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It sounds as though you’ve come up with some good ideas there, Kevin! Acknowledging, thanking, allowing are all approaches that can help reduce struggle since they don’t involve trying to control the brain.
I loved your analogy of the tightrope walker — very apt! When we try to “not think” about something, what do we think about?! That very thing, right?
@Sdzagrean — it sounds as though when you get “tired of the process” there’s no more effort or attempts to control. You let go — and things get a bit easier. Do I have that right?—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing how you respond to the time traveling mind — as you mentioned, your mind doesn’t know the future (regardless of what it might claim)!
It sounds as though you are practicing making space for all these thoughts, stories, and feelings. You are acknowledging them as thoughts. You are getting less tangled up in them. You are recognizing that they can also be a reminder of things that are important to you.
I appreciated you also sharing that deeper insight and recognition that even though things felt really difficult, when your focus shifted out and onto where you were, you become more aware of your environment and the world around you. And, in your words, this helped you see that things were still “normal”. Perhaps this helped ground you a little, helped you anchor yourself so you were a bit more present in the midst of the internal storm that was going on?
It sounds as though you are making a lot of progress because you are continuing to practice. You are continuing to learn and you are continuing to reveal fresh, useful insights! Thanks again for sharing 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Yes, 100%, it is really difficult to honor commitments after difficult nights. Let there be no doubt about that!
After difficult nights, you have a choice to make, right? You can choose to honor your commitments or you can choose not to honor your commitments. And, which of those options move you closer to the life you want to live?
Your final paragraph is full of insight and what you shared there is a reflection of your strengths of tenacity and determination — it sounds as though your experience tells you that without plans, things rarely feel better. They might, in fact, get worse. It also sounds as though you are able to draw on your strengths to commit to “just one more hour” of doing things that matter in order to keep moving toward the life you want to live when things feel difficult.
This isn’t easy and you aren’t alone in finding this difficult. When things feel really difficult, are you also able to speak and act toward yourself in a kind way — or do you find yourself being quite hard on yourself?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I appreciate your ongoing exploration and consideration — all signs of your growth mindset 🙂
Yes, as with life, there are always going to be “grey areas”. One reason why this course explores values in so much detail is they can be used as a guide in situations like this. When faced with a choice you might ask yourself if a considered action is aligned with your values — if it moves you toward the life you want to live or if it pulls you away from the life you want to live.
Quite often, using our values as a guide is more helpful (and workable) compared to using our feelings as a guide. When we use our feelings as a guide we can sometimes get pulled away from the life we want to live in an attempt to fight or avoid difficult feelings.
When it comes to being awake in bed, I don’t think there’s any need to do anything just because you are awake. It’s normal to spend time awake in bed and it’s OK to spend time awake in bed!
If you find yourself struggling, then you have the opportunity to practice experiencing being awake with less struggle (maybe by practicing the AWAKE exercise, for example).
There’s also no need to ever get out of bed just because you are awake, unless you want to. You might, for example, simply do something more appealing while in bed — anything that helps you practice being awake with less struggle.
I hope there’s something helpful here 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Time and consistent, ongoing practice is what counts! It sounds as though, in addition to staying in bed when awake at night you are also noticing progress when it comes to your level of struggle with being awake. And, that’s thanks to your ongoing practice — you can’t control what your brain does (or when) just as you cannot control your sleep. However, you can always control your actions. The more you practice, the more you build these new skills — and that’s rarely easy and usually comes with a lot of ups and downs along the way.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello SCTwo!
Thanks for sharing that you are practicing the AWAKE and NOW exercises! It sounds as though you might be under the impression that they are supposed to get rid of fear — and for as long as you try to fight or avoid certain thoughts and feelings you might be setting yourself up for an ongoing struggle since people cannot usually permanently control what they think or feel through effort. There’s no delete button for the brain, after all.
Where the AWAKE and NOW exercises can be helpful is in helping you build skill in experiencing fear (or any other difficult thought and feeling) with less struggle. If thoughts and feelings don’t create a struggle, they can start to lose their power and influence over us.
This might be where Packer Fan’s practice of repeating the word “insomnia” over and over was helpful. Instead of trying to fight or avoid the thought of insomnia, they deliberately exposed themselves to the thought of it, over and over again. The thought of insomnia is still there — but there was a change in its power and influence.
Is there anything useful here?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Packer Fan!
It’s good to hear that you’ve been practicing the AWAKE exercise — remember your goal with that isn’t to make sleep happen (as your experience seems to be telling you, the more effort you put into sleep the more difficult it can become). The goal is to practice and build skill in experiencing being awake (and experiencing the thoughts and feelings that might show up) with less struggle.
Exploring values can sometimes be difficult and confusing — can you tell me a bit more about what you are struggling with there? Are you finding it hard to identify your values, or to focus on a small number of them, or is it something else?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Hyhan — it’s totally natural and normal to find yourself getting pulled back into the struggle when difficult nights show up. That’s a well-trodden path with very little resistance, after all! It’s also natural and normal to experience fear and anxiety since they are normal human emotions.
When difficult nights show up, it can feel as though the struggle is inevitable — that it’s guaranteed to happen. And yet, since you can always control your actions, you always have the opportunity to continue cutting a new path — a new direction.
Instead of battling with all these “invisible enemies”, you might respond by practicing the skills shared in this course (if you feel that might be useful). And, every time you practice, you build skill in those practices.
I hope there’s something useful here. Difficult nights ARE difficult — so please try to be kind to yourself, too 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Good on you for getting some practice in with the AWAKE exercise! And, it’s perfectly OK to give yourself 20 more minutes of rest when that feels good 🙂
Your post demonstrates your growth mindset and recognition that things — no matter how difficult — can change. I would also agree that labeling changes as experiments can be very helpful — none of us can predict the future, after all!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and insights, Rubylight! It sounds as though you are developing a greater awareness of what you are thinking and feeling and the stories your brain might be coming up with as it does its job of looking out for you!
It also sounds as though, by giving yourself permission to be awake at night, you might be taking some of the pressure off — and, in turn, you might also be demonstrating some additional self-kindness, too.
Great stuff 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing that you are starting to feel more comfortable with being awake, Tim! I agree that is big!
Remember that the goal of the AWAKE exercise isn’t to make you feel calm (although that can sometimes happen as a bonus side-effect). The true goal is to help you practice and build skill in experiencing wakefulness (and all the thoughts and feelings that can come with it) with less struggle.
You are showing great awareness of what you are feeling and experiencing when you are awake at night and awareness is often the first step away from struggling with what you are feeling and experiencing — because awareness can sometimes give us a bit of “breathing room” that helps us choose how to respond 🙂
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I’ll take your comments about falling asleep to my voice as a compliment 😉
Many people find that distracting the mind can be helpful every now and then in the short term. However, since we cannot directly or permanently control the part of our mind that generates thoughts, feelings, and sleep, many people find that it’s not all that helpful over the long term.
With that being said, we are all different and everyone here is the expert on themselves!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Welcome to the course, Tara!
Your question is a good one — and, since we cannot control sleep (you probably wouldn’t be here if we could!) I suspect the answer is that we cannot end zero sleep nights through effort. And, perhaps it’s all the effort we might (understandably!) put into trying to end nights with no sleep that make them more likely to happen?
In the past, when sleep wasn’t an issue or a concern, did you need to try so hard?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Great question! Since your brain’s main job is to look out for you, if it believes it has to “gear up” for a battle with sleep once you get into bed, perhaps that might explain the apparent loss of sleepiness? What are your thoughts?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing — as you’ve seen, you aren’t alone!
It can be very difficult to interpret sleep! Sometimes we can remember dreams and sometimes we can’t. Sometimes it can feel as though we slept when we might not have slept and sometimes it can feel as though we didn’t sleep when we did sleep.
Something that might be with exploring is how you respond to nights when you remember dreaming, nights when you don’t remember dreaming, nights when you feel like you slept, and nights when you feel like you didn’t sleep.
Is there a difference? Do you live your life differently? Does the focus of your attention change? And, how do those responses help you?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
