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Hello Molly! You’ve clearly got a human brain that’s doing its job of generating thoughts. Since it’s doing this 24/7, it’s going to throw out a good number of thoughts that you don’t like!
As you pointed out, something you always have control of are your actions. How you choose to respond when thoughts you don’t want to experience show up. How you choose to respond when sleep isn’t happening as you want it to. This means you are the one in control. Always. You are the one who has the power. Always.
Getting pulled back into the struggle is so easy, I’d suggest it’s actually quite normal! You’ve demonstrated just how far you’ve come simply by being aware of what’s going on. With that awareness, you get to choose how to respond. What advice does your experience have to offer?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You are finding that, even when you commit to actions that reflect who you are, thoughts about sleep still show up. And, even in their presence you are still doing things that matter. With this in mind, what makes those thoughts a problem?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
There seems to be a common theme here, which is perhaps not too surprising since we are all hard-wired to resist discomfort!
The theme seems to be that the more we try (or even focus on trying) to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen, the more difficult and elusive it seems to become.
Since each of you are the experts on yourselves, what do you feel is the most workable way to respond when you are awake when you’d rather be asleep, and/or if you are noticing arousal or difficult thoughts and feelings show up when you’d rather they weren’t present at all?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Abandoning all the effort and reducing all the pressure you might put on yourself to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen is a huge weight off your shoulders. You are letting go.
You are freeing up your focus, energy, and attention for other areas of your life. You are giving sleep the opportunity to take care of itself while you focus on living the life you want to live.
The appearance of this insight is all thanks to your superpowers of self-reflection, self-awareness, and your evident growth mindset.
Thanks for sharing 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You’ve committed to practicing the AWAKE exercise as a way to build skill in experiencing wakefulness and all the difficult thoughts and feelings that might come with it, with less struggle.
As a result, you are finding that being awake has far less power and influence over you. By giving yourself permission to stay in bed when you are awake because that feels comfortable, you are also reducing any pressure you might otherwise put on yourself to make sleep happen. You are demonstrating self-compassion.
Your reflections here are evidence of your growth mindset. Thanks for sharing!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You have a superpower of self-awareness, being able to identify how you are most likely to find yourself struggling, @Janie.
A lot of your difficult thoughts and feelings relate to past experiences. You shared that one way to deal with this is to practice being aware of that and to allow them to move on. How might you do that?
You also asked for advice on a better approach. What might a better approach look like — and what would make that a better approach?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It sounds as though your experience is telling you that you haven’t lost the ability to sleep — you can sleep on that uncomfortable sofa, after all!
It also sounds as though sleeping in your own bed is more aligned with the life you want to live. If that’s the case, how are you going to move toward that goal?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Some people find it useful to reflect on this question: What does my experience tell me about my ability to make calmness happen, to make relaxation happen, or to delete anxiety from my mind?
If your experience suggests this is out of your control, how are ongoing (yet understandable!) attempts to control what cannot be controlled going to help you?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
This is a great question!
To me, “I will move away from efforts or rituals” to make sleep happen means being aware of, and making the choice on whether (or not) to do something with the intent/goal of making sleep happen.
As an example, reading a book because you enjoy reading and find that pleasant would not be an effort or a ritual to make sleep happen. Reading a book in an attempt to make sleep happen might be.
Only you know the true intent or goal behind your actions, since you are the expert on you!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
When you wake during the night and try to relax and listen to a podcast, what is your goal? When those things work, what happens?
If you have no intention to fall back to sleep when you get out of bed at 2:00 AM and drink some coffee, what makes that an issue?
You are recognizing that you are on a journey — and with any journey there will be ups and downs and there is always something to learn!
PS: You have access to the client area (including all course content and this forum) for six months, starting from the day you enrolled.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Your problem-solving brain is generating thoughts like, “Will I sleep again?” and “How will I progress from here?” as it does its job of looking out for you (thanks, brain!).
Thoughts themselves don’t usually require a lot of energy to produce. Trying to fight, avoid, or control them probably does require a lot of energy.
As you shared, an alternative to engaging in an exhausting and endless battle with these thoughts is to acknowledge them and to make space for them. To allow them to be present.
An understandable concern is that if you make space for them, maybe they’ll stay longer. When you don’t make space for them, do they quickly disappear and never return?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
This is a powerful insight. For change to happen, change needs to happen! It’s easy to get trapped in the struggle because change can be scary and change can be really hard.
You are responding to this insight with a growth mindset. Thanks to your strengths of self-reflection, honesty, and curiosity, you are learning and you are making progress. You’ve recognized and acknowledged the opportunity that now lies in front of you!
I wish you all the best as you continue to move forward 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
The support on offer here is wonderful 🙂
The more we chase after sleep the more elusive it can become. And, there’s no such thing as being back to square one because you are always learning and you are always growing.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Great question, @seana — and it was answered well by @Baukje 🙂
After a difficult night, sleep pressure will be higher because sleep pressure builds with every minute of wakefulness. So, if you continue to observe your sleep window, sleep becomes more likely on subsequent nights — but there’s never any certainty about what sleep will be like from night to night.
The fundamental thing is this — your body will always generate, at the very least, the minimum amount of sleep it needs. All you need to do is give sleep the opportunity to happen 🙂
What have you learned from your own experience since you originally posted your question?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You’re allowing yourself to go to bed within an hour of the start of your sleep window, which gives your body the opportunity to generate more sleep if conditions feel right for that to happen. You are also building skill in expanding the focus of your attention by acknowledging the good stuff that can be present (even when things are difficult) by practicing the three good things exercise.
Two full nights of sleep in a row is evidence that you are capable of generating full nights of sleep. It doesn’t mean there won’t be ups and downs in the future, but it proves that your sleep system is capable and functional!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
