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That can feel confusing and unusual, but it’s natural and normal!
Many people experience periods of sleep disruption when there’s a change in their lives or their routines. What matters is how you respond — do you get pulled back into the struggle that comes from trying to fight or avoid insomnia and the difficult thoughts and feelings that can come with it (where does that approach usually get you)?
Or, do you acknowledge what’s going on, be kind to yourself, and refocus your attention on doing stuff that matters — actions that keep you moving toward the life you want to live and the person you want to be?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It can be hard to stay positive — that’s typically a feeling that happens inside us so we don’t usually have a whole lot of control over that stuff.
It might be a bit easier to *act* positive — to ensure your actions are aligned with your values and that they’re keeping you moving toward the life you want to live, even when things feel difficult.
Your actions are something you likely have more control over and they will determine how much power and influence all the difficult stuff that seems to be out of your control might have over your life.
I hope there’s something useful here and I wish you all the best. This is not easy.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
That’s quite common so you’re not alone there!
Before sleep was an issue, did you put as much effort into trying to calm your mind?
Based on your experience, how is trying to calm your mind working for you?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Laura! Difficult nights from time to time come with being a human being — just as difficult days from time to time come with being a human being.
Sleep can happen no matter what thoughts your brain is generating and no matter what feelings you are experiencing.
What can make sleep so much more difficult is reaching for a (metaphorical!) sword and shield, covering your body in a heavy suit of armor, and going to war with your mind as you try to fight or avoid or otherwise control your mind. After all, how likely is sleep to happen if you are engaged in a war with an invisible enemy each night?
From reading your post it sounds as though trying to fight or avoid certain thoughts and feelings or trying to control stuff that’s going on inside you doesn’t seem to be working — would you say that’s accurate? If so, perhaps that might be the next area to explore on your journey?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
How have you been getting on since you posted? As you implied, dealing with insomnia in a more workable way can often require more than the implementation or adjustment of a sleep window — that can be a really helpful start, though!
If you prefer to stay in bed when you are awake at night, I think it’s OK to do just that — especially if getting out of bed seems to make things even more difficult. What can be helpful is using those periods of wakefulness as opportunities to practice and build skill in experiencing wakefulness with a bit less struggle.
It sounds as though you are dealing with a lot of really difficult thoughts and feelings at the current time — and that’s often a big part of the insomnia struggle. It also sounds as though at least some of those thoughts and feelings contain important information — they are reminding you of how important your family is to you. How important it is for you to be there for your son.
Fortunately, those are all actions you can still do, even in the presence of insomnia and even in the presence of difficult thoughts and feelings. So, perhaps you don’t need to try fighting or avoiding those thoughts and feelings, especially if your experience is telling you that only creates more struggle?
I hope there’s something useful here and I wish you all the best. You are not alone.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Sleep drive is one part of the “requirement” for sleep to happen (in other words, we need to be awake for long enough). For the best conditions for sleep, there also needs to be a lack of effort to make sleep happen — a lack of attachment to sleep itself.
There’s a possibility that some sleep is happening over a seven day period — even though it can feel absolutely certain that no sleep whatsoever has happened — since our arousal system can’t usually suspend sleep for that long of a period without the balloon bursting!
It’s OK to think about sleep — your brain will think about whatever it chooses to think about. What matters is how you respond to those thoughts. Do you engage in a battle with them, trying to fight or avoid them? Are they controlling your actions in a way that is pulling you away from doing things that matter and from living the life you want to live?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
How are you practicing acceptance and not fighting? If I was in the same room as you when you were practicing that, what would I see you doing?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Being afraid of the possibility of getting two hours of sleep for six weeks is totally understandable! That might happen and it might not happen — nobody can predict the future (as far as I know)!
Does your experience tell you that you can directly and permanently make a certain amount or type of sleep happen through effort? If not, where does trying get you?
What you can always control are your actions — and it’s your actions that will determine your level of struggle and how much power and influence sleep (and the thoughts and feelings that can come with insomnia) will have over your life.
Identifying that trying to fight or avoid difficult thoughts and feelings is something that’s creating a struggle suggests that an alternative approach there might be worth exploring. What might that look like, do you think?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Ugh, sorry to hear of the illness that struck your family — that was no doubt very stressful and generated lots of difficult thoughts and feelings as your brain did its job of looking out for you and reminding you of how important your family is to you. I am glad to know everyone is feeling better!
It’s great to hear that once your family recovered you continued to do things that matter and went through the Christmas period in a way that was aligned with your values and that kept you moving toward the life you want to live and the person you want to be
The return of difficult nights is hard — it’s also normal, especially when there are clear stressors involved. Just as difficult days happen from time to time, difficult nights happen from time to time as well. So, you are not alone — and what matters now is how you respond.
In terms of dealing with difficult nights when they show up again, what have you learned from the course and what had you been practicing and finding helpful up to the time when illness hit your family? Which of those actions/skills/approaches could you start practicing (or continue to practice), do you think?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing! What kind of things do you tend to do during your buffer time and how is that different compared to what you might have been doing before you had a buffer period?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
If you were to clean that up a little, what would be different, Mark?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Good on you for diving in on the values work, Kevin — and thanks for sharing that you are finding that you identify with many different values, to varying degrees.
I’d suggest starting with (or prioritizing) values that really resonate with you — those might be more important to you compared to those you identify with but don’t get too excited about
With that being said, as long as you are acting in ways that are aligned with your values (to any degree) you are likely to be moving toward the life you want to live compared to if you acted in ways that aren’t aligned with any of your values!
Does this help?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Some great stuff there, @hiker — thank you for sharing!
@BorgC: Perhaps that fear or that internal voice is nothing more than a reminder that the work you are doing here is important to you? Perhaps it’s also a reminder that your brain is still there, doing its job and looking out for you — so maybe an appropriate response might involve simply thanking your brain for looking out for you?As you shared, you can’t directly or permanently control your thoughts and feelings — but you can always choose how to respond to them. So, if you want to laugh when your brain comes up with certain thoughts, feelings, or stories — go for it!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You’re definitely not alone in that experience, Sriram — and it’s great to hear that even when you have difficult nights you are continuing to get up around the same time and to go about your day as planned. That is not always easy to do and the fact you are doing that shows you have determination, resilience, and grit!
As you’ve found, difficult thoughts always come back — there’s no delete button for the brain. Did you pick up anything useful from Week 2 for how to practice moving away from the struggle with nighttime wakefulness (and the thoughts and feelings that can come with it)?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
This is great to hear — thank you so much for sharing! It makes sense that you have the wish and desire to get a certain amount or type of sleep — just as it makes sense that you’d probably like to have access to a magic delete button that could remove difficult thoughts and feelings from your mind whenever they show up! (I’ll have one of those too, please!)
As your experience tells you, sleep cannot be controlled through effort and thoughts and feelings cannot be controlled through effort. So, moving away from the ongoing struggle that comes from endless trying can sometimes feel quite liberating and free up so much energy and attention — and that, in turn, might help you do more of the stuff that truly matters to you
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
