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Waking during the night is a normal part of sleep — and, quite often, those awakenings become more difficult the more we try to fight or avoid them.
There is no such thing as being so tired that you will not sleep. Sleep pressure builds with every minute of wakefulness.
What can often make sleep more difficult (and kick our problem-solving brains into overdrive) are all our attempts to make sleep happen and all our attempts to control what we might be thinking or feeling.
It sounds as though your experience tells you that being in bed, tossing and turning, struggling, and obsessing over sleep isn’t helpful. Perhaps an alternative might involve doing something more pleasant in bed (or out of bed if you prefer). If nothing else, you’ll be spending the time awake in a more useful way and you might also help train your brain that your bedroom isn’t a battleground.
We’ll be exploring all these issues in more detail as you continue to work through the course!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello @Lizag 🙂
Those jerks can be very frustrating and annoying. What guidance does your experience have to offer when you reflect on your ability to directly and permanently calm your nervous system through effort?
It’s great to hear that you are working on the self-talk — being hard on ourselves is so easy and it’s rarely helpful. How are you going to change the way you talk to yourself?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing, Becc! Your superpower of self-reflection helped you realize that although those feelings are difficult and unpleasant, they aren’t harmful — and that battling with them only gives them more power and influence and makes them more difficult.
As you practice making space for them to exist they are better able to come and go — and, without the addition of struggle, they can soften a little and become less powerful.
Reducing resistance can also require less energy and attention, making it easier for you to do more of what matters each day.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Waking during the night is a normal part of sleep.
(Although it can also be a symptom of other issues such as sleep apnea, that will usually comes with additional symptoms such as daytime sleepiness, pauses in breathing, very loud snoring, and/or waking with a headache and/or a dry mouth or sore throat.)
Other than taking a PM medication when you wake, how else are you responding to those awakenings and what are you learning from how you are responding?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It would be nice to see more of those who receive a reply acknowledge the response they receive and perhaps even stick around to share their experience and insights on the posts of others!
I suspect many people who post once and then disappear are still looking for the “secret” or the “quick-fix” — if it’s not immediately forthcoming in a reply they might continue their search elsewhere. Of course, since there typically isn’t a secret or quick-fix, people who are pursuing that approach might be less likely to stick around.
I can try adjusting the notification emails to gently encourage posters to acknowledge any reply they receive. I don’t want to take on the role of “head teacher” or “bossy boots” or be telling people what they should or shouldn’t do, though.
How else might we encourage more participation from those who post questions and receive a response?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That might be a question best answered by your doctor. How do you currently respond when you wake, and what are you learning from that?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It can feel confusing and frustrating when difficulties show up after things have been going well for so long! And, there’s nothing unique or unusual in that. Nights vary. Days vary.
You have the experience, the strength, and the knowledge to get through this part of your journey — just as you have overcome difficulties in the past.
When you woke and experienced that surge of adrenalin, you practiced accepting it and allowing it to be there. What made you choose to respond in that way?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You’re welcome!
One thing I might add here is that it’s OK to experience fear and to feel scared — that’s a normal human emotion!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Nights when sleep doesn’t happen as you might want it to are opportunities to practice what you are learning.
What does befriending wakefulness mean to you, why is it important to you, and how will you know when you’ve achieved that goal?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Sleep can happen regardless of the amount of light in our environment.
It sounds like your experience is telling you that the more you try to control sleep, the more of a struggle it becomes.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Your experience is not unusual!
It makes complete sense that you are measuring progress based on how you sleep each night — and, at the same time, perhaps that might be setting you up for some struggle if your experience tells you that sleep isn’t within your direct control.
Ups and downs and difficult nights and better nights are all part of the journey. What matters is what you are learning and how you respond when you hit these bumps in the road.
Have you talked about your experience and your concerns with your CBT-I therapist?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Edgar!
To answer your question, I guess it’s possible for some people to sleep less than four or five hours because sleep needs vary from person to person (and even from person to person sleep needs can change on a daily basis).
With that being said, I’ve not heard of anyone who *always* sleeps for less than two hours each night indefinitely. A string of nights of that kind of sleep are possible, but on a permanent basis I’ve not heard of any examples.
As you suggested, sleep misperception might play a role here — studies have found that people with insomnia typically under-report the amount of sleep they get at night (and people without insomnia typically over-report the amount of sleep they get at night).
I’d say that, ultimately, it’s hard to know how much sleep we are actually getting for sure (without overnight polysomnography) because we are asleep when it happens and sleep tracking devices aren’t necessarily accurate.
Nothing you’ve shared in your post strikes me as unique or unusual. You are dealing with all the difficulties associated with the insomnia struggle. I can’t say if or when you might get less sleep or more sleep in the future. And, I am going to guess that your experience tells you that sleep is out of your direct control anyway.
You can, on the other hand, always control your actions — and it’s your actions that might have the biggest influence on whether or not conditions are good for sleep to happen and whether or not sleep becomes an exhausting effort and struggle or is given permission to take care of itself and become effortless.
Moving away from the effort, the trying, and the resistance is usually very difficult and it can also be very scary. There will be ups and downs. It takes ongoing practice and the development of new skills. Not new skills to make sleep happen or control your mind, but new skills to give sleep the opportunity to take care of itself by removing yourself from the process.
I hope there’s something useful here.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello @Insomniaguy and welcome to the forum. You are understandably concerned by the fact it is taking more and more time for you to fall asleep. As a result, you are getting less and less sleep.
There is no evidence that insomnia causes any health problem whatsoever — and that includes mortality. This might explain why we see some people who aren’t on an actionable path away from the insomnia struggle able to live with it for decades.
I hope this provides some reassurance and if there’s anything else, please share!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Emmy and welcome to the forum. You’ve got a lot going on and that makes dealing with sleep disruption even more difficult.
Many people in a situation similar to yours have found the more they try to calm their nervous system, the more it seems to fight back. What has your experience been?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum — you are not alone!
It sounds like your experience suggests that, even when worry disappears, at some point it’s going to come back again. That perhaps makes sense when we consider that worry is a natural and normal human feeling.
It also sounds like worry is evidence of your brain doing its job of looking out for you and reminding you of what matters. You want to do well at your new job. That’s important to you.
In conclusion, perhaps worry comes from a good place and perhaps worry is out of your direct control.
Actions, on the other hand, are always within your control — and that might be empowering since it means you get to decide how you respond to worry.
You can try to fight or avoid it, battle, and struggle with it (and where does that get you) — or you can acknowledge and make space for it to exist (and perhaps even thank your brain for looking out for you!).
You also get to choose how you respond to nights when sleep doesn’t happen as you want it to, and whether you spend time reading fear-mongering articles or use that time to engage in actions that reflect who you are, who you want to be, and the life you want to live.
Since you are the expert on you, what feels like the most workable way of dealing with all this?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
