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Remember that the sleep window isn’t something that’s intended to control sleep — because, as you know from experience, sleep cannot be controlled!
The sleep window is simply one tool that can be used to help us move away from chasing after sleep.
That’s it!
Falling asleep an hour earlier than you planned or getting out of bed half-an-hour later than you intended isn’t going to sabotage your sleep — but any “self-punishment” you might dish out to yourself can make things more difficult because it’s all too easy to then get tangled up in a struggle, trying to fight or avoid your thoughts and feelings (and wakefulness itself).
Note: By self-punishment I mean the human inclination to talk and behave toward ourselves in an unkind way when things are difficult or aren’t going as we’d like them to be.
What do you feel would be the most workable way to respond to your legitimate concerns and worries as you move forward?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the course — now you’ve enrolled, I’ve moved your topic to the client forum 🙂
Fear will show up from time to time for as long as you are a human being — it can be very difficult to experience and it will always come and go as it chooses.
It’s more likely to get stuck if we try to fight or avoid it — your brain generates fear for a reason and if you try to fight or avoid it, it is more likely to make that fear even more powerful as a way to get you to listen!
This is something we’ll be exploring a lot more as the course progresses — in the meantime, it might be helpful to practice moving away from trying to get rid of certain thoughts and feelings by acknowledging them and allowing them to come and go as they choose instead.
Make sure you’re being kind to yourself, too — because this stuff is difficult!
Resting in the morning is fine! Just be mindful that if you are resting instead of doing things that are important and meaningful, you might find it harder to get to where you want to be and to do the things that really matter to you!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
There is no evidence that chronic insomnia causes any health condition or shortens life. I hope this helps!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Marie-C! I have moved your post from the public forum to the client forum, since you are now enrolled in the online course!
It’s great to have you here and let me say that your English is a lot better than my French! I wish you all the best and hope you get a lot out of the course!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I’ve moved your post into the client forum 🙂
With an out of bed time of 6:30 AM, an initial six-hour sleep window might start at around 12:30 AM. Do you think that would work for your lifestyle and might be worth starting with?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Ah, the setback — the true test of whether you’re a human being, or a robot. Congratulations, you passed with flying colors and it appears you are a human being!!!
The only time anxiety “wins” is when we try to fight or avoid it — because that’s a losing battle!
Sleep happens when it chooses to happen. We can set the stage for sleep, but that’s it. When we try to get involved in the process, it all becomes a lot more difficult — as you know from experience!
Imagine you are a keen walker. You walk every day. Then, one day, you get injured and find it really hard to walk.
As you recover, you find that you can walk a bit more each and every day. You’re feeling good. Positive. Happy. All the good stuff! Then, one day, you trip and fall.
Your brain, keen to do its job of looking out for you, then generates lots of difficult thoughts, feelings, and stories. It generates anxiety when you get ready to go out for another walk. It tells you stories like, “You’ll never walk without tripping ever again”.
So, now you face a choice. Do you go to war with your mind and try to fight or avoid all those thoughts and feelings (where has that got you in the past)? A war that will consume energy and attention and make it harder for you to do things that matter?
Or, do you acknowledge what happened, be kind to yourself in return, acknowledge all the thoughts and feelings you are experiencing as a human being, and continue to do things to help your recovery and do things that are important to you?
Is there anything useful here?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Anxiety can feel really unpleasant and it can be really difficult. And, it comes from your brain doing its job and looking out for you (thanks, brain!).
Anxiety doesn’t stop sleep from happening, but trying to fight or avoid that anxiety sure can (temporarily, at least, because sleep will always happen in the end).
When we try to fight or avoid anxiety or nighttime wakefulness (which is probably our default response as human beings!) we can get tangled up in a struggle that can make all this difficult stuff even more difficult, even more distracting, and even more exhausting).
Anxiety might also stop us from doing things that could be very useful, helpful, or important. And that’s when we’re more likely to get stuck — because then we’re not doing the things we want to do and the anxiety is still showing up anyway!
If the focus of our attention is on the anxiety itself, we can often miss out on everything else that’s going on around us. This can make it harder for us to notice the good stuff that might be present alongside the anxiety (this is where practicing the Three Good Things exercise can be useful) and it can also pull us away from doing things that matter to us.
What might life be like if we can get to a place where we aren’t constantly struggling with anxiety (and nighttime wakefulness)? Where we become skilled in acknowledging its presence when it shows up and are able to use our energy and attention to continue doing things that matter to us (such as traveling to Europe!) even in its presence?
In other words, would gaining “independence” from sleep and all the difficult thoughts and feelings that can come with nighttime wakefulness be worth pursuing?
If so, I think you’re going to find the course helpful!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It’s great to see you chiming in with some support, Marie-C — thank you!
@Sunshine — we’ll be exploring workable ways of responding to nighttime wakefulness in a lot of detail in Week 2. In the meantime, I don’t think there’s any need to get out of bed just because you’ve been awake for 20 minutes — that has the potential to create some struggle as it could be an effort to make sleep happen or get rid of wakefulness (things that cannot be controlled).Of course, if you’d prefer to get out of bed when you’ve been awake for a certain amount of time, you can certainly keep doing that — it’s not required, though. What we really want to do is move away from struggling with the wakefulness when it shows up, because that struggle is what can make things even more difficult 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Is that a workable goal, do you think? How can you make yourself get at least five hours of sleep without waking during the night?
If you were able to achieve that goal, I am guessing that you probably wouldn’t be enrolled in this course!
So, I wonder whether creating a goal that you cannot actually control, although understandable, might be setting you up for a struggle that can make all this difficult stuff even more difficult?
Perhaps an alternative approach might be useful, like what is shared and explored in this course?
I’d love to hear your thoughts!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing.
What time did you usually go to bed at night before sleep was an issue? Sometimes reflecting on our approach when sleep wasn’t a concern can be quite insightful!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Glad to hear it, Dave! I am a big fan of the NOW exercise, too — with practice it can really help us build skill in remaining more present and focused when the mind tries to pull us away from where we are and what we’re doing!
With that skill, we might be able to do more of what matters (and notice more of the good stuff around us) even when things are difficult.
In turn, that might help us move away from ongoing struggle.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
A few questions:
If you were to change your sleep window, what would your goal be?
What is your current sleep window and how did you choose the start and end times?
Is there a possibility that you might be trying to control sleep (something that cannot be directly or permanently controlled)? If so, might that be creating some additional struggle?
When you wake at 1:00 AM or 3:00 AM (or at any other time of the night for that matter!) how do you currently respond?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome aboard, Donika! Totally natural and normal to feel stuck — to get unstuck we might need to explore (and implement) a new approach.
Since it sounds as though the approach you were pursuing before you enrolled on this course wasn’t getting you where you want to be, have you picked up any ideas on how you might change your approach, even at this very early stage of the course?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing!
It’s normal to have lots of thoughts in your mind when you wake — and at any other time of the day or night. That’s your brain, doing its job and looking out for you! We’ll be exploring how we respond to those thoughts as the course progresses 🙂
It sounds as though you’ve learned that you are capable of generating good nights of sleep and that practicing the 3 Good Things exercise is helping you expand your focus onto things other than sleep!
You’re off to a great start 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
As you might have learned from the Week 1 content of the course, you don’t need to keep a sleep diary or track your sleep in any way!
In terms of doing the right thing, what is your current approach to nighttime awakenings and is that working for you?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
