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Thank you for sharing @Jessica2405 and @Rubylight!
As you mentioned, @Jessica2405, acknowledging that our minds are not our adversaries (even though it can feel that way sometimes!) and recognizing that all the difficult thoughts and feelings we experience come from our minds trying to look out for us can be really insightful.
With that, we can start moving away from battling our minds. That doesn’t necessarily mean we start sleeping wonderfully — but it can help prevent us from adding struggle on top of wakefulness and all the difficult thoughts and feelings that can come with it. And, when we expend less energy on battling we might also free up energy to do more of the things that matter to us. And, when we do that, we reduce the level of power and influence sleep/insomnia has over our lives.
As you said so eloquently, @Rubylight, sleep requires no effort. If there’s effort, there’s an opportunity to make a change. Of course, change isn’t easy and it usually requires ongoing practice.
The support shared here is so important and so valuable.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That sounds really difficult and you got through it, Packer Fan!
Without a sleep window is there an absence of struggle, an absence of difficult thoughts and feelings, and better sleep? Are you better able to live the life you want to live without a sleep window?
If so, perhaps not having a sleep window might be more appropriate for you — after all, you are the expert on you.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
This is a great discussion! It seems as though a common thread running through more recent posts is that distraction and/or trying to control the mind might offer some temporary benefit every now and then, but it doesn’t seem to be something that is effective over the long-term.
Practicing relaxation or yoga can definitely have some value — if we are interested in becoming more skilled in relaxation or yoga. If, on the other hand, our goal or intent is to control our mind (or our sleep) we might be setting ourselves up for more struggle.
What might things be like with all the (understandable!) effort to control what seems to be uncontrollable?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing! It sounds as though when there was more stuff going on for your mind to focus on — when sleep wasn’t the sole focus of your attention — sleep seemed to happen with a lot less effort!
The fact you have not only demonstrated awareness of this, but have considered how you might use this insight to benefit you as you continue to move forward demonstrates your strengths of critical thinking, forward thinking, curiosity, and introspection. I suspect it’s also evidence of progress
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello @ins_bdo and thanks for your post. You are sharing understandable and legitimate concerns and your questions and engagement are evidence of your growth mindset — your understanding that things can still change, even when you might feel stuck. That you can continue to grow and develop with ongoing committed action, learning, and practice.
And thank you, @Gdurity for the support you offered
While many people find that implementing some kind of sleep window to be helpful, dealing with the insomnia struggle often requires more than the implementation of a sleep window.
It might be also worth considering what your intent with the sleep window is. Do you see it as a way of creating a certain amount or type of sleep? If so, it can end up becoming another sleep effort — something you are doing in an attempt to control sleep. And, where does your experience tell you that approach gets you?
As explored in this course (which is not CBT-I, although it draws upon some CBT-I concepts), the sleep window is really intended to help us move away from chasing after sleep. From doing things like going to bed earlier or staying in bed later in an effort to make more sleep happen. Quite often, the more we chase after sleep the more elusive it can become.
It sounds as though you might be tracking/monitoring your sleep. What are you learning from that and how does it help you shift your focus away from sleep and toward other actions that matter to you and that help you live the life you want to live?
When you wake during your sleep window, how do you respond and how is that working for you?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
One you can control (how you respond to the knot), the other (the presence of the knot) you cannot, right? With that in mind, what might be a helpful way of dealing with the knot?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I would suggest talking to your doctor about the shaking. If there’s no medical explanation it might be a physical symptom of hyperarousal.
Many people have worked through the course having taken benzos. Since the course focuses on actions and skills, they can be practiced whether someone is taking medication or not.
It sounds as though you have experience in getting through adversity — getting off benzos was really difficult. And, you did it! Perhaps it might be helpful to draw on that experience when things feel difficult. All the strengths you drew upon then are still present now!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It sounds as though moving away from medication is important to you — why is that?
Nobody here can give you a recommended taper schedule, unfortunately — that should come directly from your doctor. Have you discussed your tapering plan with your doctor?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing, Sdzagrean. It’s good to know that your process of reflection has helped you realize that what you are going through makes sense. There’s nothing going on that’s unusual, unique, or a sign that you cannot continue to move forward on your journey.
It’s natural and normal to experience difficult nights and it’s natural and normal to struggle with them and to experience difficult thoughts and feelings in response — feelings such as discouragement and sadness.
Learning and practice is an ongoing process. Consuming and understanding information is one thing and putting information into practice is another. And practice is what matters. It takes time, especially if the new practice is so different to what you might have been doing in the past. You can control practice. You cannot directly control outcome.
And, separately from all this, sleep is sensitive to what’s going on in our lives. So, when we feel stressed in our job, when we receive bad news, when life changes, heck even when we are excited — sleep can be difficult. That’s all part of being a human being.
What matters is how we respond. Because how we respond determines the level of power and influence sleep and difficult nights have over our lives. It’s really easy to get pulled back into the struggle and, no matter how deep we get pulled back into the struggle, we always have the opportunity to pause, notice this, be kind to ourselves, and change direction.
How might you practice being kinder and compassionate to yourself when things feel difficult, do you think? Has the course given you any ideas?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Acceptance is a skill that requires ongoing practice — pretty much everyone finds it hard, especially in the early days of practice!
What matters is getting the practice in (and being kind to yourself when things feel difficult).
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It sounds as though going to bed when sleepy enough for sleep (rather than because you are chasing after sleep or responding to what the clock might say) and practicing refocusing your attention on where you are, what’s around you, and noticing what you are thinking and feeling with less judgement are all actions that are proving to be useful
A bonus side-effect of these actions can be the appearance of calm — but that’s not the intent. The true intent is to struggle less — and the struggle typically comes from trying to control what we are thinking or feeling, or trying to make sleep happen.
I wish you all the best with your ongoing practice!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing, Tim! As you mentioned, the reflection of your progress here is in the difference to how you respond to the difficult nights — not the absence of difficult nights!
Responding in a way that involves less struggle shows that you are building skill in a more workable response — and that’s entirely down to your own commitment to ongoing practice.
The fact you are also responding without judgement, are seeing each night as a fresh start, and are refocusing your attention on daily actions is also evidence of all the progress you’ve made in such a short period of time.
It also sounds as though you are becoming more skilled in living life in the present — not the past or the future (which is where our brains like to take us, by default).
Great stuff
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I love the supportive discussion here and the ongoing evidence of the existence of so many character strengths such as curiosity, exploration, reflection, determination, honesty, and tenacity!
Setbacks are a normal part of progress. They wouldn’t be setbacks unless we were comparing them to some kind of improvement that we’ve experienced! All setbacks mean are that we are human and that we are on a journey. When we walk, we trip sometimes. How do we respond? That’s what matters.
The AWAKE exercise can definitely be difficult to get your head around — especially at first. There’s a lot there. And, like any new skill, it’s going to be most difficult at first. And, it will likely get a bit easier with practice.
What matters is getting the practice in, playing around with it, seeing what works for you. Anything that helps you practice building skill in experiencing wakefulness with less struggle is probably going to be more helpful than continuing to struggle — so, feel free to modify the AWAKE exercise or do anything else that helps you experience wakefulness and any thoughts and feelings that might show up with less struggle.
Remember, too, that accepting anxiety isn’t supposed to get rid of anxiety — for as long as that’s the goal, struggle is likely to continue. This is about resisting it less — not burning all the energy and attention that’s required when we do battle with it. That battle makes things so much more difficult!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That’s a great insight — thanks for sharing, Christianna! Imagine if you gave your thoughts permission to be around for as long as they chose — then they might not need much of your attention at all.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for the great questions!
There’s no need to respond to being awake just because you are awake since being awake is a normal part of sleep. Perhaps that might simply be an opportunity to rest.
What can be helpful is responding in a different way if you find yourself struggling with being awake. At that time, you can practice a way to experience being awake that will help you build skill in experiencing wakefulness with less struggle — and that might involve practicing the AWAKE exercise.
Does this answer your question?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
