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You are clearly a proactive self-advocate, Amber — and what wonderful strengths they are!
When we find a sleep window helpful, it can be so easy to believe that the time we go to bed and the time we get out of bed are what make sleep happen — so when we make a change and experience difficult nights, we can blame the sleep window (our ourselves for making the “wrong” kind of change).
The truth is that the sleep window is merely one tool that can help us move away from chasing after sleep. It’s not going to magically create sleep or protect sleep and we will often need more tools to help us deal with any wakefulness that shows up during the sleep window if that wakefulness pulls us into a struggle.
It sounds as though you are doing a great job at building skill in experiencing wakefulness and anxiety with less struggle — you have the foundations in place to do well as you continue to work through the course (remember there’s no need to get out of bed when you are awake, unless you want to)!
As you pointed out, going one step further and acknowledging *why* the good things you noticed happened can be so helpful. It widens the focus of our attention even further and it might also help us recognize that our actions give us the opportunity to notice (and experience) more of the good stuff!
Thanks again for sharing
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for getting back to me! A few more questions:
1. What time does your sleep window begin, what time does it end, and how did you choose those times?
2. Around what time do you find it hard to stay awake and where are you and what are you doing at that time?
3. It is often very difficult to get out of bed by the end of the sleep window — especially after a night of no sleep. What is good about staying in bed when the sleep window ends and how would staying in bed after your sleep window ends move you closer to your goals?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hi @elvinalim! It’s totally natural and normal to experience difficult thoughts and feelings when you are awake at a time you want to be asleep — that’s evidence that you have a problem-solving brain that is doing its job of looking out for you (thanks, brain)!
What matters is how you respond — because if you are like most human beings, you probably respond by being hard on yourself and/or trying to fight those thoughts and feelings. And that response can create a struggle that makes things more difficult.
An alternative response involves building skill in acknowledging the presence of those natural thoughts and feelings, being kind to yourself, and allowing them to come and go as they choose. Not struggling with them. Being more of an observer of them, rather than an opponent of them.
This is a big topic and something we’ll be exploring in a lot more detail as you continue to work through the course!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Those “relapses” can be really difficult — and they are natural, they are normal, and they are evidence that you are a human being and not a robot. They can also be insightful learning experiences. They are never failures.
A few questions for you:
1. You shared that your sleep window ends at 6:30 AM — what time does it start (and how did you choose those start and end times)?
2. Are you feeling sleepy (finding it hard to stay awake) when you go to bed at night?
3. When you are in bed and not falling asleep, how do you respond?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Good on you for implementing a sleep window — that’s a change that is often challenging!
How did you choose your sleep window start time of around 10-10:30 PM and how did you choose your out of bed time of around 6:15-6:30 AM?
With those start and end times you are allotting around 8 hours for sleep, so if you tend to average closer to 5 hours of sleep you might be setting yourself up for 3 hours of wakefulness during the night. That’s not necessarily a problem, depending on your relationship with that wakefulness — it’s just something to bear in mind
When you feel really sleepy at around 9:00 PM, where are you and what are you doing? Have you tried going to bed at 9:00 PM? If so, what happens?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
This is a great question that would best be answered by your doctor. Have you sought medical advice for this issue?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing this natural, normal (and common) issue, @nozzzz!
It sounds as though it’s important for you to be back in your normal bed. How does sleeping in a guest bed help you get closer to that goal?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
How do you currently deal with that, Mallen? And how is your approach working out for you?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello @mkamoski and welcome to the forum! Are you currently working with a CBT-I therapist?
You currently have a sleep window of 7 hours which would normally imply that you average at least 6 hours of sleep each night. If that’s not the case, that might be something to look at.
The getting out of bed after 20 minutes or so is a common technique used in CBT-I — it’s not something I usually recommend these days since it can lead to us putting more attention and focus on sleep, putting pressure on ourselves to fall asleep, and lead to more sleep-related effort.
Typically, the suggestion is to return to bed after a similar amount of time or when you feel sleepy enough for sleep. I think choosing to engage in an activity that is enjoyable or meaningful to you when out of bed is a great idea
Exercise cannot generate sleep (but it’s usually good for our overall health) and the human body doesn’t require any supplement to generate sleep.
I hope there’s something useful here and I wish you all the best!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for the great question! As you’ll likely notice as you continue to work through the course, our focus here is on living a rich and meaningful life, independently of sleep and independently of difficult thoughts and feelings.
That’s because living a rich and meaningful life involves actions that matter to us. Actions that reflect (and serve) our values. And actions are always within our control. And the more we commit to actions that matter, the less power and influence sleep, difficult thoughts, and difficult feelings have over our lives.
So what truly matters in the example you shared is that you got out of bed earlier than usual to pick someone up — you committed to an action that was important to you. Your focus was on doing something that mattered. Living life.
The alternative would be not picking that person up, in an attempt to protect sleep (something you can’t control anyway).
So, unplanned interruptions are not a problem. Life ain’t perfect. It’s messy and it doesn’t always follow the plans we have for it!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing — I wish you all the best!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum, asthut! Nervous feelings and fears are natural and normal — they are evidence that your brain is doing its job of looking out for you. Many people find that when they (perhaps understandably!) try to fight or avoid those feelings they are more likely to struggle with them.
As you suggested, thinking about sleep isn’t necessary for sleep to happen. And, not thinking about sleep isn’t necessary for sleep to happen, either. Sleep can happen regardless of what we are thinking or feeling (or not thinking or feeling). When we go to war with our minds or wakefulness, though, sleep becomes very difficult.
How do you currently respond when those remaining difficult nights show up? How do you respond on the days following them?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Congratulations on the birth of your baby! You aren’t alone in experiencing that postpartum insomnia, Hannah. Many people have shared their own experiences with it here in the forum, and it’s mentioned in more than one podcast episode!
It sounds as though the more you try to make sleep happen, the more you struggle, and the more difficult everything becomes. If that’s the case, it might be time to practice a new approach.
This link might be a helpful place to start: https://insomniacoach.com/forums/topic/100-cured-from-postpartum-insomnia/
Is there anything useful there?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello again, Dinky!
What is your goal when you do that deep breathing and mindful meditation?
As you mentioned, hormones can influence sleep — but they don’t typically create or maintain chronic insomnia (that usually comes from all our understandable attempts to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen).
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Tisha and welcome to the forum! Are you deliberately trying to make sleep happen in two separate “shifts” at night?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
