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You are getting results because you have stayed committed, persistent, and consistent, Jay — good on you! All the improvements you are enjoying are down to your own efforts and your own, natural, ability to sleep!
To answer your questions, you could try giving yourself a clock-watching cut-off time before the start of your sleep window. So, maybe 30 minutes or an hour before the sleep window begins you no longer check the time and you just go to bed when you feel sleepy enough for sleep.
If you don’t usually sleep when you try to nap then this tells us one thing — you aren’t sleepy enough for sleep! So, perhaps you are feeling the effects of fatigue instead? If so, that’s good news since there’s a lot we can do to reduce fatigue — things like movement, physical activity, and the pursuit of things we enjoy.
It sounds as though you are still experiencing some conditioned arousal when you get into bed, and that’s normal. Just as it took time for you to learn that the bed is an unpleasant place to be, it will take time (albeit usually less time!) for you to learn that the bed is a pleasant place to be! Ultimately, we can only do that by getting out of bed whenever being in bed feels unpleasant (and only being in bed when being in bed feels pleasant).
I hope this helps!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
What an awful thing to be told, Joon! The good news is that you *can* get a good night’s sleep again! It’s not surprising that you haven’t found sleeping pills to be helpful since they don’t address the thoughts and behaviors that perpetuate sleep disruption. As I suspect you also realize, alcohol isn’t the answer (alcohol actually reduces sleep quality).
Have you looked into (or tried) cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I)?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You’re doing well because you’re implementing what you’re learning and unleashing your natural ability to sleep Chee!
It might be helpful to be mindful of any covert sleep efforts that might creep into your routine — it can be so easy to believe that turning off all the lights, TVs, phones, and tablets for an hour before bedtime and then sitting alone in a dark cool place is generating sleep or sleepiness.
What all these behaviors can actually do is make you believe you need to do them in order to get a good night of sleep — this implies sleep can be controlled (when sleep cannot be controlled) and can increase arousal on any difficult nights after implementing such a ritual (as you might then feel the need to look for a new routine).
Ultimately, what we do as bedtime approaches doesn’t matter a whole lot — if you do something you find relaxing and enjoyable, that’s likely good enough!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum, Adam! If you don’t identify yourself as someone who worries much about sleep, it might be worth exploring three potential avenues for reducing the amount of time spent awake at night.
First, I’d suggest making sure that you’re allotting an appropriate amount of time for sleep. If you’re allotting too much time for sleep, this will virtually guarantee time awake at night.
Second, if you wake during the night but it feels good to be in bed, it might be worth staying in bed since conditions are right for sleep (if being in bed doesn’t feel good, that’s a good cue for getting out of bed).
Third, when you wake try to avoid checking the time since that immediately increases arousal and if you believe you won’t fall back to sleep if you wake around 4:45 AM this can easily become a self-fulfilling prophecy!
I hope this helps.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You’re definitely on the right track, orellanoc!
Ultimately, when we have been awake for long enough we will always sleep. Arousal can temporarily suppress sleepiness and make it harder to fall asleep — but, even then, we will always fall asleep sooner or later.
So, it sounds as though your goal is to make falling asleep easier and more predictable — and you can help reach this goal by ensuring that you are sleepy enough for sleep when you go to bed (sleepy is not the same as tired/exhausted!) and lowering arousal.
It sounds as though you’re doing well on the sleep drive front since you are only going to bed when sleepy (do you still have an earliest possible bedtime?). So, you might find it helpful to work on lowering arousal, too.
There are a few different ways we can lower arousal — we can simply get out of bed whenever being in bed doesn’t feel good and do something more pleasant until conditions feel right for sleep, we can engage in enjoyable daytime activities to give our mind something to focus on other than sleep, and we can explore the sleep-related thoughts that seem to generate worry and anxiety (since they are often not as accurate as they seem when we first have them).
Ultimately, no pill can generate sleep — the only thing that can generate sleep is your own biological sleep drive. Pills can generate sedation, or they can lower arousal, but they cannot generate sleep. So, any sleep you’ve been getting (even when taking pills) is sleep you have generated!
Furthermore, with enough time awake we will always sleep — so we certainly do not need a pill (or anything other than enough time awake) to generate sleep!
I hope this helps.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
As suggested by Chee, there is nothing we can do to make sleep happen (apart from being awake for long enough) — and as mentioned by @scottctj, if we do an activity with the specific intention of making sleep happen, sleep becomes a lot harder!
What we can do, is implement techniques that give sleep the best chance possible by building sleep drive, strengthening the body clock, and lowering arousal — that’s what cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) techniques do, and that’s why they’re so helpful for people with chronic insomnia.
Is this something you’ve tried, @Circene?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum, @TodaysEscape!
You might find it helpful to forget all about estimating half-an-hour before getting out of bed or returning to bed and just determining what to do based solely on how you feel.
So, if you wake during the night (which is a completely normal part of sleep, by the way!) if being awake in bed feels good, there’s no need to do anything — because conditions are right for sleep!
If, on the other hand, being in bed starts to feel unpleasant, that can be a good cue to get out of bed and do something more enjoyable instead. When you feel calm, relaxed, and sleepy, you might then return to bed and remain in bed for as long as being in bed feels good.
It doesn’t matter too much what you do when you get out of bed at night because nothing you do can generate sleep — and that’s never our goal, anyway! The only goal is to get out of bed when being in bed doesn’t feel good so that your mind has something else to focus on and so that you don’t reinforce a negative association between your bed and unpleasant wakefulness.
I hope this helps.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum! Feel free to share your experience with sleep, and let’s see if we can collaborate on a plan!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum @Bob77!
As suggested by @scottctj, sometimes sleep might not get back on track after whatever triggered it is no longer an issue because of how we react to the initial sleep disruption. In other words, it is our reaction to the sleep disruption that can perpetuate the sleep disruption.
A common thought that perpetuates sleep disruption is the belief that we will be unable to function after difficult nights. This thought can perpetuate sleep disruption because it increases arousal.
A common behavior that perpetuates sleep disruption is skipping or postponing daily events in response to difficult nights. This behavior can perpetuate sleep disruption because it guarantees that difficult nights have a bad outcome (we don’t give ourselves the opportunity to experience any other outcome) and this can lead to us putting more effort into sleep and worrying more about sleep — and this increases arousal, which makes sleep more difficult.
So, I think that by doing things that create really good conditions for sleep (such as building sleep drive by allotting an appropriate amount of time for sleep and strengthening the body clock by getting out of bed at the same time each day) you might also find it really helpful to go about your days as planned, regardless of how you sleep.
Doing that will give you the opportunity to experience positive (or at least just some OK) moments even after difficult nights. If you start to notice that you can get through the day, that you can still perform, and that you have more control over the quality of your days than how you sleep, you might start to worry a lot less about sleep — and this often leads to better sleep!
I hope this helps.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum, @Stephanie29! What you are experiencing is not unusual, so it can be addressed!
It’s not too surprising that you haven’t found CBD to be a guarantee for sleep, because CBD cannot generate sleep and because CBD doesn’t address the thoughts and behaviors that perpetuate sleep disruption!
As suggested by @scottctj, you will likely find it helpful to work on lowering arousal since that can be a big barrier to sleep.
You might also find it helpful to implement behaviors that build sleep drive because sleep drive can overpower the arousal system and make sleep easier.
One of the best ways to build sleep drive is to allot an appropriate amount of time for sleep — you can read more about this on the sleep restriction page here on this site.
I hope this helps!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You fit the model for insomnia pretty much perfectly, @sleepyone — and this is encouraging because it shows that your insomnia isn’t unique or unusual, and so it can be addressed!
Some of us are more predisposed to temporary sleep disruption — we might, for example, be more predisposed to stress, worry, or anxiety, or be very health-conscious/health focussed. When a specific event happens (for example, an illness) it might then trigger some sleep disruption.
So far, so normal!
Usually, sleep gets right back on track all by itself once the initial trigger has been resolved (for example, when we recover from an illness).
If it doesn’t, it’s almost always because the way we think about sleep changes — we might now pay a lot more attention to sleep, spend a lot of time thinking about sleep, start worrying about sleep).
We might also start to implement behaviors to improve our sleep (experimenting with different supplements and medications, spending more time in bed, napping, monitoring for sleep/the effects of sleep, modifying our days, etc).
Unfortunately, all these quite understandable thoughts and behaviors we implement in a bid to improve our sleep actually have the opposite effect and perpetuate the sleep disruption, turning it into a longer-term problem. This happens because these thoughts and behaviors can weaken our biological sleep drive, disrupt the body clock, and increase arousal.
So, you will almost certainly find it helpful to identify and tackle these thoughts and behaviors — and perhaps the best way to do that is through the implementation of evidence-based cognitive and behavioral techniques.
I hope this helps!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Having a child is a common trigger for sleep disruption, and that’s probably not too surprising! Usually, our sleep recovers as the baby develops a sleep/wake schedule — but sometimes our sleep might not recover, and that’s almost always because the way we think about sleep changes, and because we often implement behaviors in a bid to improve our sleep that actually perpetuate the sleep disruption.
So, since we can see that nothing about your insomnia seems to be unusual, there’s no reason to believe that you need to live with insomnia for the rest of your life! If you can identify and address the thoughts and behaviors that make sleep difficult, you will almost certainly get your sleep back on track!
As suggested by @Jess84, you might want to start by looking into sleep restriction, which is one component of cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I).
CBT-I techniques can be really helpful because they tackle the thoughts and behaviors that perpetuate sleep disruption.
I hope this helps.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
The good news, Susie, is that the sleep you got after taking half a pill is still sleep you generated all by yourself — because no medication can generate sleep!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Great to hear you got that long period of sleep — it was inevitable because sleep drive always wins in the end! If you regularly find yourself experiencing “rollercoaster nights” of short stretches of sleep followed by a night or two of better sleep, you might be allotting too much time for sleep. If that’s the case, this video might be helpful:
How to stop the sleep roller coaster and make sleep more consistent and more predictable.
You might also want to explore what it is about wakefulness that seems to generate worry or anxiety since it’s often the fear of wakefulness that can be a huge obstacle to sleep.
Not being able to nap is not unusual whatsoever because, ironically, people with insomnia are very rarely sleepy during the day (they’re typically fatigued instead). When we aren’t sleepy, it’s always difficult to sleep!
From the snippets of information you’ve shared, I can’t think of any reason why you wouldn’t find it helpful to implement cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) techniques.
I hope this helps.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Ups and downs are completely normal, Susie! Since you were at the stage where you were falling asleep within 15 minutes and sleeping for five to six hours with only one interruption to use the toilet, there’s no reason to think that won’t happen again — you have proven to yourself that you’re capable of that kind of sleep!
It can be helpful to recognize that you can sleep like that, but to avoid the temptation to put pressure on yourself to sleep like that! As soon as we put any effort into sleep or strive for sleep, that’s when sleep becomes very difficult.
Usually, the best way to react to a few difficult nights is not to react since our reactions are often unhelpful and can perpetuate the sleep disruption. So, I would encourage you to avoid the temptation to change things by spending more time in bed or modifying your days in response.
The good news when it comes to daytime fatigue is that we can do things to reduce that fatigue — we can pursue enjoyable and enriching daytime activities! These not only reduce fatigue but they improve the quality of our days and help us recognize that we can still have good days (or at least experience some positive moments) after difficult nights. Walking or bike riding sound like a couple of great activities to me!
Since you know from experience that sleeping pills aren’t a solution, it might be worth exploring whether reaching for a pill would be the right response. As you know, after four difficult nights, sleep drive will be very strong — and this makes sleep increasingly likely. If you take a pill when sleep drive is strong and sleep because of that strong sleep drive, it’s easy to believe you only slept because you took a pill — and that can make it hard to regain sleep confidence!
You’ve got this, Susie!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
