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Thank you so much for checking in and for sharing!
It sounds as though you’ve found that it can be harder for insomnia to take up as much space when you are living a rich and meaningful life and doing lots of things that matter.
If our lives are a circle and there’s not much more than insomnia in that circle it can be the focus of our lives and feel very influential and powerful. If that circle contains lots of other things, insomnia can get a bit crowded out or “diluted” and starved of the oxygen it needs to survive!
And yet, difficult nights will still show up from time to time — just as difficult days will still show up from time to time. They come with being a human being. What matters is how we respond to them.
It also sounds as though you’ve started being a lot kinder to yourself when difficult nights show up and that ongoing practice of experiencing wakefulness with less struggle has been helpful. I’d agree that the concepts explored in this course can apply to many other struggles in life!
Thanks again for sharing, and I wish you all the best for the future
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thank you so much for sharing, Sonja!
It’s good to hear that you found it so helpful to have a better understanding of how sleep drive works and that you’ve found it particularly helpful to maintain a consistent out of bed time (regardless of how you sleep from night to night) and to practice the three good things exercise!
What did you learn from practicing the three good things exercise? How do you feel that was helpful?
As you shared, practicing a new approach is often difficult — good on you for being curious and being willing to explore (and practice) a new approach!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Sorry to hear you got sick, Packer Fan — I hope you are feeling better now.
In terms of how to move forward, you might want to review the content of previous weeks to “freshen” up your understanding of things, and then finish up Week 3 and start implementing an action plan.
In other words, refresh your knowledge and then continue to move forward.
Does this help?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing, Gary. Do you usually feel sleepy enough for sleep at 10:00 PM?
A sleep window of 10:00 PM to 6:00 AM means that you are allotting eight hours for sleep each night.
If you typically get less than, say, seven hours of sleep at night, do you feel that sleep window might be setting you up for a certain amount of nighttime wakefulness? What does your experience tell you?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Great question, Packer Fan! I think the answer comes down to your intent — why would you choose to listen to a sound machine or sleep music? Is it because you enjoy those things, or are they efforts to make sleep happen or to control your thoughts and feelings?
If it’s the latter, what does your experience tell you in terms of the workability of trying to control sleep or your thoughts and feelings? Can they be directly and permanently controlled through effort, according to your own experience?
The “golden rule” of sleep and sex in bed is based on the CBT-I approach of stimulus control. If being awake in bed was the real problem, how do we explain the fact that so many people sleep great even though they watch TV in bed, work in bed, scroll on their phones in bed, read in bed, do crosswords in bed…
I talk about this a bit more in the lesson, “What About Stimulus Control for Insomnia?”.
As mentioned by @hiker, you can definitely get out of bed if you want — but it’s not required! The goal is to practice experiencing wakefulness with less struggle.
I hope this helps!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Congratulations on getting some practice in with the sleep window!
Going to bed 30 minutes before the start of your sleep window might not be what created some sleep disruption — but it’s completely understandable that your problem solving mind came up with that as the reason
The sleep window is nothing more than a tool that is intended to help us move away from chasing after sleep by doing things like going to bed earlier or staying in bed later in an effort to make more sleep happen.
So, experiencing a difficult night while implementing a sleep window (or going to bed half-hour or so before it begins) isn’t unusual at all and isn’t a sign that the sleep window isn’t working or that a sleep window is the key to making sleep happen.
If the sleep window is helping you maintain a reasonably consistent out of bed time in the morning and helping you avoid going to bed way earlier in the night than you want to be going to bed in an effort to chase after sleep, it’s working
As for whether listening to a meditation app if you are still awake at a certain time is good or bad — what’s your intent?
Do you want to meditate because you love to meditate and that’s something that’s important to you and helps you live the life you want to live? If so, how can it be bad?
Are you meditating in an effort to make sleep happen or to control your thoughts or feelings? If so, does your experience tell you that you can directly and permanently make sleep happen or control your thoughts and feelings upon command through efforts such as meditation? If so, maybe the app is good!
If your experience tells you that you cannot make sleep happen or control your thoughts and feelings through effort, perhaps listening to the app might be setting you up for a struggle?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Perhaps you don’t need to get that idea out of your mind? It’s a thought — and you get to decide how to respond to it
Does getting out of bed and reading or staring at the wall in the guest room help you live the life you want to live — or is it an effort to control sleep or what your mind might choose to do? In that context, how workable is the action of getting out of bed and reading or staring at the wall in the guest room?
I wonder if there’s a possibility that you seem to just start to fall asleep around 5:30 AM since, as you get close to that time, you might be putting less pressure on yourself to make sleep happen since you know you’ve been awake for a long time anyway and that you’ll soon be starting your day?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
You are both very welcome
This stuff feels difficult because it is difficult — and both of you have demonstrated strengths of tenacity, curiosity, courage, determination, and self-kindness.
All of those strengths will be there for you to draw from as you continue to practice responding to this difficult stuff in a way that helps you practice moving toward the life you want to live and away from actions that can add more struggle and difficulty on top.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
There is no evidence that chronic insomnia causes infertility — and I have worked with many clients who had babies (and were great parents) even when insomnia was present.
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Yes, insomnia sure can suck — and it often gets even more difficult the more energy we spend trying to fight or avoid it.
What was your goal when you got out of bed after 20 minutes of being awake or doing something else that was boring, and then “trying” again? Might that approach have been an attempt to fight wakefulness and make sleep happen?
Experiencing insomnia with less resistance is a big topic and it’s something we’ll be exploring in a lot of detail as the course progresses. It’s great to know that you are open to this approach and considering how it might be relevant to you, even at this very early stage!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Thanks for sharing your progress!
Sometimes, as a bonus, we might find that we fall asleep or experience fewer or less intense thoughts and feelings after practicing the AWAKE exercise even though that’s not the goal of the exercise.
If that happens to anyone, I’d encourage them to enjoy those bonus side-effects and to keep in mind that the real goal with the AWAKE exercise is to practice experiencing wakefulness with a bit less struggle
It sounds as though you were both surprised and pleased by my suggestion that there’s no need to get out of bed just because you’re awake at night! It also sounds as though you are diligently practicing what we are exploring in the course and are finding a new approach helpful. Thanks again for sharing!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
What your goal be, if you were to adjust your sleep window?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
Glad to hear that was helpful!
I’m not sure you can shut your brain off from wanting to know, but you can choose not to track your sleep regardless of what your mind might be saying, suggesting, or even demanding!
Perhaps you might also thank it for looking out for you whenever it seems to want to track sleep?!
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
I suspect that, if given the choice between experiencing wakefulness along with difficult emotions or experiencing wakefulness without difficult emotions, most people would choose to experience wakefulness without difficult emotions!
Unfortunately, we cannot delete or block difficult emotions from our minds — as you know from experience. They show up when they want to, right? And, they can be really difficult to experience.
So, there are really only two ways of dealing with them:
1. Try to fight or avoid them (how workable is this approach according to your experience — does it free you from an ongoing and exhausting struggle and help you live the life you want to live?)
2. Practice experiencing them with less struggle while being kind to yourself, continuing to do things that matter, and continuing to act in ways that are aligned with who you are, the person you want to be, and the life you want to live.
It makes sense that you couldn’t necessarily do what you wanted to do when staying with family (or that it created some additional worry about disturbing them during the night — perhaps there’s a reminder of an important value there, too).
Perhaps it’s also easy to forget that staying with family might have been something that contributed more to your life compared to how you slept during that period?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
It sure sounds as though you’ve tried a lot to sleep through the night, Steve — would you say your experience suggests that you cannot make yourself sleep through the night through effort?
As we covered in Week 1, waking during the night is actually a normal part of sleep. So, perhaps trying to get rid of nighttime awakenings has the potential to pull you into a struggle that can make things more difficult?
What if you no longer tried quite so hard to fight or avoid waking during the night? How might things be different, do you think?
You might also want to ask yourself (and feel free to answer here, if you wish!) why sleeping past 4:00 AM is important to you. If you were sleeping right through the night, how would your life be different?
—If you are ready to stop struggling with insomnia you can enroll in the online insomnia coaching course right now! If you would prefer ongoing phone or video coaching calls as part of a powerful three month program that will help you reclaim your life from insomnia, consider applying for the Insomnia Mastery program.
The content of this post is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
