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Welcome to the forum, Sophie — and congratulations on the little one!
It’s not too surprising that you haven’t found medication or sleep hygiene to be helpful long-term solutions since neither really tackle the problem of insomnia — the struggle we engage in to get rid of wakefulness (and the difficult thoughts and feelings that often come along for the ride) that often end up supplying insomnia with the oxygen it needs to survive.
Did you give my free insomnia sleep training course a try? How did you get on with it? Did you pick up any helpful or useful insights?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum, Mahi. It makes complete sense that you’re feeling anxious about your mom’s health — it might be more concerning if you didn’t experience any worry or anxiety in that situation!
Sometimes difficult thoughts and feelings remind us of things that are important to us — they contain important messages. With this in mind, they don’t necessarily need to be fought. We don’t necessarily need to fight or avoid what our mind is doing — and, sometimes, it’s the fight that makes things more difficult.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome! Plenty of (hopefully relatable!) stories can be found in the Insomnia Coach podcast — and, of course, we’d love to hear your story whenever you feel ready to share it!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Difficult thoughts and feelings all come from a good place — your mind doing its job of looking out for you! By themselves, they don’t guarantee that sleep won’t happen — but trying to fight or avoid your thoughts and feelings sure can make sleep (and living the life you want to live) a lot more difficult!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I think one way we can let go is to move away from trying to fight or avoid all the difficult stuff that we cannot control — for example, nighttime wakefulness, our thoughts, our feelings.
Since we can’t control these things, the more we try to fight or avoid them, the more we struggle — and the struggle usually makes everything more difficult as all that stuff pushes back, consumes our energy, and distracts us from doing things that matter and from the world around us.
An alternative might involve acknowledging all this difficult stuff and allowing it to exist and to come and go as it chooses (even though you might wish it wasn’t present, there it is) — and continuing to engage in activities (no matter how small) that keep you moving toward the life you want to live, even in the presence of this difficult stuff.
You might also find it helpful to be a bit kinder to yourself. What you’re going through is hard — if your best friend or a loved family member was going through what you’re going through, what would you say to them? How would you treat them? Please consider talking to yourself and treating yourself with a similar level of kindness, too.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum! If you have any questions or wish to share any concerns (or insights!) please feel free to post them here!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing! It sounds as though you’ve discovered that you are capable of generating sleep without any kind of medication — an insight that will likely be helpful for some time to come!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
The world record for continuous wakefulness is 11 days — but that took someone immense effort and was extremely difficult to achieve. Most of us aren’t trying to stay awake so sleep usually happens a lot sooner than that!
Sleep always happens in the end, no matter what. You might find this video helpful: Even if you have chronic insomnia, sleep drive always wins — you can sleep and you will sleep!
Finally, not a single study has found that chronic insomnia increases the risk of death or causes any health problem.
I hope this helps.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I wonder if this might be connected to hypnic jerks — something that can definitely make things difficult and yet tends not to respond well to our understandable efforts to fight or avoid them.
Have you discussed this with your doctor? If you’re given a clean bill of health, these symptoms might be connected to a heightened level of arousal.
You might find this YouTube video (and all the comments that come with it) helpful: Why you jerk yourself awake every time you try to fall asleep (and what to do about it).
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Can you describe that brain noise in a bit more detail for us, Ernie? And, how are you currently responding to the appearance of that brain noise? How helpful is that response proving to be?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
If you don’t think that driving would be safe, it’s important not to drive.
People with chronic insomnia rarely fall asleep without warning during the day — they’re typically “tired but wired” during the day rather than excessively sleepy. That’s why we don’t usually hear of people with chronic insomnia falling asleep behind the wheel during the day.
As you mentioned, it’s definitely harder to do things that matter when we are dealing with insomnia. What’s the alternative? The only possible alternative is to avoid doing things that matter, right?
In your experience, does that usually make things better? Do you feel as though that’s a workable approach? Only you know the answer to that since you are the expert on you!
We don’t need to change our thoughts (I am not sure that’s even possible) but sometimes changing our actions (something we can always control) is a more useful strategy!
I hope there’s something useful here.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Pomac! If your sleep quality was better, what would you be doing differently? What are you unable to do now that you would be doing if you were getting the type of sleep you’d like to be getting?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Checking whether or not you’re asleep is something you can’t really control — if your mind decides to monitor, it’s going to monitor. Trying to get it to stop might end up creating a struggle and make things more difficult!
Feeling tired is definitely a difficult part of insomnia and it’s another one of those things you can’t, unfortunately, directly control.
You can only control your actions — so when difficult thoughts and feelings show up you have a choice on how to respond.
You can respond in a way that might end up making things more difficult, create more struggle, and move you away from the life you want to live. For example, by trying to fight or avoid wakefulness and certain thoughts and feelings, and canceling plans.
Or, you can respond in a way that might help you practice moving away from struggle and toward doing things that help you live the life you want to live. For example, by acknowledging and making space for all this difficult stuff to exist and refocusing your attention toward doing things that matter and the world around you that exists, even in the presence of all this difficulty.
The first option is usually the easiest (and the least helpful) while the second option often requires a lot more commitment and practice (and is usually more workable).
Finally, it might be worth emphasizing that sleep restriction can’t make sleep happen and that’s not its intention. The goal is really to help you move away from chasing after sleep by doing things like going to bed before you’re sleepy enough for sleep, staying in bed later in an effort to catch up on sleep, or napping during the day — all these efforts create a struggle which can make things more difficult and can end up perpetuating sleep disruption.
I hope there’s something useful here!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing! Remember that the goal with the AWAKE exercise isn’t to make you relax (that’s a feeling that cannot be made to happen and trying to do so might create some struggle). The goal is to practice moving away from struggling with all this difficult stuff since it’s the struggle that tends to make things even more difficult.
As you mentioned, thoughts will almost certainly reappear — nothing you can do can delete thoughts from your brain (another reason why trying to get rid of them is a futile battle!).
When they come back, you have another opportunity to practice acknowledging them and allowing them to come and go as they choose. Observing them rather than going to war with them. Building a new skill that will help you become better at moving away from struggle.
As your mind suggested, you might find sleep difficult when you travel to see family this weekend (but you might not).
And yet, that’s totally out of your control.
What’s within your control is the action of traveling to see family — doing something that’s aligned with your values and that will keep you moving toward the kind of life you want to live, independently of sleep and regardless of the thoughts, feelings, and stories your mind might be coming up with as it does its job of looking out for you.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Isn’t it amazing what the mind can come up with as it does its job of looking out for us?!
Thank you for sharing the thoughts you identified as you practiced the NOW exercise — I am sure many people will find the thoughts you shared very familiar! In particular the “no progress” story is very common and can so easily derail us — if we are practicing, we are making progress, regardless of what our minds might try to tell us!
How have you been getting on with opening up to the presence of those thoughts and refocusing your attention on where you are and what you are doing when they show up?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
