Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Thanks for the great question and well done with implementing a sleep window!
Is getting out of bed in the middle of the night to sit on a chair in the dark something that helps you experience being awake with less struggle? What’s your goal when you get out of bed and sit in the chair in the dark?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for the great question! The AWAKE exercise (or anything else!) can easily become a sleep effort if our intent with it is to make sleep happen or to control what we are thinking or how we are feeling.
In your situation, it sounds as though you are practicing experiencing wakefulness with less struggle —great! — and then find yourself getting bored. Boredom is one of those things that can set us up for a bit of a struggle — it’s a feeling many of us don’t like too much and so we might want to start trying to get rid of that boredom and before we know it we are tangled up in a struggle with our minds!
So, what might be helpful here is refocusing on a workable way of responding to being awake at night — and, for many of us, that will involve practicing being awake with less struggle. So, anything that can help you with that can be useful!
That might involve practicing the AWAKE exercise — you might become an observer of that boredom. Does it have a name? Can you feel it in your body? Does it look like something? Does it sound like something?
It might involve reading a book. It might involve some trampolining!
Since the goal isn’t to make sleep happen or to control your thoughts and feelings, it doesn’t matter too much what you do when awake — as long as what you do is helping you experience being awake (and all the thoughts and feelings that might be showing up) with less struggle.
Does this help?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It’s great to hear you are practicing the three good things exercise, Packer Fan! What have you been learning from that?
It’s also great to hear that you’ve been practicing allowing your mind to wander during the night and to do what it’s going to do anyway!
You mentioned going down to the living room during your sleep window — why are you doing that? Also, have you given any though to the suggestion that allotting eight hours for sleep each night might be setting you up for a certain amount of nighttime wakefulness (unless, of course, you are currently averaging over seven hours of sleep each night)?
Are you still napping during the day? If so, how often do you nap, for how long, and at what times of the day?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for the great question!
It can be helpful to reflect on your own experience here. Does your experience tell you that going to bed as soon as you feel sleepy, even if that’s earlier than you might normally want to go to bed, creates a great night of sleep and helps you live the kind of life you want to live? If so, that is likely the best approach to take.
If your experience tells you that going to bed as soon as you feel sleepy, even if that’s earlier than you might normally want to go to bed, doesn’t seem to generate a great night of sleep and might be pulling you away from the kind of life you want to live, perhaps that’s not the right approach to take.
What might be useful is making the start of your sleep window the last time you check the time until the end of your sleep window and allowing yourself to go to bed from that point on whenever you feel sleepiness show up. If, on the other hand, you find that you can often fall asleep without a strong sense of sleepiness being present, you might just allow yourself to go to bed whenever your sleep window begins.
Now, it can sound as though there’s no real clarity here — and that’s partly intentional because a sleep window isn’t intended to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen. It’s not a rule or a ritual that can control sleep. It’s simply one tool that is intended to help us move away from chasing after sleep — from doing things like going to bed earlier or staying in bed later in an effort to make sleep happen.
As long as you aren’t chasing after sleep, as long as you are going to bed because you feel ready to go to bed, and as long as you have a reasonably consistent out of bed time in the morning, that’s all that really matters.
Does this help?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Getting more comfortable with experiencing wakefulness with less struggle, less resistance, and more acceptance and self-kindness is a huge sign of progress, @panfan1956! Thank you for sharing!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Hello Chris and welcome to the real starting line — finishing the course and practicing what you’ve been learning independently
Many people find it helpful to really take their time with the course; as I like to say, there are no prizes for finishing in the quickest time possible! What matters most is absorbing the information and practicing what you are learning. That often takes time!
A lot of people find that their sense of wellbeing — their perspective on sleep, their quality of life — improves before their sleep does. The more we can practice moving away from trying to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen and the more we can practice doing things that help us move toward the life we want to live, the more sleep seems to fade into the background and become just a “normal” part of our lives, perhaps like breathing.
Sometimes a new sleep schedule can create some temporary sleep disruption as we adjust — just remember that the goal with a sleep window isn’t to make a certain amount or type of sleep happen. It’s simply one tool that can help us move away from chasing after sleep — because the more we chase after sleep the more elusive it can become (and the more energy we consume)!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you so much for checking in and for sharing!
It sounds as though you’ve found that it can be harder for insomnia to take up as much space when you are living a rich and meaningful life and doing lots of things that matter.
If our lives are a circle and there’s not much more than insomnia in that circle it can be the focus of our lives and feel very influential and powerful. If that circle contains lots of other things, insomnia can get a bit crowded out or “diluted” and starved of the oxygen it needs to survive!
And yet, difficult nights will still show up from time to time — just as difficult days will still show up from time to time. They come with being a human being. What matters is how we respond to them.
It also sounds as though you’ve started being a lot kinder to yourself when difficult nights show up and that ongoing practice of experiencing wakefulness with less struggle has been helpful. I’d agree that the concepts explored in this course can apply to many other struggles in life!
Thanks again for sharing, and I wish you all the best for the future
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you so much for sharing, Sonja!
It’s good to hear that you found it so helpful to have a better understanding of how sleep drive works and that you’ve found it particularly helpful to maintain a consistent out of bed time (regardless of how you sleep from night to night) and to practice the three good things exercise!
What did you learn from practicing the three good things exercise? How do you feel that was helpful?
As you shared, practicing a new approach is often difficult — good on you for being curious and being willing to explore (and practice) a new approach!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Sorry to hear you got sick, Packer Fan — I hope you are feeling better now.
In terms of how to move forward, you might want to review the content of previous weeks to “freshen” up your understanding of things, and then finish up Week 3 and start implementing an action plan.
In other words, refresh your knowledge and then continue to move forward.
Does this help?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing, Gary. Do you usually feel sleepy enough for sleep at 10:00 PM?
A sleep window of 10:00 PM to 6:00 AM means that you are allotting eight hours for sleep each night.
If you typically get less than, say, seven hours of sleep at night, do you feel that sleep window might be setting you up for a certain amount of nighttime wakefulness? What does your experience tell you?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Great question, Packer Fan! I think the answer comes down to your intent — why would you choose to listen to a sound machine or sleep music? Is it because you enjoy those things, or are they efforts to make sleep happen or to control your thoughts and feelings?
If it’s the latter, what does your experience tell you in terms of the workability of trying to control sleep or your thoughts and feelings? Can they be directly and permanently controlled through effort, according to your own experience?
The “golden rule” of sleep and sex in bed is based on the CBT-I approach of stimulus control. If being awake in bed was the real problem, how do we explain the fact that so many people sleep great even though they watch TV in bed, work in bed, scroll on their phones in bed, read in bed, do crosswords in bed…
I talk about this a bit more in the lesson, “What About Stimulus Control for Insomnia?”.
As mentioned by @hiker, you can definitely get out of bed if you want — but it’s not required! The goal is to practice experiencing wakefulness with less struggle.
I hope this helps!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Congratulations on getting some practice in with the sleep window!
Going to bed 30 minutes before the start of your sleep window might not be what created some sleep disruption — but it’s completely understandable that your problem solving mind came up with that as the reason
The sleep window is nothing more than a tool that is intended to help us move away from chasing after sleep by doing things like going to bed earlier or staying in bed later in an effort to make more sleep happen.
So, experiencing a difficult night while implementing a sleep window (or going to bed half-hour or so before it begins) isn’t unusual at all and isn’t a sign that the sleep window isn’t working or that a sleep window is the key to making sleep happen.
If the sleep window is helping you maintain a reasonably consistent out of bed time in the morning and helping you avoid going to bed way earlier in the night than you want to be going to bed in an effort to chase after sleep, it’s working
As for whether listening to a meditation app if you are still awake at a certain time is good or bad — what’s your intent?
Do you want to meditate because you love to meditate and that’s something that’s important to you and helps you live the life you want to live? If so, how can it be bad?
Are you meditating in an effort to make sleep happen or to control your thoughts or feelings? If so, does your experience tell you that you can directly and permanently make sleep happen or control your thoughts and feelings upon command through efforts such as meditation? If so, maybe the app is good!
If your experience tells you that you cannot make sleep happen or control your thoughts and feelings through effort, perhaps listening to the app might be setting you up for a struggle?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Perhaps you don’t need to get that idea out of your mind? It’s a thought — and you get to decide how to respond to it
Does getting out of bed and reading or staring at the wall in the guest room help you live the life you want to live — or is it an effort to control sleep or what your mind might choose to do? In that context, how workable is the action of getting out of bed and reading or staring at the wall in the guest room?
I wonder if there’s a possibility that you seem to just start to fall asleep around 5:30 AM since, as you get close to that time, you might be putting less pressure on yourself to make sleep happen since you know you’ve been awake for a long time anyway and that you’ll soon be starting your day?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You are both very welcome
This stuff feels difficult because it is difficult — and both of you have demonstrated strengths of tenacity, curiosity, courage, determination, and self-kindness.
All of those strengths will be there for you to draw from as you continue to practice responding to this difficult stuff in a way that helps you practice moving toward the life you want to live and away from actions that can add more struggle and difficulty on top.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
There is no evidence that chronic insomnia causes infertility — and I have worked with many clients who had babies (and were great parents) even when insomnia was present.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
