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I think you can do whatever you like in bed as long as it’s pleasant and not a sleep effort. Whenever we do something in an attempt to make sleep happen (a sleep effort), we are trying to sleep — and when we try to sleep, sleep usually becomes a lot more difficult!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
If your brain is playing with you, perhaps you can play back, too? Turn all those thoughts and feelings it might be generating into colorful words, shapes, patterns — even cartoons? Perhaps give them different voices, silly names, etc. This way, you’re acknowledging them but they might be a bit less likely to overpower you!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I’ve done an 8k (indoor) row 15 minutes before bed and slept just fine. I don’t really think this is something we need to be too concerned about!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Sometimes it can be helpful to know that waking during the night is a normal part of sleep — often it only becomes problematic when we try to avoid it, try to make more sleep happen, put pressure on ourselves to fall back to sleep, or start trying to fight or avoid the difficult thoughts and feelings that might come with that wakefulness.
Sleep restriction doesn’t prevent nighttime wakefulness and it doesn’t make sleep happen. It’s really just a tool that helps to prevent us from “chasing” after sleep — from engaging in unhelpful sleep efforts such as going to bed before we are sleepy enough for sleep (because we really want sleep to happen) and staying in bed later after difficult nights.
In terms of that daytime exhaustion, does it tend to vary as the day progresses or in response to what you are doing?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I think a helpful response can be to acknowledge what you are going through, to be kind to yourself, and then to redirect your focus onto the things you can control — the actions and behaviors that help create good conditions for sleep while also (and perhaps most importantly) engaging in daytime activities that keep you moving toward the life you want to live, even after difficult nights and even in the presence of the difficult thoughts and feelings that often come along for the ride.
When it comes to the medications you mentioned, the American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM) states the following:
We suggest that clinicians not use trazodone as a treatment for sleep onset or sleep maintenance insomnia (versus no treatment) in adults.
For Ambien (zolpidem), the AASM task force found “…weak evidence of efficacy in the treatment of sleep onset and maintenance insomnia..” although “…benefits were deemed to marginally outweigh harms.”.
The AASM also states:
We recommend that clinicians use multicomponent cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia for the treatment of chronic insomnia disorder in adults.
With that being said, we are all different — there’s no one-size-fits-all approach here.
We all need to do whatever is right for us.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
We always have the choice over whether we fight! I think we set ourselves up for less of a battle and more of an approach of acceptance when we start by acknowledging everything we are thinking and feeling. Naming the thoughts and feelings. Noticing if (and where) we feel them in our body. Observing all of this, making space for it to exist, and allowing it to come and go as it pleases.
Traditional CBT-I does tend to encourage evaluating, challenging, and even trying to change our thoughts — but I think that can end up being quite distracting. We can end up tangled up in a struggle with our mind, trying to alter our thoughts when all that energy might be better used living the kind of life we want to live instead!
We are all different, though — there’s no one-site-fits-all approach, so I’d simply suggest exploring whichever option you feel would be most workable for you!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Yes, you got it with the extra questions! You might even find it helpful to add another box where you write in 1-3 things that you are feeling grateful for — a “gratitude” log, so to speak.
Since wakefulness is a normal part of sleep, there’s no need to do anything when you are awake in bed at night. You might simply give yourself permission to experience some rest.
If that wakefulness feels really unpleasant, you have the opportunity to do something more pleasant instead. That activity might be something you do in bed or it might be something you do out of bed.
I hope there’s something useful here!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you for the opportunity go into a bit more detail on this subject! I think our opinions on this are actually not all that different!
First, I think we need to emphasize that there’s a distinction between short-term “thought control” and long-term “thought control”.
So, for example, if we feel really worried we might distract ourselves by doing something else and then feel less worried. If we feel really stressed we might have a few alcoholic drinks and then feel less stressed.
Over the longer term though, that worry and that stress is going to come back.
So, what do we do then? Engage in furious and endless distraction? Drink more and more alcohol?
As human beings, we are always going to experience the full range of human thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
Some feel good. Some don’t. Some are helpful. Some aren’t.
Since difficult thoughts and feelings don’t feel good, it’s only natural that we don’t want to experience them. So, we often try to fight or avoid them.
It’s when we engage in this battle that we are at risk of getting “hooked” by all those difficult thoughts and feelings — to get jerked around by them, distracted by them, consumed by them.
The end result is we can end up moving away from the life we want to live as we try to fight or avoid all those unpleasant and difficult thoughts and feelings.
A more workable approach might be withdrawing from that battle with the mind.
Not trying to control our thoughts and feelings.
Allowing difficult thoughts and feelings to show up, hang out, come and go as they please.
Instead of getting tangled up in a battle with them, maybe we can acknowledge their presence instead. And, in their presence, refocus our attention on whatever is most useful for the task at hand.
With practice, we might start to become more aware of when we are getting hooked by our thoughts and feelings — and we might become more skilled in unhooking from them, and continuing to move toward the life we want to live, even in their presence.
So, as you suggested in your post, while our thoughts are generally unstoppable, we always have control over our response — and we can respond in a way that’s workable and helpful or we can respond in a way that’s not very workable and not very helpful over the long term.
With all this in mind, I can’t think of many things more empowering than being able to more effectively respond to our thoughts and feelings and not feel totally controlled by them!
Please let me know if this helps clarify things!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for the great question, WhitneyB!
I think any time we do something with the goal of making sleep happen we are engaged in a sleep effort — an attempt to sleep.
With this in mind, can you think of any things that you might be doing in an attempt to make sleep happen, avoid nighttime wakefulness, or otherwise “protect” your sleep?
Perhaps you might be going to bed earlier than you otherwise would? Maybe you are staying in bed later in the morning, spending a lot of time researching sleep, modifying your plans in response to sleep, tossing and turning through the night in an attempt to make sleep happen? Perhaps you are engaged in a battle with your mind, trying to fight or avoid all the difficult thoughts and feelings that usually come with insomnia.
These are just a few examples!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum, boke!
Thoughts like, “What if I don’t sleep well tonight?” don’t stop sleep from happening — but the almost default human response of trying to fight or avoid thoughts like that sure can! That’s because we then engage in a battle with our mind — and, if we are heading into battle, our brain probably isn’t going to let us sleep!
Perhaps acknowledging and allowing all the thoughts your brain wants to generate (as it does its job of trying to look out for you) might be a more helpful strategy? Thoughts tend to come and go in their own time — if you became an observer rather than a fighter, I wonder what kind of effect that might have?
It can definitely be difficult to get out of bed around the same time after a difficult night. If, however, you know from experience that staying in bed doesn’t seem to be a helpful strategy, perhaps a different approach might be more helpful?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Exercising doesn’t really have much effect on sleep. It’s generally good for our health and might be one of those things that’s aligned with our values and helps us live the kind of life we want to live. It’s not something that can make sleep happen or prevent sleep from happening, though.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Unfortunately with sleep, the more we try the harder it becomes. Sleep happens best when we eliminate all effort to sleep and any pressure we might put on ourselves to sleep.
Furthermore, when we’ve been awake for long enough, sleep will ALWAYS happen!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Things sound very difficult for you, Black_Tea. Thank you for sharing and welcome to the forum.
I think one way we can get really tangled up when it comes to anxiety is that, because it doesn’t feel good and we don’t want to experience it, we end up trying really hard to fight it or avoid it.
Unfortunately, anxiety is something that doesn’t respond well to our efforts to get rid of it (and, for a long as we are human beings, we will experience anxiety). The more we try, the more powerful that anxiety can feel — and the more influential it might be over our lives (and our sleep).
I wonder if a more workable approach might involve acknowledging the presence of difficult thoughts and feelings like anxiety and worry, being kind to yourself, and gently redirecting your attention and focus onto coming back into your body, coming back to the present, and engaging in activities that are important and/or meaningful to you — even in the presence of all that really difficult stuff?
The battle with anxiety is exhausting, distracting, and unpleasant. Perhaps just as (if not more) unpleasant than the anxiety itself. What might it feel like to withdraw from that battle?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Anxiety is difficult — and it’s one of those things that can become more difficult, the more we try to fight or avoid it. You might find this forum discussion helpful: https://insomniacoach.com/forums/topic/difficult-times/
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You sure have been through a tough ride, Zenobia — it’s little wonder that you’re experiencing insomnia! Have you tried any of the techniques that are discussed on this site that might help create better conditions for sleep and that might help you deal with all the difficult thoughts and feelings that come with insomnia in a more helpful/workable way?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
