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Hello @nette! I am so glad you returned to the forum to share your story since we stopped working together over a year ago — this proves that everything you learned and the changes you made are helpful and effective for the long-term!
I am sure many people will identify with your experience of having tried sleep hygiene and all the other sleep rituals that serve only to add a burden to our lives while not making any difference to our sleep!
As you pointed out, sleep drive always wins in the end — we never lose our ability to sleep! Furthermore, getting out of bed when being in bed doesn’t feel good is usually a more appealing alternative to staying in bed and it comes with the added bonus of helping to address conditioned arousal while also improving the quality of the night.
Giving yourself the opportunity to recognize that you can still function and get through the day even if you don’t sleep is huge and it often requires a real leap of faith to continue the day (or even add to it!) after difficult nights. As you pointed out, the fact you did this allowed you to lower sleep-related worry and that contributed to better sleep!
I love how you described that building an intense level of sleep drive in the short-term really helped make bedtime a time you looked forward to, rather than dreaded!
As you pointed out, since you learned techniques that help address the thoughts and behaviors that perpetuate sleep disruption, they are now with you for life — so, any time you experience some temporary sleep disruption, you know exactly what to do!
Thanks again for sharing your story, @nette! You got results because of your own efforts and your own natural ability to sleep. I just know that your story is going to help a lot of people!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Ralph and thanks for sharing your transformation with everyone and for starting a discussion that has attracted so many positive, motivating, and reassuring contributions from other members!
You described the lows of insomnia in a way that I am sure many people will identify with and that’s great because if others can identify with what you went through and see where you are now, it means they can get to where you are now, too!
You got results from the coaching because you implemented what you learned! You took steps to build sleep drive, strengthen your body clock, and lower arousal. As a result, you started to sleep better — and your results are entirely down to you, your efforts, and your natural ability to sleep!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you so much for taking the time to come to the forum and share your success story, AKG — and for returning to offer support and reassurance to others!
I am so glad that after four weeks of implementing sleep restriction and stimulus control you didn’t give in to the temptation to start taking medication! Instead, you battled on and — after 10 weeks(!) — you were enjoying significant improvements in your sleep.
I am particularly grateful for the fact you shared that you experienced ups and downs along the way because progress is rarely linear. Goodness me, imagine if you had thrown in the towel during those setback at Week 5 or Week 7 — you wouldn’t be in the great position you are in today!
All the improvements you are enjoying are down to your own commitment, tenacity, and natural ability to sleep! I hope you give yourself credit for just how far you have come — because your progress is a direct result of your own efforts!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing your story, KatBLilly!
I hope you find it reassuring when I tell you that nothing in what you’ve shared sounds unusual in any way — it sounds like a typical case of insomnia.
We actually have a model for describing how insomnia develops, called the 3P model.
The first “P” is predisposing factors — put simply, some of us are more predisposed to sleep disruption. For example, we may be more reactive to stress, tend to worry a lot, maybe have a stressful job, or be a light sleeper. This puts us more at risk for temporary sleep disruption.
The second “P” is precipitating factors. This is the event or issue that triggers actual sleep disruption. There are as many triggers for sleep disruption as there are people in the world! These could be things like health issues, an injury, receiving bad news, having a tight deadline at work, losing our job, getting a new job, arguing with our spouse, etc.
Usually, sleep recovers by itself after the precipitating issue has been “processed” or is no longer an issue. However, sometimes sleep issues remain — and this is usually down to the third “P”, which are the perpetuating factors.
These perpetuating factors are the things we do in response to the bad nights and things we might do to try to get our sleep back on track but have the opposite effect — they make it harder for our sleep to get back on track. Examples include spending a lot of time researching sleep, thinking about sleep, worrying about sleep, spending more time in bed, trying to conserve energy during the day, and modifying our lives in response to poor sleep.
These perpetuating factors make it hard to get sleep back on track because they lead to one (or all) of the following problems:
1. Sleep drive disruption (in other words, we might go to bed when we are not sufficiently sleepy for sleep, nap during the day, or stay in bed longer than usual)
2. Body clock disruption (usually caused by an inappropriate or irregular sleep schedule, and daytime inactivity)
3. High levels of arousal (this includes cognitive arousal, physiological arousal, and conditioned arousal)Cognitive arousal describes the worries that keep us awake or fill our daytime thoughts, hyperarousal/physiological arousal describes our body’s response to arousal (such as a racing heart), and conditioned arousal describes the sense of fear, worry, anxiety or even dread that many people with insomnia have learned to associate with their own beds.
The good news is, cognitive and behavioral techniques help address all these perpetuating factors so they are really effective at helping people who struggle with insomnia make long term improvements to their sleep.
This model is put into a bit of context in this YouTube video: Watch me use my mystical powers to reveal how your sleep issues began and why you now have insomnia.
I hope this helps!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum!
I wonder if it might be worth exploring the accuracy of the belief that you can only feel refreshed and energized if you get between 7.5 and 8.5 hours of sleep? Have you ever felt refreshed and energized after 7 hours and 20 minutes of sleep, for example?
Also, is it 100% true, 100% of the time that the more sleep you get, the happier you will be during the day? If, for example, you got five hours of sleep but then won the lottery that day, would you be happy? Or, because you got only five hours of sleep would you still be unhappy?
These thoughts and beliefs can be worth exploring because they can cause us to put effort into getting a certain amount of sleep — and as soon as we put effort into sleep, we make sleep more difficult!
Waking during the night is not unusual, and since you’ve had a sleep study that found nothing unusual going on, this might be one less thing for you to feel concerned about!
Very few people fall asleep at the exact same time every single night! For this reason, it can be helpful to think of your bedtime as an earliest possible bedtime — if you don’t feel sleepy at 11:00 PM, for example, you might want to delay going to bed until you do feel sleepy (while sticking to the same final out of bed time in the morning).
Like you, I find it very hard to sleep around people who snore! Since melatonin doesn’t generate sleep I doubt you’ll find it helpful for that. As for whether medication would be appropriate, that’s a conversation you should probably have with your doctor!
I hope this helps!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It’s not usually helpful to use alcohol as a sleep aid since that can lead to alcohol dependence, which comes with its own set of problems.
Furthermore, although alcohol can help us fall asleep it can disrupt sleep later in the night. That’s because, as the body breaks down alcohol, it has a stimulant effect — so, although a few nightcaps might help you fall asleep faster, they can lead to nighttime awakenings, more time spent awake later in the night, and reduced sleep quality.
There’s no need to abandon alcohol consumption if this is something you enjoy — but it’s usually not a good idea to consume alcohol in a bid to generate sleep. Limiting alcohol to one or two servings a couple of hours before bed will help limit any potential impact on sleep.
I hope this helps.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
There absolutely is hope for you! I know of many people who were convinced they couldn’t sleep without medication but now sleep well without any medication whatsoever!
You might find these podcast episodes motivating, inspiring, and reassuring:
How Sally improved her sleep after 60 years of insomnia and 10 years of sleeping pills (#19)
I hope this helps!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum, Bumblebee!
Everyone experiences some sleep disruption now and again, so that is not especially unusual. If you feel really moody, irritable, and exhausted the next day there’s some opportunity there to improve the quality of your days (independently of sleep) — and that can be helpful since it not only makes the day better, it can help us test the idea of whether the quality of our day is 100% predetermined by how we sleep.
So, after difficult nights it can be really beneficial to pursue enjoying and enriching activities that will improve our days (and give us something to think about other than sleep)!
It can also be helpful to reduce the amount of time you spend in bed at night when being in bed doesn’t feel good, and to reduce the amount of time available for extended wakefulness during the night.
What time do you usually go to bed at night, when do you get out of bed to start your day in the morning, and how many hours of sleep would you say you get on an average night?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Waking during the night is actually a normal part of sleep. Unless it’s accompanied by other physical symptoms it’s unlikely to be connected to a medical problem — but if you have any concern about this whatsoever, you should talk to your doctor!
Usually, the biggest problem associated with nighttime awakenings is when we worry about them since this immediately makes it more difficult to fall back to sleep!
I am so encouraged to know that you’ve started with sleep restriction and you’re already finding it helpful! Do keep us updated with your progress, sincny!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I think it’s quite possible for RLS to exist alongside insomnia — and since you can recognize at least one behavior that can perpetuate sleep disruption (such as sleeping on the couch) we can see there is an opportunity for you to take some steps to improve your sleep, regardless of the RLS!
Have you looked into cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I)? It might be worth asking your doctor if they think you’d be a good candidate for CBT-I since it can help address the thoughts and behaviors that can perpetuate sleep disruption.
I hope this helps!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Do you think there’s a possibility you put more pressure on yourself to sleep when you know you have work the next day? Perhaps you feel that if you don’t get a good night of sleep, the next day will be more difficult or you might make mistakes at work?
I don’t think these kinds of thoughts usually wake us up, but they sure can make it more difficult to fall back to sleep! I hope this gives you something that might be worth exploring!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That is a common insomnia trigger — how are you getting on with your sleep now, @Sunny? What’s a typical night like?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the forum @niccynicole! I am so encouraged that you tried staying up a bit later — this does usually require a little longer than a few nights to bring about any meaningful improvement in sleep, but if combined with a consistent out of bed time it can help build sleep drive, make it easier to fall asleep, and overpower that anxiety at the start of the night.
You mentioned that you are a very scheduled person who likes to go to bed at the same time every night to ensure you get a good seven to eight hours of sleep. However, it seems that this current schedule isn’t working for you — you don’t seem to be getting seven to eight hours of sleep at night — so might a different schedule be worth a try?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing, Eric! As you pointed out, the way we think about sleep can generate so much worry and anxiety and this can really disrupt sleep!
So, the less we can worry about sleep, the more accepting we can be of the sleep we get, and the less effort we put into sleep, the better we usually sleep!
I’m glad to hear how well you’re doing — all your improvements are down to your own efforts to change the way you think about sleep and to implement helpful sleep-related behaviors that give sleep the best chance possible!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You sure have tried a lot of things, @shaw600! You mentioned talking therapy — can you tell us more about that? Have you tried cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I), the best treatment for chronic insomnia?
As you pointed out, worrying about sleep usually makes sleep more difficult and this can then lead to more worry! One way to help you break out of that Catch-22 situation is to work on improving the quality of your days, independently of sleep — the better you can make your days, the less pressure you might put on yourself to sleep and the less effort you might be tempted to put into sleep.
You mentioned that you typically go to bed between 10:00 PM and 11:00 PM — when do you usually get out of bed to start your day in the morning? When you wake during the night and find it hard to fall back to sleep, what do you do next?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
