a certain way.
I hope there’s something useful here 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Perhaps it’s less about being woken and more about how you might respond to being woken?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for going “all in” — and welcome to the forum 🙂
You have the idea that thinking or talking about insomnia will make it real or worse — and your experience tells you that insomnia shows up and does what it wants whether or not you think about it or talk about it.
What’s the opportunity here? 🤔
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You have a wonderful source of support in your spouse!
Fear is going to show up no matter what you do. So, perhaps what matters most is taking action that matters to you — that reflects who you are, who you want to be, and the life you want to live.
Do that, and fear will show up. Don’t do that, and fear will show up.
If you took the action of moving away from the medication, what would you do instead when sleep doesn’t happen as you might want it to?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Things are changing and you are making change happen.
You are practicing the AWAKE exercise to build skill in noticing and making space for wakefulness and whatever thoughts and feelings choose to show up. The result is less struggling and battling (and better conditions for sleep).
You are not tracking sleep and that takes the pressure off and reduces the judgement and subsequent performance anxiety.
A weight has been lifted now the nights aren’t filled with struggle and a list of things you need to do to try to make sleep happen. As you shared, there’s less drama!
You have started to taper off medication and stayed committed to that action even when a bad night of sleep showed up and even when difficult thoughts and feelings showed up — because that’s an action that’s important to you.
You are continuing to do things that matter each day and you are doing that with kindness — dialing things back a bit as needed, yet still doing things that reflect who you are and the life you want to live.
The focus of your attention is expanding. Thoughts no longer revolve around sleep and little else. You have come so far because of your own actions, your own strengths, and your own commitment to change.
Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best as you continue to move forward!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That sounds challenging. Have you spoken to a doctor about your experience and whether there might be any treatment options for the twitches?
It sounds like the twitches become more noticeable and more disruptive when you want sleep to happen. When you are feeling relaxed and giving sleep the opportunity to show up. When you are wide awake and not trying to make sleep happen, they seem to disappear.
As for dealing with this now, as the expert on yourself, what are your thoughts on that? What feels like the most workable way to respond that will help you move forward and not get pulled into a struggle that makes things even more difficult?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You could always try starting the sleep window an hour earlier — bearing in mind that if you don’t feel sleepy enough for sleep when it begins, it might still be worth delaying going to bed until you are feeling sleepy enough for sleep (finding it hard to stay awake).
Perhaps there’s an opportunity to conduct an experiment for a week or so, reflect, and go from there!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It sounds like you are moving in the direction you want to be heading!
The pounding heart is something you’d rather not experience so it makes sense that you might try to resist, fight, or avoid that. And, if your experience tells you that you cannot directly control what your heart does, maybe that could be setting you up for some additional struggle.
Building skill in accepting whatever your heart might be doing (I’m assuming you’ve had your heart checked out by a doctor!) might help reduce the struggle it creates. And, you seem to be building skill in acceptance through your ongoing practice of the AWAKE exercise 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Candy! You are not alone 🙂
Your experience seems to be telling you that you cannot directly or permanently control what your mind does — the thoughts it generates or the feelings it generates.
And, when your mind doesn’t respond to your understandable attempts to control it, you respond by trying harder. Trying harder to make your mind relaxed. Trying harder to calm yourself so anxiety goes away.
All that trying requires a lot of energy and attention. And you notice that all the trying doesn’t solve the problem. The thoughts and feelings aren’t permanently deleted. They come back (or they never go away). Perhaps they get even more powerful. You get pulled into a struggle.
And so you feel defeated. Your trying doesn’t seem to work. You feel stuck.
What’s the opportunity here?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You are clearly someone who takes action!
You take an OTC sleep aid from time to time and your goal is to get off it. You are able to reflect on the progress you’ve made toward this goal — your use has drastically decreased over the last year.
You also have the experience that even though you’ve drastically decreased your use of the sleep aid, you have also experienced full nights of sleep. So you know that this sleep aid isn’t actually generating sleep.
The action of taking the sleep aid is something that doesn’t reflect who you are or who you want to be. As a result you feel annoyed at yourself when you do take it.
You have the understandable and valid worry that without a sleep aid you won’t sleep. And you have the experience of knowing that you can sleep without a sleep aid and that you get to decide how to respond to that worry.
Your response moves you closer to where you want to be or it pulls you away from where you want to be. And it sounds like you want to commit to not taking a sleep aid in response.
What changes could you make so you are less likely to take a sleep aid in response to being awake and all the thoughts and feelings that can show up at that time? What actions will support your desire and commitment to change?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You are reminding yourself that sleep is out of your control and that trying to control what is out of your control only creates a struggle and more difficulty.
You also have a powerful awareness that although there are things you cannot control, you can always control your actions. That matters because it’s your actions that determine your level of struggle.
It sounds as though going to bed earlier doesn’t feel like the right way forward for you right now because that could set you up for more time spent struggling at night.
You’ve identified hyperarousal as a problem. You feel trapped in a state of hyperarousal. What — if anything — do you need to do differently to get out of that trap?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Being awake and resting sounds a lot more appealing than being awake and battling and struggling!
You typically wake before the end of your sleep window and spend that time resting in bed. You wonder if, by stopping the sleep window, you might benefit from giving yourself the opportunity to get more rest in bed.
You don’t have to keep a sleep window going for any longer than you want to keep it going — there’s nothing compulsory in this course because you are the expert on yourself!
A sleep window cannot make a certain amount or type of sleep happen. It’s more of a tool that’s intended to help you move away from chasing after sleep. It also comes with the bonus of ensuring enough time for sleep drive to build and ensuring enough time for you to do things that matter with your waking life (rather than spending it all in bed!).
If you aren’t sure what to do about the sleep window, conducting an experiment might be an option to consider!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Waking during sleep is a normal part of sleep, @GaryJaster — so trying to fight or avoid those awakenings might create additional struggle.
As you touched upon, the more you chase after a certain amount or type of sleep the more elusive (and difficult) it can become.
What are you doing in response to those nighttime awakenings and what are you learning from what you are doing in response?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
