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That sounds difficult, Hyhan.
It sounds as though you are getting out of bed when you wake up at night — is that right? If so, why are you getting out of bed? Is that something you find helpful?
Reading at night sounds like a more appealing option compared to tossing and turning, trying to make sleep happen. Reading cannot make sleep happen but it sounds as though it’s a more workable alternative to a nightlong battle.
It sounds as though, understandably, you are still quite attached to making sleep happen — and that, in turn, might be the source of some difficulty. For as long as we might be trying to make sleep happen or trying to avoid wakefulness or trying to fight or avoid the very real and difficult thoughts and feelings associated with this stuff, we might be setting ourselves up for an ongoing struggle.
If I had a magic wand and could give you the exact amount and type of sleep you wanted, how would your life be different? What would you be doing differently? What would you then be able to do that you are unable to do now?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing, Tim — and it’s great to see the supportive discussion taking place here!
It sounds as though you’ve been finding it really helpful to practice being kinder to yourself and that you are far more flexible when it comes to sleep. You are more focused on actions that matter to you, rather than actions that might involve trying to control sleep. For example, you finish a show because you are enjoying it — rather than turning it off so you can get to bed by a certain time.
In essence, it seems as though you are moving away from trying to control sleep. And, in turn, sleep is having less control over your life.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Tim and thank you so much for sharing! When we are tangled up in the struggle, we can easily believe that “x” is the problem — that as soon as we solve “x”, everything will be solved. And yet, as you have shared, there are countless things that can influence sleep. We cannot accurately predict sleep or draw much from any patterns. And, even if we could, it wouldn’t really serve us well since sleep is out of our direct control!
If your growing awareness suggests there there is actually no predictor or pattern for a good night of sleep, this also means that sleep is still possible, even when “x” is present. You can, for example, still sleep well even in the presence of anxiety and you might also have a difficult night, even when there is no anxiety present.
Giving up those crystal ball predictions can help free up energy and attention to do more of what matters to you. And, giving yourself permission to rest and be comfortable when awake in bed — rather than trying to make sleep happen — sounds a lot more appealing! Not judging or evaluating your sleep each morning also helps expand your focus and might also be a way of being kinder to yourself, too!
It sure sounds as though you are on the right track here and you are clearly picking up many valuable insights. What a reflection of your progress — and that’s entirely down to your own curiosity and willingness to explore (and practice) a new approach to all this stuff.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It’s great to hear that you’ve been practicing the AWAKE exercise — remember that is a tool that is intended to help you build skill in experiencing being awake (and all the thoughts and feelings that can come with being awake) with less struggle. So, it’s not essential to practice it if you are awake and feeling comfortable.
Sleep deprivation is not the same as insomnia. Sleep deprivation is the intentional deprivation of sleep. It’s not giving sleep the opportunity to happen. Insomnia is difficulty with sleep caused by our struggle with sleep — the more we try to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen, the more difficult it becomes.
You asked a great question: Should I just lay there and accept it rather than searching on YouTube for meditations?
My answer would be — what does your experience tell you? Does your experience tell you that searching on YouTube for meditations is an effective way to directly and permanently control your sleep and whatever thoughts and feelings your mind might be generating? Does that approach help you reduce the power and influence sleep has over your life? Does that approach help you better live the life you want to live and be the person you want to be?
@Gdurity also shared some great insights from their own experience. Thank you for that, Gdurity!Ups and downs are natural and normal — we all fell over many times when learning to walk, right? And, even as skilled walkers, every now and then we still trip over! That doesn’t mean we can’t walk. It just means we tripped. Nothing more, nothing less.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Good on you for getting some practice in with the AWAKE exercise!
You mentioned that so far, after being five days into the second week of the course, you haven’t seen any improvement. That, perhaps, makes sense — it’s very early days, and what matters right now is practice. Practicing a new approach. Consistent, committed practice.
If you were to have seen improvement already, what would be different? From reading your post, it sounds as though you might still be a bit tangled up in trying to make sleep happen — and that might be setting you up for struggle.
If you feel sleepy before going to bed (when there is perhaps no effort or intent to sleep) and then you feel wide awake when you are in bed and when there might be effort or intent to make sleep happen, perhaps there’s an insight there?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I love all the support and the sharing of experiences and insights on display here!
To answer your question, @YogiShabi, there’s no need to get out of bed just because you are awake — unless you want to! As mentioned by @masharey if you feel comfortable while awake, there’s no need to do anything — after all, conditions are right for sleep
And, as suggested by @5inthehall and @Ardnek57, if you find yourself struggling with being awake, you always have the opportunity to do something more appealing instead.
We’ll be exploring this in a lot more detail in Week 2 of the course.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Just to add to the really helpful and supportive reply from @5inthehall, I think that over tiredness can temporarily make sleep more difficult if we respond by trying even harder to make sleep happen!
From a biological standpoint though, the more time we spend awake the more likely sleep is to happen — sleep pressure builds with every minute of wakefulness
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It’s so easy to get pulled back into the struggle — it usually happens many, many times. And, the more it happens, the more skilled we can become at noticing when this happens. And, it’s never too late to change direction once we’ve noticed the struggle has returned!
The fact you have returned to re-examine the material and to continue to practice a new approach to this is a reflection of your growth mindset — your understanding that, even when things are difficult and even if we might feel stuck, learning, growth, and change is always possible.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That does make sense — and it sounds like a way of being kinder to yourself and creating less struggle, too.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
My apologies, I do not understand what you are asking here, Packer Fan. Are you asking if going to bed at 10:00 PM, practicing the AWAKE exercise, and having no alarm would be a good plan? If so, I cannot answer that — but it might be helpful to ask yourself that same question.
So, if that’s a potential plan, how might that help you? How might it not help you? On balance, what might a helpful way forward look like?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That sounds like it might be a really worthwhile approach. When things feel difficult, that’s because they ARE difficult. When we are hard on ourselves on top of that, it rarely makes things any easier. You are not alone!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Christianna and thank you for sharing and it’s great to hear that you are getting some practice in with the AWAKE exercise!
You mentioned that you are still struggling with anxiety when you wake up — and that implies that you might still be a bit tangled up in a battle with it; that you might be trying to fight or avoid it. That’s not unusual and it does tend to make things more difficult.
Remember that the goal with the AWAKE exercise isn’t to make a peaceful state happen, or to make sleep happen, or to change any thoughts or feelings that might be present. That might happen as a bonus side-effect, but it’s not the goal.
The goal is to practice building skill in experiencing wakefulness and all the thoughts and feelings that can come with it with less struggle. Acknowledging what is happening, being more of an observer of it, being kind to yourself.
Your upcoming trip sounds fantastic! As you implied, you always have the ability to do things when on that trip that matter to you. You can experience your new surroundings, the new sights, the different culture, the food, the drink, the people, independently of sleep. And, when you look back on this trip in 100 years from now, I suspect you might be more likely to remember all the things you did on the trip when you were awake, rather than how you might have slept on that trip!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you for the opportunity to clarify!
The AWAKE exercise is intended to be used at night, as an alternative to struggling with being awake and with any of the difficult thoughts and feelings that might show up in the presence of that wakefulness. The goal is to build skill in experiencing wakefulness and all the stuff that can come with it, with less struggle.
The NOW exercise is intended to be used during the day as a way to refocus our attention on where we are and what we are doing when the mind seems to be distracting us or pulling us away from the present moment in an unhelpful way. The goal is to build skill in being more present and focused on the present moment when the brain tries to pull our focus and attention way from the present moment.
Does this help?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for the great question, @abdiradia!
Yes, you can use the AWAKE exercise any time you find yourself struggling with anxiety at night — it doesn’t have to be reserved for “sleep anxiety” or any specific form of anxiety. You can also use it whenever you find yourself struggling with difficult feelings or sensations.
I would suggest playing around with the exercise to find a way to make the practice most useful for you. Typically, I suggest starting the exercise whenever you find yourself struggling with being awake or struggling with certain thoughts, feelings, sensations, or emotions.
Distraction isn’t usually a helpful long-term strategy, but you are the expert on you!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing, Tara! We’ve all got your back here. Change is hard. And, yet without it, nothing changes. Every new action you take, every new practice you commit to, is progress.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
