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Hello Christina and welcome to the course. Feeling hopeless doesn’t mean you are hopeless — and I would suggest that enrolling in this course demonstrates that you aren’t hopeless. You have given yourself the opportunity to approach this difficult stuff in a way that will help you move toward the life you want for yourself.
Remember that the goal of the sleep window isn’t to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen. As your experience tells you, the more you chase after sleep the more elusive it can become.
The sleep window is simply a tool that can help you move away from chasing after sleep (by doing things like going to bed earlier or staying in bed later in an attempt to make sleep happen).
With this in mind, there might be nights when you don’t sleep during your sleep window. And, if you continue to only allow yourself to sleep during your sleep window, that is when sleep will start to happen — because sleep always happens in the end.
The racing heart and adrenaline when you get into bed is difficult, and it’s a normal part of the insomnia struggle. Your brain is firing up to protect you from the battle it predicts is about to come.
As you work through the course you’ll practice and develop skills that will help you move away from battling (and the struggle it creates). In turn, this can help train your brain that nighttime wakefulness isn’t a threat that it needs to fire up to protect you from.
You are clearly doing what matters most — you are taking action. Consuming the information shared in the course can be helpful, but it doesn’t make change happen. Action is what makes change happen. And, action is hard. You are putting in the work. You are moving closer to where you want to be
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome aboard, Lou! I am sorry to hear the birth of your first child was traumatic. As you shared, insomnia can be a long and lonely journey. You are not alone and I wish you all the best with the course.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
My suggestion would be to do whatever you want to do during your sleep window. The only thing to be mindful of is your intent — because it can be so easy to engage in activities in an attempt to make sleep or sleepiness happen and the more we chase after sleep the more elusive it can become.
I would also add that, since you are the expert on you, it can be helpful to avoid anything that you know to be too stimulating (trampolining, for example).
To use your example, some people find TV relaxing and others don’t. So, I’d invite you to do what feels right for you. This is your time.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the course!
Feeling tired can be related to sleep. It can also be related to many other things. I sleep well and frequently feel tired as I juggle work, family life, and all the obligations that come with being a human being!
If our experience suggests we cannot eliminate tiredness through effort, perhaps trying to do so might create a struggle that can make us even more tired. Perhaps what’s more important here are our actions — how we respond to tiredness.
Do we continue to do things that move us toward the life we want to live or do we do less and get pulled away from the life we want to live?
At the same time, it’s important to recognize that fatigue feels difficult because it is difficult — so acknowledging that and being kind to ourselves when we feel tired can be important, too.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Recognizing/acknowledging your thoughts is often a helpful first step toward not giving them power and that power comes when they control our actions in an unhelpful way!
We’ll be exploring this in more detail as you work through the course — in the meantime, acknowledging and even thanking your brain for looking out for you when certain thoughts and feelings show up might be a more helpful way to respond compared to trying to fight them or permanently delete them from your mind!
If nothing else, that’s an approach that might help you move away from struggling with them.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks to @Arnoldgonzalez112, you know you aren’t alone here @agnespg!
All those “what if” thoughts are natural and normal and are evidence that your problem-solving brain is doing its job and looking out for you (thanks, brain!). What do you think is the most workable way to respond to those thoughts?
When it comes to living your life and doing what matters when your sleep is poor, you seem to have two options:
1. Do less and get pulled away from the life you want to live
2. Continue to do things that matter to you and move toward the life you want to liveI am not sure there are other options — can you think of any?
As for taking medication to avoid certain experiences, that’s totally understandable! Is a strategy of avoidance working for you? Is it getting you closer to where you want to be?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
What you’re experiencing is difficult and it is a common part of the insomnia struggle that many people here will be able to identify with.
It can perhaps be summarized as: the more you try to make sleep happen, the more difficult it can become and the more you try to fight or avoid certain thoughts and feelings (such as anxiety) the more power and influence they can have and the more you can struggle with them.
With that in mind, what do you feel is a workable way to respond to all this? What guidance does your own experience have to offer?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome! There’s a lot of information about CBT-I on this page and the free insomnia sleep training emails break down a lot of the CBT-I techniques (with some influence from ACT-I, too).
If you have any questions as you work through all this material, just let us know!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum — you are not alone.
This feels difficult because it is difficult. As you shared, insomnia usually comes with a lot of difficult thoughts and feelings and most (if not all) of them are involuntary — they just show up, even though we might wish they didn’t. And then, we might start trying to get rid of them. And that can make them more powerful and more difficult. We might also be hard on ourselves when things feel difficult, and that rarely makes things any easier.
Since you’ve been dealing with this for 10 years, you’ve got a lot of experience and knowledge to draw from and that’s a real strength. What do you feel is the best way to respond when it is taking a long time to fall asleep? What do you feel is the best way to respond when those difficult thoughts and feelings show up?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Where are you and what are you usually doing when you feel really sleepy at 10:30 PM? Since you are the expert on you, what do you think you could do instead, that might make it more likely you’ll get closer to the start of your sleep window?
On a separate note, what made you choose a sleep window that starts at midnight? Why is it important to you not to go to bed before midnight?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the course! Your experience is a common part of the insomnia struggle. You said that when you experience a certain thought like “What if I don’t fall asleep?” you are likely to experience some uncomfortable sensations. You then get out of bed.
Why are you getting out of bed in response to certain thoughts and feelings? What are you trying to achieve when you do that? How is that response working for you?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Good on you for playing around with the AWAKE exercise — glad to hear you are finding it to be a helpful way to respond to the appearance of anxiety! It sounds as though you are a good visualizer and are using that strength to help you experience anxiety with a bit less struggle.
You can definitely practice the AWAKE exercise during the day, too! In Week 3 you’ll be given an exercise that’s intended more for daytime use as a way to practice refocusing your attention on where you are and what you are doing when difficult/distracting thoughts and feelings show up.
If you find that you prefer the AWAKE exercise, you can continue to use it during the day — and you don’t need to choose one or the other or have any rules here. You are the expert on you! These are tools. You decide how you’d like to use them
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing!
Everyone here is the expert on themselves — getting out of bed is always an option, but it’s never a requirement! And, if the goal behind getting out of bed is to make sleep happen or to get rid of certain thoughts and feelings, it can be counterproductive!
Everyone spends time awake in bed. The difference between people who are concerned about sleep and people who aren’t is that people who are concerned about sleep are more likely to struggle with that wakefulness — they’re more likely to try to get rid of it and more likely to try fighting any thoughts that show up with it. The bed becomes a battleground. A place to fight and/or a place to avoid.
People who aren’t concerned about sleep are likely to be far more “passive” when it comes to their response to being awake in bed. They are also more likely to spend time awake in bed intentionally — watching TV, scrolling on their phones, reading, maybe even working — and they sleep just fine.
So, being awake in bed isn’t really the problem — it’s trying to fight being awake in bed that can create the ongoing struggle. With this in mind, shifting the goal away from sleep and toward rest and doing anything (in bed or out of bed) that can help you build skill in experiencing wakefulness with less struggle can be helpful!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I think you’ve got it! The two exercises are similar in that they both aim to get us to practice acknowledging what we are thinking and feeling (and allowing our thoughts and feelings to exist) instead of immediately trying to fight what we are thinking and feeling.
The AWAKE exercise is intended to be used at night since it’s more open-ended. The NOW exercise is intended to be used during the day since it’s more about refocusing if we find ourselves getting distracted by our thoughts and feelings (compared to the ongoing observation that is perhaps more likely with the AWAKE exercise).
Does this help?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It’s great that you are playing around with this @Marlin63!
How are you accepting your thoughts and feelings when they show up? When you then think/focus on things that are important to you, what are you trying to achieve? When it works, what happens?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
