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Difficult nights can definitely make the days more difficult. If only there was a magic switch we could flip to make the exact amount and type of sleep that we want to get happen! Unfortunately, there isn’t — and any ongoing (and understandable!) attempts to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen tends to make everything more difficult.
As @hapsong offered, practicing refocusing on where you are and what you are doing when you find yourself getting distracted can be useful, as can being kind to yourself. This feels difficult because it is difficult. Remember: You have come this far thanks to your superpower of resilience. You can draw from it.
For as long as you are alive, your brain is always working. And, for as long as you are giving your body the opportunity to sleep, your body will always generate — at the very least — the minimum amount of sleep it needs.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It sounds as though your experience is telling you that the more you try to control and troubleshoot sleep, the more complicated and difficult it seems to become.
Since you are the expert on you, what do you think you should do, @hapsong?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
As you’ve discovered, you aren’t alone here @Pooochiny!
It sounds as though your experience is telling you that trying to make yourself feel calm and trying to get rid of certain thoughts and feelings can make them even more difficult and give them more power and influence over your life.
What might an alternative way of responding to these difficult thoughts and feelings look like?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
There’s so much great support and empathy on show here. A reminder that nobody struggling with insomnia is alone.
@Baukje: From your opening post, it sounds as though your brain is reminding you that what you have planned matters to you. It’s reminding you how much you love and care for the people around you. What might be the best way to respond to that information?—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You are committing to action and you are also giving yourself some flexibility, too.
There’s nothing unusual in finding it hard to stay awake for the start of the sleep window. Some people have found it helpful to make the hour before their sleep window begins the last time they check the time and then they simply go to bed whenever they feel ready to go to bed.
That might be a potential experiment to consider 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
This feels difficult because it is difficult.
Thanks to your superpowers of problem-solving and self-advocacy you reached out to your psychiatrist and now have a plan in place.
It’s totally possible to continue to practice what you’re learning in the course regardless of whether you are taking medication or not. And, the more practice you get, the more skilled you become.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
For as long as we are human beings, experiencing the fight or flight response from time to time is natural and normal.
As @Baukje suggested, it’s something that’s out of our control — and that makes sense since this is a survival mechanism. We don’t want to accidentally switch it off when it’s needed. And, it’s probably better for it to be activated by mistake rather than not get activated when needed!
What might matter most here is how we choose to respond to all those thoughts and feelings we’d rather not experience — because that’s something that’s always within our control.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You are the expert on you and there’s no universal tool that is going to be helpful for everyone 🙂
You’ve demonstrated resilience and commitment by observing a sleep window for two-and-a-half weeks and getting practice in with the AWAKE exercise (which isn’t intended to control your mind or make sleep happen but help you build skill in experiencing wakefulness and everything that comes with it with less struggle).
If you are using the sleep window in an attempt to make more sleep happen, it’s not going to do anything for you — because, as your experience tells you, sleep is out of your control.
The sleep window is nothing more than a tool that is intended to help you move away from chasing after sleep (the more we chase after sleep the more elusive it can become). What’s probably most important is going to bed when sleepy (or when conditions for sleep feel good) versus going to bed in an attempt to make sleep happen, and maintaining a reasonably consistent out of bed time in the morning.
When you go out for drinks with friends you nearly always sleep. Sometimes you do, sometimes you don’t. Alcohol can help us fall asleep and as the body process it, it can act as a stimulant, making sleep more difficult later at night. Sleep is possible regardless of what we’re thinking or feeling but it can become a lot more difficult if we try to control what we are thinking or feeling.
What is your current average nightly sleep duration? It sounds as though your sleep window starts at 11:30 PM. What time does it end? And, how did you choose those start and end times?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It’s totally natural and normal to wonder if or when you’ll fall asleep — and, since the brain is always churning out thoughts 24 hours a day, these thoughts don’t block sleep from happening.
What can make thoughts more difficult (and more of an obstacle to sleep) is trying to fight, avoid, or otherwise control them. That requires a lot of engagement, mental energy, and it “ups the stakes”. Many people find their thoughts only push back harder when they try to push them away.
You experienced an insight when you set the goal as rest and noticed sleep took care of itself. However, as soon as this became labeled as a way to make sleep happen (secretly, rest was no longer the goal — the goal became sleep) sleep started to become a struggle again. True surrender, as described by @Ingis is a genuine willingness to let sleep come whenever it comes and to do whatever it does. This usually takes ongoing practice!
You are learning a lot on your journey, @Gailness. And, for as long as you practice change and learn from what you are doing, you’ll always be moving closer to where you want to be!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You are taking the ideas shared in the course and making them your own. You are experimenting, playing around with what you are learning, and coming up with a way forward that works for you!
The statements you shared remind you of what matters to you, even when difficult stuff is present. They encourage you to take meaningful action. Thank you so much for sharing!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You are focused on maintaining control over what you choose to do each day, independently of sleep. Your experience tells you that sleep is out of your direct control. You can, however, always control your actions and they determine how good (or poor) conditions for sleep are going to be, and whether you move closer to (or further from) the life you want to live.
How are you currently struggling, Petar and what kind of thoughts are you looking for?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for clarifying!
So, it sounds as though you are averaging about five hours of sleep each night, while allotting seven hours for sleep each night.
When you wake before your sleep window ends, how do you respond?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks to your growth mindset and strength of self-reflection you recognize that the journey you have been on has contributed to your development, knowledge, and growth. And, that recognition has only been possible because of your willingness to commit to action!
You have clearly learned a lot and you have developed skills in self-kindness, acceptance, and acting in ways that are aligned with your values. You are setting boundaries and doing more of what matters. As your focus of attention shifts away from sleep you are noticing that it is improving and better able to take care of itself, too.
You are rightly feeling proud of how far you’ve come. You, and everyone on this journey, are the true inspiration. I offer knowledge and guidance but it’s down to each individual to put in the work and make change happen.
Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best with your ongoing practice as you continue to move forward!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Jasmine! Thanks for sharing that your mindset has start to shift and, as a result, you are less likely to battle away all night long and you also have more time to yourself to do things that matter.
You are currently allotting seven hours for sleep at night but I can’t really tell how much sleep you typically get from night to night (going to bed at 8:00 PM and staying awake until midnight or 1:00 AM and then getting out of bed at 2:00 AM implies an absolute maximum of two hours of sleep each and every night).
Coffee at 2:00 AM is unlikely to affect sleep at 8:00 PM (18 hours later), but you are the expert on you! You could always conduct an experiment for a week or two if you think it might be the cause of your sleep issues — that way you might have some more clarity.
Based on what you’ve learned up to this point, what do you feel is the best way for you to move forward?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You are staying committed to meaningful action. You are learning from what you are doing. And, for as long as at least one of those two things exists, you’re always going to be making progress!
You’ve proved to yourself that you can do things that matter, independently of sleep. You’ve learned that you can be remarkably capable and resilient, even after a night where you didn’t sleep as you wanted. You’re also reducing the power and influence sleep and insomnia has over your life.
Thanks for sharing your update and I wish you all the best as you continue to move forward!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
