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Hello @Saralili and thanks for the great question!
The content of the course is the same, regardless of whether you choose the self-coaching or the 1-on-1 email coaching access option.
The difference is that with the 1-on-1 option, you get eight weeks of unlimited email access to me so you can reach out any time you have a question or a concern, any time you think you might benefit from some additional coaching or support, any time you want to explore a specific challenge or issue.
In other words, with the 1-on-1 option you get to work through the course with me by your side.
Does this answer your question?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I appreciate your ongoing openness and willingness to continue exploring this! Your honest communication is a reflection of your growth mindset
If your goal with the AWAKE exercise is to calm your mind down a bit, or to make relaxation or sleep happen, that might be where you are getting a bit tangled up — as you know from experience, you cannot directly or permanently control your mind (or your sleep). The more you try, the more you can set yourself up for a struggle.
The goal of the AWAKE exercise is to practice building skill in experiencing wakefulness and all the thoughts and feelings that can come with being awake with less struggle. Being more of a curious observer rather than an opponent. If you use the exercise in an effort to change your thoughts or feelings or to make sleep happen, you probably aren’t going to get much from it.
It sure is hard to do things that are aligned with your values and goals after difficult nights and when difficult thoughts and feelings show up during the day — no doubt about it! And yet, you did it! What strengths did you draw upon to make that happen and what did you learn from continuing to do things that matter to you?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
There’s so much great stuff here!
The big insight that seems to have emerged from this discussion is control. When we stop trying to control what cannot be controlled — when we acknowledge and observe instead of battle — things might start to get a bit easier
And yes, every night IS a fresh start!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing, @edlung — and good on you for continuing to practice the tools shared in the course. You mentioned you are getting better and better and accepting wakefulness at night — can you share a bit more about that? When you are accepting wakefulness, what are you doing and how is that different to what you were doing before? How is acceptance benefitting you?
As you know from experience, sleep cannot be controlled. What makes sleep more difficult is trying. Putting effort into it. Putting pressure on ourselves to make it happen. Having goals related to sleep (such as falling asleep within x amount of time, getting x amount of sleep, not waking during the night, etc).
For as long as our focus remains on trying to achieve a certain amount or type of sleep, things might continue to be difficult — even as we practice acceptance of wakefulness. And, that’s because, deep down, we are still trying to control sleep.
Finally, I will add that many people find their relationship with sleep changes before their actual sleep changes. They become more comfortable with being awake before they notice sleep itself changing.
I hope there might be something useful here and I appreciate your openness and curiosity!
PS: Thanks, Dan, for sharing your thoughts on sleepiness vs fatigue! That’s a great point since it’s so easy to go to bed when we are fatigued rather than sleepy and that can set us up for frustration and struggle
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Struggle doesn’t magically disappear — we’re going to get drawn into the struggle from time to time. It’s a well-trodden path and can often feel almost automatic — difficult thoughts/feelings show up, we are awake when we don’t want to be, and we respond by battling. It feels like battling is action. I guess it is, in a way — but it’s not really workable action because it’s a battle we’re always going to lose.
So, what matters is ongoing practice. Accepting that we’re going to get drawn back into the struggle (sometimes over and over again) and, when that happens, being kind to ourselves and kindly bringing ourselves back to being an observer rather than an opponent.
As we become more accepting of our thoughts and feelings, we might notice more thoughts and feelings show up because we aren’t trying to dam the river of thoughts any more — we’re letting that river flow without resistance!
Ultimately, thoughts and feelings themselves aren’t really the problem — it’s how we respond to them that can make them a problem!
I hope this helps, and appreciate the supportive words and experience shared by @SCTwo and @Packer-Fan!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Since sleep is completely out of your control and since we cannot predict the future, there’s no answer to your question.
What matters is how you respond to being awake, how you respond to the difficult thoughts and feelings that show up, and what you do each day. All those things are in your control and all of those things determine whether you move toward the life you want to live or away from the life you want to live.
If wakefulness isn’t a struggle, if thoughts and feelings don’t pull you away from where you are or what you want to do, if you do things that are aligned with your values and move you toward the life you want to live each day, perhaps it doesn’t matter all that much how “good” or “bad” your sleep is from night to night?
And, if your goal is to fall back to sleep when you wake, perhaps that might be something that’s setting you up for a bit of a struggle and creating a bit of an obstacle?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I think we are probably hard-wired to instinctively resist difficult thoughts and feelings. So, responding in a different way is hard and requires ongoing practice. And, since it’s hard, when it feels hard it might be helpful to be kind to yourself rather than hard on yourself
Good on you for continuing to practice and continuing to put the work in! You are demonstrating strengths of commitment, determination, and resilience.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing! Being a “health nut” is a strength and a reflection of your values of health, personal growth, and self-advocacy.
As you pointed out, so many things in life respond well to effort. We can eat in a certain way or exercise in a certain way to change the appearance and capabilities of our body. However, we cannot control our sleep in the same way! We can give it the opportunity to happen, but that’s about it! Simply being aware of the fact that sleep cannot be controlled is a big insight that can be so helpful
Thanks for sharing that you like the lack of “rules” — it’s perfectly fine to read in bed, to watch TV, to do whatever you want. Sleep doesn’t care about any of that stuff! What matters is doing things that matter to you. Things you care about, independently of sleep.
The fact you are exploring the possibility that letting go of trying to control sleep might reveal hidden talents is evidence of your growth mindset and your awareness and understanding that you are always growing, developing, and changing — even in the presence of challenge, difficultly, and adversity.
When our focus shifts away from sleep, it’s amazing how much mental energy, capacity, and capability we can free up!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Good on you for attending all the events and meetings on your trip, independently of sleep. I am sure that was not easy! Your strengths of determination, tenacity, persistence, and commitment all shined through and supported you with that committed action.
Travel can make sleep more difficult, as can perhaps billions of other things that come with living a rich and meaningful life. And, concern about sleep is easily identified as the source of struggle (and sometimes perhaps it is).
Often, the true source of struggle is our intervention or involvement in the process of sleep — the pressure we might put on ourselves to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen, the effort we might put into sleep, the attempts to fight or avoid certain thoughts and feelings that might show up with (or after) nighttime wakefulness.
It’s great to hear the you used some of the tools from the course — practice is what matters. Taking action.
You said they came with limited success. Just so we are clear, when you practiced the AWAKE exercise, what was your goal or intent? If it was more successful, what would have been different?
When you practiced acting in alignment with your values, what was your goal or intent? If it was more successful, what would have been different?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Ups and downs are natural and normal and are part of progress (and being a human being). What matters is how you respond to difficult nights. What do you think is the most workable way to respond, based on your experience and based on what you’ve explored (and practiced) in the course so far?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello edlung — and thank you for chiming in Packer Fan
It can be very frustrating how the mind and body seems to want to work against us so much of the time! And yet, the mind and body is never intentionally working against us. It’s working for us. Looking out for us. Trying its best to keep us alive, safe, and doing what matters.
It sounds as though your mind is firing up all systems in an effort to protect you from what the night might bring. That makes sense since it’s something that has created a struggle for so long — so your mind sees it as a threat and is doing its job of looking out for you and preparing you for battle.
Just as your brain learned that night is a threat and it needs to activate action stations to protect you as night approaches, it can also learn that night is not a threat and that it doesn’t need to activate action stations to keep you safe.
How might you practice that retraining, do you think?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
At times like this it can be helpful to reflect on (and remind ourselves of) what we can control.
If our experience tells us that we cannot control our thoughts and feelings — if it’s impossible to permanently delete them through effort, then perhaps we need to focus our efforts on what we can control. Actions. How we respond to our thoughts and feelings.
And, when it comes to measuring progress, perhaps it’s helpful to do that based on what we can control, too.
So, instead of measuring progress based on what we are thinking and feeling, perhaps we measure progress based on the action-based practice we are getting in. The times we are doing what matters, even in the presence of difficult thoughts and feelings. The times we are practicing and building skill in acknowledging thoughts and feelings and observing them instead of battling and struggle with them. The times we are being kind to ourselves, rather than hard on ourselves.
In other words, for as long as we practice, we make progress. Practice is progress.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Rozey — thank you for sharing and it is so good to see all the support being offered by others here
First of all: Good on you for continuing to live by your values — that’s a reflection of your strengths of tenacity, determination, and resilience.
Difficult nights and ups and downs are natural and normal. They come with being a human being and they should be expected. Of course, that doesn’t mean they aren’t going to feel discouraging when they happen and your problem-solving brain is going to respond by generating all kinds of thoughts and feelings and stories (it’s usually a big fan of “what if” stories). Thanks, brain!
Since your brain is only doing its job there’s not a lot you can do about that. However, you always get to choose how you respond. And, by continuing to live by your values you are responding in a workable way.
Make sure you are also being kind to yourself when things feel difficult. Acknowledge what you are thinking and feeling, and continue to act in ways that keep you moving toward the life you want to live.
For as long as you continue to do that, all this stuff will lose its power and influence over your life. And, as it loses its power and influence it will consume less of your energy and attention and it’ll often become less noticeable and might even show up less often.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Good on you for continuing to practice the AWAKE exercise when uncomfortable body sensations show up. What is your goal or intent when you get that practice in?
As you have experienced, difficult thoughts and feelings are going to show up. You don’t need to be “OK” with that — you simply have a choice of what to do when they show up.
You can battle with them as you try to get rid of them (and that just makes them stronger and more difficult, as you shared) or you can acknowledge them, allow them to come and go as they choose (even though you might rather they weren’t present at all), be more of an observer of them, be kind to yourself, and practice experiencing them with less struggle.
Which approach feels most workable to you? Is there an alternative to these two options (and if so, what is it)?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing that awareness — it’s interesting how our mindset and intention can change as soon as bedtime approaches and how that change can set us up for a struggle. Thanks to the awareness you shared, you now have a greater opportunity to respond differently.
I think you shared a big insight that all your attempts to fight or avoid thoughts and feelings don’t permanently eliminate those thoughts and feelings. So, an approach of “fight or avoid” might be a bit of a waste of your energy and attention — and might also pull you away from meaningful actions that reflect who you are and the life you want to live.
Thanks to your own willingness to explore this with a curious mind and to experiment with making some changes, you have noticed that acceptance can lead to less struggle since you are no longer responding by going to war with your mind or with being awake. As a bonus side-effect, this often creates better conditions for sleep to happen, too
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
