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Thanks for your reply! It sounds as though your experience tells you that the more you try to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen, the more difficult it becomes.
That is common, and that is the reason why this course makes no attempt to offer “techniques” that promise to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen.
Instead, it offers action-based skills that can be practiced to shift focus and attention away from trying to control sleep so it has the opportunity to take care of itself.
Are you able to recall a time when sleep was effortless? If so, what did you do back then to make that kind of sleep happen?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Life is full of ups and downs. The “good” times never last indefinitely. The “bad” times never last indefinitely. And, most of the time there’s “good” and “bad” stuff all happening at once 😜
Feeling sad, confused, and heartbroken means that you are a human being. Your superpower is your awareness of what you are feeling and your acknowledgement of those feelings. I hope you are also able to practice being kind to yourself, too.
This difficult experience has taught you (or reminded you) that sleep doesn’t really care what thoughts and feelings your brain is generating as it does its job of looking out for you — it can happen regardless.
It’s perfectly OK to modify your sleep window. What matters most is choosing a window that fits into the life you want to live and what you know about yourself. Some people are natural early risers and want to get their day started earlier. Other people, less so.
You are the expert on you!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Those initial nights with a new sleep window can often be the most challenging — and that perhaps makes sense when you consider that your brain is going to be at a higher level of alertness as it adjusts to your new routine.
What might be useful to reflect on is this — what makes your chosen action of committing to an initial sleep window important to you?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Gary and thanks for sharing how your first week went!
You chose a sleep window of 11:00 PM to 6:00 AM. That means you were allotting seven hours for sleep.
Most nights, you fell asleep pretty quickly and slept until the end of your sleep window. On three nights, less sleep happened and it sounds like, on those nights, it took longer to fall asleep.
Since sleep is out of your direct control, there’s no way for you to go backwards based on what your sleep is or isn’t doing. The only way you can go backwards is if you engage in actions that you know only create more struggle and more difficulty. And, even then, you’ll still be learning — so perhaps it’s not even possible to go backwards 😜
What matters most are your actions. How you choose to respond when sleep isn’t happening as you want it to. How you choose to respond when difficult or uncomfortable or distracting thoughts and feelings show up.
And, as you’ve since discovered, this is explored in a lot more detail in Week 2 of the course!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the course, @festik!
You know from experience that doing things that matter and living a life that reflects your values is a helpful way to respond to sleep not happening as you might want it to. With that approach, you don’t give sleep more power and influence over your life.
At present, you are noticing your mind generating lots of difficult, uncomfortable, and distracting thoughts and feelings. And, because you identify them as an obstacle to sleep, you are trying to fight (resist) or avoid them.
Your experience seems to tell you that you cannot directly or permanently control what your mind is doing as it does its job of looking out for you. The more you try, the more you struggle and the more difficult all that stuff gets.
The jerks you describe can be one of those uncomfortable feelings or sensations that you’d rather not experience and you cannot directly control. And if they are out of your control, there’s only one possible outcome every time you try to fight or avoid them…
You shared that you’ve tried to accept them — and it sounds like you feel that doesn’t work because they don’t go away. If you are accepting something with the goal of getting rid of that thing, is that true acceptance?
As you reflect on what you’ve shared, what — if anything — is the opportunity presenting itself to you?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Lokidc 🙂
First, I would suggest (if you haven’t done so already) speaking with your doctor if you are regularly finding it hard to stay awake during the day since that can be a symptom of other issues (such as sleep apnea).
If your issue is related more to falling asleep closer to bedtime when you are relaxing and unwinding, and then finding it hard to fall asleep at bedtime — that is not unusual!
It sounds like when there is no intention or effort or pressure to make sleep happen, it seems to be more likely to show up.
How does that compare to when you go to bed — and what’s the insight here?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You can control the action of staying up late if that’s important to you. And your experience tells you that you cannot control or program yourself to sleep to a certain time of the day. So, there seems to be a conflict here between what you want and what you can control.
What do you mean when you say that you feel so much “peace” sleeping in? What is peace? What makes the presence of peace so important to you? What other sources — if any — of peace are there (or could there be) in your life?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing! You are taking action and you are learning from what you are doing.
You have learned that you can sleep without medication even though you thought that was not going to be possible.
Taking meaningful and important action (in this case, tapering off the medication) is moving you closer to where you want to be. That compares to taking action solely in response to whatever thoughts your problem-solving mind might generate as it does its job of looking out for you (such as “you’ll never sleep without medication”!).
You are moving in the direction you want to be heading. That’s progress, no doubt about it!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Colibri and welcome to the forum. Things are really difficult for you. And you have a number of superpowers including problem-solving, commitment, resilience, curiosity, and determination.
Your experience seems to be telling you that the more you try to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen, the more difficult it becomes.
Your experience also seems to be telling you that the more you try to fight, avoid, or control whatever thoughts and feelings show up (or might show up) the more difficult they become.
Of course, you want to get a certain amount or type of sleep. That’s totally understandable! So you try harder. That makes complete sense.
Of course, you don’t want to experience anxiety and panic attacks. Who does?! So you try harder to fight or avoid them. That makes complete sense, too.
And those strategies don’t seem to be moving you closer to where you want to be. The endless and exhausting struggle is pulling you away from the life you want to live. Your actions are also less likely to reflect who you are and who you want to be.
Your experience tells you that you can sleep. Your experience tells you that in the past, sleep happened without effort. Without trying.
What changes — if any — do you need to make to move closer to where you want to be?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Although it’s quite old now, this video and all the comments that go with it might be useful:
Why you jerk yourself awake every time you try to fall asleep (and what to do about it)
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I’m curious — what makes sleeping late so important to you? What would you be doing differently with your life if that happened?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing, Michael! You are noticing positive change because of your commitment to action. You put in the work. Change is not easy!
What do you mean when you say “not thinking bad thoughts”? How do you successfully not think something?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You have a strong commitment to action!
Since this forum isn’t set up for private messaging and my approach tends to be more about doing less to try to make sleep happen, I am not sure how easy it will be for you to find an accountability partner for the plan you have in mind.
With that being said, I am keen to hear what you learn on your journey!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Neither of you are alone! The body never forgets how to sleep. What we can forget is that sleep is not something we do — it’s something that happens to us.
The more we try, the more we can struggle. The key to moving away from the struggle might be figuring out how to move away from all the trying. All the effort. All the battling.
If you reflect on a time when sleep wasn’t an issue or a concern — what did you do to make that effortless sleep happen? How was your approach back then different compared to now?
Your own experience likely holds all the answers you seek.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to you both!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
