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Welcome to the course! Your experience is a common part of the insomnia struggle. You said that when you experience a certain thought like “What if I don’t fall asleep?” you are likely to experience some uncomfortable sensations. You then get out of bed.
Why are you getting out of bed in response to certain thoughts and feelings? What are you trying to achieve when you do that? How is that response working for you?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Good on you for playing around with the AWAKE exercise — glad to hear you are finding it to be a helpful way to respond to the appearance of anxiety! It sounds as though you are a good visualizer and are using that strength to help you experience anxiety with a bit less struggle.
You can definitely practice the AWAKE exercise during the day, too! In Week 3 you’ll be given an exercise that’s intended more for daytime use as a way to practice refocusing your attention on where you are and what you are doing when difficult/distracting thoughts and feelings show up.
If you find that you prefer the AWAKE exercise, you can continue to use it during the day — and you don’t need to choose one or the other or have any rules here. You are the expert on you! These are tools. You decide how you’d like to use them 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing!
Everyone here is the expert on themselves — getting out of bed is always an option, but it’s never a requirement! And, if the goal behind getting out of bed is to make sleep happen or to get rid of certain thoughts and feelings, it can be counterproductive!
Everyone spends time awake in bed. The difference between people who are concerned about sleep and people who aren’t is that people who are concerned about sleep are more likely to struggle with that wakefulness — they’re more likely to try to get rid of it and more likely to try fighting any thoughts that show up with it. The bed becomes a battleground. A place to fight and/or a place to avoid.
People who aren’t concerned about sleep are likely to be far more “passive” when it comes to their response to being awake in bed. They are also more likely to spend time awake in bed intentionally — watching TV, scrolling on their phones, reading, maybe even working — and they sleep just fine.
So, being awake in bed isn’t really the problem — it’s trying to fight being awake in bed that can create the ongoing struggle. With this in mind, shifting the goal away from sleep and toward rest and doing anything (in bed or out of bed) that can help you build skill in experiencing wakefulness with less struggle can be helpful!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I think you’ve got it! The two exercises are similar in that they both aim to get us to practice acknowledging what we are thinking and feeling (and allowing our thoughts and feelings to exist) instead of immediately trying to fight what we are thinking and feeling.
The AWAKE exercise is intended to be used at night since it’s more open-ended. The NOW exercise is intended to be used during the day since it’s more about refocusing if we find ourselves getting distracted by our thoughts and feelings (compared to the ongoing observation that is perhaps more likely with the AWAKE exercise).
Does this help?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It’s great that you are playing around with this @Marlin63!
How are you accepting your thoughts and feelings when they show up? When you then think/focus on things that are important to you, what are you trying to achieve? When it works, what happens?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Those jerks/starts (also known as hypnic jerks) can be difficult to experience, that’s for sure!
First, I’d suggest talking to your doctor just to make sure that’s what they are and that there isn’t anything else going on!
If there’s nothing else going on, it might be helpful to know that they are typically a sign that sleep is happening.
As for what to do about them, if your experience tells you that trying to fight or avoid them doesn’t seem to work, perhaps an approach that’s similar to how you might deal with the appearance of difficult thoughts and feelings that show up might be more workable?
What ideas do you have?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Setbacks are part of progress — just as we fell over so many times when we were learning to walk (and even now, we might still trip over from time to time).
If you are using there AWAKE exercise with the intention of getting rid of frustration and anxiety, it’s not going to do anything for you.
As your experience is telling you, there’s no delete button for certain thoughts and feelings. They’re going to show up, no matter what you do. You can choose to fight them or you can choose to allow them to come and go (perhaps as more of a kind and curious observer rather than an aggressive opponent).
The goal of the AWAKE exercise is to help you practice building skill in experiencing wakefulness and all the thoughts and feelings that can come with it with less resistance and less struggle.
Struggle is what can make those thoughts and feelings even more difficult and struggle consumes so much energy, effort and attention. You might find it helpful to revisit the content for Week 2 where this is explored in more detail.
It’s totally natural and normal that new thoughts, ideas, and stories will show up as you practice the AWAKE exercise. If that’s happening while you are visualizing the existing ones, you can just add them into your visualization — perhaps even welcome them to the party.
Remember your goal isn’t elimination (your experience tells you that’s not possible — so why go to all that effort). Your goal is to be more of an observer. To experience them with less resistance. To move away from trying to fight them.
Is there anything useful here?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Ups and downs are all part of the journey — what matters is ongoing, committed action!
As you shared, if you rate your progress based on something you cannot directly control (such as sleep!) you can set yourself up for struggle. More useful indicators of progress might include reflecting on: what you are learning, the level of power and influence sleep has over your actions, and the consistency of your ongoing practice 🙂
Thanks for sharing your awareness that good sleep doesn’t guarantee a good day, just as difficult sleep doesn’t guarantee a difficult day! So much goes into how our days go — sleep is probably one of them, but there is a lot more! Perhaps our actions have the most influence?
It sounds as though you are also giving yourself permission to experience the full range of human thoughts and feelings. That’s a wonderful act of self-kindness and can also help reduce your resistance to them — something that can make them more difficult. As you pointed out, acknowledgement tells your brain that you are listening — so perhaps it doesn’t have to yell quite so loud 🙂
I love the post-it note on your nightstand — “stay consistent, stay committed”. That truly is what counts, and it’s something you can control!
Thank you for sharing your progress and congratulations on getting off the medication!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That sounds difficult and it’s not unique or unusual.
After a difficult night, there’s more sleep drive to help overpower any arousal that might be present. After a better night, there’s less sleep drive — so if you are putting pressure on yourself to make sleep happen, putting effort into making sleep happen, trying to fight or avoid any thoughts and feelings that might show up, then sleep is less likely to happen and struggle becomes even more likely.
Does this explanation help with any confusion? How do you respond to those difficult nights as they happen, and what problem are you trying to solve with that response?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Relating to the experiences of others can help remind you that you aren’t alone and can be a great way to practice some self-kindness, too!
If you feel it might be useful to give sleep less of your focus and attention during the night, alternatives might include activities that you find enriching, pleasant, or enjoyable. This might be something that’s aligned with your hobbies, interests, or values.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I think I’d agree with that @Romans — it’s the intent behind our actions that matters!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It sounds as though you are now taking a far more natural and effortless approach to sleep, which also creates better conditions for sleep!
As you shared, you will still have difficult nights from time to time — they come with being a human being! — but they now have far less power and influence over your life.
Similarly, as you struggle less with anxiety it becomes less powerful and less influential when it shows up (which it will always do from time to time since anxiety is a natural and normal human emotion!).
Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best for the future!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You are a fantastic self-advocate and your growth mindset meant that you didn’t give up when you realized CBT-I wasn’t an approach that clicked for you!
Your commitment to a new approach based on acceptance and your conscious effort to notice and acknowledge the glimmers and the presence of good stuff (no matter how small) motivated you to keep moving forward.
I would agree that this really is a journey of self-discovery. Your willingness to explore it as such and to take everything as a learning experience no doubt contributed to the progress you are sharing with us.
I wish you all the best for the future and thank you for sharing your transformation!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Your willingness to practice and commit to a new approach set you up for success, @Ros! As you shared, this approach doesn’t immediately create (or guarantee) perfect sleep every night — but it does reduce the struggle, keep you moving toward the life you want to live, and, as a bonus, it creates significantly better conditions for sleep to happen!
You are clearly struggling far less with difficult thoughts and feelings such as anxiety and, as a result, they are losing their power and influence over you. You are better able to live the life you want to live.
All these results are a result of your own commitment to change and your commitment to ongoing, meaningful, and workable practice. Thank you for sharing 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
What you’ve both shared here is difficult — and what you’ve both shared here is not unique or unusual. It’s all part of the insomnia struggle, which can probably be distilled down to this: the more we try to make sleep happen the more we struggle with sleep.
@NOOR — As you have chased after sleep (completely understandably, by the way!) it seems you have no real sleep schedule; you are in bed until noon, or 2:00 PM and that makes it so much harder for your sleep to do what it wants to do (take care of itself).Similarly, as you have tried to (again, understandably!) fight or avoid anxiety you have found the anxiety gets even more powerful and even more difficult.
Reading can be a more useful alternative compared to battling away, going to war with being awake and going to war with difficult thoughts and difficult feelings. It’s not going to make sleep happen, though (but not being at war might mean that conditions for sleep are a bit better!).
“I’ve tried even accepting the situation, but even with acceptance, sleep doesn’t come.”
If you are practicing acceptance with the goal of making sleep happen, you aren’t practicing acceptance — you are still trying to make sleep happen. That, as your experience is telling you, is what’s supplying your insomnia with the oxygen it needs to survive.
“I’m utterly perplexed as to what else I can do to restore my sleep to how it used to be.”
There might be an insight here. When sleep was good and wasn’t an issue or a concern, how did you make great sleep happen?
@beckycolorado: Your brain is doing its job of looking out for you. It doesn’t need to protect you from a struggle and battle with wakefulness when you are in your chair reading. However, when you get into bed — a place that’s become a battleground — it’s going to fire up to keep you safe. It has learned to believe that being awake is a threat. It wants to protect you from that threat.Since you recognize this as an obstacle to sleep, like most human beings you are probably going to try to calm your mind or try to fight whatever your brain is doing.
However, this doesn’t work.
Your brain thinks there’s a threat. When you try to fight or ignore all the difficult thoughts and feelings it is generating in an attempt to protect you from that threat, it’s not going to give in — it thinks you are in danger! — instead, it’s going to make all those thoughts and feelings even more intense.
Imagine if you saw a child about to step into a busy street without looking. You yell at them to stop in an attempt to protect them. They ignore you. Do you stop yelling, or do you yell even louder?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
