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Hello Dave! The only thing that really reduces sleep drive is sleep (rest might also reduce it but to a far lesser extent).
How is your experience with that wakefulness between 4:30 AM and 6:00 AM? Is it comfortable and restful, or does it involve difficulty and struggle?
If it’s comfortable and restful, there’s probably no need to change anything. If it involves difficulty and struggle, a change might be helpful!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It sounds as though your focus is starting to shift away from trying to control sleep and what you are thinking and feeling — and, instead, you are acknowledging what you are thinking and feeling and you are acknowledging that sleep cannot be made to happen through effort.
That shift can be quite liberating, even when difficult nights and difficult thoughts and feelings show up. Not battling with all these things reduces the energy and attention they consume. It reduces their power and influence. This, in turn, helps free you up to do more of the stuff that matters to you.
Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best as you continue to move forward through committed, meaningful, and workable action!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
What a mindset shift, Christina! Focusing our attention on getting a certain amount or type of sleep as our measure for success is understandable — and it can set us up for a struggle since sleep is out of our control!
What can be more helpful is digging a little deeper and exploring the obstacle sleep/insomnia seems to pose in our lives. What is it stopping us from doing? What actions are we doing because of sleep/insomnia that don’t reflect who we are or who we want to be? How is sleep/insomnia pulling us away from the life we want to live?
When we have the answers to those questions, we might be able to refocus our attention on actions that remove that obstacle. Actions that help us live a rich and meaningful life independently of sleep. And, when sleep/insomnia is no longer an obstacle, when we are living the life we want to live, sleep tends to take care of itself!
The progress you’ve made and the insights you’ve gathered are entirely down to your own commitment to action and your own resilience. It’s so easy to give up. It’s far harder to commit to change. Change is hard. Change is scary. And, without change, nothing changes!
As you shared, nobody here is broken and sleep exists within all of us. It wants to happen and the best way to allow it to happen is to remove ourselves from the process of trying to make it happen!
Thanks again for sharing and I wish you all the best as you continue to move forward!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Kelly and congratulations on your pregnancy! Life changes like this often impact sleep in the short-term. What matters is how we respond.
It’s great that you are reviewing your notes — many people also find it helpful to work through the course content more than once. There’s a lot to take in and it can take more than one “go through” for it to get fully absorbed!
The reappearance of difficult thoughts, difficult feelings, and difficult nights is hard to deal with and it’s so easy to get pulled back into a struggle with all that stuff. Often, we feel trapped when what we are doing to escape doesn’t seem to be working — and, with insomnia, what typically doesn’t work is a strategy of trying to fight or avoid difficult thoughts and feelings and trying to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen.
Feeling trapped is an opportunity to change approach. To do something different. And, that’s what is outlined in the course materials. It takes ongoing practice and it comes with plenty of ups and downs. However, for as long as you continue to practice and for as long as you are mindful of your intent with your practice (remember you aren’t trying to delete certain thoughts and feelings or make sleep happen as you know from experience those things are out of your control) you will always be making progress.
Things feel difficult right now because they are difficult right now. That doesn’t mean this difficulty will be around forever. Change is constant. You always have control over your actions. Please be kind to yourself and remember that you can continue to do things that matter (no matter how small) and continue to move toward the life you want to live, even when this difficult stuff is present.
Be sure to draw on your strengths and your superpowers. You’ve overcome adversity and difficulty before. You can do it again.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Ups and downs are natural and normal. We all have difficult nights just as we all have difficult days. What tends to make things more difficult is trying to control what our experience tells us cannot be controlled.
A couple of flags that imply actions that might be setting you up for struggle in your post include “couldn’t get back the calm” (trying to make a certain feeling happen can create struggle and difficulty) and “battling” (if you find yourself battling, that suggests you might be trying to control your mind or your sleep).
The brain never battles sleep but it does generate thoughts and feelings. Non-stop. And, since it is always generating thoughts and feelings, sleep can still happen in the presence of any thought and any feeling.
What tends to make sleep more difficult is trying to control the mind; trying to fight or avoid certain thoughts and feelings. And, as you know from experience, as soon as we try to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen (as soon as we “try” to sleep), it becomes a whole lot more difficult.
With all this in mind, what do you think is the best way to respond to nighttime wakefulness and the difficult thoughts and feelings that can come with that? What responses might help you build skill in experiencing what you might not want to experience with less battling and less struggling? What actions will keep you moving toward the life you want to live, independently of sleep and even in the presence of difficult thoughts and feelings?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That’s a great question, Zoki! My advice would be to start by talking to your doctor. In my experience, whether someone goes cold turkey or tapers off doesn’t seem to make a whole lot of difference. What seems to matter most is coming up with a plan and sticking to it, regardless of how each night goes.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Anariel and welcome to the forum!
Let me start by saying that there’s nothing unique or unusual in your experience. And, the fact you’ve been dealing with this for a month rather than 3 month or your whole life doesn’t make it any less difficult.
Your experience with insomnia has followed a typical pattern — sleep didn’t happen as expected, so you responded by (understandably!) trying to fix it.
You took herbal sleeping pills, you tried prescription medication, you tried acupuncture, you tried staying home.
Some of those things offered varying degrees of relief, but none got to the root of the problem — you were still (understandably) putting pressure on yourself to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen. And, trying to control sleep only makes it more difficult.
Many people find CBT-I helpful — but not everyone. One reason for that might be because CBT-I techniques themselves can easily become sleep efforts. We are still trying to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen. (We might also try to control what we are thinking and feeling.)
All these attempts draw us into more struggle. So we try harder. We struggle more. We try harder. And, round and round we go, seemingly trapped in a vicious cycle.
Not only that, the more we try, the more we can find ourselves getting pulled away from the life we want to live. We might do less. We might withdraw from life. We might act in ways that don’t reflect who we are or who we want to be. That makes our situation even more difficult.
There is no way to “not think” about something. Not thinking about something requires you to think of that very thing to see if you are thinking about it or not! For as long as that’s your strategy, you might be setting yourself up for an ongoing and exhausting struggle.
Perhaps the solution then, is to move away from trying to control what your experience tells you is beyond your control? How much energy might you free up if you were able to refocus your attention (and effort) on actions that move you toward the life you want to live, independently of sleep?
You might like my podcast episode with Irina — as I share in the intro to that episode, she gave sleep the opportunity to take care of itself while she took care of doing things that helped her live the life she wanted to live. And, that’s exactly what happened.
I hope there’s something useful here and I wish you all the best. You are not alone.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It sounds as though you’ve experienced a big improvement over the past six months, @nozzzz — so you know from experience that change is possible (and that change can happen even as you move away from medication)!
The brain fog you described is not unusual and experiencing difficult thoughts and feelings like anxiety is not unusual, either.
Of course, you’d rather not experience the brain fog and difficult, uncomfortable, and/or strange thoughts and feelings that show up. If there was a way to control those things, no doubt you’d be doing them and they wouldn’t feel like such a barrier to ongoing progress.
As your experience probably tells you, just as you cannot directly or permanently control sleep, you cannot directly or permanently control the presence of difficult or uncomfortable thoughts or feelings, either. They show up when they want, no matter what you do, right?
So, you have a choice when it comes to responding to them. You can (understandably!) try to do battle with them — try to fight or avoid them. Focus all your energy and attention on defeating them. And, where does that get you, according to your own experience?
Or, you can practice acknowledging their presence when they show up (even though you’d rather they weren’t present, there they are). You can practice being kind to yourself when they show up. You can practice refocusing your attention on where you are, what you are doing, what you want to be doing — even in their presence. And, where might that get you?
This isn’t about “sucking it up”. It’s about being aware of all the stuff we might add on to the difficult stuff that shows up, that can make it even more difficult.
If how you’re dealing with all this right now doesn’t seem to be getting you closer to where you want to be, might you be open to a different way of dealing with it? And based on what I’ve shared here, what might that different way look like?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That sounds difficult, Colin. I can’t say for sure whether what you’ve described is physiological or psychological. Waking during the night is a normal part of sleep, but if the awakenings are caused by something like sleep apnea then treatment can help. CPAP can be hard to tolerate and ongoing experimentation with pressure settings (and different devices) can help.
When you wake around 4:30 AM, have you tried staying in bed instead of getting out of bed? Resting still offers restorative value, if sleep doesn’t show up. And, trying to make sleep happen or trying to control our thoughts and feelings (for example, trying to make “calm” happen or trying to push away worry, fear, or anything else) can draw us into a battle that makes sleep more difficult and is likely to consume more energy.
I hope there’s something useful here.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You might want to check out my podcast with Juergen — he mentioned that tinnitus retraining was helpful.
As for headaches, unfortunately that’s not my area of expertise so I can’t offer any advice there. What I would do is encourage you to be kind to yourself when they show up. Headaches aren’t your fault and they feel hard because they are hard.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing! It has been wonderful to witness your transformation! To see your successes and your response to challenges and difficulty, your ongoing commitment to workable action, and to read your insights and learnings.
You are responsible for the progress you’ve made and I wish you all the best for the future!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It could very well be an increased level of awareness since, after all, waking during the night is a normal part of sleep. If you are concerned about these awakenings, I would suggest speaking with your doctor to ensure there’s no medical explanation for those awakenings (for example, sleep apnea).
I hope this helps and I wish you all the best!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Waking is a normal part of sleep and the human brain is a thought generating machine — so it’s not unusual to notice it generating weird or illogical thoughts.
If you are concerned about your sleep or the thoughts you are noticing, I would encourage you to speak with your doctor.
I hope this helps and I wish you all the best!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Ups and downs are all part of the process, @JackHawkins! Just as we all have difficult days from time to time, we all have difficult nights from time to time — and, it’s impossible to live a rich and meaningful life without pain and difficulty.
What matters is how you respond during these times of difficulty. When things don’t go to plan. When things aren’t going as well as you want them to.
Do you choose to respond in ways that get you tangled up in a struggle and pull you away from the life you want to live? Or, do you respond in a way that helps you build skill in experiencing all this difficult stuff while continuing to move toward the life you want to live?
Luckily, the choice is always yours!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing what you’re taking from the course, even at this very early stage, @jolanta!
It sounds as though you are also lifting some of those rules/restrictions and starting to do more of the stuff that matters to you (I’m a big fan of tea, too — perhaps that’s no surprise to many, though)!
Here’s to your ongoing journey!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
