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There might be a difference between deliberately checking the time throughout the night and just happening to see the time as you listen to a podcast.
Since you are the expert on you, @anushivadas, what does your experience have to offer? Is seeing the time when you listen to podcasts creating a struggle and making things more difficult? If so, what is the opportunity here? If not, what makes it a problem?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
What you are going through is difficult. You said you can’t seem to stop obsessing over your sleep. What do you mean by that? If I saw you obsessing over sleep, what would I see you doing? What, if any, changes do you want to make in connection to that?
Your experience seems to be telling you that sleep is beyond your direct control. Your experience also seems to be telling you that the presence of difficult thoughts and feelings (like anxiety) is beyond your direct control.
With that in mind, what’s the most likely outcome for as long as you try to control what is out of your control and what might an alternative way of dealing with all this difficult stuff look like?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You’ve clearly learned a lot and overcome a lot on your journey, @struninja! Thanks for sharing your observation that how you sleep doesn’t always predetermine how you feel (or what you can do) during the day.
What advice does your own experience offer you as you reflect on the most workable way to deal with long-lasting difficult bodily sensations? What has proven to be most helpful in the past?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
We always have access to the wise mind — and accessing the wise mind doesn’t mean the problem-solving mind will go silent. It’ll always be there, doing its job of looking out for you!
Practicing self-compassion is evidence of your strengths of self-care and self-awareness. And, again, practicing self-compassion doesn’t necessarily silence the problem-solving mind. It’s something you’ll probably need to do in the presence of whatever thoughts and feelings you notice showing up.
Many people find that the more they try to control or reduce hyper vigilance, the more “hyper” that hyper vigilance becomes. Perhaps your own experience has some guidance to offer there. As always, you are the expert on yourself!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
@eric-amodeo — It’s totally natural and normal to get pulled back into the struggle over and over again because that’s how most of us are hard-wired. Your awareness that this is happening is a huge strength because it gives you the opportunity to choose to respond differently.
Thoughts and feelings can definitely feel like they are spiraling out of control whenever we try to control them because, as your experience tells you, thoughts and feelings are not within your control.
@vandeinseg1: Practicing and building skill in acceptance is one way to move away from the struggle that comes from trying to control what is out of your control!If that practice comes with the intention of calming you down or changing what you are thinking and feeling, it might create some struggle, though. Because, with that intent, you are still (understandably!) trying to control what you know cannot be controlled! You are switching the “struggle switch” to the on position!
The book about dealing with panic attacks in a way that’s aligned with the approach shared in this course is Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks Fast.
I hope there’s something useful here 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
As the expert on yourself, what do you feel is the best way forward?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to your new journey, Christy! You have experience of getting through adversity before and so you know you can do it again. It sounds as though your approach to sleep up to this point hasn’t been working for you, leaving you feeling trapped in the cycle you described. I hope this course will offer you new options for moving forward so you can break out of that cycle!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Yes, it’s very hard to remember all the steps at first. Like any new skill, it’s going to be hard before it gets easy (or easier)!
You are the expert on you, so only you know what the best way to continue to practice looks like. You can play the guided exercise on your phone (and you might see the time or you might not see the time) or you can print out the PDF “cheat sheet” and have that next to your bed.
Those are a couple of ways forward off the top of my head. What do you feel might be the best way to continue to learn and practice the exercise?
Some people do practice the AWAKE exercise during the day, too — and that might also come with the added benefit of helping you get more familiar with the process for when you might want to use it at night.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for the great question, Kan!
It simply means experience wakefulness with less struggle — whatever that means and however that looks for you.
So, you can stay in bed or you can get out of bed. You can read. You can watch TV. You can trampoline. You can try your hand at go kart racing. It doesn’t matter what you do as long as your intention or goal is to build skill in experiencing wakefulness with less struggle. To experience wakefulness without trying to fight or avoid it.
Does this help?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It’s amazing how different things can be when we practice moving away from battling with stuff that’s out of our control and when we act and talk to ourselves with more kindness when things are difficult. Reflecting on every positive, every win, and every strength that exists within you can be so powerful, too. Thanks for sharing!
PS: We are all a work in progress — every last one of us!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Even at this very early stage, your mindset is starting to change. You are holding sleep (and the difficult thoughts and feelings that can show up when you don’t get the sleep you want to get) less tightly.
You are refocusing on actions that matter to you and that keep you moving toward the life you want to live. You are noticing more of the good stuff that’s still present, even after difficult nights.
You are learning and you are taking action. You are on your way to insomnia independence!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
An inconsistent schedule can make it hard to implement or practice any kind of consistent sleep window. You clearly have the superpower of problem-solving as you are trying to create a more consistent work schedule!
All human beings generate sleep pressure — it builds with every minute of wakefulness. And, sleep pressure can be suspended to keep us alive when a threat or a danger is present (thanks, brain)! When we have a lot of experience battling with insomnia, the brain can believe that being awake is a threat.
I am yet to meet anyone who has complete control over their minds so we probably can’t switch the brain off and make sleep happen upon command. Luckily we can always control our actions.
So, perhaps the way forward here is to focus on how we choose to respond to being awake when we’d rather be asleep. Do we continue to battle away (and reinforce the idea that being awake is a threat and a danger) or do we explore how we might experience being awake with less struggle (and also train the brain that being awake isn’t a threat or a danger)?
Travel can make keeping a sleep window more difficult and it’s up to you whether or not you choose to maintain a sleep window while away. Perhaps what matters most is the fact you will be traveling, doing things that matter, and living life? I suspect that might have more of an impact on your life and be more memorable in 100 years compared to how you slept!
To answer your final question: sleepiness is difficulty staying awake. Fatigue is feeling exhausted, worn-out, or “running on empty”.
I hope there’s something useful here!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
The puzzle pieces you’ve been missing are already within you — hopefully the course helps you tease them out 🙂
It sounds as though, even this early on in the course, you are pulling out some important insights — and that’s thanks to your strengths of self-reflection, curiosity, and commitment to action!
You have already learned that there’s no need to get out of bed just because you are awake. You’ve learned that you can stay in bed. You’ve learned that you prefer to stay in bed. You’ve learned that you can start dismantling rules and rituals that don’t serve you.
You’ve learned you have options. And, you’re just getting started!
Thank you for sharing!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Only you know if it’s OK to fall asleep on the couch or not, since you are the expert on you! Sleep doesn’t need (or want) rules — rules are control behaviors and sleep cannot be controlled!
If you have anxious thoughts that means you are a human being because all human beings experience anxiety. And, all human beings sleep.
So, perhaps this means that sleep is possible even when anxious thoughts exist?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Shila! As you learned from Lu, you are not alone! There are ups and downs on all journeys — especially ones that matter!
If you are assessing progress based on the presence or intensity of anxiety, you might find yourself continuing to struggle — because when we try to fight or avoid anxiety we can get anxious about the possibility of anxiety showing up! To avoid something, we need to look for it. And, anxiety is a feeling that cannot be switched off through effort (trying only makes it more difficult and more powerful, right?).
A more useful way to measure progress might be reflecting on what you are learning as you change your approach to all this difficult stuff. Another way to measure progress might be reflecting on how you respond to wakefulness and how you respond to the presence of natural and normal difficult thoughts and feelings.
Are you trying to fight or avoid them (and where does that usually get you) or are you practicing and building skill in acknowledging them and allowing them to be present (so they might start to lose their power and influence over you)?
There’s a whole load of learning experience in your post — experience you can draw on and use to keep moving forward. Might I suggest reading through your post again with a kind and curious mind? What positives do you see there? What important information do you see there?
Imagine someone you loved dearly posted that message. What strengths do you see from that person who posted? What might you say to them to support them and keep them moving closer to where they want to be?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
